warnings; swearing, anxiety attack, tell me if I missed anything.
synopsis ; Rafe is a bit tied up in all of his problems, so he doesn’t even notice the way you feel about him.
Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
A/N: This is not proof read. It’s also a little short because I didn’t know how exactly to go about it. But the idea still came to my head so I went with it. Just fluff.
I don't think there was ever a time you didn't put Rafe first, in any and ever situation, Rafe always came first for you, as your best friend of course, even though you wanted more.
Everybody knew about how desperately in love you were with him, besides himself. How ironic, he had heard it a million times "Dude
y/n is so in love with you," and every-time he did, he laughed in their face and brushed it off. Completely ignoring them and not believing a single word coming out of their mouths, because truthfully, the only people he trusted in this world were you & his dad.
The thing that hurt about being best friends with Rafe Cameron, is he always put his father first. No matter how much of a cunt Ward was, no matter how many times Ward picked his two little girls over him, Rafe always kept Ward first, and you could never understand why.
Night after night, you heard complaints from Rafe about how he hated his sisters, like it was their fault his father was putting them first.
It was nobody's fault, it was just how Ward was. Pushing Rafe, the only person besides rose who truly cared for him, away as far as he possibly could, using him, knowing Rafe would always be their when Ward needed him.
You knew Ward as a manipulative control freak father, and Rafe as a controlled helpless son. But, there was nothing you could say, because if you ever truly brought it up, you know to many feelings would get involved, and you'd end up spilling and getting hurt.
"I just- I don't understand,"
Rafe paced around your room as you sat on your bed, listening to him as always, you truly cared for him, but you started to become careless with this subject. Feeling bad, but also feeling tired of the constant complaint.
"Sarah never gets in trouble, but god forbid when Rafe does the tiniest thing, he gets smacked," he said, his knuckles turning white.
Tears swelling in his eyes, "I just- he's so ignorant, I always take care of him, yet he always picks Sarah,"
he said, angry but slowly calming himself down, looking at the time, "I have to go, I'll see you tonight, I'll be watching," he winked before leaving.
You nodded with a tight lip smile, he smiled at you before running off. You sighed when the door closed, feeling like you weren't cared for by him, you knew he cared but, you didn't feel it because he never showed it, he considered you his best friend, but never asked you how you were doing, or if you were okay, well not since this drama acted up with his father at least.
You hoped in the shower, hoping to wash away every sad and unpleasant emotion, it was your night tonight. You were going to have a good night no matter who stood in the way.
You put on the long dress your mother laid out for you, ready to finally do something meaningful for your family. Promoting a big speech in front of everyone, your nerves were on a high and your stomach twisted at the thought of messing up.
"You look beautiful sweetheart," she smiled as you walked out the bathroom. Doing a little twirl, "Trust me, he's not gonna know what's hit him," she laughed, "What do you mean?" You asked.
"Rafe,"
"Why would I care?" You asked, never have you ever told your mother about your feelings for him, and you were never planning on it.
"Y/n, I'm not that old, and I'm definitely not stupid," she laughed before pushing you out the door, "we are late, come on," she stated hurrying up, and rushing out.
As you walked into the country club, seeing a lot more people then you thought. You felt anxiety wash up and through out you. The sick feeling in your stomach, the one person you had hoped to calm your nerves down was Rafe.
As you looked through the crowd to find him, not a single sight of him.
"hey have you seen Rafe?"
"No,"
Was the answer you got, had he seriously not shown up? The one night you actually asked him to show up to something, he didn't. Of course he didn't, what were you thinking.
"Hey mum, have you seen Rafe anywhere?" You asked her after circling the whole place, "No sweetie," she said rubbing your back. Trying to comfort you.
"I don't think I can do this," you said tapping your foot in a rapid pace, "What?"
"Yes you can sweetheart," she said, you felt your heart thud against your chest, palms getting sweaty and breathing getting heavier.
Looking at the amount of people there were standing in front of the stage. All eyes would be on you, what if you messed up? What if you made a fool of yourself? All things would help you calm down with, but he didn't show up.
"I-," you stepped back from the stairs, "I'm sorry mum," you said walking away, tears in your eyes. Your mother calling out your name faded as you got further away.
You quickly walked down the street, the street lights lighting up the street. You didn't realise how quiet and empty outer banks was until you were alone on a street at night time.
You walked down, not knowing where you were going, your feet thinking for you as you bit your nails, over thinking everything.
Guilt and anxiety swaying in your stomach making you feel nauseous. As you cried to yourself on the empty streets.
Suddenly, you don't know how much longer later. You found yourself at Tanny Hill, standing in the drive way looking at the big house, seeing Rafe's room lit up, but no cars anywhere.
You felt a mix of anger, confusion but most of all betrayal from him. You stepped up to the main door, pressing the doorbell.
Tapping your foot once again, and biting your nails waiting for him to answer.
"Y/n?" He questioned, then looking you up and down, realising what he had forgotten.
"Oh shit y/n, I totally forgot,"
"My dad needed help with this, thing and i totally forgot fuck," he said.
You felt your heart break, he was complaining
about his dad all day today. But as soon as his dad needed him he'd drop everything, you were there for him, every-time you were close to fixing Rafe his father broke him again.
You stood there staring at him, "hey, are you okay?" He stepped closer, worry expression.
You just looked up at him, tears in your eyes, feeling anger slowly creep up on you.
"So, you missed one of the biggest nights of my life, when I really needed you, to go help your dad out with something," you asked him.
"I know y/n/n, I'm fucking so sorry, I messed up," he said.
"Messed up?" You questioned, "No matter how much I- I'm there for you, no matter how much I show how much I fucking love you, you always pick your dad over me, who uses you and shows you no real emotion towards you, just manipulates you," you ranted.
"I'm always there for you, I'm the reason your not coked out all the time, I'm the fucking reason your still here!" You stepped back from him, "yet, you still pick him,".
"Y/n-"
"No, fuck you! Your so obsessed with validation from your father that you can't even see that I'm in love with you,"
You watched his expression change slightly, from guilty to regretful.
"I spent all my fucking time, fixing you, being there for you, I've dropped so many things that could've helped me, for you!"
"I choose you every fucking time, your my first choice, and I've done everything for you,"
"And you- you still choose someone who makes you miserable," you cried out.
"I didn't-"
"you didn't know? Of course you didn't know, because you only care about him and yourself!" You pushed him.
"Y/n," he started, he really did not know what to say to you. "I'm sick, and tired of it Rafe, I'm so fucking tired of being the second choice, of being your second choice," tears falling down your cheeks.
You felt his hands cup your cheeks wiping away your tears, he looked down at you, expressions of sorrow and love written on his face.
He licked his lips shaking his head, "I'm sorry," was what he could say, "I guess-" he started to think of what he might say.
"I guess I didn't know if you actually cared for me or not, everyone leaves me y/n,"
"Everyone, and I was just scared,"
You understood, you didn't know if you were now falling into one of his traps, or if he was just trying to be sorry.
"I love you, more than anyone, I don't want to make you my first choice just for you to leave as well," he cried.
"It's easier to choose him, because he has to stick around, you don't," he explained.
"We made an oath when we were thirteen to stick around, no matter what, no one else matters to me as much as you do," you said.
You placed your hands over his, "when I say, your my first option, I mean I would do anything, and everything for you, and I'm not going anywhere, ever,".
And those words changed him, as cheesy as it sounds you changed him.
"I love you," he sighed out, like it's been a weight on his shoulders.
"I love you," you said, then feeling his lips finally touch yours, his grip tight like he was never going to let go.
You were now tied to Rafe Cameron, for the rest of your life it was going to be like you were tattooed on each other's skin.
Those words, on that doorstep, were more trustworthy than vowels.
Sammy had been trying to impress you this entire case. He had concentrated on being smooth and getting the right answers, revelled in each and every smile you had thrown his way, but what he hadn't been prepared for was for your incredibly flirty comments when he showed up in his suit.
"Damn! I thought Dean looked good but next to you he looks like a homeless guy." You hummed, a smile playing on your lips as Dean shot you an offended look and Sam tried to prevent himself blushing by adjusting his jacket.
"Will you keep you eyes on the case, not on my brother?" Dean smirked when he noticed the effect your words had on Sam.
"I don't know, he really fills out that suit. Where on earth did you find a suit that fits you so well?"
"Tall and Lanky. It's the same store that Big Foot shops at."
"Shut up, Dean." Sam huffed, trying not to let your harmless teasing get under his skin. You were just messing around, it wasn't like you were into him or anything.
"Yeah, Dean. Just because you shop at the same store as cowboys, don't try to bring everyone down to your level." You moved to stand beside Sam, running your fingers down his arm. "You don't listen to him, I think you look hot. Then again," your shrugged and moved towards the door, "I always think you look hot."
Dean patted his flustered brother on his shoulder as he headed after you, leaving Sam to try and figure the best way to finally ask you out.
Synopsis; you don’t know that you are your favourite teachers, favourite student..
Warnings: P in V, Public sex?, Pet names, Oral (m receiving), mouth covering. Not proof read…
A/N; reader is over 18!!
“Ok if you could fuck any teacher, who would it be?” You friend Lilly asked boldly, and quite loudly in the middle of the University halls.
You and your friend Casey laugh at her confidence that nobody would hear her, or maybe she didn’t care. You tried to hide the embarrassment in your cheeks, knowing exactly who you would choose.
“I would definitely go for Cavill, he’s the sexiest English teacher I have ever seen,” she says, imagining the thing he would do to her in her own mind, lust in her eyes.
“Gross,” Casey scoffs, “I’d probably go for Misses Brown, she is something else,” she says, “You like women?” Lilly asks shocked, “I came out to you in fifth grade, what the fuck?” Casey scoff at her best friend of twelve years.
“Sorry,” Lilly says sitting back against the wall, “y/n, you?” She then avoids her best friends hatful gaze, “uhh I don’t know,” you said, lying, completely lying, you have had the most sinful crush on your music teacher Mr Munson since you started at this shit whole University.
“Seriously, I thought you would’ve gone for Cavil too,” Lilly says a little disappointed, “I’m not really, into older men,” you lie, all you were into was older men.
It’s not like your crush on Munson was illegal, he was in his mid thirties and you were almost twenty one, so even if anything did happen, which you highly doubt it would, it wouldn’t be illegal or anything. Would it break every single school rule ever? yes. Would he loose his job? Yes. But, like you said, it would never happen.
“What about Munson? He’s kinda cute,” Casey says, you cheeks instantly flush a red, “oh god, the things I would let him do to me,” Lilly laughed, you gagged at her horniness trying to ignore the embarrassment.
And of course next lesson was music, you always had a certain excitement for music. Maybe it was because of your sexy teacher, or maybe it was because of the instruments.
You sat down in your regular seat, next to Lilly near the back. Your guitar standing next to you ready for whatever you needed to learn today, “right,” you heard that familiar, masculine, raspy voice of your teacher.
God did you live the hot weather recently, all he had been wearing were these tight white tank tops and low black jeans, his long shaggy hair either in a messy bun or down. “Fuck,” Lilly gasped, you couldn’t help but feel maybe a little bit of jealousy when Lilly stared at him with her hungry eyes.
“Gross,” you stated crossing your arms again, your eyebrows furrowed, and expression a little tensed, but that immediately went away when your teacher shot a smile at you, god his smile was so perfect.
“Y/n, good to have you back,” he said, you just smiled back at him nodding. You had only missed yesterday, it felt a little weird he stated your presence and not Micheal’s who had been gone a week.
You watched as he explain a project to the class, you could never really pay attention, especially when he took a second to take a sip of his water, his jawline showing off in the best ways, his muscles flexing. God you could just faint right then and there.
“So get into groups of, four and get on with it,” he said clapping his hands together, which took you out of your little trance, “wait, what?” You said turning to Lilly, “What?” She asked, “What are we doing?” You asked, “Did you not just listen to anything he said?” She asked, “No,” you said in a stutter, a little embarrassed, “God you always zone out in music,” she scoffs, “You have a thing for Munson,” she then says pointing a finger at you, you covered her mouth almost immediately, looking over to see if anyone had heard her.
“Are you fucking crazy Lil?” You asked, and she just couldn’t help but laugh, “Shut up,” you said hitting her, “God, your such a liar,” she said shaking her head, “Can you just tell me what we are doing?” You asked, “groups of four, choose a song to perform next week,” she said.
“Your with me, right?” You asked, “god no, you suck, sorry,” she said, “Lilly,” you said, “maybe you should ask Ed if he’ll give you some extra lessons,” she said winking at you before going off to another group.
You rolled your eyes, you knew she meant it in a sexual way. But you couldn’t help but think about it, tutoring? You did need it, you could never get the rhythm right.
You sighed as you walked over to your teacher sitting at his desk, “Mr Munson,” you called out walking up next to him, he looked up to you, his pretty brown eyes making your legs weak, and his lips that you just wanted to kiss.
“Call me Ed, you’d know that by now y/n,” he smiled, “Ed,” you then said shaking your head, “I was, I was just wondering something,” you started, “yeah?” He asked, god why was every word that came out of his mouth so, attractive.
“I suck at guitar, and your a great teacher, so I was- I was wondering, could I maybe just get some extra, lessons maybe, I can’t actually afford a out of school tutor right now,” you said in a little ramble, he looked a little unsure at first, but then nodded “of course,” he smiled at you, you could just scream.
“Ok cool,” you went to walk away, but realised you needed actual times, so you turned back around, “What days? And uh times?” You asked, “How about Wednesdays after school, and Friday lunches,” he suggested, you just nodded awkwardly, “Cool, good, yes,” you said putting a thumbs up and walking away.
“Woah, where are you going?” Lilly stopped you from walking off, “Music,” you said, you forgot you hadn’t told them. “Wh- why?” She asked confused, “well, I asked Ed for extra lessons, and he said yes,” you admitted, “You actually asked?” Lilly stated, “Yeah, I mean I do suck,” you stated, Lilly looked to Casey, exchanging a look, “What?” You questioned.
“You gonna fuck him?” Lilly said with a smirk, “what, god no!” You said, every-time her boldness always shocked you. “I would,” she said in a disappointed tone.
“It’s just lessons, oh my god,” you said, “yeah and who else does Munson give lessons to?” Caste then budded in a asked, “I- i don’t know,” you said trying to figure out someone but finding no one. “He wants you,” Lilly says tapping your shoulder, “I hate you more and more everyday,” you said shaking your head at her immaturity and walking away from her.
“Go get him tiger,” she laughed out, as you flipped her off walking away. Annoyed by her.
You lightly knocked on the door, seeing the incredibly beautiful teacher at his desk, this time in a tight blue shit and black ripped jeans, his hair still down, and muscles still flexed.
“Hey, come in,” he said, you walked in shutting the door behind you and walked up to a seat, which he immediately grabbed another and sat in front of you.
You grabbed out your guitar, you felt nervous. Why did you feel nervous, god it was just lessons, absolutely nothing was going to happen, especially not during school, someone could see you even if you tried, although, there weren’t actually windows besides the one at the door and that was shut.
“Ok so, what do you think you have trouble with?” He asked, leaning in closer to you. You stutter a little at first, anxious at how close he was, Lilly’s words running through your mind.
“I think it has to do with staying on beat, rhythm, and speed,” you admitted to him, “okay, that’s something that’s easy to work on, you don’t have any problems with coordination do you? That’s always a hard one to sort out,” he said with a smile, “No,” you said simply.
“Ok cool,” he said, scooting even closer, he made you place your guitar in your lap like usual. “It’s all about practice really, and sometimes even just listening to the song your learning over and over again, but more focusing on the beats, you know?” He says and you just nod, trying to not zone out like usual.
“So, should we pick a song for you to do?” He asked, “I guess,” you said, “what’s your type?” He asked. You. “Music type?” He then added, and you replied with, “Mainly rock, punk,” you stated, watching as a smile grows on his face.
“Me too,” he nods, a blush covering your cheeks as he looks at you. “Any bands?” He asks, “Nirvana, Sabbath, I guess are my mains,” you stated, “Ok, well, smells like teen spirits start is a good start off,” he suggested, and you immediately shake your head, you hated how much that song was played, it was a good song but not something you could listen to over and over again anymore, it’s more of a once a year song.
He chuckles at your immediate response, “So your a real nirvana fan,” he says, “You could say that,” you smile back at him, “Ok, In bloom, is that fine?” He asks, you nod.
You practice the chords to the song for a minute to two, getting them pretty easily. The rhythm was easy with this one since you knew the song pretty.
But there was this one chord you couldn’t quite get, no matter how much he explain, you couldn’t get it, it was embarrassing honestly, you really did try.
“Ok here,” he said standing up, he came up behind you, his arms reaching around to glide over yours, you heart beat picked up its pace almost immediately.
“Here. And here,” he said placing your fingers in the ring position, “enough pressure to make it sound not muffled, but not to much to where it hurts,” he says, his voice was right by your ear and you were honestly so close to just running out of that room.
You do as he says, his touch made your skin turn in the best ways. You could feel goosebumps, and your core start to throb, you felt so disgusting but, good at the same time.
“Ready,” he said, holding your hand over the strings, “close your eyes,” he whispered, you could feel his breath on your neck, it was warm and yet it sent shivers down your spine.
You closed your eyes and let the pic hit the strings, strumming the chord perfectly. “There you go,” he said placing his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it before sitting back down in front of you.
“You wanna try and do it in timing now?” He asks, you nod doing as he says. You did it a little slower than the actual time, but doing it pretty well, “Well all you really have to do now is practice those keys over and over again,” he smiled, god this wasn’t ending, you really didn’t want this to end.
“Do you have a group for the project yet?” He asked, “nope, Lilly ditched me,” you said. “That’s okay, I mean it’s not okay, but- you don’t have to do it, since your newer than the others to this,” he smiled, “thanks,” you said.
It went silent for a second, and your eyes took control, they couldn’t help but roam at your teachers posture, leaning over, his elbows resting on his knees, still taller than you.
You watched as he then stood up, stepping right in front of you. His groin was right in front of you, you felt his fingers glide under your chin: you swear you were dreaming.
“Your kind of a perv you know,” he says, you stay silent in embarrassment, and in shock. “I see you staring in class, all the time,” he states, and you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.
“I-,” you try to get words out but you can’t, everything about this was wrong, but making you so flustered you couldn’t breath almost. “It’s okay princess,” he said, god you could’ve melted at the pet name.
“I like it when pretty girls like you stare, especially you,” you watch as a smirk spreads across his lips, he leans down in a crotch position so you weren’t looking up at him. “Tell me,” he says, “what?” You managed to ask.
“Tell me what you think about when you stare,” he smirks. “Please,” he smiles, “i- fuck,” you said shaking your head not believing this is happening, looking down to the ground trying to comprehend the fact that Lilly was right.
His hand cups under your chin like before making you looking at him, “Tell me,” he said in slightly more demanding tone, which turned you on so very much.
“Depends,” you said, “depends on what?” He asks, “your wearing,” you say, “oh yeah?” He asks, “Tanks tops, I normally imagine ripping it off, straddling you in your chair, while you fuck my brains out,” you say, shyly but with other a stutter.
“I love imagining unbuckling your jeans, your leaned up on the wall while I suck you off,” you say another fantasy, “or, I’m on the wall and your the one giving me head,” you state.
“And, my personal favourite,” you smile seeing the way he’s dying on the inside, “bent over the desk, your hand over my mouth trying to keep me quiet as you slam into me, over, and over,” you say.
“You wanna make those fantasies a reality or keep it in that dirty little mind of yours,” he says, “making it a reality sounds nice,” you say, he nods agreeing with you, “yeah,” he says kissing you, you felt yourself fall completely apart then and there, honestly you wouldn’t care if anyone walked in, you just wanted him.
You felt his hands grip your hips pulling you up, legs wrapping around his waist. He placed you onto his desk, disconnected his lips from yours for a moment to lock the door, taking off his shirt on the way back over.
God, it was even better than you imagined. Your fingers trailed over his stomach, and then his chest, before coming back up to his neck and kissing him again.
“I don’t think you notice,” he breathed out as he kissed down your neck, “What?” You asked, trying to focus on something. “Me staring at you,” he admits, you smile at his words, feeling his hands glide under your top and lift it up and off of you. “Your my favourite student,” he says his fingers unclipping your bra, so effortlessly, so easily.
“Your my favourite teacher,” you say right after him, in which he laughs against your skin. Kissing over your chest, taking one of your breasts in, a gasp escaping your mouth as you feel the pleasure run over your chest.
“Y/n,” he says looking at you, you missed his lips on your skin already, “Hm?” You asked looking up at him, his eyes were so beautiful, “You cant tell anyone, not even your best friend,” he said, you had to be stupid to tell Lilly this, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, especially not about this, and Casey would definitely tell the blabber mouth anyways, “our little secret,” you said, watching a smirk form across his lips for the hundredth time.
“Good girl,” he said, you couldn’t help but whine at the pet name, loving it already. “You like that?” He asked looking back into your eyes, you bit your lip nodding, leaning into the hand he had on your neck, kissing down your chest once again.
“Sir,” you called out, he immediately stood right up at the name, smiling at your words. “Yeah princess?” He said, “Can I,” you gulped taking in another breath, “Can you?” He asked tilting his head a little forward furrowing his eyebrows.
You eyes looked down to his crotch area and he smile as you got what you were trying to say, “go ahead,” he said, your hands immediately went around his belt and you fell off from the desk onto your knees, pulling down his jeans and boxers, his length popping straight.
God, he was twice as big as you imagined. You were honestly intimidated by it, but you wrapped your hand around the lower half and licked a stripe up to the tip, hearing a soft moan escape from his lips.
“Good, good,” he whispered, his hand falling on your head, wrapping his fingers in your hair, you took a deep breath in before shoving him in your mouth, taking most of him in, just as much as you could, which was more than enough. You went slow for a second, feeling his tip hit the very back of your throat, but you got use to it after a couple times, and your pace got faster, bobbing your head back and forth, loving the sounds that were escaping his mouth.
“Ah fuck,” he said, you could feel his grip on your hair tighten, but you didn’t care, you loved this so much, “ok, ok,” you heard him say, pulling your head off his cock and making you stand up, “your so good,” he smiled kissing you harshly.
He twirled you around and bent you over his desk, sliding your pants and panties down your legs, his hands sliding over your ass to your hips, you could feel his tip at your entrance, “You okay love?” He asked, you whined out a yes, “hurry,” you managed to get out, feeling so needy you could die.
