No, I mean what exactly are friends,why do we call them friends, how do we define them as friends.
These aren’t big questions in life, if anyone asks friend around them this question how, when and why, the responds will just be “Are you fucking stupid?”, but they also don’t have a simple answer to it. No, honestly, these aren’t questions anyone can just Google Or Bing it.
Friend, this word, roots within the Germanic and Old English, associates with honor, love and peace. A word describing association, kindness and timelessness, yet, as much as humanity can endure, is a word that describes the fickle spot in time.
By nature, humans are social at core, we seek out to interact with each other, to exchange for foods and shelters, and to reproduce to ensure survival. That is an inevitable step to form partnerships, groups and society. We WILL always to interact with those are agreeable with us in these partnership, because we seek out to comfort, reinforce and strengthen our own beliefs. Humanity seek out validations, out of loneliness we feel in nature. By evolution, we achieved the impossible, humans aren’t the strongest or fastest predator, and yet it is humanity reigns over the course of Earth itself. Just as standing on the top of the mountain at dawn, one can witness the bright sunrise, the morning fog disappears as the sunlight pierces through it, and the chilly winds whimper away as the morning dews start to form. With shiny sunlights, the entire mountain range is revealed, the vast chasm of hollowness as the flocks of bird begin to dive in and out of valley, the ever shade of darkness at night becomes flush of greens in an instant. At that moment, wouldn’t be nice to be next to another person. And look at each other and says
“Well, wouldn’t you look at that?”
And imagine human evolution is the peak of that mountain, and everything humanity has achieved is what those scenarios are. At that exact moment, humanity feels alone in the vast of chasm of nature and time and the same moment, it realizes the need for comfort and companionship. And with that, it is impossible to not feel lonely at all.
And now imagine, in this human society, with amount of complex intelligences and emotions, it is destined that human will form friendship based on things that can distinguish those are us and those are not us. Since humanity already distinguished themselves from nature, it is natural step to evolve and be different and same at the times to earn validations, that is what friends are. It is not love, but to comfort and validate
Friends aren’t easy to make, because validations and comforts aren’t easily earned.
The scavenger hunts of life, no one know when or where they can find a friend. They can appear during the best time or the worst time. They are the perfect maple leaves that fall on the palm of the hand as one walks through the forest in the north during time of harvest, thousands and thousands of maple leaves scatter across the forest, and yet finding that perfect leaf, is not staged nor controlled. That perfect leaf can fall on one’s palm as they reaching out to feel the autumn wind, or land on one’s shoulder as they kneel down to find curistory in the soil, or even hitching a ride on one’s cap until they takes it off only to discover that leaf.
Only through discovering, human friendship can be meaningful and loving, but the journey of that discovery is no easy task. No matter how much friends have in common, there will always be going to be disagreement, that’s just the plain number one rule. And yet, the lack of directness about these disagreement always bottle up how friends truly feel about each other. It is because we are not mean enough to call out and speak out? Hardly, we don’t want to be direct out of respect for that mutual attractions or ideas, even in the long run, the mutual understandings overshadows the disagreement on things that aren’t not mutual. Friends may begin to play a persona that they want the other parties want to see and buries away uncomfortable topics. And eventually, small things add up and there may be a fuse that may lit up the explosive confrontation. Since comfort is what human seek, and it will continue to be this way. But only after that confrontation of emotions, friends can discover what behind that cracked persona, the real individual. And if they have made a connections not just based on mutual affections for things or topics, but rather on a gradual introduction to each other’s world and learn from each other’s experience, that is where friendship can truly bloom.
To those who believe that you can be friends with everyone, or those who try to be friends with everyone, a great applaud to you for your efforts like the dancer on the stage who spends her entire life, to perfect her routine. The pains, the shattered bones, and amount of sweats she has to go through as the twenty years since she can remembers putting on that tiny ballet shoes. The intensive pain in that dark, cold, and silent room, as she practices from dawn until dusk, where she had collapsed more than time than she could have remembered. And here she is, on stage in a gold gilded theater, sounds of clappings reaching across the hall, as the audience stands up giving her the ovation she deserves. And unfortunately for you, those pain far outweighs the applause. Unlike that dancer on the stage, actively trying to make friend and mastering dancing is two different subjects.
“ I want to be friends with everyone”
While it is good intention, it means that person is casting a net over what one can experiences, learns and hears. The larger the net, the thinner it will be, because there is simply not enough time to listen to everyone. No human is super enough to remember everything and everyone has said, or to be direct about disagreement. And that just turns into a faux relationship, where they don’t even remember why they became friends. Without knowing why or dissecting the relationship, it feels ephemeral. Sure, mutual attraction is always good, is a way to seek out like mindedness, but without the deeper discussion, it is just that a connection made from artificial goods, and like any other artificial, it can be erased just like dusts.
In the end, this discussion is just a personal take, and whether I like it or not, I still do the things I have criticized in this piece, is just human. So don’t worry about it, seek out whatever you find in comfort and happiness, but it is always nice to keep this in back of mind.
