You're worthless.
You're nothing.
You're disgusting.
Rapid hits met your leg as you sat up against the bed, the room tarnished as too many emotions bubbled up inside: anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt. Too many emotions for one body.
The urges to sink nails into your skin, to take the sharpest object and cut your skin, and let the crimson liquid pour out, the desire to harm your own being was strong.
Do it.
You deserve it.
It would be better for everyone if you were gone.
Your thoughts were disrupted by a knock and the sound of a creaking door. "Chère, You won't believe what has happened—Oh." The familiar black-haired man stopped short of speaking, taking into account the wrecked room and the clearly not-doing-so-well you.
"What appears to be the matter, Chère?" Vanitas started off with a more gentle approach, cautiously walking over to take the spot right next to you. Sure, Vanitas wasn't the best when it came to comfort; Noe was probably way better at this than he was, but he was trying.
He listened as you ranted(you can decide on what you were talking about,) stopping your hand as it tried picking at your skin and distracted it by keeping both of your hands in his, his thumb gently tracing over your knuckles. Though a few times, you smacked his hands away, sudden change in not wanting to be touched to then apologizing for hitting his hands and letting him hold them again.
When you were done, he hadn't let go, hadn't stopped listening through it all. "I see...Well, it's alright to feel overwhelmed, Dear. And no, feeling this way doesn't make you a burden, not at all." Vanitas said, holding your hands in a (purposely) weak grip, just in case if you suddenly don't want to be touched again.
"Here, let's get you some water, and because I am so generous, I'll allow you to cuddle with me." Because that's comforting, right? He thought as he helped you stand up and move you to the bed, loosely wrapping his coat around you, after taking it off, before he went to pour you a glass of water.
It didn't take him more than a minute to do so and to become, taking the spot right next to you as he gave you the cup. He made sure you didn't chug the drink down; it would be terrible if one of the people he distrusted the least choked.
"Oh, And don't worry about the mess. Noe can clean that up." Vanitas said as he took the glass when you were done, setting it off to the side on the bedside table. He then gently, and with as much as care as someone like him could make, moved to let you lie with him on the bed, even let you lay your head on his chest with, again, a loose arm over you just in case. No sudden moves, just an attempted way to be soft and patient.
"It's okay, Chère, your emotions are valid. And nobody thinks of you any less because of them, 'Kay?" He spoke, using his hand rest on your head, maybe play with a strand or two. "Not me, Not Noe, not even Baldy. So please, don't think of yourself any less."
(Here ya go!^^ I tried my hardest to research about it and learn. As someone who doesn't have it, I don't know much about it or the struggles you guys go through for those who do have BPD, so I don't know how well I did to portray it, hence why it's short too. Any feedback would be much appreciated. Though this might be the only fanfic I'll write with a mental illness as I'm not the best at writing them, maybe or maybe not,. And to whoever reads this, know that you are very much loved, and I hope you have a Good day/night! (>^v^)>🩵) (For the image)