“So needy,” he said gripping tightly on your hips before slowly entering you, neither of you cared for a condom at this point, “oh god,” your hands wrapped around the edges of the desk, knuckles must’ve been turning white at how harsh you were gripping it, feeling his length slide in and out of you slowly, everytime speeding up a bit, but he was going way to slow for your liking.
“Your not living up to my fantasy sir,” you spoke, “oh no?“ he questioned, “What do I have to do then?” He asked, “just, don’t hold back,” you said with a smile, “you asked princess,” he said, before slamming into you harshly.
“Fuck!” You screamed out, feeling his hand then come around to your mouth covering it, lifting you up so your back was against him but he could still fuck you.
“Shhh princess,” he said kissing your neck before slamming into you again, his thrusts some how getting harder and harsher by the second. Your muffled moans wouldn’t stop, the feeling was painful in the best ways, but mostly pleasurable.
“You like sneaking ‘round don’t you?” He asked, “I didn’t take you for such a whore y/n,” he said, god was he good with his words. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit your g-spot, “there?” He asked hitting the same spot, you nod. He let you fall back onto the desk, his hand was still around your mouth and the other was in your hip, you didn’t know how he was doing it but he was.
You whined as he continued to hit the same spot over and over again, harder and rougher, every time he hit it was more pleasurable than the last. “Fuck,” he groaned out, “you close princess?” He asked, you nodded as you felt the knot in your stomach build and build.
Your nails were digging into the desk as you felt your climax wash over you, the best orgasms you had ever had, you could see stars. Your vision became blurry as you arched your back and came all over him.
“That’s a good girl,” he said removing his hand from your mouth, only hearing harsh breaths escape from you, he slowly pulled out of you, you didn’t even realise he came inside of you, but he did, you were on the pill so you had absolutely no problem with it.
You felt him pull up your pants you forgot he removed, you slowly stood back up, turning around to see him pulling up his own pants. You felt a little bit of fear that this might’ve just been a one time thing, he looked up to you after unbuckling his jeans smiling as he kissed your soft lips, “get dressed, lunch is almost over,” he said winking at you.
“Ed,” you called out as he grabbed his shirt, “This isn’t a one time thing, is it?” You asked a little nervous, “No, no, no,” he shook his head, walking up to you again, his shirt falling back over his chest.
“Maybe we should try a date, out of town,” he smiled at you, you felt a little fuzzy at the words, but happy about it, putting your bra and shirt back on, “I’ll pick you up at seven, Friday night?” He asked, you nod biting your lip, about to turn around to leave, but before you could he grabbed your wrist kissing you one last time, “Fix yourself up before you leave,”.
Synopsis; the Winchester boys never new of Bobby Singers daughter, and definitely didn’t know about her abilities
Warnings; blood and gore, thats really it, tell me if I missed anything <3
words; 4K
Your heart was racing as you stepped around the corner, hoping to not find another dead body.
As you tightly gripped onto the pistol in your hand, and stepped down the dark hallway. Hearing noises just around the corner, "fuck," you groaned as you heard two male voices, 'please don't be the cops' you thought to yourself as you saw flashlights.
You hid behind a post so the two guys wouldn't see you as they walked past, unless they were to turn down that hallway. Which you were really hoping they didn't.
"Seriously Dean," one of the guys groaned, "What?" Another voice scoffed, "stop touching me, seriously," he said with a huff, "I'm not," the other boy said with a confused tone. For a second you heard silence and then a gunshot, and a thud.
You peaked around the corner to see two very handsome looking faces on the ground, and one very angry spirit about to attack them, and both of their guns being across the floor.
You quickly walked out from where you were standing and shot at the spirit, it instantly disappearing. You looked down at the boys who were just getting up, brushing off the dust they had collected.
"Thanks," the taller one said, while the other one grunted in a thank you, both of there faces a little shocked. "yeah," you said nodding with a huffed tone. "I'm assuming you guys are hunters?" You said as you picked up one of the guns and handed it too the blonde guy.
"Yeah," The taller one said with a smile, "I'm Sam," the brunette one then said, "Dean," the shorter one added, giving you a "seductive" smirk, that you were not interested in in the slightest bit.
"Y/n," you smiled at them, "What's a pretty girl like you doing hunting by herself," Dean asked stepping closer, "uhm, I prefer working alone," you said, furrowed eyebrows, a small disgusted look on your face.
"Sorry," Sam said pushing Dean back, Dean grunting at his brother, "Uh, do you know anything about this Gerard guy yet?" Sam asked intrigued, "A little, why?" You said, "Well, we just got here and all we really know is the name, mind informing us?" He asked nicely, you immediately started to like the taller one better as he wasn't a dick.
"Well, I know he was an ex army man, his wife died back in 1986 and a year later the guy's son died of cancer, so then Gerard blew his own head off," you said, "I don't think Gerard is the one we have to worry about though, it's Mary, the wife, she was the murdered one, at first I thought they were just protecting their home, but it looks like Mary is some how, keeping Gerard from crossing over because she doesn't want to," you then said, a but more than a little information, you knew they were going to ask how you picked that up, and so you tried to figure out a story to tell them instead of saying you can talk to the ghosts straight up.
"How do you know this?" Dean stepped forwards asking, "I just do," you then said, you didn't have to explain yourself to them, "you just do? How are we supposed to believe that?" Dean asked, "You don't have to, I'm just telling you what he told me," you accidentally said. Furrowing your eyebrows in a disappointed look as you said that.
"Who?" Sam asked, "nothing, anyways, good luck boys," you said smiling at the two of them. Not wanting to be there much longer, trusting in them to get the case done by themselves, they seemed to be trained enough, and if they didn't by tomorrow you would handle it another time.
You didn't stay in a motel that night, you decided to drive back to South Dakota wanting to see your dad since you were so close to the area.
As you parked in the drive way, looking at your old home. Smiling at the few happy memories you had there, you stepped up knocking on the door, excited to see your dad Bobby for the first time in a few months.
You heard the door unlock, and then a smile on the old man's face when he saw you. "Y/n/n," he smiled, "hey dad," you smiled back giving him a big hug, feeling his embrace again was something you needed.
"What are you doing here?" He asked as he brought a cup of your favourite tea to you, "I was in the area, and I wanted to see my old man," you smiled, "I'm not that old," he groaned sitting down in his chair.
"You called the other day and you were in Utah?" He asked in a question tone, "Yeah, well this Gerard guy was calling to me in Nebraska, "human?" You dad questioned and you shook your head, "no, I feel bad for the guy, some hunter guys got in my way when I was doing the job, and you know me when I'm interrupted," you sighed, "I'm just hoping they help him," you sighed.
That night you had a really good sleep in your old bedroom, that your dad had never changed. Your old teenage band posters on the walls, your favourite little trinkets from a few of your first hunts around. It was nostalgic and calming, you loved the feeling of being home.
You walked downstairs that morning, your pjs hung low with a tight top on. You hair a little messy from sleeping, and craving a coffee.
"Y/n," you heard you dad called, "hmm," you hummed out loud from the kitchen, "come here," he said, you stopped making the coffee you wanted so badly and walked into the main living area.
Seeing your dad with a happy look on his face, and "Sam? Dean?" You questioned seeing the two tall boys from the other night standing there, a little beat up.
"You know them?" You dad questioned, "no, I mean they were hunters from the other night," you said shaking your head, "you know them?" I asked.
"There John's kids sweetie," he said, "Winchester?" I questioned, shocked at how much they had grown up. "Your kidding," you then laugh; a faint memory of when you were five, seeing the Sam boy and older Dean kid in a small hotel room with there father.
"Your Bobby's daughter?" Dean asked, "No I'm his mother," you said sarcastically, "you ran off last night?" Sam questioned, "I figured you guys could do it on your own," you said. "Y/n doesn't like being interrupted," Bobby said crossing his arms at you.
You watched as both the brothers were checking you out, enjoying the look from the taller one and not from the shorter one. You shook your head ignoring it, "Did you finish it?" You then asked, "Yeah, we ended up finding Mary's bones and she's gone," Dean said, and as he said that, the talking started.
But it was louder than usual, and more in a panic. You squinted your eyes, in pain from how loud it was getting. A young male voice, screeching for help, loud clanking in the back ground, you felt your knees hit the ground, and your nose start to bleed.
"Shit," Bobby said, he wasn't exactly use to these. You learned to control the pain over the years but they were normally quiet whispers and not this loud.
You felt yourself wake up, and you weren't home. In fact you were back in that sketchy old house in Nebraska, you felt scared. You hadn't heard a POV vision in years, or at-least you hoped it was a POV vision. You heard echoey crying coming from down the hall, and dark laughter from the same side.
"PLEASE STOP, PLEASE NO!" Screamed a young male voice, you slowly walked down the hallway. Seeing a room with the door slightly open and light leaking out, where the screaming was coming from.
You stepped in front of the door as it slowly opened, seeing the Gerard kids son chained against the wall, all bloody and hurt. "HELP ME!" the boy screamed when he saw you, you watched a guy turn around and it was Gerard, he was torturing his own son?
You then heard Gerard scream and come towards you, and that's when you came flying up. A breath of air escaping in a panic, you felt sweaty and gross.
"Hey hey hey," you heard your dads voice from beside you, handing you a glass of water. "you okay?" He asked, your breath started to slow down a bit, as you took the water and felt it run down your throat.
"How long was I out?" You asked, "only two hours this time," he said. The last time you had an episode like this you were out for two whole days, "I need to go back," you then said ripping the blanket off you, "back where?" Bobby then asked holding your shoulder so you wouldn't stand up, you looked to the door seeing the two brothers walk in concerned.
"Nebraska," you said, looking at the two boys. "It's not just Mary," you said, "Gerard, he, he was torturing his son, he's keeping his son there, Mary wasn't the problem she was warning us, she was protecting us," you said, "what?" Dean asked stepping forward, "did you not just hear what I said?" I asked annoyed at him already.
"No I'm hearing you, I just wanna know how you know that," he said, you looked to your father and then back to the boys.
"I can speak to spirits, from states away, they call to me," you said, "it's something my mother had, and now I have, but, I haven't passed out like that, or heard anything that bad in years," you said, still feeling the headache.
"Which means this is a very powerful spirit, when the son was calling to me, I think Gerard was blocking it by this clanking and screeching noise, it was horrible," I say, "You ok?" Your dad asked again, "yeah, i need to help him," you then said standing up, "Woah woah, your not dealing with something like that alone, you've already been hurt by the damn thing," you dad stated, "I'll be okay dad," you said.
"Sam and Dean are going with you," he said, "We are?" Dean asked, "We are," Sam said straight after in a 'I'm not asking you' tone.
"No your not, I don't work with other people," you said, "Y/n/n, these boys can handle themselves," he said, "I don't want their blood on my hands dad, I'm not going through that again," you said, looking back on your best friend, who died in action trying to save you.
"Y/n we can handle this," Sam said from behind you, "Dad," you said in a pleading tone, "Their going with you, or their gonna go alone," he said, you felt fear fill you, not wanting another hunters death to be on your hands.
"You annoy the crap out of me sometimes dad," you said before getting up to get changed, feeling the two boys eyes on you as you walked out of the small room.
As you drove, you couldn't stop thinking, about the boy, what was his name? Why was Gerard doing that to his own son.
Your thoughts were then interrupted by your radio freaking out, there it was. The clanking, and the calling for help, you kept hearing it get louder and louder, Dean and Sam driving behind you watched as you pulled your car over, stepping out and falling to the ground.
You felt your head splitting, "what do you want?" You asked, "help me!" You heard again, before it went completely silent.
"Y/n?" Dean called running up to you, Sam by his side as they helped you up. "I'm fine," you said pushing off the blonde boy, you looked at the boys who were looking at you like you were a ghost or something.
"Y/n," Sam said, "what?" You asked, watching as they pointed behind you, as you turned around you saw him, the boy. He was bloody and beaten, he disappeared and then re appeared in front of you, "Darren," he then said before disappearing.
"Darren?" Dean questioned, "You saw that?" You asked them, "Yeah," Sam sighed, "I don't think you should drive anymore," Dean said, "Don't be ridiculous," you said, "He's right
y/n," Sam then said, you looked at the both of them, concern in their eyes.
"What ever, who's driving my car?" I asked, Dean gave Sam a look before Sam sat in the front seat of your car. "Don't have to much fun," Dean said with a smile, i scoffed at him sitting next to Sam, rubbing the sides of my temples to try and get rid of this headache.
"You need anything?" Sam asked, you could tell he was the more thoughtful one, you could see Dean cared just, didn't show it, Sam showed it. "I'm good," you said breathing in, taking a sip of your water.
"I can't believe your Bobby's daughter, he never told us he had a daughter," he said, "he doesn't like me being near other hunters, but I guess the winchester family was different," you said shaking your head, "He kept you hidden well," Sam said, "I kept myself hidden well, I wasn't too fond of hunting when I was little and I hated other hunters, I use to tell my dad to not tell anyone about me, and he never did, besides John of course," you said.
"I'm sorry about him by the way, I know he wasn't father of the year but, I'm still sorry," you said, "so Bobby does tell you everything," he laughed, "well when I'm on my hunting trips he does," you smiled, you definitely felt a weird sort of connection with Sam, you felt safe around him, at ease, like you could let your guard down around him and he'd be there.
"You know it really does make sense now," you said to Sam, "Mary didn't mean to kill those people, she was trying to protect them, she was trying to protect her son from Gerard," you stated, "God how can a father do that to his own son," you groaned.
"It's horrible," Sam said, "I know,".
When you arrive back at the place, you immediately felt that the energy was different. It was darker, sadder, more disturbing.
"Is it just me or has this place gotten creepier," Dean says looking up at the building, "Well, Mary isn't here to protect it anymore, so Gerard turned it," Sam said, you sighed as the three of you walked in.
You did some research on the way here after Sam took over, Gerard was cremated, which means something of his is around here somewhere, and the reason Darren was still here is because Gerard attached himself to the poor kid, he won't be able to cross over until Gerard does.
"Right you two stay here I'll go upstairs," Dean says, "It'll be easier if we all split," you suggest, "Yeah and what's gonna happen if you have another vision thing?" Dean asks, you roll your eyes at him, you weren't mad about going with Sam but, you hated being treated like a child.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, what happened with you, other partner?" Sam asked as you both walked through the building, "What?" You asked, "You don't have to talk about it," he says, "no, it's ok, I just," you sighed, "My best friend, or my boyfriend, whatever you wanna call it, we were on this case together, and he saved my life but, when he saved my life he ended his own," you said trying to swallow back the tears from the horrible memory.
You sam walked around for a few minutes longer, he told you about his girlfriend Jess, and how he got her killed, even though it really didn't sound like his fault, you understood what he meant.
When you went to say something, you felt something grab your leg. "Sam," you said, looking to him, he was standing right next to you, he stopped and looked at you, you looked down to see a faint hand around your ankle, and then felt yourself being pulled, falling to the ground and dragged away, you screamed as you watched Sam chase after you, but you were pulled around a corner and smacked your head way to hard knocking yourself out.
You didn't know how long it had been, but you slowly started to open your eyes, head thumping as usual, and body in pain. "Sam?" You called out immediately, "oh nobody's going to hear you beautiful," you heard a disgusting old male voice, you started to cry as you turned your head to see Gerard, old and gross.
"What do you want?" You asked, trying to compose yourself. "Company," he said, "Let me go," you said trying to wriggle out of the chains you were in.
He darkly chuckled at your comment, "your funny sweetheart," he said, walking over to you. God it smelt horrible, "Your mine now," he smiled at you, teeth rotted and gross, eyes white yet dark.
"Sam!" "Dean!" You called out at the top of your lungs, "nobody's gonna hear you," he said, "we are to far down," he said, "What are you doing?" You asked as he took a knife, dragging it over your face, "I want to see you bleed," he smiles, you felt sick to your stomach, as a sharp paint spread across your arm, watching as he cut a line down your right forearm.
What felt like hours later, you were week. Gerard had cut your arms and you were most likely bleeding out, your arms looked like they were turned inside out, as you started to loose hope one last idea popped into your mind.
Sams pov
"Where is she?" I asked worried, I was so scared. "For fuck sake!" I yelled kicking in a wall, Dean trying to comfort me but it wasn't going to work.
"We'll find her," Dean said as we walked down the halls, trying to find anything. As I turned a corner, a piercing headache came to me. "Sam," I heard from behind me, but I couldn't hear him after a few seconds.
It was like a scratching noise, like nails on a chalk board. Then it went silent, I looked up and I saw y/n. "y/n," I ran up to her, she looked horrible, she looked so tired, but there wasn't a single drop of blood on her.
"Sam, basement," she said, "Down, underneath," she spoke, "I'm underneath," she says then looking up, I look up to see a familiar symbol, "help me," she then says before I feel myself came back to it.
"Sam," I hear deans voice, "I know where she is," I said before jumping up, she was at Gerard's grave, he was buried in the local cemetery, and his headstone had that same symbol, that symbol was also on a building we drove past in town.
Readers POV
Sam and Dean immediately broke into the building, not caring to be caught by anyone unless they were cops.
“Y/n!” Dean called out, bad idea. Because he was thrown against the wall, Gerard appeared in front of them, immediately attacking them.
You slowly came back to consciousness, you looked down to your arms and they were completely normal, he must’ve done a mind trick because you almost immediately started to feel stronger.
You looked around in a panic not seeing him, you struggled but you managed to wriggle out of the chains he had put you in, you felt weak but strong enough to get the holy hell out of there, but before you could you looked around for Darren.
“Darren,” you called out in your mind, and you felt him call you, down the dark hall you walked in when you first saw him.
Except this time he wasn’t screaming, you ran down and saw the boy chained up, he wasn’t alive but he was still in pain, “Help me,” he whimpered, you knew getting him out the chains wouldn’t do anything, Gerard was attached to me.
“Darren, I need you to help me,” you said, he looked at you, tears in his eyes, he looked so tired, “Is there anything of Gerard’s, anything of his former body that he keeps?” You asked, he whined shaking his head, “Darren I need you to think, it’s the only way I can help you,” you said, trying to ignore the headache that was pulsing throughout your head.
“Down the hall, in a green box, he keeps his hand, he got it cut off so he could have a knife hand,” he said in parts, struggling to get the words out, “That’s fucked up,” you said, “I’m gonna get you out, I promise,” you say before running out of there, to the only room down the end of the hall.
You rushed in there, the stench was eye watering, you felt like you could pass out. You felt for the lighter in your pocket as you noticed the green box he was talking about, you took it, opening it, seeing a rotten hand, maggots eating at it,”.
You brought the lighter to the hand, “bye sucker,” you said as you watched the hand burn, and you felt your headache start to lift.
You put the hand in the bin letting it burn, as you turned around you saw Darren. “Thank you,” he said before disappearing. You smiled to yourself, feeling proud.
You still felt a little dizzy, but you began to find your way out of there. As you climbed up a ladder, you looked around to see a very trashed building, you looked to see Sam and Dean standing up, groaning.
“Y/n,” Sam said with a smile, “That’s the second time I saved your life,” you said with a smile, walking up to the two boys. You watched Sam walk up to you giving you a hug, you smiled as you hugged the tall guy back. Feeling that connection with him.
“I’m glad your ok,” he said nodding, he looked down on you like he wanted to kiss you, and you knew he was thinking it, “your welcome,” you said noticing there wasn’t a thank you yet, he went to go say thank you but you kissed him before he could, “your welcome,” you said in a less sarcastic tone, “Do I get one now?” Dean interrupts the kiss.
“Dick,” Sam says, you smile at him. Before walking out with the two boys, “Where are you heading now?” Sam asked you as you stood by your car, “South Dakota, probably stay with my dad for a week before heading off somewhere,” you said with a smile, “you give us a call if you ever need anything,” Sam says handing you his number, “Got it,” you smiled, handing him a note with yours, “you give me a call when you need me to save your ass again,” you smiled.
He laughed, before leaning down giving you another kiss. This time more passionate, a little more adoring and needy. “I’ll see you Sam,” you smiled, “see you,” he said as you got into your car; and drove off.
That whole car ride Sam was the only person on your mind, in-fact for the next month Sam was intoxicating your mind, like a virus that wouldn’t go away, you couldn’t tell if you just really liked him, or if something was up, but the second you left him, you had already planned that you were going to see him again, thought about what you were going to say, and fantasised what you would do with him.
WARNINGS: smutty smut smut, Public sex?, not proof read, p in v, oral (f receives), pet name? (Princess), hand kink?
Word count; 3k
Season 2 x Episode 6 setting
Summary ; you have been in love with Sam for awhile now, you try to avoid him but that just makes it harder.
"Your not working it, that's final!" Ellen shouted at her daughter, you standing next to Dean & Sam awkwardly waiting for them to noticed you guys had walked in.
Some random tourists walking in, "Howdy, are you guys open?" The dad asks, "No!" "Yes!" Jo and her mother both say in sink. They also stand there awkwardly for a moment before leaving.
"Now just put that away!" Ellen says, "no I want to know what they think about it," Jo says holding a folder, before Ellen's mother could do anything the phone started ringing, and Ellen scoffed going to the phone.
"Three weeks ago a young girls disappears from a Philadelphia apartment," Jo walks up to Dean shoving the folder at him.
"Take it, it won't bite," she says, "No but your mom might," Dean says not looking down to the folder, but she stays holding out the folder to him giving him a needy look for him to take it from her.
He rolls his eyes and takes the thing, opening it and up and looking through the pages.
"And this girl wasn't the first. Over the past eighty years six women have vanished. All from the same building, all young blondes. Only happens every decade or two so cops never eyeball the pattern. So we're either dealing with one very old serial killer, or-,"
"Who put this together, Ash?" You ask stepping forward to look at it, "I did," she says, Dean hums in an impressed tone, looking through the sources of information.
"I gotta admit, We hit the road for a lot less," Sam says also looking at it, You nod agreeing with him.
"Good. You like the case so much, you take it," Ellen says stepping forward, "Mom!" Jo says in an annoyed tone. "Joanna Beth, this family has lost enough. And I won't lose you too. I just won't," she says in a stern yet, concerned tone.
You left with the two boys, heading to the location of the apartment. You have been hunting with Sam and Dean ever since they ran into you when they went back to Lawrence, finding out that the demon they were hunting took your mother after your brother was born. And of course you wanted in on it.
