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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@raging-storms-and-seas
public lewdness | cam damage by tradecraftfoto
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why does wiggly sword exist? What are they good for?
Skill: Shows off the blacksmiths massive horse cock. In a time before modern machinery some crazy Germans and Swiss hammered beyond natural human limit. They probably did it as a meme then realised it was actually useful as a weapon. Sharpening a wavy blade would have been a nightmare.
Functional: Good for duelling sword vs sword. A traditional sword allows you to slide off an enemies blade if your swords clash, because the blade is straight. The waves in a flamberg blade creates vibrations which hurts the opponents hands, that doesnât sound like much but it gives you an advantage. Very useful for parrying since the enemies sword will strike, then the blade gets stuck on your wavy blade or they pull away from the impact shock. Either way you will have an opening to attack. Also the waves cut much deeper similar to a serrated knife. If you got cut once by this blade, you would not be able to stitch your wound shut, you are pretty much sliced bread.Aesthetic:Â Someone challenges you to a duel, while they unsheathe their boring longsword, you unwrap your wiggly sword. They immediately apologize and run because you are rich enough to afford a wiggly sword and probably have multiple wenches giving you ankle parchments.
But what if the princess was in the tower because she was the dragon?
Like the queen gives birth and oops itâs this adorable little scaley lizard with tiny wings that she can never quite seem to fold right
None of the Kingâs advisors or doctors can explain it, no one can remember anyone who might have cursed the royal family, plus sire sheâs clearly yours still I mean look at those eyes
They just kind of accept it and keep her in a tower so no one tries to slay her
The queen or castle servants reading bedtime stories to the toddler princess, whoâs made a nest of her favorite toys and some jewelery she stole off her mother, and when she laughs little puffs of smoke come out of her mouth
The king being so proud when she flies across the room for the first time
And once the princess comes of age, confused knights breaking into the tower to find a twenty foot long dragon sitting at the vanity getting her horns polished by her handmaidens
and the âkidnappedâ princess is her girlfriend?
this feels like a minotaur myth gone amazingly right.
Okay, who brought this back? Because I havenât seen notes on this thing in literally months.
She goes flying around the surrounding kingdoms, just watching and listening.
And pretty soon she has a dozen girls sharing the tower with her.
Some were being pushed to marry, or promised in marriage to someone they hated. Some were already married.
Some were poor, or hunted, or enslaved.
Some were thrown out, abandoned, banished.
Thereâs a princess there, yes, one who would rather sit in the solar and read books than marry a boorish prince and interact with her subjects all day.
Thereâs a wizard-student who fled her university after one of the professors tried to curse her for disagreeing with him.
Thereâs a girl who ran away to be a knight, and a girl who was thrown out for being pregnant, and a wife who ran out the door with her toddler carried in her broken arms, her belly swollen and unwieldy, and stories circulate from the bar the next day about how the dragon swooped down and stole away a manâs wife.
Probably ate her, he says. Good riddance.
Thereâs a formerly-wealthy merchant wife, cast out by her husband in middle age so he can wed someone young and pretty.
Thereâs an elderly grandmother whoâs outlived her family and her usefulness.
A street child, rag-clad and starving. A baby, left abandoned on a hillside.
It begins to filter through the land, spoken from fathers to daughter, husbands to wives, employers to servants: if you are bad, the dragon will take you. if you are stubborn, or willful, or refuse to marry, the dragon will find you. if you are useless, or slovenly, or disobedient, you will be thrown out and the dragon will pluck you up in its claws and take you back to its lair filled with bones.
They do not understand that this is not a threat but a promise.
They do not know that the version their servants tell each other, their wives tell their daughters, their mothers tell circles of friends, is âif you are desperate, the dragon will find you. if you want out, the dragon will rescue you. if you pause outside, and tell your fears to the soft beating of wings somewhere in the sky, you will fly, and the dragon will carry you home.â
There are bones, but they are surrounded by living flesh.
The tower, the Princessâs Tower in the central kingdom, is hidden by the finest spells and left alone by longstanding tradition. The nature of the Princessâs curse is a matter of speculation, but most likely, people say, she is under some fairyâs enchantment, and she will sleep for a hundred years until the right prince finds the way in.
The wizard-student was fairly advanced in her studies, and is quite good at teaching the runaway scullery-maid and the young unmarried mother turned out when her belly showed. The gates to the far reaches of the tower grounds open to a hillside two kingdoms away, and to an alleyway in a major city, and to a deep tideswept cave near a fishing village and a harbor, and to a storage room in the oldest wing of the Princessâs home palace.
