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Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 14)

The journey so far:

-Are robes of deflection just a necromancer fashion trend? I've found three of them already

-I just wasn't paying attention is all (1st death)

-Well yeah it will be up to me to decide that fates of many, I am the protagonist after all lmao

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #argonian #out of context #shitpost #why am i like this #100% run

Leaves this here and flees

#oc #oc art #vector illustration #art #dnd art

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 13)

The journey so far:

-Do you mind? I'm trying to suspiciously loiter behind someone's house!

-What do you mean no one wants to sell me spells at 11 PM?

-Don't worry, I found you somewhere to sleep that's not under a terrifying, tall wall. It's under a terrifying, tall cliff instead. I'm helping! =D

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #argonian #out of context #why am i like this #shitpost #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 12)

The journey so far:

-I don't know how to say this but...lady your face looks a bit...melty

-Just say 'no' to chronomancy

-don't mind me, just carrying someone's heart in my pocket

-walk animation? What's that?

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #argonian #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 11)

The journey so far:

-woke up at 5 AM to offer cocaine to a statue who then sent me on a vampire hunt at this ungodly hour

-huh. This fellow had two hip bones

-I kinda wanna murder the Count of Bravil. Idk kinda has that 'looking to die for insulting me' energy

#oblivion #the elder scrolls #argonian #shitpost #why am i like this #out of context #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 10)

The journey so far:

-Don't worry sir your shop is safe with me. Steals everything that isn't nailed down

-sorry, I got distracted by spaghetti

-Um. Sir. The...the training dummy is over there...never mind

-as murder plots go, 'trying to drown someone who can breathe underwater' is a pretty poor example

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #argonian #out of context #why am i like this #shitpost #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 9)

The journey so far:

-Help I neener neener'd too close to the sun DX

-Mace identification fail

-bandits can climb boxes but I can't? No fair!

-they really shouldn't be leaving mushrooms and cocaine lying around, someone might steal them

-don't worry lady, I'll definitely be forgetting about you

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #argonian #out of context #why am i like this #shitpost #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 8)

The journey so far:

-Idk about you, but a potential marriage partner having the title 'the Contemptible' feels like a red flag

-I am so sorry your dowry was the same price as 22 iron arrows

-Uh. Thank you random townsfolk for coming to my aid???

-Neener neener you can't follow me into the hell portal!

#oblivion #the elder scrolls #out of context #shitpost #argonian #why am i like this #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 7)

The journey so far:

-broke 86 lockpicks, but at least didn't have to climb into a box

-murdered a man for his smut

-East? I thought you said Weast!

-did you know crabs had hip bones? I sure as hell didn't

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #out of context #why am i like this #argonian #100% run #shitpost

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 6)

The journey so far:

-free bundt cakes in the sunken sewer water urn! Fuck yeah!

-casual grave robbing

-Uh. Had to reload a save because an important NPC yeeted himself off a chair too hard and died

-UwU cuddly giant rats~ ....and a dead basement lion I suppose

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #argonian #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 5)

The journey so far:

-cardio in full plate heck yeah

-took a book from a charred corpse and asked zero questions about it

-tattled on another mage like a dang 5 year old

-got completely hammered. With a stick. To the face.

-the enemy has been hoisted by their own petard. ...That phrase really should be used more often

-roots can make an excellent slip n slide

-turns out, you cannot pickpocket a tree

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #argonian #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 4)

The journey so far:

-got attacked by a dog that seemed to think I was roughly 8 inches to the left

-NPC claps "Oh no, they're bleeding all over the place!"

-A guy with an afro is so amazed by himself he's decided he's in charge

-"I don't believe in magic. But I do believe in bones."

-walked into the mayors house by accident twice, my goodness

-the merchant was probably high as balls and I probably didn't want to buy food from her

-"You've got nice bones."

-An insane Scottish man asked me to trust him

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #argonian #100% run

Santos smirked for a moment, but quickly realized something was wrong. The demon wasn’t vanishing. Instead, it looked up at him, beaming. Santos tried to pull the trigger again, but his arms were suddenly forced to his sides by an invisible weight. He dropped his guns, which landed with a clatter on the wooden floor. It was no use attempting to reach for the knife at his belt; his hands were completely immobilized.

Nocturnes 1 - The Hunt Begins

#oc #quote #dnd #short story #writing #archive of our own

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 3)

The journey so far:

-went back into the hell portal and oh god help I'm out of potions

-had my ass saved by a loading screen

-stabbed a ghost

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #argonian #100% run

Elder Scrolls Oblivion: Shitpost Edition (Session 2)

The journey so far:

-I shall be honoring a fallen soldier by wearing his pants into battle

-made a peasant the emperor