You were always close with Sam & Dean, Although Sam is your age group, Dean and you connected more as friends, and he became one of your closest. Until he suddenly ghosted you, not wanting anyone but his dad in his life I guess. And, well the reason you and Sam split apart was because you kind to ghosted him, after finding out your feelings for him you were scared, way to scared to admit them to him for no reason, so you stopped talking to him completely, but now, that's in the past, not the feelings part, the ghosting part.
As you all walked into the apartment Sam said "I feel kind of bad, snaking Jo's case,"
"Yeah, maybe she put together a good file. But could you see her out here working one of these things? I don't think so," he says holding the EMF reading around the apartment.
"Yeah, It would be way to dangerous for her to work a case just yet," You also holding the EMF reader around the room.
"Anything?" You then ask the two boys, both of them shaking there heads and responding with a No. before Sam runs his over the light switch and it purrs.
You and Dean both turn your heads to look at him, walking over to see what was there. "What is that?" Sam asks, "What?" You and Dean question at the same time asking Sam what he's seeing, watching as he pokes at a black goo that was on the light switch.
"Holy crap!" Sam says, Dean moves you over to touch it himself, "That's ectoplasm. Well, Sam, I think I know what we're dealing with here. It's the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man," you laugh a little at his humour, why did his stupid humour always get you?
Sam rolls his eyes, leaning back up straight, "Dean, I've only seen this stuff, like, twice. I mean, to make this stuff you have to be one majorly pissed off spirit," he says in a serious tone, almost worried.
"All right, let's find this badass before he snags any more girls," Dean say, you all exit the apartment, walking down the halls.
As you were about to turn a corner you hear voices, all three of you back up against a wall, knowing you could be seen but thinking you couldn't be.
You watch Deans expressions frown as he hears familiarity in the voice that was around the corner; and so did you. Jo?
"It's so convenient," she smiles next to what looked like a landlord, "Yeah, it's a great building, fixed it up real nice. All the apartments come furnished, too," he says advertising his building.
"It is so spacious. You know, my friend told me I absolutely have to come check it out, and I have to admit, she was right. You did a really good job with this place," she acts like the happiest person in the world.
Dean steps out from behind the small wall we were behind, "What the hell are you doing here?" He asks stepping close to the girl, but instead of a shocked reaction she smiled wider, "There you are, honey," she smiled, wrapping her arm around his waist. You and Sam exchanging weird looks.
"This is my boyfriend Dean, and his Brother Sam, and Sam's girlfriend Y/n," she smiled, you immediately feel a heat come to your cheeks, and your heart skip a beat at the words.
The landlord looks at the both of you, slightly furrowing his eyebrows. Before Sam grabbed you by the waist pulling you in closer to make you guys seem like a couple, playing it off as cool as you could you just smiled leaning into him, his scent intoxicated you, and you knew your face was bright red.
"Good to meetcha. Quite a gal you've got here," he then says to Dean, a smile on his face shaking Deans hand.
But all you could think about was Sam's hand on your waist, and how you wanted both of his hands all over you. Doing things you never thought you would do.
You watched as Dean talked to the landlord, but you really couldn't pay attention. Sam's hand kept moving up and down your waist, like he was trying to tease you or something.
You felt so vulnerable, and your emotions were so overpowering you right now. You tried to calm your breath down, you slowly brought yourself back to reality just in time, watching as Jo handing the Landlord a stack of cash saying that you guys would take it.
You felt Sam's hand leave your waist, and you already missed it. But you brushed your hand through your hair to try and get some sense into you before following the others into the apartment you were just in.
You sat on the chair as quiet as you could be, honestly to scared to talk. Your feelings for Sam have been dormant lately, mainly because you haven't touched him, or been to close with him for a month now, but that was so close, too close for your liking.
You stood up as they talked, heading to your bag to chug the bottle of water you had in there. Trying to distract yourself from the thoughts of Sam, and the things you wanted him to do to you, the places you want his hands to touch.
"This place was built in 1924. It was originally a warehouse, converted into apartments a few months ago," you heard Jo speak. You leaned on the wall looking over to all of them, not even glancing at Sam.
"Yeah? What was here before 1924," Dean asks, pacing from side to side of the room. "Nothing. Empty field," Jo says shaking her head.
"So, most likely scenario, someone died bloody in the building, and now he's back and raising hell," Sam says.
"I already checked. In the past eighty two years, zero violent deaths. Unless you count a janitor who slipped on a wet floor," she says fiddling with a knife.
"will you sit down?" No turns to Dean, he gives her a dirty look before sitting down. "So, have you checked police reports, county death records?" He asks.
"Obituaries, mortuary reports and seven other sources. I know what I'm doing," she says, offended of how stupid he thinks she is.
"I think the jury's still out on that one. Could you put the knife down?" Dean asks, she rolls her eyes but does as asked. You could feel some sort of tension between the two of them, you couldn't tell if it was sexual or not, but there was something.
"Okay! So, uh, it's something else, then. Maybe some kind of cursed object that brought a spirit with it," you then say stepping in, "Well, we've got to scan the whole building. Everywhere we can get to, right," Jo then says.
"Right. So. You and me, we'll take the top two floors. Summer and Sam on the two bottom," Dean states, for fuck sake, you think to yourself, "We'd move faster if we split up," she states, "this isn't negotiable."
You walk with Sam down to the first floor, EMF in hand scanning down the walls. Keeping your distance from the tall brunette boy, who you were constantly thinking about in these moments.
"What do you think it is?" He asks, waving his EMF around. "Honestly, have no idea," you shake your head, "Yeah, me neither," he says with a sigh.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks a few seconds later, you turn to him with furrowed eyebrows, a confused expression on your face. "it's just, your never usually this quiet," he says, "oh," you say, that's all you said.
"Oh? Is there something wrong," he then asks stopping, you turn back to look at him. why does everything he do have to look so perfect you thought, "No," you say, god you were not being a good actress right now.
"You know I don't believe that for a second right," he says, you don't say anything to that, you just turn around and continue to scan, god get yourself together, he had his hand your waist for a minute and now all of sudden your back to your 15 year old self, obsessed and in love with the guy.
"You getting anything?" You then ask after a few seconds of silence, "Nope," he said with a sigh, "Should we go find Dean?" You asks, "Not before you tell me what's up," he said, you just look at him blankly with that comment.
"Seriously y/n," he says in such a soft, and sweet voice. You felt your heart begin to race as fast as it possibly could as he stepped closer, he was looking at you like you were going to break or something, and you couldn't handle it.
You weren't thinking, actually all you were doing was thinking, about Sam and his lips, his hands. You didn't even realise until it was to late that you were kissing him, you quickly pulled away shocked at yourself, anxiety washing over you immediately.
"Fuck," was what you said standing there like a complete idiot, "Wha-" he seemed so shocked, and speechless. You were waiting for a sympathetic rejection, but instead you got "why'd you do that?" And not in a grossed out tone, seemed like he was genuinely asking.
"I- I uhm," you said just staring at him, not knowing what to say. "Y/n?" He questioned, he seemed concerned, your feelings for him got stronger by the second, and suddenly you really couldn't hold them in any longer.
"God Sam, I've loved you since we were fifteen," you sighed, like the biggest boulder just rolled off your shoulder.
"And I can't get you out of my mind, especially when your so close, or when you touch me, god Sam, it's so annoying and," you sigh, "embarrassing," you then say realising what you had just admitted, knowing things would never ever go back to how they were.
"Embarrassing? How is it embarrassing?” He asks stepping towards you, you look up to him. He looked happy, “I- because you don’t feel the same,” you state.
“How do you know how I feel when you’ve never even asked?” He asks you, you think about it for a second and he was right.
“How do you feel then?” You asked, a little bit nervous to ask but proceeding with it anyway. He stepped closer so he was looking right down on you, “I’ll show you,” he says, his hand cupping your cheek, god his hands were so big, his lips fell onto yours, and you immediately kissed back with out a second thought.
You felt yourself being pushed up against the wall, one of Sam’s hand running under your thigh and lifting it up. Your cores rubbing against each other, made your head spin.
“Sam,” you pant out, as your eye caught the sight of a small room, he looked behind to see it as well, before turning and smiling at you, picking you up and carrying you into the room, it was a small storage closet, but neither of you cared one bit.
Sam slammed you up against the door to close it, kissing your lips with everything he had. His hands roamed around your body, touching you in all the places you need at the time, like he could read your mind.
You felt his fingers dig under your shirt, slowly lifting it up and over your head, then reaching around your back to unclasp your bra, which he did do after a few times, but the heat of the moment was just so aggressive.
His hands and lips were all you could think about, your own hands were running through his hair, as you legs were wrapped around his waist, his weight leaning on you enough to keep you up against the door.
“Sammy,” you called out in a hushed tone, “hmm?” He hummed as his lips kissed across your neck, leaving spots and marks wherever he could.
“I need you,” you managed to get out in a stutter, “hmm,” he hummed, “where?” He then added to that, “You know damn well where Sammy,” you then snapped, “hmm I’m gonna need words princess,” he said, princess? Oh god, you might as well just die.
“Down there Sammy, please, do anything,” you begged him, he smiled moving slightly back so your legs would fall from his waist, planting yourself back on the ground.
You watched as he fell to his knees, his hands running over your jeans, unbuttoning them, unzipping them, and then pushing them down your legs, your panties following along with them.
He didn’t waste another second before his lips connected with your core, you flung your head back, hitting it against the door, “oh fuck,” you said gripping his hair as he made out with your core, licking and sucking in all the right places.
His hands moved over your hips, your waist. “Fuck oh god,” you whined, feeling so much pleasure wash over you.
One of his hands slowly came down to touch your clit, circling it a few times before he ran it through your slit, sending a shiver through your entire body, your moans filled the small space up completely.
Seconds later his finger entered you, pushing in and out at a slowly pace. Before adding a second and speeding up, his mouth connected with your clit once again and you couldn’t have felt more pleasure in that moment.
“Yes, Yes,” you said as he hit your g-spot, “there?” He asked, hitting it again you moaned out a “fuck,”.
He sped up his face and you felt your climax build, and build. “I’m gonna cum,” you stated in a breath, and with that Sam pulled out his finger, and stood up.
You whimpered at his actions, “come here,” he said lifting you up, you didn’t even realise he had removed his pants, until his tip ran over your clit.
“Can I?” He asked teasing your entrance, “please Sammy,” you whined, and then felt him enter you.
You thought he had gotten all the way in at one point, but then he just had more to add. He was way bigger than you expected, and way thicker, for a moment you didn’t think you could handle it.
“You okay,” he asked, you sucked in a breath and nodded. You connected your lips back with his to distract yourself for a moment, “Ready?” He asked, waiting for a yes.
“Mhm,” you hummed a yes, feeling him start to move now. God, the mix of pain and pleasure filled you, mainly pleasure. And then it soon turned into only pleasure.
As his pace quickened your moans got louder, “Fuck Sam!” You screamed, and then felt his hand slap over your mouth, “shhh,” he said kissing up your neck.
“Sam,” you hummed out underneath his hand, as you did he removed his hand from your mouth, and faced you. “I’m gonna-,” you panted, and he nodded “me too,” he said getting ready to pull out.
“Don’t pull out,” you stuttered out as you felt him slam into you, “No?” He asked, “No, cum in me Sam, please,” you whined, and he really couldn’t refuse you, his hands gripped your waist even tighter.
Slamming into you even harder, and with one last thrust you felt yourself collapse. “Oh god,” you breathed out as you came on him, your head resting on his shoulder.
“Your so beautiful y/n,” you heard him say, you smiled at his words, slowly placing yourself back on the ground, it took you a second to snap back to reality.
You put your clothes back on, and so did Sam. But you didn’t leave just yet, “Sam,” you said as you placed your shirt back over you, he looked to you, “This wasn’t a hook up, was it?” You questioned, “No, this isn’t over,” he said walking up to you, kissing you passionately.
Synopsis: Rafe finds a love letter at his door, little does he know who it’s from.
Parings: college!soft!rafe x shy!dork!reader
You thought it was cheesy, honestly. But it was the only way you truly could feel free from the pain that love portrayed. As you wrote the poetic words on the thin sheet of paper, explaining how to felt about the hockey player Rafe Cameron.
You felt the brick on your shoulder become lighter, you’ve been in love with him ever since you started University. Which was two years ago, and only a few months ago did you start writing these letters, encouraged by your best friend Lily, (and also by your therapist).
You never actually sent them, or hid them in his lockers. Until the other day you found one missing.
“I cant find it anyways Lily!” You exclaimed, freaking out. Thinking about the worst possible outcomes of this situation, what if someone broke into your dorm and found it? What if they sent it? What if a gust of wind blew it out the window!
“Lily why aren’t you helping me?!” You asked in a panicked breath, “I- because, it’s fun watching you squirm around,” she said with a small laugh, but you could tell she’s lying. Like a a lot of people, she looks away when she lies, and that’s what she was doing right then and there. “Lilly,” you questioned her, stepping closer, getting suspicious. You knew she would never send one out, or you hoped.
“Ok fine! I sent one,” she breaks, dropping her arms to her sides. “But, you need to tell him Y/n, you’ve got one year left with him!” She says to you, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckkkk!!!
“Lilly why would you ever think that my PRIVATE love letters about him would help me even get close to getting with him?” You half yelled, “It would probably make him scared of me!” You said, anger, fear and anxiety washing over you like a fucking tidal wave.
“I’m sorry, it was stupid, so stupid, I know but, you’ll thank me when I’m your maid of on and yours and his wedding!” She said with a small laugh, you gave her a death look that made her smile drop and apologise immediately. You sat down on the edge of your bed, head in hands, trying to think of good and peaceful thought.
Then a wash of release entered you, remember you never signed them. Not once did you ever write your name on them, everything else, yes but never your name, only your first initial could identify you, and there were tons of girls (and guys) at this school with your initial as a first name, and last.
Oh and of course your hand writing could, and yeah maybe your hand writing was a bit more extravagant than the other kids. But nobody is going to be paying attention to your hand writing, you hoped they wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Lilly said for the thousands time, “it’s fine,” you said with a smile, that was calm but angry. “what?” She asked, her expression changing. “I never signed my name on any of them,” you said, “What?” She asked shocked and kinda of angry?
“No!” She cried out, her plan had failed. “You weren’t sorry!” You said, “of course I wasn’t, your in love with him and yes imma try and get you two together!” She said storming out of the room, leaving you laughing at her failed attempt of embarrassing you.
The next day you walk to your class, as your crossing campus you spot your love, Rafe. You look at him as you walk past, knowing the only time he ever notices you is maybe once a month which is a small smile and wave. Maybe todays the day?
But no, you feel a little disappointed. Then you realise he’s looking down, down at. YOUR LETTER. “Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath, staring at him for a moment, before realising your actually staring and you run off. All you could see was Rafe, looking down at the letter, his eyes tracing over the words.
You jump into your seat in class and slam your head down; bringing small attention towards you but not to much. “You okay y/n?” Your friend Harry asks from aside you, “yeah,” you weakling say with a nod, your head still into your arms and facing down. And then you heard the familiar laugh, Rafe’s laugh, come down the hallway. Fuck, it’s a Tuesday, you have double English with him.
“Sorry I’m late Miss,” he says with a small smile at the teacher, “Yeah he got a love letter,” one of his friends say from behind him, “A love letter?” Miss Barry asks a bit surprised but with a smile on, “From who?” She questions, “Anonymous, they didn’t sign, got neat handwriting though,” he says thinking back to it, you blush harshly at the tiniest compliment from him.
“May I see?” She asks, she was definitely one of the more gossipy teachers here. She walked up to him and he handed it to her, she read through it. And of course as your English teacher, she noticed the hand writing immediately. Luckily you were on her really good side, and one of her favourite students, so she just folded it up and gave it back to him, returning to the front of the class.
As soon as the bell rang you wanted to rush out of there, your hand slightly cramped from the fact you were trying to change your hand writing. “Miss Y/l/n,” you heard, god why was her voice twice as annoying now.
“May you stay for a moment,” she asks with a small smirk on her face, everyone leaves and it’s now just you and her in a completely empty classroom. Tension is creeping up the back of your neck.
“So, Mr Cameron huh? Been trying to figure out who these love stories have been about,” she says with a smile, “What?” You questioned, cheeks as red as a cherry, trying to play dumb. “Don’t do that dumb act with me, we both know nobody has hand writing like you in this class, let alone this school,” she says with a small laugh, “Why do you care?” You ask a few moments later, “Like I said, I was always curious about who these love stories were about,” she says with a smile.
You blush more than you could have ever blushed, “Bye Miss,” you say totally embarrassed, and practically running of the class straight to your door room, freaking out. You flipped on the bed, screaming into your pillow at how embarrassed you felt. You wanted to cry, but couldn’t at the same time.
“You okay?” Lilly walked in knocking on the door, “fine,” you say, knowing she can tell your lying. “Did he speak to you today?” Lilly asks you, you shake your head, “you have a class with him tomorrow right?” She asks, “I have a class with him Thursday, English again,” you say, dreading for the day to come along.
And of course, that day came faster than any other day. You prayed, and prayed Rafe would just happen to be sick that day, because what if he found out it was you? And, oh you don’t even want to think about it.
As soon as you walked into your English class, you saw the desks in different places. Two desks formed into one, rows of it, which means two people in one desk. And, as you walked along, you saw numbers, “Morning everyone,” Miss Barry greeted, as students came in, looking confused.
“As you can see, seats have changed,” she said with a smug smile, looking at you mainly. “And as you can see on the board, each of you have assigned seats,” she said, very proud of herself. You looked to the board, and your heart dropped straight down to the ground, she was evil, of course she paired you with him, Rafe.
“Also happens to be your partner for your next assignment,” she said, a wink going your way. As you blindly stated at her, “you can take your seat now Y/l/n,” she said, a smirk across her face. You slowly stepped up to desk ‘8’, right near the back and sat down. Rafe still hasn’t arrived, so you prayed he was sick.
But of course, as always. His laugh came down the halls, and he walked in. He looked to the desks, and then to the board, “What?” He asked, Miss told him and he seemed so chill with it, yet hesitant, not because of you. But because of the fact he wasn’t with his friends.
“Hey y/n,” he said with a smile, sitting down next to you. Your heart skipping a beat, he knows my name, of course he knows my name you thought. “hi,” you say weakly looking at him, he was so gorgeous. You felt your heart rate go up every second.
As the lesson went on, and she explained the assignment. You tried your hardest, your absolute hardest to not even move and just focus on the words coming out of your teachers mouth, despising her at the same time as loving her. Because all you could smell was him, you could hear his breath sometimes, and his laughs at silly comments. It was mesmerising to be this close to him.
“Any volunteers to come up?” Miss asks, holding out the whiteboard pen, asking for someone to write Shakespeare most famous poem, nobody raised there arm. Of course no one raised there arm, “Y/n, you know it don’t you?” She asks, turning the attention to you. Did she hate you that much?
“Yeah,” you say, nodding. “May you enlighten the class,” she asks holding out the pen, god. You shakily stood up and walked up, totally forgetting to cover up your true hand writing. And writing down ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.’
“Do I have to write the whole thing?” You asks, miss shook her head and told you that was enough. You turn around almost running back to your desk, little did you know. Rafe was putting piece by piece together.
“Hey y/n,” Rafe calls out, you stop immediately, scared to turn around, but doing it anyways. He was so close, standing right in front of you, about to speak to you. “Yeah?” You ask quietly but loud enough for him to hear, “I- the project, uhh do you wanna start tonight or? Are you more of a last minute person?” He asks scratching the back of his neck, “I- uh,” you stutter, “Tonight’s good,” You say, nodding frantically.
“Dorm 204 by the way,” he says, letting you know his dorm. But of course you already knew it, you nodded softly, and walked off. Screaming internally.
“Lilly!” You scream, barging into her room. “Rafe, project partner, English, study tonight,” you say out of breath, because you ran to her room. “What?” She says with a large smile, “Fuck,” you curse realising you have to interact with him, “What?” She asks more concerned now, “I’ve never had a conversation with him Lils,” you say, “I said like, three words to him before!” You say practically crying.
“Just, you don’t even have to talk, just focus on the project, and maybe confess,” she says, “Lilly!” You throw a pillow at her, “What are you gonna wear?” She asks, Lilly being a fashion major and kinda a freak at it.
“Just, I don’t know, a sweater and jeans?” You offer, “it’s a billion degrees outside Y/n/n,” she states, “a shirt and shorts?” You ask, “A tank crop top and shorts,” she smiles and offers you, “Your funny, a tank top and jeans,” you then say, “Cropped tank top and leggings, final outfit!” She says, you knew you weren’t going to get out of it, your talking to a Law and fashion major student right now.
Now in a cropped shirt and leggings, you immediately felt out of your comfort zone. You wanted to cover up with a jacket, but Lilly refused; and she was right, you would sweat right through it and stink. And god how embarrassing that would be.
You spray yourself with deodorant, not wanting to try. You didn’t look like you were trying at all though, but you felt like you were trying to hard. You grabbed your bag, and books and slowly and anxiously, made your way to his dorm room.
As soon as you stepped in-front of the door, you felt so much anxiety, and fear wash over you. You wanted to run, away, far away. But yet, you forced yourself to knock, maybe a little to fast, and because well, your you. You overthought about knocking to fast for the next couple of seconds you stood there.
And then you heard the door open, and you see Rafe. Hair wet from the showers, blue shirt with shorts on. “Hey,” he said with a small smile, opening the door to let you in. You smiled at him yet looked straight down and walked into his room, dying from how much it smelt like him.
“So, obviously you know the most about Shakespeare out of everyone, so I think I got lucky with my partner,” he said with a smile sitting down in his desk chair, holding his hand out pointing to the bed, where you then sat. “Yeah,” you nod, “So what we’re you thinking of doing?” He asks, no. Fucking. Idea “uhh, maybe one of his comedies, like Tempest,” you said, shyly but slightly more confident. Talking about something you loved so much definitely made you feel safer.
“I was thinking more romance, like Hamlet, because well, I watched it last year for English and it’s the only one besides Romeo and Juliet I know,” he said with a small laugh, “Unless you wanna do Tempest,” he says, “No, we can d Hamlet,” you said with a smile, “but, a lot of people might be doing it,” you stated, “As long as I get an A, I don’t mind,“ he said with a smile, “You’ll get an A with me,” you said, causing him to laugh a bit. Which made your stomach flu out of the universe.