The rich former merchantâs wife sorts through the dragonâs hoard of gold and gems, and delivers instructions to the runaway postulant and the worn old farm wife; dressed as a young clerk and a common tradesman, they go to call on this merchant who sets the best prices, and that factor who has misplaced goods available for a low price, and this manufacturer of looms and that seller of books.
The farm wife knows the best sheep to buy at market, the ewes who will bear twins and the lambs which will have the finest wool. Another country over, this time in the company of âhisâ elderly âfather,â she buys cows that will give good milk, and chickens that will lay good eggs.
An elderly wizard visits a university, and inquires after their library; she is let in, and watched as she pages through books filled with arcane topics in languages she canât understand; back at the tower, the wizard girl and her students capture the pages in a scrying crystal.
A pretty young fishwife smiles at the vegetable-seller as her daughter clings to her skirts, and soon the girls and women of the tower have seeds to plant. Looms hum, and dyestuffs are boiled, and even the poorest in their former lives wear bright dresses, or breeches and tunics if they prefer.
The dragon brings back a pirate woman from the harbor, stolen from the hangmanâs noose while the crowd cheers; she knows where there is treasure stored, and soon the young girls have gems to play with, and the girl who ran away to be a knight has someone to learn proper swordwork from.
The little girl whose first flight was in her motherâs broken arms wants to be a blacksmith; when a swordblade breaks, the dragon breathes on it, as long as needed, while the child determinedly hammers it back together.
The dragon princess surveys her kingdom with approval. It is small, and tonight she will fly over a small town, where she heard breaking crockery and yelling last night, to see if someone steps out into the darkness and wishes for a better life, and tomorrow there may be one more.
OMG. THIS! This is so flippinâ awesome!!
#Relateable
Pretty sure Iâm Polyamorous because the biggest need I want met is Attentionâąïž and itâs selfish and ultimately to my own disadvantage to want to monopolize/ consume myself in someone so exuberantly.
But idk what casual or moderate or how to want to spend my time on or with someone unless I deeply care for them. But when I do, I want to spend all of that time with them.
Two heads are better than one
Little viper skeleton
âWe canât always control what we encounter, but we can always control how we engage it.â
â Jerry Corstens
âIt depends on the argument.â
âYes. But tits are never the wrong answer.â
-CuteButt Kevin
Slytherins are...
The first wave of new mint gum filling your mouth. Winter air hitting your face and making your cheeks red. Going home, straight up to your room, throwing your backpack on the ground and falling onto your bed in contentment. That feeling when you say the perfect comeback. Walking through a busy street with your headphones in. That half smile when the person you like does something cute. Shoving your hands deeper into your pocket. Writing down a whole list of things you wanna do today, only to realize itâs too much and youâre kinda lazy. Not taking shit from anyone. If anyone makes someone else cry in your presence (whether or not you know the victim) they better start running. Fitting perfectly into your lover and friendâs arms. Putting your hood on. Sucking on ice. Tapping your nails against hard surfaces. Following trees and lampposts with your eyes as your car drives past.
Sassy Slytherin Moodboard Requested by @slytherinbeanie
Slytherin tendencies (from slytherins I know)
-Listens to their favourite song so much they become sick of it
-Talks big but is biggest wimp to exist
-Best fashion sense
-Likes to have options when it comes to friendships (has few friends that are complete opposites of each other)
-Humour consists of old vines
-Strong opinions but is understanding to others who think differently unless you are rude about it
-s a s s
-Has like 40 playlists on Spotify
-Fascinated by the feeling of nostalgia
-Has pretty high self confidence loves their individuality
-You either love them or donât understand them at all
-Hates listening to others complain but complains all the time
-Looks at you intimidatingly but is most likely thinking to themselves the most positive thoughts about you
-You will be a dead man if you hurt their
family/friends they are extremely important to them
-Has the most obscure fears that others will laugh at
-All around has quite a few talents but hasnât really settled for pursuing one of them
-Uses the word âironicallyâ in front of their interests so they are more socially acceptable
-Mutes most group chats they are added to unless they were the one who made it
-Pretends they donât need love but itâs bs secretly hopeless romantics
-Makes the best companion in my opinion
đGet yourself a slytherin buddy đ
When you kinky and sexual and shit but still got a real big heart