For a few minutes you purely focused on finding sources for him to look at, but at some point your vision was focused on something else. You saw something that made your heart feel Ill, your love letter, placed a top of his books on his desk.
“You okay?” Rafe asks, noticed you zoned out. “Fine,” you say looking to him, melting as soon as you see his features. “Ok, we’ll I found this website, Shakespearevandom.com,” he said, “Can you write it down for me, my laptop is so fucked I cant save anything on here,” he laugh, you nodded with a smile and ripped out a piece of paper from you book, looking at the spelling and writing it down.
As soon as you gave it to him, he looked at the hand writing. And you immediately knew, you knew what he was trying to figure out. And you became absolutely terrified. “Hey, I should really start goin-,” you were cut off by him speaking, “Your the anonymous girl huh?” He asks looking at your handwriting, play dumb, play dumb, play dumb y/n. “Sorry?” You question, he picks up the letter from atop the books, and placed it so you can definitely see it, he watches the way your cheek glow.
“I- no,” you try to deny, he smiles at how you try to come up with something. “Your cute when you panicking,” he states, you stop immediately, okay you were definitely redder than a tomato right now. “I- what?” You ask confused, “Can I ask you something?” He asks, how was he so confident oh my lord.
You softly nod, “su-sure I mean, yeah go ahead,” you smile to try and cover your awkwardness, “Go on a date with me?” He asks, and you felt your world go sick, like you felt as if you were going to puke. “Maybe Lexi’s Cafe, or we could go to the beach if that’s more your liking?” He smiles at you.
“Me? Am I dreaming?” You start to think, pinching yourself. “No,” he laughs a little, “And yes, you y/n,” he says your name, making you feel numb. “I- I’m free Saturday,” slipped out, but you weren’t and about it, slightly embarrassed about how fast it came out, “Here, I’ll text you,” he smiles handing you a number, you take it and put it in your bag, “Ok,” you say awkwardly, he stands up from his chair and stands in-front of you, “I don’t wanna wait until Saturday, so, I’m just going to ask now,” he says, you furrow your eyebrows confused, but not being able to say anything.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks, hope in his eyes. Lust in his eyes, “Really?” You ask shocked, he nods with a small laugh, you were shocked but you didn’t waste another second before you kissed him, feeling every brick in your shoulder lift off into the sky, every boulder was gone, and every stone was demolished. Guess Lilly was right, she is going to be the bridesmaid at you guy’s wedding.
Summary: Eddie and Reader get into a fight about something stupid, reader does something she regrets and asks to fix it.
Notes: this is purely based off Taylor Swifts song stay stay stay, and this is also a cute short fluff. HAPPY ENDING!!
It was probably from the stressful day you just had, and you were just taking it out on Eddie. You probably shouldn’t, but you just couldn’t hold it in.
He was standing there yelling back at you, defending himself. Which was fair, and the right thing for him to do. But it probably would’ve been better for the both of you if he just shut up.
“your so childish!” You yelled at him, walking around your kitchen. Your lucky your parents weren’t home at the moment, “I’m childish? Your screaming at me!” He yelled back.
“Yeah because your being childish!” You yelled, “I’m being childish because your yelling at me y/n!” He yelled back, “your so annoying sometimes god!” You grunted, trying to calm yourself down by pacing around the kitchen.
“And your a bitch sometimes!“ he said, you knew he didn’t mean it. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, you saw the regret in his eyes as he said it.
You couldn’t help it, you picked up the phone hanging in your wall and threw it at him, breaking it. You missed him but a bit, but you instantly regretted it.
You expected him to run off, but he calmly picked up his things and just left. He didn’t run, he actually expected you to just apologise over and over again. But you were just frozen still, you wanted to go after him. But by the time you actually moved his van started up and was pulling out of the long driveway.
You cleaned up the broken phone, and put it in the bin. Then ran up to your room and just cried, you felt terrible. You realised you just let out your anger on Eddie, he didn’t deserve it one bit. And you felt even worse for throwing something at him, knowing he never had the best father at all.
You woke up the next morning, with a pit of guilt in your stomach. A sickening feeling that you hated, you stood up feeling dizzy and just horrible. The memories of last night haunting you, sticky to you like gum on the bottom of your shoe, you didn’t want to loose him like this.
You walked into your parents room knowing they weren’t home, and went to use their phone to call Eddie. You dialled in his number, you didn’t expect him to pick up, but you hoped he would.
“Hello?” You heard Eddie speak, a low tired tone. A bit sad as well.
“It’s me,” you simply said, “Hi,” he said, you heard his voice pitch up a bit. Like he was happy to hear from you, “Can we meet up?” You asked quietly.
“Yeah, skull rock?” He asks, and you just hummed in response and hung up. You put on something that wasn’t Pj’ and left to skull rock.
When you walked up to the rock, you didn’t see Eddie. You assumed he wasn’t there so you took a comfortable spot up on the small rock beside the bigger one, crossing your legs and fiddling with your fingers.
You heard faint footsteps, you looked up to see Eddie. Standing there, with a football helmet on. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh, “okay let’s talk sweets,” he said with a smile.
“Why are you- what, why are you wearing that?” You asked, “well I thought I’d be prepared, incase you wanna throw a rock at me this time,” he said, you felt a little guilty but couldn’t help but laugh at it.
“I’m not gonna throw anything at you,” you stated, “you sure?” He asked, you nodded and watched him take off the helmet. His face sweaty from wearing it, bangs sticking to his forehead.
He slowly came up to you, and crawl onto the spot next to you, copying your siting position. Crossed legs with hands in lap, like you were in kindy again.
“Stay, Eddie please stay, I’m so sorry, I took everything out on you,” you spoke, “I- it’s oka-,” he tried to get in but you cut him off, “No it’s not okay, and I’m so stupid, it’s just, before you I only dated self-indulgent takers, who quite literally took all their problems out and on me, and I guess I was so use to it, i just, acted like them, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Eddie,” you cried out, you weren’t crying literally but you felt like it.
“And your nothing like them, you actual take time to get to know me, and you laugh at me when I get mad, and you know me, you actually try to understand me, nobody else is gonna love me when I get mad Ed, please just stay,” you pleaded, you honestly thought he was gonna shove mud in your face and leave you there.
“I am babe, I am gonna stay,” he said with a soft laugh, “I’ve been loving you for so long now, I’m not gonna leave you over a little fight,” he stated, “nobody else is gonna love me when I’m childish,” he laughed out, causing you to giggle a little.
“I love you,” you both said at the same time, laughing at each other. then you slowly leant in to kiss him, gently and lovingly. His soft lips bringing you so much comfort.
“I need a new phone before my parents get back,” you said, Eddie just laughed at you, wrapping his arm around you and saying “let’s go get you a new phone then,”.
Notes: this is the first smut I’ve written in a long time, so sorry if it’s bad. I’m quite proud of this so idk, but like and reblog if you like it please it helps <3
You were so excited, Eddie finally. Finally was letting you come to one of his gigs, you didn’t know why he never let you before, maybe he was insecure or something.
Either way, you were here now. You stood outside in the cold air, waiting for the familiar white van to show up so he could get you in for free. It was only five bucks, but if you could get in for free, then why pay 5 bucks?
You tapped your foot against the gravel, the leather jacket wrapped around you tightly. The only thing keeping you warm, as your dress flowed in the wind along with your hair.
And after about fifteen minutes of just standing there, Eddie finally showed up. Late of course, but what did you expect, it’s Eddie.
You smiled as you watched him rush out of his van, but instead of going to the back to get his stuff out, he rushed around the other side. Letting someone out of his van. A girl?
You stopped with furrowed eyebrows, trying to see if it was truly a girl or just Gareth. Because Gareth’s hair was getting awfully long now a days.
But no, it was a girl. Specifically it was Robin Buckley, what? Since when were Buckley and Eddie friends? I mean you knew Ed’a was friends with Steve and Robin and Steve were besties. But never once did you see Robin and Eddie hang out.
You hoped with in the next few seconds you would see Steve pop out, but you didn’t. You just saw Robin and Eddie talking a bit, you couldn’t hear what but your mind made up a bunch of things.
You saw her laugh, hitting him lightly. Are they flirting? You were so confused, especially when it looked as if Eddie was flirting back, as he stepped back a bit and laughed.
You watched as they said what seemed was a goodbye, you also watched as Robin leant up and kissed Eddie on the cheek. Walking off into the bar somewhere.
You felt a sting in your chest, like someone stabbed you. You felt sick to your stomach, like something was inside you trying to crawl out. You felt jealous, angry and most of all heartbroken.
You felt your eyes stinging, tears slowly forming in them. You hugged yourself a bit tighter and turned around, walking back to your car and driving home as fast as you could. Not trusting yourself with driving.
You sobbed for hours, your mind racing with a million thoughts. Most of them were bad but some were just trying to comfort you, like the odd “it was just a friendly kiss” but, it was mostly “Eddie and Robin are fucking”, and it made your heart shatter into pieces.
-
You kept to yourself for the next 3 days, hearing the phone ring, Eddie on the other line asking why you were ignoring him, and if you were okay. He sounded worried, but you didn’t care, you continued to cover your ears with your pillow as it rang.
When he showed up to your house on the second day, he was in a rush. So he didn’t stay for long, but he banged loudly on your door and called out for you. But you continued to ignore him.
“Y/n, are you okay? What happened baby, please don’t ignore me,” was all you could hear, his pleads for you to answer him, but every-time he spoke the thought of Robin kissing him ran through your mind. And then the kissing thought led to thoughts of what else they might’ve been doing.
“Y/n, Sweetheart, what happened?” You heard the phone, Eddie sobbing on the other line. “Did something happen? Or are you just sick of me or something? I need answers princess, please,” he begs, he was sniffling. He felt utterly embarrassed and heartbroken at you ignoring him. “Why didn’t you come to my show sweets,” he said before hanging up, a loud thud was all you heard from the phone being smashed against the handler.
You knew you had to talk to him, you felt horrible but you just couldn’t get the thought out of your mind. The worry of confronting him about him and Robin and him saying something like “you weren’t supposed to find out like this,” or “I’m so sorry, it all happened so fast,”.
But, you picked yourself up. Trying to push the worries away, you put on a skirt since it was hot out. And one of your favourite hoodies. You tried to conceal your puffy and dark under eyes, which it kind of worked. And you put a little bit of lipgloss on. Trying to make yourself seem presentable.
Not like you could compare with Robin, I mean she was quite literally beautiful. Way prettier than you, or atleast that’s what you thought. So maybe showing up to get an explanation in a pretty outfit would make you feel better , or maybe make him change his mind.
You got in your car and drove to his small trailer, which was now all his. Wayne had moved into a seperate trailer next to him, which was good for yours and his privacy. But maybe not so much anymore.
You parked in the same spot you always do, hesitating to get out of the car but getting out anyways. Slowly and carefully stepping towards Eddie’s home.
You lightly knocked on his door, immediately hearing some stuff move around. And Eddie jolting the door open as fast he could.
“Y/n?” He questioned, excitement and happiness in his voice at you actually being here.
“Hi,” you said softly, quietly. To quiet for Eddie’s liking, you seemed way to upset and he didn’t like it. You let yourself in, Eddie closing the door behind him.
“What happened Sweetheart?” He asked, general concern in his voice. He knew when your sister past away, you didn’t talk to anyone for days. So maybe someone close to you died, or maybe he did something. That’s what was racing through Eddie’s mind.
“Seriously?” You question a few moments later, feeling a bit shocked that he was trying to hide it. “What?” He asked, utterly confused.
You paused for a few moments, he stepped closer to you within the silence, but you stepped back a bit “Are you cheating?” You then asked, hesitant.
He half scoffed, half laughed. “What?” He questioned, so shocked that you were asking him that.
“I-“ you paused for a moment, trying to choose your words carefully. “I saw you with Robin,” you said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear it.
“Buckley? Robin Buckley?” He asked, making sure that was the one you meant. Which you just softly nodded to.
“Ok? What exactly did you see?” He asked, softly and gently. Confused and curious as to what you were trying to say.
“That night, she kissed you Ed’s. She flirted with you,” you stated, a small break in your voice as you told him the things you saw.
As to which he laughed a bit, “What’s funny about that Ed’s?” You asked a little firmer.
“Anwser my question!” You repeated yourself, “are you cheating on me?” You asked, anger in your voice. Jealousy washing over you.
“no, god No y/n,” he said, his laughter had stopped. And he seemed offended.
“Then why did she kiss you, Huh? Why were her hands all over you,” ok maybe you were exaggerating a little bit, but your mind kept making up things and you couldn’t help but alter what you saw into something bigger than it was.
“When?” He asked, shouting a bit.
“The other night, at the gig!” You stated, yelling a bit back at him.
“What? When I made a joke and she laughed at it!” He said, questioning you. “She lightly hit me y/n!” He stated. You felt a little bit guilty at your exaggeration.
“What would make you think I would cheat on you? Let alone with Buckley!” He said, scoffing. He wasn’t attracted to Robin, mostly because he knew she was gay.
“She beautiful, that’s why!” You said, you felt mostly insecure as well.
“Ok? And so are you!” He shouted, kind of loudly back at you. Meaning the words he said.
“Y/n, I don’t know what your mind came up with, but I made a joke, and she laughed at it sweetheart, nothing more,” he said softly, “I don’t want Buckley, I want you, ok?” He said stepping closer, this time you didn’t step back.
“I’m yours baby,” he said softly, it comforted you completely. And you felt utterly stupid, for a moment you wanted to apologise. And roll around in embarrassment, but you chose a different way.
“Prove it,” you said, looking at him with utter lust. Everything he just said turned you on tremendously, making your stomach whirl. The lower half of your body filling with need and the upper half with embarrassment.
But you swallowed the embarrassment and turned it around, hoping Eddie would forget about what you said when you said the words ‘prove it’.
He slowly smirked, and then he did something so unexpected. But it would forever be implanted into your mind.
He slowly leaned down, kneeling before you. On both of his knees, looking up at you. “I’m yours princess,” he said in a whisper, something for only you to hear, even though nobody else was around.
You felt your heart skip a beat, you felt your arousal grow (along with guilt from accusing him of something you knew he would never do). You slowly cupped his cheek with your hand, looking down at him with lust.
You learn down kissing him softly, as you pulled away you said “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions baby,” you did truly feel bad, especially because you made him worry for days.
“I get it, it’s okay sweetness,” he smiled, placing his hand over yours, “Let me apologise to you, please?” You asked, “only if you let me do so first,” he said blinking, “you have nothing to apologise for Ed,” you stated, “Yeah, I made you worry, I should’ve told you I was dropping her off before I did,” he said, you softly smiled at him. You truly loved him so much it hurt.
“Let me apologise first Y/n,” he said, his hands moving up the sides of your legs. “Plus it’s hard to keep myself composed when your dressed so pretty,” he said quietly, with a small chuckle. A small blush forming on your face.
You let his hand go under your skirt, playing with the line of your panties. Slowly pulling the fabric down your legs, letting you step out of them.
You moved back a bit so you were leaning against the wall behind you, Eddie’s hands moving over your hips, as he just started to kiss your thighs, making your wetness drip.
His hand slowly move to your cunt, rubbing through your slit with his fingers. Feeling how wet you are, how wet he made you.
“So wet already, this for me princess?” He asked taking his finger away and looking up at you. As to which you bit your lip and slowly nodded with a small hum, leaving him smirking.
He licked a line through your folds, letting you squirm a bit at his touch. Your hands immediately going to his hair, and his hands go to your hips, helping keeping you still as he placed kissed over your cunt.
The pleasure already started building quickly inside of you, “fuck Ed’s,” you moaned out, gripping onto his hair tighter and tighter as you felt his tongue move around perfectly.
“Beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed over, you kept hearing little praises come from his mouth. Small compliments making you feel better.
You felt yourself come closer, you couldn’t describe the pleasure you were feeling but you knew it was good. A kind of knot in your clit growing and growing, butterflies in your stomach fluttering around.
“F-fuck Ed’s I’m gonna,” you spoke as you came on his mouth, he immediately licked up everything like a puppy dog. You laughed a little as you came down from your climax, running your fingers softly through his hair as you let go.
“You like that Princess?” He asked softly looking up at you, “Yes, yes I do,” you said, your eyes still shut, your sensitive clit still crawling with pleasure.
“I’ll do it more often then,” he said starting to stand up, leaning down and kissing you. Tasting yourself on his lips and tongue, one hand on your hip and the other on your jaw. Bringing you in as close as humanly possible.
You pulled away from the kiss, looking into his eyes. You felt his bulge through his shorts, “Let me apologise now Ed’s,” you said, putting on your puppy dog eyes. Knowing he never ever, has once said no to them.
“How could I say no to such a sweet girl,” he said with a smile, looking down on you. Kissing you again. This time you kissed down his jaw, down his neck. You nibbled a little on the spot you knew he went crazy over, hearing a soft groan coming from him.
Your fingers curled around the hem of his shorts, gently pulling them down. You got down to your knees just as he did, looking up at him with a small smile on your face. He loved them view of you kneeling before him, it made him twice as hard.
You softly moved your hand over his bulge, before taking your hands back to the hem of his shorts and pulling them straight down. His boxers following along with his shorts.
His cock bounced out against his chest, you softly grabbed it and stroked down it a couple times. Gripping it with the perfect amount of pressure.
“Your an angel, you know that?” He chuckled as his hands now brushed through your hair, you smiled at that licking a stripe up his dick, tasting his pre-cum and feeling the large vein on your tongue.
You pushed your head down, further than he expected you to, and a loud moan escaped his lips as you continued to take him further down your throat than he expected. “Oh fuck baby,” he grunted out, helping you move your head at the right pace. Not to fast and never to slow.
You gagged at his length, but still continued to take it. Wanting him to know just how sorry you truly were, your hands reached up to his shirt, going under it to feel his toned abs. Letting your arousal to come back, wetness coming to soak your cunt again.
You heard Eddie’s breath get heavier, and at that you went a little bit faster. Also moving your tongue around a bit when you could, “oh that’s s- so good,” he stuttered out, his breath shaking and his hand gripping tighter on your hair.
“So close princess,” he stated right before he came, deep down in your throat. You couldn’t even taste it, it was that deep down. All you could feel was the warmth of his cum leaking down your throat.
“Fuck,” he sighed, you took a deep breath in. Letting yourself breath normally again, “You like that Ed’s?” You asked, a small gentle smile on your lips. “Uhuh,” he nodded coming down from his high, you stood back up kissing him once again.
“I’m sorry for ghosting,” you said gripping onto his shirt. “I’m sorry for letting you,” he said with a smile and kissing you. Wrapping your up close and tight so you couldn’t escape. You felt so safe in his arms, so secure, like nothing, nobody could ever touch/hurt you.
summary you're a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen. queue smiley face oatmeal, grossly misused power tools, desserts on the living room floor, a haircut, and an abundance of nerd metaphors [15k]
warnings teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is junie's birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, eddie ends up being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning etc, tw for not having much money, general loneliness, mentions of a shitty/traumatic pregnancy, general mom struggles :(, slowburn friends to lovers, you wash eddie's hair!!!! this was low-key requested by anon
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Eddie opens the door and finds a little girl on the steps of his house. Little girl feels generous – she's barely more than a baby. In a set of tiny matching pajamas and white socks stained green from the morning grass, she looks up at him with wide, sad eyes.
"Hey," he says carefully. "Hey, sweetheart."
"Good morning," she says, though it comes out blurry.
"Good morning," he repeats with a breathless laugh, instantly endeared.
He curls his hand around the railing and squats down. She really is very cute and obviously well looked after, although he realises upon closer inspection that she's been crying.
"Where's your mommy?" Eddie feels silly as he asks, but what else do you say when you find kids by themselves?
He's not really expecting her to know the answer. She pouts her small mouth and Eddie freezes up.
"Mommy.” Her breath quivers.
"Don't cry," he says very gently.
It doesn't work, obviously, and she starts whimpering in a way that turns Eddie's heart entirely.
"Let's find mommy, okay? Do you wanna do that? Wanna come and find mommy with me?"
"Yes," she says, though it quickly draws up into a sharp cry.
Eddie treks down the stairs and turns back, waiting. The little girl looks down at the steps and her eyebrows furrow as she places one foot after the other, looking like her socks are stuck to a fly trap.
He holds his hand out. "You got it," he says encouragingly, wiggling his fingers.
Her relief is palpable. Her brows smooth as she takes his hand, so small he can cover her entire palm with the meat of his thumb. She wobbles down the steps and then hesitates at the damp ground awaiting.
Eddie drops his gaze to her wet feet.
She looks up at him. Eddie doesn't think she means to but her eyes are pleading,and he's already moving to pick her up when she lifts her arms into the air.
She's heavier than he anticipates. He quickly gets used to the weight, shifting her against his side with his arm under her butt, her damp foot digging into his abdomen. She rests one hand on his shoulder and the other reaches for his hair. He can't help smiling at her as she pets the dark mess, hand clumsy but well-intentioned.
He walks down past the van and onto dark asphalt, looking up and down the road to see if anyone's around. He figures she has to be a trailer park kid – she can't have walked very far, and she'd been waiting outside. She must've gotten mixed up and thought his trailer was her own, which hopefully means her mom lives close.
The steps up into his trailer are on the right side. Eddie guesses she's come from the right. It's not a great assumption — he's grasping at straws.
"What's your name?" he asks.
She's taken a lock of his hair into her hands. Eddie worries for a second that she's going to try eating it but she only waves it around, looking pleased.
"I'm Eddie."
"Dee," she says.
"Almost. Eh-dee," he spells out, again not actually expecting her to understand what he's saying. He's unsure about kids her age – he's unsure what age she even is.
She babbles something unintelligible and Eddie hikes her higher up his chest. He strides out of the cool shadow and blinks, shielding his eyes against the yellow-white glare of sunshine. The little girl hides her face in his hair.
He hasn't walked very far when he sees you behind the trailer three doors down, pinning clothes that look the same size as the girl's pajamas to a clothesline with unhurried hands. The front door is wide open.
"Your poor mommy," he murmurs as he approaches, "out here doing the laundry by herself and you're halfway to Indianapolis. Musta got turned around, huh?"
You drop a small light blue dress on the floor and cuss just loud enough for Eddie to hear it. You pick it up fast and brush it down, looking over the fabric worriedly.
Eddie cuts over soft grass, giving the baby's waist a pat and holding her ears away from his mouth as he raises his voice. "Hey, is this your kid?" he asks.
You flinch toward him and your eyes go wide – wide, your lips parting and your brows jumping down like you might start yelling.
You're really fucking pretty.
Eddie’s quick to placate you. "She was sitting on my front steps."
You still don't look very happy though your suspicion melds to confusion and then a stab of too-late worry. You rush towards them and Eddie turns his body to encourage the girl's gaze to you. His chest warms when she perks up.
She wriggles in his arms impatiently and Eddie's surprised by how quickly she starts to cry, reaching out for you with insistent grabbing hands as he passes her over.
"It's okay," you say softly, tucking her into your chest.
The difference in body language is unmissable. Where she'd been restless (though more than pleasant) in Eddie's arms, she completely melts into yours. Her little face presses into your neck and her legs curl up. You pat her butt soothingly. "It's okay, baby. Where have you been?" You look up at him for an answer with concern lining your pretty features.
"I'm only three down," he says.
"Oh… Thank you," you say roughly.
Your gratitude is unnecessary. "That's okay. She's real sweet. I opened the door and the first thing she said was, 'good morning,'" he recalls with an easy smile.
Joy lightens your entire face. He feels his breath catch in his throat.
"She did? She said that?"
"Yeah, she did.” He tries not to sound as confused as he feels.
Your eyes close with the force of your smile. You encourages your toddler’s face back and drop your chin to plant kisses all over her tiny cheeks. Eddie feels something foreign yawning in his chest as she starts to laugh, a tinkling sound that's sugar sweet.
He scratches his neck and pretends to look over his shoulder, tamping his smile back into a neutral expression.
"She's having trouble talking," you say, lifting your head as the baby's giggles taper off. "She can talk, she says 'mommy' all the time, but she's s'posed to be saying more 'cos she's almost two and I know she can do it, she's so smart, but-" You cut yourself off and laugh all breathless and sheepish. "Sugar, I'm sorry. I mean- Sorry. Thank you," it almost bursts from you, "for bringing her back. I don't know…"
"You just moved in, right?" You nod. "The lock on the front door- they're all exactly the same, you just gotta shake it and it unlocks. Even someone small as her can could get it open with enough determination."
"She can be very determined," you say ruefully, voice hushed. You're still patting her butt, swaying her from side to side. Eddie's in awe at how quickly she's settled, her button features crumpled by a big yawn. "Always gets what she wants."
"I bet she does, she's a total heartbreaker."
You take a step towards him, your beat up sneakers half a foot from his converse. "She can't help it, she was born this pretty," you say. He loves how braggy you sound.
"I can see where she gets it."
As soon as he says it he wishes he could take it back. Not because he doesn't think it's true – you're really something else – but because he doesn't want to creep you out.
Luckily, he's rewarded for his bravery by another beaming smile, your words warm as you tell him, "They said she was the prettiest baby they'd seen in twenty years up in Eskenazi general."
The name pricks his ears. "You're from Indianapolis?"
"Kind of." You tilt your head to the side. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name."
"Eddie." He could applaud himself on how normal he sounds and how not normal he feels.
"Eddie, I'm Y/N. D'you wanna come in for coffee? Or I can make you some breakfast? To say thank you for taking care of my Junie."
"Junie," he repeats, surprised.
You shift from foot to foot. "She's a June baby. And she's getting kind of heavy these days, so. Breakfast?"
He follows you up the steps and through the back door.
"You can leave it open," you say over your shoulder.
He catches an eyeful of your bathroom, an organised chaos that smells intoxicating, the rich scent of jasmine heavy in the humidity chased by something softer. Talcum powder, he thinks.
You murmur something to Junie too quiet to hear and she rouses from her dozing, grizzling weakly.
"It's breakfast time! Is that what you tried to come and find me for, some breakfast? So impatient," you scold her lightly, smiling all the while as you set her into a bright blue high chair with a big yellow duck with orange flippers printed on the cushioning.
You squeeze one of her feet and frown. "Your socks are wet. Did you go swimming in the grass?"
Eddie leans against the doorway leading into the kitchen. He doesn't have any experience with kids. You make it look easy, pulling off her stained socks while she wiggles her protest and tickling the soles of her feet with the tip of your finger until she's happy again.
You turn back to him, socks clutched in your hand. "I'm gonna make oatmeal. Is that something you…"
"I'm an oatmeal fiend."
You grin and do a lap to close the front door. "Sit down. I'll get you some coffee? I got milk and brown sugar."
He throws himself into the seat next to the high chair with exaggerated enthusiasm. "Brown sugar? Sweetness, you're spoiling me."
Junie laughs. Eddie pulls himself up into a proper sitting position and gawps at her exaggeratedly. "What's funny, little lady?"
She giggles some more. Eddie leans his elbow on the tray of the high chair and pretends to glare at her. "I can already tell you're trouble."
"She likes you."
"Yeah?" he asks, looking at you over his shoulder.
You're half obscured by cabinets as you poke your head out, an open sack of rolled oats in one hand and a small pan in the other. You nod happily and move to the sink. He can hear the sound of the faucet and the burner clicking on, the saucepan sliding over the stovetop.
"I like you," he says to Junie quietly, rapping his knuckles on the tray. "But don't tell anyone, okay? I have a reputation."
"So, uh, how long have you lived here?" you call, almost smothered by the rushing sound of oats tipping into hot water.
Junie makes a funny face like she might sneeze. Eddie watches. "Since I was a kid." He's smiling as he talks, amazed when Junie starts to smile back. He nods his head gently up and down to encourage her. "Too long. Not that it's not nice here."
Junie looks like she agrees.
"For sure, but.. not always where you picture yourself," you say tentatively.
He hums his agreement. "Whatever though, right? A roof is a roof. Even when the roof is made of cardboard and corrugated metal. I mean, all things considered, this is a well kept vessel."
He's not just trying to make you feel better – you really are making a go of it. There's not nearly as much clutter or decoration as his own home but it's twice as clean and every surface brags a clear affection – you fucking love your daughter. There's a framed photo of her as she looks now at the mantle without a single fingerprint on the glass, baby photos in smaller frames hang on the wall.
Smallest of all, a photo of the two of you together. Your hands on her shoulders, your lips and nose pressed to her forehead. You're not looking at the camera, but Junie is, and she's exuberant.
Toys, though few, are arranged neatly under the TV. It's really the type of clean that takes hours. He wonders how you'd ever make time for it.
"You got a job?"
"Yeah, I'm waitressing at Benny's?" You say it like a question. "The burger place?"
"Yeah, I know the one. Randolph Lane, near the laundromat. Does Junie go with you?" he asks. He cooes Junie's name and feels very happy when the girl in question smiles some more, reaching out with her hands. Eddie offers up the same palm she'd taken before and lets her squeeze his fingers in a surprisingly tight grip. "She looks like a working girl."
"Benny said I could bring her with me until she starts daycare next week, so she really is a working girl." You giggle madly and Junie loves the sound, her chubby cheeks rounding as she smiles.
"I knew it," Eddie whispers conspiringly. "You have the face for it."
Junie laughs like something is truly hysterical and Eddie can't believe it, squeezing the small girl's smaller fingers in his and waving their joined hands together.
"She really likes you," you say, closer now.
You set a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. He pulls his hand from Junie's and moves the hot mug away from the high chair though she'd never be able to reach it as you set your own mug and a pint of milk half-full across from him, the brown sugar you'd promised in a pink and orange ceramic dish with a lid that clinks as he pulls it off.
You double back into the kitchen. This time you bring a baby bottle full of what he guesses is diluted juice and two teaspoons, handing him one with a quiet, "For you."
"Why thank you," he drawls.
He spoons a generous hill of crumbly brown sugar into his cup and swirls.
"The oatmeal needs to soften. Is there anything you want with it? I've got lots of options," you tell him, pouring milk into your own mug. When you're done you and Eddie swap.
He thinks maybe you sound a little nervous and wonders if he's the first neighbour you've met. Or maybe you're still freaked out about Junie.
He raises his eyebrows but doesn't look at you as he splashes milk into the dark recesses of his coffee, watching as it bursts back up to the surface and turns the drink a more acceptable brown. "What do you usually have?"
"Junie gets peanut butter and blueberries."
He tilts his head toward his shoulder just slightly and plants his elbows on the table, the rim of his mug held in tenuous fingertips.
"What do you get?" he asks, thinking that if the baby gets such a sweet treat you must get something equally impressive. He thinks of raspberries and chia seeds, flakey sea salt and bitter dark chocolate.
You blink. "What?"
"What do you have, on your oatmeal?" He punctuates his question with a sip.
"Salt. Sometimes raisins."
You make a nice cup of coffee. Eddie holds it in both hands and leans into the table. "That's it?"
You shrug. Junie starts to whimper about something Eddie doesn't understand. You reach out to hold her hand. "She loves blueberries. Don't you, Junie?"
"Blue," Junie says.
You're smiling as you take another small spoonful of brown sugar. You lick the tip of your finger and dip it into the well of the spoon until a few grains are sticking to you and hold it up to Junie's lips. "She loves sugar, too, but toddlers aren't s'posed to have it. Or so they say." You smile as she sucks the sugar off before wiping your spit wet finger in your pants.
Daughter appeased for a moment, you hold your chin in your palm and turn your attention to him. "Where do you work?"
He imagines this is how a plant feels when the sun comes out. "The Hideout, for now. I'm a very essential and irreplaceable bus boy." He nods very seriously.
"What's after?"
"Music."
Your lips curl into an interested smile. "Music? You a singer?"
"I have a great set of windpipes," he says agreeably, grinning. "But I'm a guitarist."
"And you're in a band?"
"I- I was. Yeah, we were good, too, but everybody graduated and our drummer skipped town. I just sub rhythm guitar for whoever wants me to."
"At the Hideout?"
"At the Hideout." He decides on his next words carefully. You could come see me play. Weak. You're welcome to come see it for yourself. Too strong? You're welcome to come by one night. Bring Junie.
He's not asking you on a date; he's a new acquaintance extending an invitation for you to get out and see a new place. That's all it is.
He opens his mouth to try and suddenly there's a loud clattering. Eddie flinches, blinks, finds that Junie has thrown her bottle of juice across the room.
Eddie waits for you to maybe tell her off like some of the mom's he's seen at Bradley's. A glare, a hissing remark to be good.
You reach over and your shirt rides up your back. Eddie averts his gaze guiltily.
You put the bottle back on the tray, giving him an apologetic grimace. "Sorry, Junie has recently discovered that every time she drops something I'll pick it up for her."
"Smart Junie."
The bottle falls to the floor again. "She's a genius." You don’t sound entirely pleased, picking the bottle up again and holding it just out of Junie's reach. You shake it up and down. "S'juice. You like juice," you try to reason with her.
Junie reaches for it. You purse your lips. "Be good," you say softly.
Junie takes the bottle and shakes it.
It's a small victory and still softens every feature. Your eyes squint, your bottom lip juts out a touch, your nostrils flare with a pleased inhale.
"Thanks, junebug."
"Tanks," Junie says.
"Thanks," you repeat, bubbly baby talk. "Thanks. Say thanks, Junie."
Eddie watches you encourage her over his coffee. It's quiet, peaceful here in a way nowhere else in his life has ever been besides quiet Sunday mornings with his Uncle. There's only the sound of the gas stovetop burning and your happy, patient voice.
Junie says "Tanks," a couple more times. You don't give up. When she finally says something that sounds almost like a "Thanks," you whip your gaze to his.
"Did you hear that?" you ask. Your pride is evident.
He puts down his half empty mug. "She said it."
"She said it," you repeat, your shoulders moving in the tiniest happy dance he's ever seen. You stand up and take her face into delicate hands. "She's my smarty pants. Aren't you, baby?"
You dot a kiss over her head and head back into the kitchenette.
"Tanks," Junie says animatedly, running on an affection high. She accidentally knocks her bottle over.
"Thanks, Junie," Eddie corrects, righting it.
He finds it easier to baby talk than he imagined. Being nice to little kids – that's easy. Especially as he gets older. When they hit the pre-teen mark is when he starts to steer clear, but even then he can't help doting on them sometimes. Like his club – idiots, annoying idiots, but his annoying idiots. He doesn't hold back with them. He doesn't feel like he's holding back now, either, it's just different.
Baby's want love. Care and affection.
And to pull Eddie's hair, apparently.
Junie's reaching over the gap with a fierce look on her face. Eddie pulls his chair closer and decides to let her try it out. She hadn't given him any reason to worry before, and she doesn't now as she takes a chunk of his hair into her hand. She pulls very gently, likely more that her fingers have gotten caught in his messy curls than any maliciousness.
"What's your fascination with my hair?" he asks her.
In her own home Junie's very noisy. When he'd found her outside she hadn't done much besides whimper weakly. Now, she's a riot of gurgling and humming.
"Are you a singer, Junie?" he asks.
"She sings all the time! She loves the Muppet Babies on TV, but I- uh, I haven't been able to actually get cable, yet. But when I get paid next week…" You come back into view with two bowls in hand. "She'll be in her oils."
Eddie says thanks as you put a bowl down in front of him. There's a smiley face there made up of berries with banana slices for eyes. He feels something crawling up his throat and has no idea what it is, and then something completely different when he sees your own bowl, a stretch of plain oatmeal with no delicious adornment.
You leave and quickly return with a smaller bowl, a baby spoon and a jar of peanut butter.
"Do you want some?" you ask, opening the jar to push the baby spoon inside. "I would've just put it in anyway but then I worried you were allergic."
You hand it off to Junie and she licks at it happily.
"Sure, I'll have some. Where's your smiley face?" he asks.
Your eyes widen slightly. Eddie's not academically inclined but he's never been stupid, and he sees it for what it is, something he's seen in himself and in every other poor kid who didn't bring lunch to school.
"I don't really like bananas," you say.
Whether you're lying or not isn't something he needs to know.
"Well, you're gonna have to share the blueberries with me, I can't eat this much fruit. I got a hearty diet of chips and microwave oven dinners to uphold."
Eddie shovels half of the smile into your bowl. You clutch your spoon in your hand like you want to protest, but no way is he gonna watch you miss out on nice things in your own home.
You smile and don't say anything for a while, rubbing the edge of the bowl with your spoon, your thoughts somewhere else.
Junie's food sits billowing steam in the middle of the table, which annoys the poor girl endlessly. She wiggles and murmurs and sucks at her empty spoon with a growing line between her brows.
Eddie eats and feels much better when you finally start to eat your own meal, leaning back in his chair heavily to loll his head towards Junie. "Your mom makes amazing oatmeal. You're really missing out."
You choke on a laugh and grab her spoon to load up with another small heap of peanut butter. "That is so cruel to lord over her,” you say. “I can't give it to her yet! It's scorching. She has a fragile mouth."
"I'm sure."
He picks one of his blueberries out of the bowl and offers it to Junie, who takes it slowly despite her previously rabid hunger
More oatmeal eating. Eddie ends up giving the rest of his fruit to Junie, your generous dollops of peanut butter more than enough to enjoy the oatmeal. He might argue it doesn't need any adornment at all.
You stir peanut butter into Junie's bowl and wrestle the baby spoon out of her tight grip.
It's a process to watch. You scoop up oatmeal, blow on it until you're sure it's cool, and push it into Junie's mouth efficiently. There's a method to it, the way you lift the handle of the spoon so oatmeal doesn't drip straight back out of her mouth. When it does you scrape the lip gently against her chin to catch it before it ruins her shirt.
It starts to rain. Hard not to notice, a light drizzle opens and sprays down against the windows and for a moment there's no reaction. Then, gasping, you drop Junie's bowl back onto the table in stress.
"Shit, the laundry. Are you okay to watch her please? Sorry. I'll be five seconds," you say, already heading for the back door.
"Sure.” He sounds about as startled as he feels.
The back door shushes open and your feet dip down the steps. Junie is not very pleased with her breakfast getting put on pause, her face growing as unpleasant as the weather outside.
"Mommy," she says, unhappy and loud.
Eddie doesn't think about it as he picks up her bowl. It's more a pulse of feeling than a thought. Feed her and she won't cry.
He blows on a spoonful of oatmeal with likely too much vigour.
Junie's still complaining as he holds it in front of her face. If she's surprised to be fed by somebody who isn't her mom she doesn't show it, her sticky face growing suddenly slack as she realises her oatmeal is back in play. Her lips part.
He feeds her oatmeal, does a very bad job, and tries to gather what's escaped with the spoon as Junie waves her hands around and pokes at spilled food on the white tray in front of her. By the time you come back damp and breathless with the cold chasing your heels he's successfully managed to feed her what was left of her breakfast. He's embarrassed to be caught but tries not to show it.
"You okay?" he asks, looking you up and down amicably.
"S'only a little rain." You push the laundry basket onto the sofa and smile sheepishly. "You didn't have to do that."
"And have the precious little lady starve?"
"Starve!" you repeat, a feigned incredulousness to your tone.
"She was giving me the puppy dog's," he says, shrugging as he takes the spoon out of Junie's wet fingers.
She whines for a second at his robbery but seems to realise she's full, picking her juice back up to shake some more.
You exhale through an open-mouthed smile.
"Thank you. She's gonna love you now, she loves anyone who gives her food. She's a real cadge at the diner. Never seen so much free cherry pie in my life," you remark, turning to what looks like your diaper station. You wade through a mess of things he doesn't recognise and pull out a packet of baby wipes.
"And her mom? Is her affection so easily garnered?"
"Takes more than a cherry pie to win me over," you joke, sitting down in your chair in front of the high chair with a soft sigh. You pull out one of the wipes and take Junie's wrists into your hand, wiping her fingers clean methodically. "I need at least a squirt of whipped cream on top before I consider any fondness."
He chuckles and you laugh too. It's short-lived, your lips pursed as you wipe Junie's face clean. She hates every second of it, writhing in her chair like she's being tortured as you clean a mess of brown and blue from her round chin.
"Sorry, I'm sorry. Done, done," you say, holding your hands up in surrender.
She pouts.
"Don't be like that," you scold her mildly. "Look how lovely and clean you are now! Eddie can see how pretty you look again."
You slide your hands under her armpits and pull her out of the highchair, groaning.
"Oh, there you go. Where's Mr. Bear gone, baby? You can play sticky bricks with him so I can get ready for work."
Work. Work. Where Eddie was going. Where Eddie is very likely supposed to be. He checks the time and his eyes flare, standing up abruptly. You turn toward him with Junie anchored on your hip, both wearing matching expressions of curiosity.
"Sh-“ Don’t swear around babies. “I'm sorry, I got somewhere to be that I totally spaced on."
You blink. "That's okay."
"It was sick to meet you," he says.
You blink some more and walk to the front door, pulling it open as an understanding smile curls your lips. "Super 'sick,'" you say, bemused. "Thank you so much for bringing Junie back. Really, I mean, if anything ever happened to her." You don't finish because it's obvious, your bright tone underlain with a burning fear.
He walks sideways out of the door and down one step, knowing he's super fucking late but not caring too much as he says, "Listen, I can bring you a deadbolt."
"You could?"
"Sure thing. Make sure this little lady," and he says it chidingly, directing his gaze at Junie who goes all shy and smiley from the attention, "doesn't go on anymore morning adventures. Especially without her shoes."
"That would be… that would be awesome, Eddie. Thank you."
He waves his hand and descends the last of the steps. "I'll come around tomorrow?"
It's a Saturday today. He's not surprised that you're both working the weekend, but he is surprised that you're working Sunday too when you say, "Would after five be okay?"
"That's more than okay. Bye, trouble," he says to Junie, bringing a hand up to shield his hair from the drizzling rain.
You look lovely on the stoop, fresh-faced and in your lounge clothes. You tug Junie up your chest and take her hand into yours. "Say 'bye', Junie," you tell her, waving her hand. "Bye! Bye-bye, Eddie."
"Bye Junie!" he calls, waving at the little girl with great fervour.
"Bye!" Junie calls back.
You both grin.
-
You're super tired from work and exhausted from an upset daughter. Even now Junie fusses. She hasn't been getting her naps because you can't set her down anywhere that isn't the wooden high chair in Benny's restaurant, which is months of a routine disrupted.
You're not mad at her – the opposite, you feel awful to mess her up like this, awful that she's so upset. Trying your very best to calm her down, you're swaying her from side to side in the middle of your messy living room with your hand patting a steady rhythm into the narrow breadth of her back.
"I know, baby, I know. I'm sorry. You'll get your nap tomorrow, I promise," you say, trying for softness and missing, desperation eating at your tone.
You try not to have a heart attack at the thought of her first day at the new daycare. I can't think about it, you tell yourself, moving your thoughts onto the Sunday checklist.
Junie's been fed. Unfortunately, she's the kind of wound up where the only solution you can think of is to get her in bed. If you can get her down soon she'll sleep until maybe 4AM. Not ideal; you'd prefer she slept later tonight and woke up at a healthier 6AM with you. When she does wake, no matter the time, you'll have her eat something substantial for breakfast and take a much needed bath.
Laundry, bills, cleaning, it all runs through your head. Junie's hair, her snacks for daycare, her clothes. Does she have clean socks for the week? Does she have a vest top for tomorrow?
Her crying grows loud and you can't think of anything except how overwhelmed you feel.
"It's okay, baby, just go to sleep." You shush her softly.
Somebody knocks the door.
You and Junie are similarly nonplussed. Her crying ceases for a second and her head turns in tandem with yours.
"Oh. Oh, you know who that is, huh?" you ask her, making for the door while her cries are still on pause. "That's our new friend Eddie. You remember Eddie?"
You pull open the door. There he is on the porch with a bag and a plastic case, wearing a shirt with short sleeves. You realise for the first time that he has tattoos.
"Hi," you say.
"Hi. Hi, Junie," he adds, looking at her tear-stained face. "Have I come at a bad time?"
"No, you're good. You're great, thank you for doing this." You lean back against the door and Eddie skirts past you. That close, you can smell the heavy sage and sandalwood of his cologne and see the beauty mark under his ear, dark hair tucked behind the shell.
He stops in the middle of the room and puts down the plastic case. "I'm gonna try to do it. Try being the essential word, and I make absolutely no promises." He makes a small cross with his hands leading out and the bag falls from the crook of his elbow to his wrist.
It sounds like more than a deadbolt. Eddie sees your gaze and jumps into theatrics that hook Junie's attention straight away, ruffling through the bag. He pulls out a VHS tape and then a second, one old and one newer.
"For your consideration." He presents them grandly against his check, his eyes flitting from your daughter to the tapes in wait of her reaction.
Junie has no clue what a VHS is. She thinks the TV is magic.
You swoop in and gasp loudly for Junie's sake, having identified his proffered tapes immediately.
"You know what that is?" you ask her, pointing at the slipcover. "Muppet Babies! There's Kermit and Fozzy and Rowlf and Gonzo." You touch your finger to each puppet in turn as you reel off their names.
Junie looks up at you like maybe she remembers, so you start to sing the theme tune for her. "Muppet Babies, they make their dreams come true. Muppet Babies, they'll do the same for you!"
The song jogs her memory. She starts her nonsense singing in a valiant but juvenile effort to recreate the music, dancing in your arms.
You sing it again for her as you lower her to the floor. She doesn't whine to be picked back up, a great sign that her mood has turned, instead walking to the TV, a small silver combi with a bubble screen. She raises her arms up high and starts hitting the TV stand with her palms flat.
Eddie looks to you as if he's checking that it's alright before crossing the small space and turning on the TV, your relieved smile more than enough encouragement. He's careful not to step on Junie's feet, surprised when she walks into his leg. She grabs onto his jeans and looks up at him with wide eyes.
Eddie visibly softens.
It's kind of crazy to see him, this metalhead dude covered in dark tattoos and wearing safety pinned jeans looking down at a toddler with nothing but patience in his eyes.
He drops his hand very lightly to her tiny back and pushes in the tape. "Hi, sweetheart."
"Hi," Junie says.
She doesn't let him touch her for very long, falling to her knees to pull out the bin of stickle bricks hiding underneath as Eddie fast forwards through the adverts and then turns up the volume until the Muppet Babies theme is echoing against the wood panelled walls..
Junie's eyes dart up the screen, two bricks held in her hands and a great smile on her face.
"Where did you find that?" you ask, in awe.
He steps over her and comes back to your side, crossing his arms over his stomach with a smug smile. "Not telling. Ruins the magic. Got The Bugs Bunny Show for when she gets bored of Miss Piggy."
You smooth down your rumpled black work skirt and smile shyly. "I can pay you back… Next week."
He looks lost for words for a split-second. It clears fast, and he says, "Tell you a secret. I have a friend down at good old Family Video that let me have 'em for nothing."
"Yeah?" you ask, unsure. You worry he's lying to make you feel better.
"Uh-huh. Friends in high places," he brags sarcastically.
You turn to watch Junie smile for the first time in hours and have to scrub your face to hide how shattered you feel. It's been a really long week. Your relief is a physical thing, a hand on your shoulder. You feel yourself deflate.
"You okay?" Eddie asks.
You press the backs of your hands to your cheeks. "Thank you. Really. You saved me."
"Yeah?" he asks, dialling up the drama. He lifts his chin high. "Would you say, oh, I don't know, that I'm your hero?"
It's his clear joking tone that saves him. If you'd detected even a smidge of genuine expectancy from him you likely would've shoved him out the door.
"Mm-hm. My hero," you croon, both of you grinning.
He turns back to the grocery bag and pulls out a bottle of juice. "I was gonna bring coke but I didn't want Junie to feel left out."
You move to the cabinets and can't believe how nice he is. You get a little warning stab, that feeling of if it's too good to be true… and shake it off. Maybe it'll turn out that way and you're not gonna do anything stupid to chance it, but he seems like a normal guy. A good neighbour who wants to be your friend.
You're in dire need of one of those.
"What was wrong with the little lady?"
You pour juice into a glass for him, less into a glass for you, and a half-inch into a clean baby bottle. "I can't get her down for a nap when she's with me at work and it really caught up to her today. She-" You yawn so wide it hurts your cheeks, covering your face with your arm.
Eddie looks up from where he's kneeling in front of the open plastic case he'd brought with him. "Caught up to you too, I think."
"A little." You smile ruefully.
He holds something red and black in the air. "This'll wake you up," he says.
It's a small hand drill. He presses down on the trigger twice in quick succession and Junie lies down on the floor to look backwards at him.
“Woah,” you say.
Junie rolls onto her knees and then stands. She's in that stage of walking where she can mostly do it but has a great tendency to trip over anything that might be in her way, and she stumbles as she approaches. Eddie moves the drill away from her and opens the case wide to show her his array of drill bits.
"How'd you like them, Junie?" he asks. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"What do they all do?" you ask.
"I don't have the foggiest," he says, grinning up at you. "And I really wanted to be cool and pretend that I did. I was going to, but you asked me that and now we're sunk."
Junie pokes at all the silver metal and turns away, bored, to return to her cartoons.
"I'm sorry," you say, not sorry at all.
"You should be." He shakes his hair out. "Can't say woodshop was something I ever paid much attention to in school."
You squat down beside him where he's counting the screws out for the deadbolt he'd acquired for you, your small cup of juice in hand. The deadbolt isn't new but it's clean of rust and that's all you care about. It doesn't need to do anything besides work.
"It can't be too hard though, right?" you ask quietly. There isn't any need to talk loudly this close to him and your head is starting to hurt from a long day.
"I hope not." He passes you the drill. "Hold onto that?"
He stands and you follow, the deadbolt frame in hand. He turns to your front door and holds it up to the frame, far from the door knob. "Where'd you want this thing?"
"Wherever you think is best," you say quickly.
"Got a pencil?"
You don't. You're ashamed to offer him a cyan blue crayon from Junie's arts and crafts. He takes it with a gleeful smile and uses it to draw a line under the deadbolt's two parts to make sure they fit together once they've been drilled in.
Junie starts fussing and you squint at her, trying to guess what's wrong. You leave the drill on the small table by the door.
"Junie, you want some dinner?" you ask, walking up behind her where she's stood watching TV. You rub her shoulder and lean over her, your face upside down in front of the TV. "I don't think you're hungry. Let's change that diaper."
She certainly doesn't want you to. You turn to Eddie where he's making clumsy crosses on the door in place of the screws, his brows furrowed.
"I'm gonna go get her some jammies," you say, and then wince. "Pajamas."
"Jammies," he repeats. You hate how happy he looks.
A hot flush washes over you. "She's the only one I talk to."
Again, that awful softening of his features. He's got the biggest, brownest eyes you've ever seen. "Why don't you get changed, too? I'm gonna start drilling." He waves the drill and you don't like how loosely he holds it.
"Please don't ruin the door."
A wolfish smile. "No promises."
You leave all the doors open. Eddie's nice but you're not stupid – if he plans on kidnapping her or something evil this is the perfect time. Though, you suppose, he could’ve abducted her when he found her outside.
You shed your uniform and pull on a pair of loose fitting pants. You can't find a clean t-shirt, probably because you own a grand total of three, and you get distracted when the drill starts whirring and Junie screams.
You know in your heart that it's just a baby scream rather than a sign that she's in pain and you still can't let it lie, rushing down the hall. You can see her, see that she's uninjured, only looking at the drill.
She's excited.
"You like that?" Eddie asks her. "Is that funny?"
Junie claps her hands together and reaches for the drill.
Eddie frowns. "Sorry, you can't have it. I gotta finish the door for your mommy. Why don't you build me something with your bricks, yeah? Something big."
Junie reaches up for the drill again.
"I can't, Junie, it's too dangerous. Don't want you to get all mutilated." You wrinkle your nose at what he's saying. He turns the drill towards his chest and touches the drill bit to his collar. "Look, see this? It's not for little hands."
Junie steps over the case of things on the ground and leans against Eddie's legs, insistent.
Your mouth drops open as he starts the drill and puts on some fake anguished screams. "Ah! Oh my god, it's eating me!"
Junie starts laughing at his fake screaming. Her eyes widen, her hands clinging to a rip in his jeans.
"Think that's funny, do you? Heartless girl. Where's your juice gone, hmm?" He holds the drill behind his back and points to her bottle on the side of the couch where you'd left it. "You want that?"
He goes over her head to grab it and encourage it into her hands. "Yummy," he says, his eyes moving to where you stand in the door past the kitchen, eyebrows jumping up. "Everything okay?"
"Screaming," you say, awkward in your breathlessness.
Eddie's eyes stay resolutely on your face. "She's okay. The drill is exciting. You're shirtless, you know."
You spin on your heel and back into your room. Your heart a jack hammer, you sieve through clothes until a rumpled t-shirt that smells of deodorant but not sweat appears and shrug into it.
Junie has a much better selection of clothes. You pick out some matching pajamas for her and a thick pair of socks and tuck them under your arm with her changing matt.
When you return this time, Eddie's drilling a third and fourth hole into the wall next to the door and Junie's watching with the teat of her bottle in her mouth, chewing but not drinking. You lay her mat down on the floor and grab her with a big sigh.
"Alright, Junie, let's get you all fresh for bed."
You change her diaper and she doesn't misbehave too much, Eddie's general presence a distraction. Soon she's sitting in your lap, dressed in new pajamas and smelling of talcum powder and baby creams, her wool socks soft as you rub your thumbs into the instep of her feet.
You sit on the floor watching Eddie drill the screws into the deadbolt frame. Junie slouches against you, her head digging into your chest and her tired arms struggling to hold up her bottle. You hold it up for her, watching Eddie's hands and his arms, how they move. Muscle and ligament tense under the skin, tattoos warping, his bats propelled into flight.
"I like your tattoos," you say.
Eddie stops drilling to look over his shoulder. "What?"
"I- I like your tattoos."
He lights up. His back straightens out and he turns back to the lock, giving the last screw a final good twist. The door makes a groaning protest and then it's quiet. Just Muppet Babies, Junie's soft suckling and the compliment you'd given adrift in the room.
"They're pretty sweet," he allows. You can hear how pleased he is though he won't look at you.
"They're cool. Have you had them long?"
Eddie starts to tell you all about them, fiddling with something you can't see on the door.
Junie decides that she doesn't want to be sitting anymore and turns in your arms, hands coveting your neck. You lift her into your chest and rub circles in her back, the weight of her emptying bottle on your shoulder. Soon, her small arms go lax. There's a rush of air as her lips open from the teat and the bottle tumbles to the rug with a dull thud.
He pulls open the door. Cool air rushes in. He closes it, slides the deadlock into place, and then pulls hard to make sure it won’t come free.
It’s solid.
He laughs triumphantly and Junie stirs. You pat her back and make some quiet shushing sounds and Eddie turns around, a slip of his teeth on show as he grimaces.
"Sorry," he whispers.
You shake your head. "You're amazing. Thank you."
If his cheeks weren't pink they are now. He leans into it, hiding one cheek behind his hair. "Stop," he says, exaggerated.
"I'll make it good, I swear," you whisper, covering Junie's ear with your hand. "I'll make you the best dinner ever. I'm the best at Kraft's mac and cheese, or-" You flush hot, realising that mac and cheese might not be the treat you think it is to him. "Or we can order in," you say, doing the maths in your head. You can't afford it, but maybe Benny-
"Kraft's mac and cheese? You're spoiling me."
You beam.
Eddie cleans up the small mess he's made. You're afraid to move quite yet in case Junie's not really sleeping, though she's a dead weight in your arms, and you watch Eddie walk through the room with both caution and ease.
"Oh, you don't have to do that,” you say.
He folds the baby blanket in his hands and puts it back on the armrest of the couch before moving on to the stickle bricks, not looking at you as he says, "Just earning my wage, doll."
You can't watch him clean your home. You wrap a tight arm around Junie and rise to your feet. Eddie sees your approach and his movements grow faster, rushing to clean up the mess before you can stop him. You don't know who starts first but you're both laughing as you grab his wrist.
"Stop!" you whisper, mock-furious. "Stop cleaning."
"Sh, you'll wake the baby."
You shake your head in bemusement. "I'm gonna go set her down. Then mac and cheese."
"Take your time. Lots of things for me to clean up out here," he says with a mock sincerity.
You drift down the hall and turn back to sneak a glance at him. He's pulled Muppet Babies out of the TV and is rewinding it around his thumb, a small smile on his lips as he hums the theme tune to himself.
With Junie finally in bed for the night you take a quick peek at yourself in the mirror on your nightstand and cringe. You look tired. You give yourself a big smile and feel better; a smile makes even your most exhausted features look pretty.
You slap on some chapstick. You know, to counter your dry lips. It shines.
Slipping out of the bedroom, you close the door as quietly as you can manage.
Eddie's standing at the end of the hallway. You expect to feel scared. Instead, you’re perplexed.
"Hi?" you whisper.
"Can I use the bathroom?"
You laugh. "Yeah. Course you can."
You have to pass each other in the hallway. His hip bumps your hip, a short rub of fabric.
You're still thinking about it when he finds you behind the stove, half asleep with your face in your hand. It's the kind of tired where your eyes keep slipping shut, not aching so much as blurry with a heavy head.
"You okay?" he asks quietly, sitting down at your cramped table.
You hum. "Hm. Just tired." You give him a guilty smile as you tip the bigger portion into his bowl. "Sorry. Mac and cheese with bacon bits for you, my hero."
"Thanks, sweetheart."
The fatigue ebbs a little.
Eddie’s easy to talk to. He makes you laugh. When you say goodnight, he looks back over his shoulder twice.
-
It's a funny coincidence that Eddie sees you Friday night. He never grocery shops on a Friday but he knowd when his uncle gets home in the morning there won’t be anything for him to eat after his shift. He takes a sharp turn towards the TV dinners and there you are at the bottom of the aisle with Junie in the seat of the cart. You're talking to her like you'd talk to anyone, though you didn't sound so saccharine sweet over mac and cheese. Close, but not quite.
"What do you want?" you're asking. "Ham and pineapple or mini pepperoni?"
Junie holds her hands out for both boxes. You let her take them and the two of you puzzle over the pizzas, heads bent together.
"Pepperoni, right?" you ask her, quietly enough that he almost misses it.
"Peroni," Junie agrees. You let her keep the box and put the other one back in the freezer.
"Pepperoni," you correct, absentminded.
"Peroni."
"Pepper-roni." You sound it out slow, looking at a scrap of paper in your hand.
"Pepper."
"You'll get there. Do you think we need shampoo this week?" You start jovial, but quickly lose your sprightliness. "Maybe I can put some water in the bottle and just… shake it up. No, we definitely need it."
Eddie watches you look over the cart. He knows exactly what you're thinking, What can I put back?
"Hey!" he calls, walking a little faster to try and hide how he'd been listening.
You turn on the spot and smile as soon as you see him. Junie, to his delight, is even more excited.
"Hi," she says, hands thudding along the cart's handlebar.
"Hi, Junie. How's my favourite neighbour?"
She babbles.
"I'm psyched to hear it. How about you, sweetheart?" he asks, parking his cart next to yours.
You're looking very tired. Still in your work uniform with a hoodie thrown over the top and your smart flats swapped for a pair of converse with the laces undone. You pinch your cheeks up into a big smile. He guesses that with a baby you've gotten very used to hiding how you feel.
You don't hesitate to lay it down thickly. "I'm really good."
"Yeah? How's Junie liking daycare?"
You cover your hands with your sleeves. "She loves it. Loves napping again. She-" You frown. "She doesn't like the mornings. Dropping her off. But after." You nod with a tentative smile "Yeah, it's nice to pick her up."
"Uh-huh. How's work?"
"What?"
"How's work for you? How's Benny's?" he prods.
"You're asking me about work?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Nobody ever asks about work," you say.
You can't look at him as soon as you've said it, your eyes moving back to the grocery list in hand. It's an old envelope, and it crinkles under your squeezing fingers.
"Sorry," you mutter.
Eddie bites back a frown. "Well, I'm asking."
He holds out his hand for the list and you give it without thinking. He adores your handwriting the second he sees it, scanning the list for anything in this aisle.
"Hey, tell me about it," he prompts at your silence, pushing his cart. It takes you a millisecond to catch up, but when you do you're near frenetic.
"Well, I messed up like, five different orders today. And when I had Junie it was like they didn't care 'cos she's cute, but now she's not there they get pretty angry pretty quickly."
"She's like a magic item."
"Right," you say, sounding like you have no idea what he's talking about. "She was my lucky charm. 'N now when I mess up I gotta practically beg some of those guys to leave Benny alone. He's too nice to me already."
"Are they all terrible?"
"No, the regulars, guys in there everyday, they're all great. They're too generous. Benny's too generous. I know he's fluffing up my tip jar. I hate that. I don't want him-" You flinch. It's strange. Eddie takes a small step closer to you and waits for you to continue, but you've lost all steam. "Sorry, I don't mean to weigh you down with all of this."
"I asked. And I get it."
"I don't want him to feel sorry for me."
"Hey," he says, reaching out for a box of cereal on your list. He presents it to Junie and shakes it around, "who said anything about all that?"
"No, I know, I just-"
Junie smiles her approval and he chucks the cereal in your cart with a rattle of metal. "I'm not trying to make you feel worse, I swear. I get it. I- You said he's a nice guy, right? So maybe he doesn't feel sorry for you at all. Maybe he just likes you. He owns that place. I don't think it hurts him to put an extra twenty in your tips."
Junie reaches up. You turn to her and lean down until your face is a few inches from hers. "I wish I didn't need it," you say quietly.
"I know."
Junie puts her hand on your cheek.
You sniff, not crying or anything like that, only breathing. "Thanks, Junie," you murmur.
"Mommy," she says. She sounds a little concerned.
"Let's go get something yummy, baby." You stroke her face lightly. "I'm thinking canned peaches. Or pears, um. Fruit cocktail. And condensed milk," you add, sounding unsure.
"I got a can or two of that laying around," Eddie says, because he knows that shit is expensive. "Wayne hates sweet stuff."
"I couldn't-"
"You let me come over for one of those mini pizzas and I'll bring the dessert," he says, like he knows you'll say yes. He doesn't know. Eddie Munson’s an expert in pushing his luck.
Junie starts clapping her hands together.
"I think she's decided," you say.
-
You're terrible with a can opener. You whine to yourself as you struggle to get open the second can. Eddie had insisted on peaches and pears and fruit cocktail, because he wanted to try them all apparently. And then some dramatic speech about little kids getting spoiled.
You can hear him now in the living room with Junie. They're laughing in a way that you're worried about, that guilty, hushed giggling that raises your hackles.
"Shush," Eddie says, faux-angry, "your mom's gonna hear."
"Shush," she repeats with much more enthusiasm.
"You shush! Look, don't do that, Junie, you're gonna get it tangled in your hair," he says.
You carry the can and can opener with you into the living room. Something about tangled hair gets your heart racing.
"Eddie, please don't let her get stickies in her hair," you say quickly.
"They're called stickles," he says, dropping back onto his hands, head over his shoulder to give you a bright-eyed smile.
"I know what they're called. Junie can't say stickles."
"Stickles," she says.
"She couldn't when I got them," you amend.
He's up quicker than you can really take in, hands extended. "Let me do it," he says.
He works the can out of your fingers. It's more contact than you've had with somebody who wasn't your daughter in a very long time and it leaves you shell-shocked. Eyes on his nice hands, bigger than yours with thicker fingers and his riot of rings. He presses the can to his chest and hooks the opener, peeking between it and you intermittently.
"Go see what we made for you," he encourages. "I'll do it."
His arm brushes yours as he moves to the kitchen and that's worse than his fingers. You rub where he'd touched and drop down on your knees next to Junie, looking over the stickle bricks with a smile. It's a heart, poorly construed and of tens of colours. It falls apart when she tries to pick it up so you help her remake it, cooing.
"Thanks, baby. This is for me, huh? You're so sweet." Your voice drops to a murmur. "My sweet girl. Wanna cuddle?"
You open your arms out and she doesn't seem very interested. "Please?" you ask, vying for her waist.
She lets you pull her into your lap. When you actually start to hug her she does her lovely melting thing that she always does, a floppy fish in your arms but with tiny squeezing hands. You giggle at her antics and lift her up so her face falls into your neck.
"Thanks for my heart, Junebug." She snuggles her head into your neck, hair squished to your skin. "I love you," you whisper, rubbing her back.
"The works," Eddie announces grandly as he appears, two bowls in hand.
"Eddie, that's too much for her."
"She's a growing girl."
"A growing girl with a tiny tummy," you say turning her around in your arms. "Tell you what, you have that one," you point to the biggest one, "and we'll share that one."
"How about you share the big one?" he asks, though it hardly sounds like a question. He sits down and places the bowl in her lap.
You grab the spoon before she can and stir up some of the fruits. "Wow, look at this! You gonna say thanks? Thanks Eddie.”
She doesn’t say thanks — her mouth is too far open to form words. You make quick work of shovelling fruit and condensed milk inside, chilled enough that she shivers in your arms.
“Yeah, that’s good,” you say agreeably.
She gets enthusiastic enough to take the spoon and you let her, even when she totally mauls the food, eating so loudly that Muppet Babies becomes inaudible.
Eddie eats slowly. You can feel his gaze. “You’re not gonna have any?” he asks.
You’d felt it coming. Your answer is clumsy anyways. “No, I will. I just… I always have her leftovers,” you say, sheepish.
He stands up.
You’re gonna ask why when Junie tips fruit down your legs, cold on the naked skin of your ankle. You dab at your pajamas with a small sigh. There’s no point in getting upset. She’s a messy eater but they all are at this age. Honestly, it’s nice to see her attempting to use a spoon rather than her hands.
“You’re doing a good job,” you say. You’re not totally sure who you’re talking to.
“Tada!” Eddie cheers, wielding a third bowl of fruit. “Swap with me?”
“What?”
“You think Junie’ll come sit in my lap?” he asks. He doesn’t wait, really. He holds out the bowl and you take it on impulse as he sits down heavily.
He takes her into his lap with a cheerful groan. “Oh, c’mere, sweetheart. There’s enough milk on your chin to bake a cake.” He wipes it with his hand. He doesn’t so much as wince at the mess.
You stare. He eases the spoon out of her grip and scrapes up a half-spoonful of what looks like pear and feeds it to her with the same kind of deftness of hand that’d taken you months to learn.
He can feel your gaze, evidently, because he looks up. There, you catch it, that slither of insecurity he hides well.
You pick up your bowl and start eating. It’s the nicest thing you’ve eaten in almost two years. You’d die for Junie. You’d do worse. But to eat, to know she’s fed — gorged — to know you can sit here and eat this whole bowl of fruit all to yourself and you won’t have to put it down, that’s heaven. It’s better, because you never let yourself have anything nice if you can help it.
The fruit turns to a lump in your throat and you swallow it, sniffling. Your lashes grow heavy with unshed tears and you keep your gaze resolutely on your dessert. When was the last time you had something this nice all to yourself? When was the last time somebody ever went out of their way to be this nice?
It’s a small gesture and a huge one. A tear dribbles down your cheek. You lick it away and keep on eating.
-
Eddie starts to come around every Friday. It’s a good deal; you make dinner and he makes dessert. After that first time he makes it his mission to give you heaping bowls too much to eat most of the time. Soon, he’s coming a few days a week, not always long, sometimes until the late hours, though you tell him desserts are a Friday only occasion. He complies grudgingly.
You make your first friend in years, and it’s so sweet you don’t know what to do with yourself.
Or what possesses you to offer to cut his hair.
Eddie's sitting on the couch with Junie, his big thigh to her little one and a picture book spread between them whilst you clean the kitchen. He's not reading to her – she's trying to read to him. She can't read, of course, but she can remember some of the words in relation to the pictures. She pokes at the blue cat and says blue. She pokes at the blue dog and says blue. She also points at the red cat and says blue. It's a learning curve.
Eddie gives corrections and encouragements just as you would. You smile at him from behind your cup of water.
"He's red, sweetheart," he murmurs, arm around her shoulder to hold the book's edges. "Red cat."
"Red cat," she repeats with enough accuracy to make you choke on your water.
Eddie gasps almost as loud as you do. "Right! Red cat! You're so smart, junebug, I can't believe it," he praises, squeezing her shoulder. His gaze meets yours and he smiles.
You send him back your sweetest smile. If he wasn't always so nice to you you'd like him anyway because of how he treats Junie, like she's the fucking sun.
She gets so excited when other people are happy that she starts laughing, standing up and trampling all over his legs to give him a hug. She's given him half hugs, she's fallen asleep by his side and loves to pet his hair, but this is a proper, tactile hug. Her arms wind around his neck with purpose and as soon as his surprise has faded he brings his arms up to hug her in turn, laughing delightedly.
"You're such a smarty-pants," he praises, rubbing her back with a boyish brashness.
She squeals as he squeezes her, his fingers digging into her ribs. Never cruel, only tickling her. She eats up every second of it and buries her face in his neck, laughing her wound up baby laugh that always brings a smile to your face.
"Ooh, she's so smart. First blue, then red. Next you'll be saying indigo, and vermillion, and-"
He cuts off when Junie gets one of her nails caught in his hair. She jolts and whines like it hurts and he goes rigid. You move forward to play mediator but he's already pulling her away gently and making small shushing sounds. "Chill out," he chides lightly, "I got it. Here." He pulls the hair from under her fingernail and rubs the pad of his thumb over her hand. "Sorry, I'm sorry," he apologises, pouting at her scowl. He envelops her hand in his and waves it around. "Forgive me?"
She doesn't learn her lesson, pushing her hands back into his hair, probably less kind than what’s ideal. Eddie doesn't flinch.
You sit on the armrest gingerly. "Can I ask you something?"
Eddie looks over Junie’s head. "What's that?"
"Have you always had long hair?"
He doesn't balk. "No, of course not. I fu-" He clears his throat. "My mom was the best, and I fit in just like everybody else growing up. When I ended up with Wayne I was-" He smiles. It's the kind of rueful grimace that says, You didn't ask for this.
You smile encouragingly.
He drops his gaze to Junie, worming his arms around her in a loose hug as she continues to play with his hair. "I was mad about everything, and I remember him asking when I wanted to get my hair trimmed and I said ‘never’. Took a few years for it to grow past the awkward stage," he bares his teeth and nods toward his shoulder, as if allowing his past misdemeanour. "But now I'd say it looks pretty sweet."
"I love your hair," you say.
Eddie beams. "You don't think it's too long?"
Emboldened by his reaction, you slip off of the armrest to sit next to him, turning in until your knees touch. Junie, loyal as she is, climbs straight into your lap with a babble.
You pat her back with one hand and raise the other cautiously for permission. Eddie flares his eyes wide, as if to say, You want to? Go on.
You take a lock of his hair between your fingers like Junie had moments before. "I like it like this."
"But?"
You look at the ends, an inch of limpness where the rest curls. "You haven't had it cut since you were a kid?"
"Maybe not that long, but it's been a while. I do it myself sometimes." He gestures to his bangs. He speaks quietly. A rarity though not unknown for him to be so hushed.
You tuck the curl you'd been examining behind his ear carefully.
"Do you think my hair looks good?" you ask.
"Sh- Sorry, of course I do. I swear I was gonna-"
You shake your head, laughing. "Not like that. What I mean is, I cut my own hair. I cut Junie's, too, and I could do yours if you wanted me to."
He goes quiet.
"Only if you wanted. I know it's a lot of trust, so-"
"Would you do it now?"
You hold Junie's head away from yours to prevent a loving headbut. "Right now?"
"I'm in dire need."
He throws his big brown puppy dog eyes your way and you couldn't say no if you wanted to.
You explain how he needs to get it wet first and how the shower head in the bathroom doesn't detach. "It's, like, built into the wall."
"I could go home, come back?" he suggests.
"I can do it over the sink?"
-
Eddie can't remember the last time somebody washed his hair for him. He knows there must've been a time, some place in his life where his mom or dad had done it for him. He thinks that, if he'd asked, Wayne would've tried it once or twice growing up, but now Eddie's most definitely at the age where having his hair washed is a foreign luxury.
And it does feel luxurious.
It shouldn't; the sink basin is very small as they tend to be in the trailer kitchenettes – small sink, small stove, small small small – and Eddie has to crane his neck. Already the space between his shoulder blades aches from being bent over, and he can't breathe well, smothered by steam.
But your hands. One shields his eyes from run off, a gesture unnecessary and far from lost on him, while the other massages shampoo into his scalp. He'd been surprised when you started because you hadn't mentioned washing his hair, and he'd said, "You don't have to do that."
You'd hummed. "Well, it's kind of a waste not to."
That was that.
Your nails scratch lightly against his scalp and if his eyes weren't already closed they would've fluttered shut. He nibbles his lip and tries very hard not to show outwardly how nice it feels. Your left upper arm rubs against his back as you scrub at his roots, your right soaking wet beside his face, covering his eyes uselessly. He doesn't mention it. All this touching, he doesn't want it to end.
Your proximity honest-to-God sets him on fire. Your body pressed to his is a flame over his ribs.
"Maybe we shouldn't cut it at all," you say, stroking wet bangs away from his forehead. "It's soooo long."
"Can’t do it?" he teases.
"Keep your eyes closed, okay? I'm gonna rinse."
It's a comforting process. You dip your cup into the water. It fills with a wet glug, the rim shushing against the basin's bottom. You hold it over his head and pour carefully, heat caressing his scalp as the soap is washed away.
It's over too soon. You grab the towel you'd procured and tuck it around his shoulders, wringing all the excess water from his curls back into the sink. You encourage his head up wordlessly and he stands there, arms useless against the countertops edge, water sloughing down his face as you press the ends flat between your hands.
You lift his head and push his hair back with your hands, raking your fingers through it and laughing as soon as his face appears. "Eddie! I'm sorry, you're totally drowning."
He chuckles. They fade away as you pinch the corner of the towel and start to dab his face dry, dragging the rough material over his cheeks with an expression he can't read on your pretty features. Almost pensive, not quite.
"There," you say under your breath. "Saved you."
"My hero."
You smile at him softly before spinning on your heel. "I gotta find the hairbrush. And the good scissors." You look into the living room quickly and then turn to the hall leading to your bedroom.
Eddie looks into the living room too. Junie's not upto much, only watching TV, unusually subdued. He doesn't disturb her despite the itch to go over and play.
One of the muppets starts laughing about something and she laughs too.
"What are you smiling about?" you whisper from behind him.
"Nothing," he says quickly.
You raise your eyebrows. "She has a nice laugh, right? Doesn't matter how bad I feel, she laughs and everything's okay for a little while."
He feels a fond stab in his chest. "Her laugh's like yours."
"I guess we do sound the same."
You do, but it's not really what he'd meant.
The metal sound of scissors snapping. You wield them at him faux-threateningly and shepherd him into a chair you've dragged to the middle of the kitchen.
Eddie fights goosebumps as you pull a brush through his hair, loses when you take a lock at the front between two fingers and stop about an inch and a half from the end.
"I'm gonna do that much, okay?"
You're a quiet hairdresser. Eddie doesn't care, he can talk for Indiana, but there's something so sweetly simple about the quietude, just your hands in his hair, the snipping of your scissors and Junie's occasional excited chattering. You start to hum a song Eddie doesn't recognise about halfway through. It's melancholy. He doubts you realise what you're doing.
You draw silent as you round to the front. Eddie watches your hands work for what feels like hours. You have really pretty hands, not perfect, burnt fingertips and neat little nails. They smell like honey hand soap.
You pull two locks from the front together to make sure they're the same length. His curls will hide any discrepancy, he knows from experience, but he doesn't want to tell you that. Selfishly, he wants that extra time with you this close.
You work your way between his legs to comb his half-dried bangs. Eddie looks up at you with wide eyes.
"You want me to trim these, too?" you ask quietly.
"If you please."
You huff a laugh through your nose and start to trim his bangs carefully. He closes his eyes, and maybe it's the fact that he can't see you that gives him the confidence to reach out for your hip, a touch that can't be defined as amicable. He curls his fingers into the soft material of your shirt and feels the heat of your skin underneath.
You draw closer, as close as you can be.
"What made you decide on bangs?" you ask.
"Zits, mostly."
He can feel your laugh under his hand.
"I used to… I used to powder my face," you confide, a murmur, "like, an inch thick to try and hide everything. Being pregnant makes you so-" You pause to snip some hair, comb it away. It tickles his face. "Well, it makes you spotty. Or it made me spotty. It actually made me really sick."
"That's must've sucked," he says earnestly.
"It- Yeah. I guess it did. I don't know."
He hadn't meant to bring up something unhappy, but he's hungry to know. "Were you on your own?"
"Mostly."
"What was the worst part?"
"Being scared all the time."
He'd been expecting morning sickness or aching feet. "You were scared?"
"I honestly thought I was gonna die, Eddie."
He opens his eyes and leans back in his chair, hand flexing over your hip, as he tries to tamp down his surprise.
"It was," you mess with his bangs with the tip of your ring finger, "hard. I felt sick all the time, and when I didn't I would make myself sick worrying about her. What if I eat something or I catch something and it hurts her? What if- what if it all works out perfectly and then I can't look after her?"
"Did it work out perfect?"
You rub your lips together. "Uh, I guess so. It took a long time, and it hurt," you sound especially unhappy with that part.
He strokes up your waist, wanting to soothe the small crease between your eyebrows. "By yourself?"
"Yeah, by myself."
"I'm sorry."
You tuck his hair behind his ear and grin at him. "Now what are you sorry for?" Your hand lingers near his cheek. Slowly, you turn it, pressing the knuckle of your index finger into the skin under his eye and rubbing a small line. He worries he’s in love with you right then and there. "Not like you're the one who knocked me up."
You drop your hand and Eddie really doesn't want you to go anywhere, his grip kind but steadfast, bringing the other arm behind your back in a loose hug. "Who was it?"
"Just some guy. Nobody. Nobody worth thinking about."
"How old were you?" he asks.
"Why are you asking me all this stuff?"
"I wanna know about you."
You bring your hands to the towel around his neck and pull on it mildly. "I was sixteen. Seventeen when I had her."
He drags his fingertips up and down the small of your back lightly, almost like he's playing guitar. "I'm sorry you were all by yourself. That young. When I was sixteen I was still watching The Bugs Bunny Show."
You giggle and your hands move up to the side of his neck. He can hardly breathe, afraid to dispel whatever enchantment it is that he's under.
"Could be worse, huh? I'm nineteen and I still watch Muppet Babies," you joke.
"Why wouldn't you? It's the pinnacle of modern television."
"Yeah?"
Your beaming smile hits him straight in the chest. He thinks about how beautiful you look and can't stop, hiding his face in your stomach to stop from saying something stupid, laughing loud. You laugh in tandem, hugging the back of his head until your giggles peter out.
A small hand on his arm. You both turn at the same time and find a very unhappy Junie.
"What?" you ask her. Then, teasing, "Are you jealous?"
You lean down to pick her up. Eddie's gutted to lose your touch and then quickly exuberant when Junie ducks out of your arms to grab at his legs.
"Oh my god, yes," he says, holding out his hands.
Junie tries to take them and he slips them under his arm, pulling her onto his thigh with a big sigh. The sigh is half the fun, a theatrical reluctance when really he's always happy to have her climbing on him.
As soon as she's in his lap she's pleased, turning her head so she can watch the TV across the room.
You roll your eyes at his smug smile. "Shut up. She just wants what other people have."
"And you had me?"
"Shut up, Munson, seriously," you say. You don't sound half as mad as you're trying to.
Eddie takes a drying curl between his fingers and pokes at the side of Junie's face. "Whatever you want, sweetheart," he says, grinning when your daughter starts to squirm on his thigh.
He grins at her and tickles her until she's curling in with her chin dropped to her chest, smiling despite herself.
His fondness colours every word as he croons, "I got you."
Junie sounds about as outraged as a toddler can be when he tickles her nose and then drags the tip of the freshly trimmed curl under her eye. He draws a big circle around one of her cheeks until it's kissing her chin. She dissolves into giggles while squirming to get away from him and so he stops, only for her to blink and tug at his wrist.
He tickles her until she's screaming.
You pause on your knees where you'd been sweeping up his trimmed hair to look up at her and he's struck with guilt. "Y/N, you don't have to do that. I'll do it."
"No, you're okay."
Eddie finds his gaze drawn to your thighs, spread out as they are in your kneeling position, and then stolen by Junie as she almost topples off of his lap.
"I think…" he begins quietly, speaking to Junie though it's just as much for you, "that your mom deserves something nice for my haircut. What do you think?"
"I don't think that," you say.
"Wasn't asking you," he says seriously. Back in baby mode he continues, "What's mommy like, huh? What's her favourite thing in the whole world, besides you?"
"Sleep," you say.
"Well, I can't help you there."
"You help me there all the time. Junie sleeps like a log every Friday."
"Food coma," he says knowledgeably.
"You really don't have to get me anything, Eddie. My services were administered charitably."
He pushes his hands behind Junie's back and pulls her to his chest before standing. When he has her secure in one arm he pulls the chair back to your small table and tucks it in.
"Get up," he says to you. "I'll do it, alright? Swap with me."
You ignore him until he starts kicking you in the leg. "You're ridiculous!"
"You're ridiculous. Seriously, get up. You're not a serf." He returns your glare. "I'm a big boy, I can clean up after myself."
"It's my house."
"If you don't let me-"
"Christ! Okay." You drop the dustpan and brush sullenly, wiping your hands together as you stand before taking Junie out of his arms. "I'll make dinner."
"No you won't! I'm gonna order takeout," he says factually, already on his knees and sweeping.
"No you're not."
"I am. Me and June already talked about it. She's craving Marino's pizza."
"I'm not gonna let you use the phone."
"I'll walk to my place and order the pizza to here."
"Eddie-"
"Why are you being a hardass?" he asks.
"Fine! God, clean up your gross hair and order your stupid pizza. You're making me crazy," you say, collapsing onto the sofa with a little oomf, Junie's weight hitting you hard in the chest. She moves into a sitting position and pulls your shirt up, hands moving across the space under your chest.
Eddie throws himself into cleaning all the mess you'd made for him, the hair and the towel and the sopping wet draining board. He washes the dirty baby bowl on the side and fills up one of Junie's bottles with water, then a glass for you. He hasn't seen either of you drinking a thing since he's been here, likely his fault for distracting you.
He's about to call for pizza when he peers past the cabinets and sees you dozing on the couch. He decides pizza can wait until tomorrow; it's later than he realised.
Junie's halfway across the room with Mr. Bear playing make believe. She talks and talks and talks, gibberish to him but what's likely an unending, complicated storyline, no doubt.
Eddie approaches with the bottle already outstretched. "Junie," he says, and when she doesn't answer, "Junebug. Junie. Junie." Each iteration of her name softer and sweeter than the first, hoping to entice her in.
He holds the bottle in front of her face.
She finally looks up with a pout.
"For you," he says, offering the water.
She seems mildly interested as she takes it, turning back to her teddy and talking around the teat like it's not there.
You're struggling to keep your eyes open. Eddie gives the room a quick once over before kneeling down in front of you, tugging your shirt down to cover your exposed tummy as he says, "I should head home."
You blink at him and turn onto your side, cheek squishing into the couch cushion.
"Okay? Why don't you and Junebug head to bed?" he asks, using a tone not far from what he'd use with your daughter.
"You know, her full name's Juniper," you whisper.
He didn't know. "Really? I love that."
You wrinkle your nose, sounding very tired as you continue, "But someone told me it sounded like a name for a cat. So I've called her Junie ever since."
"It doesn't sound like a cat's name," he placates. "It's beautiful. You chose well."
"Yeah?"
Eddie smiles at you fondly, eyes tracing down your nose to your lips, shiny with balm. He tilts his head to the side to mimic yours. He could kiss you.
"Sounds like the name of an elf. Juniper Lightfoot, or… Goldwind. She could even be a mage. Juniper the Brave."
"Juniper the Loveliest," you say, and then grin. "Juniper the Hungriest."
"Juniper the All Great and Hungriest," Eddie says decidedly.
"Would you make her a hero, in your game?" you ask.
"Of course I would. She wouldn't even need to divide, she'd just conquer."
"What about me?"
"What, would you be a hero?"
You nod. He doesn't know why, but he thinks his answer is going to hold a lot of weight with you.
"You would be," he starts quietly, words painted slowly as he raises a hand to rest on your wrist, pinky finger spread over the hill of your thumb, "a fighter. With insight and survival."
"I don't know what that means," you say.
He leans in. "It means yes, you'd be a hero. You'd save kingdoms. Slay dragons." He squeezes your wrist.
"I think I better leave all that stuff for Junie. I'll just cheer you guys on from the sidelines."
"You're her mom, she can't do it without you. And even if she could I bet she wouldn't want to. Where's all the fun in guts and glory if you can't share it?" he asks, rubbing his thumb over your skin.
Your eyes shut. Eddie doesn't know if it's from fatigue or a want to end this conversation. He feels marginally embarrassed for descending into nerd metaphor with you, but he thinks it's the kind of thing you needed to hear. He thinks if Junie could understand how often her mom prioritises her and misses out for her she'd want to fix that. Eddie doesn't know you half as well as she does and it breaks his heart sometimes to watch you insist on a smaller portion, to watch you put things back at the grocery store because she wants a box of milk duds, even to watch you wear yourself out ironing baby clothes in the only pair of pajamas you own.
"Make sure you lock the deadbolt behind me," he says carefully. You hum. He gives your wrist one last squeeze.
Junie looks tired in that she's getting agitated, whimpering under her breath. Eddie ducks down to give her upper arm a good rub. "Why don't you go cuddle with your mom?" he asks her, turning her by the shoulder so that you're in her eye-line. "Go have a lie down."
He doesn't know whether what he says makes any difference but you extend your arms out and Junie walks towards you, big staggered steps that make him laugh to himself as he pushes into his unlaced converse.
"Don't forget to lock up," he says in place of a farewell.
"Goodnight, Eddie," you say.
He waves. You're both too tired to wave back.
He's surprised to find his Uncle Wayne still home when he gets in, shoving into his work boots with a grunted hello.
"Hey."
"Did you cut your hair?" Wayne asks, perplexed, a little gruff.
"Junie's mom did it for me."
"'Junie's mom,'" Wayne quotes dryly, slugging his bag over his shoulder. He's heard all about Junie's mom.
Eddie scratches the back of his neck and splutters when a big hand claps his back, a demonstration of Wayne's pity as he passes through the open door.
Eddie spins to watch him jog down the steps. "We're friends," Eddie calls.
"Don't be dumb," his uncle says without turning back.
"I'm not exactly known for being smart," Eddie says to himself, cheeks heated by a furious blush.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you for reading! | my masterlist | multi-chapter
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
summary: a birthday party brings eddie reluctantly back together with an old high school flame he hasn’t seen in two years.
word count: 7.7k
warnings: minors dni, smut, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie (?), swearing, afab reader, slight angst, hurt/comfort, reader initially doesn’t come off very well, use of drink and mention of drugs
a/n: i’m actually a little nervous about this one as it’s really the longest fic i’ve ever written and i haven’t really written like much in this way so please be kind to me! any feedback is really appreciated :)
Warnings: Make out sesh, sexual references, fluff, drug mentions
Word Count: 3.4k
notes: yes, yes this took me 3 days, why? that is a question that shall never be answered because I have no clue. ENJOY (sorry for all the wide spaces, I write on wattpad and then copy and paste onto here <3 )
Hopeless, you were utterly hopeless.
you’ve had a crush on the freak metal head for god know how long now. You constantly go on and on about how attractive he is, and how his music taste and outfit choices are so amazing.
You could talk about him for hours and hours, you’ve done it before actually. You swear Steve and Robin get sick of you constantly talk about him.
He comes in every Friday after school and picks out a new movie for the weekend, and returns the movie the next day, only to pick out another one for Sunday and you just drool over him watching as Steve helps him out. Because your to scared to talk to him. Steve tries to get out of it, but your already hidden in the back by the time he has a chance to reject you.
“Y/n, just talk to him,” Steve says with a shrug, “He isn’t scary what so ever,” He added to that, “I know, it’s just, what if I totally embarrass myself, make an utter complete fool of myself,” you said rolling your head back with a sigh.
“You won’t, just treat him like a normal customer,” Robin said, like it was that easy. “But he’s not a normal customer,” you groan, he was a regular customer, and one that you would die for.
“He is!” Steve and Robin both said at the same time, making you sigh once again. “Just, he normally comes in soon, all you have to do, is ask if he needs any help,” Steve says, walking out back. “Where are you going?” You call out, “Hiding before you can force me to do it,” Steve says locking himself in the back.
And then the bell rings, you turn to see dark shaggy brunette hair, old black jeans and a hellfire shirt. With a sigh Eddie walks into the shop, “God it’s hot out there,” he says with a smile and pushing his sweaty hair back, making your mouth drool.
“I can’t do this,” you say turning around, Robin grabs you and tried to push you back “You can!” She encouraged, but you couldn’t. You seriously might die, you pushed Robin just slightly, apologising as you run to the back. Steve had locked the first door so you took the second door out.
Disappointed and Regret washed over you, but also relief. You ran your fingers through your hair as you felt your heart start to slow down from its fast pace.
All this anxiety, all this love just for a metal head. That you’ve talked to maybe once this year, and even then it was only a small ‘hi’.
You thought of yourself as pathetic, a loser actually. Hopeless.
After waiting for about, twenty minutes. You slowly snuck back inside, and around the corner. To see Robin and Steve talking with each other, Eddie no where in sight.
You sat down in the chair and slammed your head down on the counter the in-front of you, groaning to yourself.
You felt a hand softly move over your back, “It’s okay, tomorrow,” Robin states, trying to comfort you. “Yeah, you’ve been saying that for awhile now,” Steve says, then Robin hits him harshly.
“Ow!” He says stepping back, confused but also knowing, “shut it!” She said, “At least she knows what she wants,” Robin growls at him and then continues to try and comfort you.
-
You didn’t end up speaking to him, in fact you actually locked yourself in the back room as soon as you saw the white van. Knowing Robin and Steve were gonna do everything in their power to try and get you to talk to him.
Sunday. You didn’t show for work, you heard from Steve that Eddie asked for you, but you didn’t believe them. You thought they were just trying to get your confidence up or something.
You went to work for the rest of that next week, and when Friday hit. Your body tensed up with nerves because, you were now forcing yourself to talk to him. You didn’t feel ready, but you didn’t care. You kept replaying the words “just a normal customer” in your head, to try and calm your nerves down.
And when you saw the white van you stood your feet hard on the ground, practically gluing them. But when you saw the metal head start to walk up to the door, you felt yourself turn around.
“Nope,” Robin said turning you back around, and pushing you to the front counter, you stumbled a little bit but straightened yourself up.
“Y/n, hey haven’t seen you in here in awhile,” he smiled to you, speak y/n! SPEAK!
“Yeah- I- well, yeah, it’s been, a number,” you say awkwardly, ‘what am I saying?’ You ask yourself, you look up to see his slightly confused expression.
“My- my uhh cat d-ied,” you lied, trying to save the conversation a bit, “Oh shit, sorry,” he stated, feeling bad for you. You groan to yourself at the stupid lie.
“It’s ok, I mean, it’s not, but yeah,” you were speaking fast, and stuttering over your words. His beauty making you want to collapse on the floor, the way his brown eyes moved down from your eyes to your lips, Wait? Did he just look at my lips? You realised for a second, noticing the small glance. A small blush forming on your face as you looked into his eyes.
You felt nervous looking so deeply into them, but so mesmerised at the same time. “So,” he started, taking you out of your little moment, “What are the top movie picks from Y/n herself today!” He said with a smile, coughing a little bit at the start.
“I- well, what genre?” You asked a bit quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. “I’m feeling horror, maybe romance,” he said leaning on the counter, getting closer to you. Making your nerves jump around like grasshoppers.
“Uhh, well you could do both?” You suggest, and with that he does a little nodd.
You proceed to walk around the counter, and towards the section you just said. Leaning down to grab out one of your favs, “The hunger, one of my favourites, not that my opinion matters but ya know,” you say handing it to him.
“Of course it does,” he says quickly after you, a small embarrassed blush forming over his face, that you didn’t really notice, your stomach flying with butterflies.
“I mean, your supposed to know the good movies from the bad, ya know?” He says with a small laugh.
“Yeah, or there’s always Christine,” you said going off a bit, “Oh, and of course My Bloody Valentine,” you say grabbing the two movies, “your pick,” you say with a small smile. Feeling some nerves wash away.
“I’ve seen Christine twice, but I’ll watch these two for sure,” he says with a smile, handing one of the VHS’s back, softly touching your hand as he gave it back. Making pins and needles crawl all over your arm.
“Ok,” you said staring right into his eyes, drooling over his touch, missing it already. “Thanks for the movies, I’ll see you tomorrow, get some new movies out for me sweetheart,” he said with a smile, and a small wink. His confidence washing over him for that small moment.
“Sweetheart?” You whisper after he left, you stood there in shock, “Did you hear that?” You softly asked Robin and Steve. “Yeah,” Robin said with a wide smile, you jumped into her arms and Steve’s smiling at the small nickname.
“You talked to him!” Robin exclaims, you felt so proud of yourself, and relieved honestly.
“I talked to him!” You screamed back at her, jumping in excitement. God you were still so pathetic over a simple conversation.
-
The next time he came in, you talked to him again. And again. And again! Until you finally felt ready to actually ask him out.
“Im gonna do it,” you walked into work that day, “do what?” Robin asked intrigued, “Ask him on a date,” you smiled widely, “Yeah right,” Steve scoffed, in which Robin threw the newspaper at him.
“I am!” You exclaimed, you felt a boost of confidence shoot over you, stepping around the counter, “You do,” Robin says with an encouraging smile. But you could see the doubt in her eyes, and you could definitely see the doubt in Steve’s face.
But you were gonna do this, or at-least try.
You watched as the regular customer walked in once again, you felt your knees weaken when seeing him in a tight white tank top, and black shorts. Sweat covering his forehead, and his breath a bit heavy.
“It’s like a sauna out there,” he laughed a little, “I bet,” Steve says, enjoying the cool air conditioning.
You were drooling, DROOLING over this man. He was so attractive you could just scream, you wanted to scream. You felt like fainting. But you could because you had an adrenaline/confidence boost. And it was not controlling you.
“Hey y/n,” he said walking up to the counter, leaning on it and feeling the coolness of it, “Hi,” you said, in a stutter. “You ok?” He asks then looking up at you.
You were drowning in his eyes, his puppy dog brown eyes. That you didn’t believe were actually real, nobody could say no to them.
“Fine,” you said with a smile, “just have something on my mind,” you say.
“What?” He asks standing up right again, brushing his hair back. You felt your heart pound in your chest, your mouth went dry and your palms began to sweat.
“I- I,” you stutter out, you were about to say it, but the words that came out of your mouth weren’t the ones you intended them to be, “I have a new movie suggestion,” you said.
Immediately groaning at yourself, you could just feel Steve’s eye-roll, and the ‘I told you’ look he had on.
“Wicked,” Eddie said with a smile, waiting for you to tell him what the movie was.
And then, you said something that actually made Steve’s eyes widened. And Robin do a little happy dance.
“The labyrinth, it uh, it came out yesterday, and I thought of you when I saw Bowie, I don’t know why but,” you said, anxiety filling your completely.
You looked into Eddie’s eyes, seeing a kind of hope in them, you couldn’t quite tell. But you finished off your sentence with “I was wondering if you, if you wanted to go? With me, tomorrow?” You asked.
Your nerves were shaking, you started to sweat a little and your face was such a bright red. You clenched your jaw, and tightened your fists, your knuckles going white.
“Like a date?” He asked with a small smirk on his face, his expression calming you a little, “Yeah,” you said, still nervous.
“I’d love to, how’s seven sound?” He asks raising his eyebrows, trying to hide the excitement in his voice.
You nod, all you do is nod. You were shocked, utterly shocked, two or so weeks ago you couldn’t even face him. Now you were going on a date with him. Internally you were freaking the fuck out, but externally. You couldn’t move.
You didn’t move as you watched him leave, a smile on his face. You just stood there, your anxiety washing away. But also filling you up. You were confused. And shocked.
“Holy shit, she actually did it!” Steve laughed a little, proud of you. He was an ass, but he was your best-friend.
“Y/n you did it,” he smiled widely giving you a small hug, as you stood there with no expression on your face, your body feeling numb, lips dry.
“she did it!” Robin jumped in hugging the both of you, as you still stood there.
“Y/n?” Robin called out, “earth to y/n?” Steve said shaking you slightly, you blinked a couple times, shaking your head, making yourself come back to reality. A wide and bright smile forming over your face, as you saw how happy the two of them were.
-
“This is way to much,” you said, looking at yourself in the mirror, wearing very pretty black summer dress that flows and that’s is perfect for the summer night.
“It is not!” Robin scoffs, looking at you. “It’s not,” Steve says ensuring you that it isn’t, and you sort of trust Steve with that. Knowing he’s been on more dates than he can count.
“Almost forgot,” Robin smiles, running over to your desk, grabbing your signature necklace that you’ve been wearing since you were twelve. It was a small bat, and it looked exactly like Eddie’s bat tattoo’s.
“Hair up or down?” Robin asks, you brush your hair out with your fingers and scruff it out a bit, “Steve’s the hair expert,” you say turning to him, he looks up at you from his book.
“Down, but bring a hair-tie just incase it gets hot,” he says with a small smile, you smiled back and grabbed the small dark blue scrunchy, placing it around your wrist.
You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, wearing converse and a dress, a little bit off makeup, and very subtle black eyeliner. That could only truly be noticed if up close.
You smiled at yourself one last time before hearing the doorbell ring, you gave Robin a small hug and Steve a high-five as you brought up all your confidence and walk towards the door of your shared apartment with Steve and Robin.
Eddie was standing in front of your door, his normal black jeans, but paired with a Metallica band shirt. He still had his rings around his fingers, and his guitar pic necklace.
“Hey,” you said shyly, a small blush over your face. He was so gorgeous, you couldn’t get him out of your mind. You got goosebumps from the way he smiled, looking you up and down.
“Hi,” he said softly, his smile lighting the whole room up, and forming a smile on your face, it was so contagious.
“You ready?” He asks holding his hand out, making your cheeks glow redder as you nod and take his hand, leading out to his van.
The scent of Eddie hit you as you jumped in the van, you loved it. Hints of cigarettes, weed and a unique scent that was just Eddie. You loved it, it made you smile widely.
You couldn’t help but feel utterly nervous though, you felt so shy and your anxiety was off the roof. But honestly, his scent, and him slightly calmed you.
-
During the movie you couldn’t help but glance at Eddie, sometimes catching him staring at you. You felt a sort of, sexual tension mixed with butterflies in your stomach and core.
Bowie’s character the goblin king started to sing Magic Dance. And you didn’t know why but you felt a sudden hit of confidence.
You looked down to Eddie’s hands, you didn’t think hands could be attractive until you saw Eddie’s, with his rings and bracelets. You softly grabbed it and placed it on your thigh.
Your hand was on top of his, you softly moved closer to him and leant beside him, letting his hand slowly move over your thigh. Your stomach was about to burst with butterflies, and you felt yourself get wetter by the second.
-
“I think that’s in my top five movies now,” you smiled walking out of the theatre. “Really? I think the only good thing about it was Bowie,” Eddie said with a small laugh, “your joking!” You exclaimed shocked, “Yeah,” he laughed a little, you playfully hitting him.
“You still got time to hangout? Or does your mother Steve want you home at a certain time?” Eddie asked opening the van door for you, letting you jump in.
“I think I can bend the rules of bedtime for you Munson,” you smiled, “Stevie won’t be happy,” he said in a ‘are you sure’ tone.
“Who cares about Steve right now? I don’t,” you said with a smile laugh, making him smile and shut the door going to his side.
Eddie drove a bit up out of Hawkins, it was only around fifteen minutes or so. He drove up a hill and when he came to a stop, he made you wait in the car, you heard him fiddling around with stuff in the back but you couldn’t see anything.
You jumped a little bit when Eddie opened your door without warning, which he apologised for with a small laugh. “Close,” he said softly picking up your hands, and covering your eyes with them. You trusted him, you didn’t even know him yet you trusted him.
He guided you only a few steps, before you heard him step back a little. “open,” he said, you took your hands off your eyes and saw the back of his van lit up.
A small light coming from the top, and two candles sitting far away from anything that could catch light. There was pillow over the floor with blankets, and when looking behind you, you just saw Jules Lake.
The prettiest thing in Hawkins, although it isn’t even in Hawkins. It was even more beautiful at night, the moon light reflecting on it, a small swing over the lake that you could get to by climbing the small tree.
“Eddie,” you softly said, completely shocked at what he had done, “F- for me?” You stuttered a little, knowing it was for you but just double checking, as to which he did a childish smile with a nod.
You smiled widely and hugged him tightly, “Thank you,” you whispered in his ear, it meant so much that he actually did this, this was gonna be the first of many dates and this one, would definitely be the most memorable.
You jumped in the back, a bag of chips in between you two, as you talked and laughed. Looking at the beautiful view in-front of you. But you honestly couldn’t decide if the beautiful view was Eddie or the lake.
“Can I say something, that’s honestly super cheesy,” he said, a small nervous laugh escaping him.
“Oh god, go on,” you said with a smile, preparing for the cheesy comment.
He took a small breath in and sighed before saying the sweetest shit ever, “when I first saw you, i think I died, because like. You are the most beautiful, most attractive person I have ever known in my whole god damn life,” you laughed nervously, anxious as to how you would take it.
You felt your heart actual drop, your stomach wasn’t filled with butterflies but with birds, literal birds flying within you, the heat of your core spreading over your legs and your brain was trying to process the words.
You quite literally were speechless, but you didn’t want to leave him sitting there wondering about your thoughts, so you moved the bag of chips over and crawled over to him, you slowly moved onto his lap, straddling over him. Hands tied around his neck, looking him right in the eyes, both of your eyes filled with desire and love. You lent down and softly kissed him, feeling so anxious that he might reject you but continuing anyways. And of course he didn’t, he kissed you back before your lips even touched.
He was sweet and gentle, but you could imagine him being rough if he wanted to be, you kissed him harsher and more intensely every-time his hips moved to get comfortable, it sent a wave of neediness and pleasure through you.
You pulled away for a moment, finally thinking of some words to say back “you know, I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to even serve you every Friday for months now,” you laughed a little at your anxiety.
“Months?” He questioned, shocked that a girl like you has liked him for months.
You softly nodded, “Your intimidating Munson,” you smiled at him, looking to his lips then back to his eyes.
“And your beautiful Y/l/n,” he replied with, making your heart die. Literally stop beating, you leant down and kissed him harder than before. Smiling into the kiss as you felt utterly happy that this moment finally came.
You were going to cherish this moment forever, no matter what happens between you and him, this moment will forever be implanted in your head as one of the best.
notes ; nsfw, grinding, thigh-riding, pet-names (baby), female orgasm, mentions of bodily fluids, cussing, MINORS DNI — 18+ ONLY !! (let me know if i forgot any)
reblogs and comments are always appreciated !!
i do not consent to having any of my works transferred, translated or copied to any other blog or social media. if you do so, it’s stealing, and that’s not cute!!
there was an ongoing build-up of friction. the heat between your legs growing as you lay with eddie. your legs wrapped around his side, encapsulating one of his between your own. and every time he moved in even the slightest, you fought the moans daring to escape your lips. he didn’t know what he was doing to you — that he was causing you such pleasure simply because he didn’t know how to be still.
“you want a drink, baby?” he asks, leaning towards the pile of discarded water bottles and beer bottles he had yet to clean up, to gather you a fresh one.
notes: this is also on my wattpad which is in my Tumblr Bio <3 (not proof read)
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You hated him because he looked to good, because his smile was perfect, you hated his scent and his voice. You hated him because he was perfect in your eyes, and you hated that because he hated you. And if he ever found out you thought of him like that, he would never stop teasing you and tormenting you. You were stubborn and strong headed. And now why did your brother have to become best-friends with him, it was stupid.
"That shirt looks stupid," you admitted to your youngest brother who was shoving pancakes down his throat, "Hey, be nice!" Your mother said to you, "What I'm being honest," you said sitting down at the table, "Your only saying that because you hate Eddie," he says, "True," you said with a smile, "Hate? More like love," your other annoying brother comes in the room and teases, "Shut up! That's disgusting," you gagged at his words, looking to your mother who was smiling at Jonathan, "I would never, ever like that pig," you said totally grossed out by there words, or were you?
"I hate you guys," you said downing your coffee and grabbing the keys to the car before Jonathan could, "You can walk Will to school today," you said with a smile, "Y/n, don't!" Jonathan started but you ran out the door, "Five!" You started to yell at them, meaning for them to hurry up and get ready, "Four!".
You arrived at school and gave the keys to your eldest brother, so he could actually go to work, "See you!" You shouted out to him and walked beside Will now, "Why don't you sit with us today?" Will asks, "I love you Will, I do but I'm never gonna sit with that douchebag," you said with a smile to yourself, "You, mike, Lucas and Dustin can come sit with me if you guys love me so much," you said wrapping your arm around his shoulder, "We can't," he said, "Why? I'm sure Munson won't totally freak out if you spend one lunch with your totally amazing awesome sister," you said rocking him a little as he walked beside you.
"I'll try, same spot?" He asked, you nodded and smiled at him, walking down the opposite hall from him.
You walked up to your tree, definitely disappointed when you didn't see your brother there, but for some reason in that moment you didn't care about Eddie, you thought if you quickly go up to them, steal Will, you and him could have some brother sister time.
So you did that, you walked into the disgusting, cafeteria and looked for your brother, finding him next to Dustin at the hellfire table, you didn't mind anyone there, besides Eddie, you walked up to the table and smiled at Will, "Hey, mind if I steal you?" You asked, "He's with us," Eddie immediately said, "I wasn't asking you was I?" You questioned him, "We need to discuss important hellfire business," Eddie states, "yeah, and I want to discuss important family business," you said back at him, "come on Will," you said, "Will don't," Eddie says, you rolled your eyes, stepped up to Eddie, "My brother is coming to hang out with me, if you threaten him by saying your gonna kick him out in anyway, I will shave your head and then shove it down your throat Munson," you said aggressively at him.
Slightly frightened actually, Eddie gulped and nodded, "Douchebag," you cursed under your breath and then grabbed your brother and walked off with him, "now, let's talk about Mike," you said with a smile on the way out of the cafeteria.
"I hate being like this y/n," he complained, "What? Gay?" You asked, he nodded at that, you sat up and moved closer to him, "Hey, don't ever be ashamed, I know it sucks but you'll find someone, i promise you your not the only one out there who's gay," you stated, "Our whole family is different, and weird and it sucks to be born into it, but you have to learn to deal with it, just as Jonathan did, and just as I did," you said with a soft smile, "I would never let anyone, or anything hurt you ever again ok?" You let him know that for sure, he nodded with a smile and hugged you.
"Are you sure you can't drive him tonight?" You asked Jonathan as you sat in his bedroom, "Yes, I'm meeting Nance in like ten minutes," he states, "cant you guys just like, drop him off when she picks you up?" You asked him, "Y/n, just walk him to the door and leave," Jonathan says, "yeah and if mum found out I left him there, she'll kill me," you state, "she'll do the same to me, just I'm sorry," he says with a sigh, you roll your eyes and flip on his bed, "Just be nice to Eddie, he won't expect it," he says, "What?" You question, "If you are nice, it'll be unexpected," he said, "yeah and he'll torture me, I've tried the nice card Jonathan, nothing works with him, he just loves to make my life harder than it is," you say with a groan.
You arrive at the school, Walk with your brother to the door, "Uh hell no!" Eddie immediately says when seeing you walk in with your brother, "I need to watch him Eddie," you complain, "Where's Jonathan? He normally comes," he states, "He's got a date with his older sister," you say pointing to Mike, "I don't wanna be here either ok, but I'll just be sitting in the corner," you said in an annoyed tone, "No, you can sit in the halls," he states, "It's fucking freezing out there Eddie," you say, you were tired, you couldn't deal with the bickering, "Whatever," he rolled his eyes and let you sit down in the corner.
"Jonathan, I don't care how much you think I have a crush on him, I'm not going over to his house!" You yelled at your brother, who was widely smiling in your face, while your other youngest brother ran around the house panicking about his friend ship bracelet he lost, "I took him there, you take him back," Jonathan said with a smile, "Jonathan!" You whined, "Can we please go now?" Will leaned on the door frame and asked, you looked up and nodded, "I hate you so much," you said to Jonathan before leaving.
"Can you knock?" You asked your brother and slightly pushed him forward, he rolled his eyes at you and knocked as you tapped your foot nervously, "Byers?" He questioned only noticing Will at first, "Y/n?" He questioned in an even more confused tone, and then his face slightly turning into a pissed off one, "Hey Ed, i um think my bracelet might've fallen off while I was here yesterday, do you mind if I look 'round?" Will asks with a nice smile, "Sure kid," he said opening the door, you stood there knowing he wasn't going to let you in, "You coming in?" He asks, you immediately furrowed your eyebrows extremely confused.
"Wouldn't want your precious body to get cold," he said, mocking you from the other night, you rolled your eyes and said "I would rather freeze than enter inside there," he scoffed at your tone, "Could i get some help?" You both heard your brother yell, "Sure," Eddie says closing the door and going to help him. You shivered at the cold, definitely regretting your decision to stand outside, you crossed your arms trying to get warm for a few moments before the door re-opened again, "Found it?" You asked sounding hopeful so you could leave.
"Nope, he wants your help," Eddie stated, "Seriously?" You scoffed but walked in, you would deny it but when walking into Eddie's trailer comfort overwhelmed you, his scent was so warm and sickening to you and you loved it, it was really nice, "Where were you sitting?" You asked him, "Ed you mind if she checks your room?" Will asks from behind the couch, "I'll check, what does it look like?" He asks not wanting you to go in his room, "It's blue, with an uhh," you stopped yourself and looked to your brother who just shook his head, he openly wore it everywhere, why wouldn't he just let someone else find it.
"I'll be two seconds, just tell me where he was sitting," you say, he rolls his eyes, you both hated this but you loved Will and I guess Eddie cared for the little guy as well.
You walked into Eddie's room, and just couldn't help but smile, at all the band posters and how actually cool it was, and to be honest it was extremely similar to yours, Eddie points to the corner of the room where Will sat, you immediately checked under the pillows, blankets and then proceeded to under the bed.
"Eddie! Come here," Will says after a crash, you turn your head to watch him run out of the room, you reached further under the bed and felt the blue ribbon, you were about to shout out you found it so you could finally get yourself out there, but then you saw a small bright red box, and it only caught your eye because of the colour and what it said on top "Y/n," it said.
You looked around to see if Eddie was coming back, and he wasn't, and you reached for it and opened the lid, you saw a picture of you from like freshmen year, when you and Eddie were actually friends. You saw a small hair-tie that you assumed to be yours, a small necklace that you lost in 5th grade, and other little small things that were either yours or were like you, along with pictures of you.
A lot of people would find that extremely creepy, but you found it cute, and you wanted to scream and jump up and down, when you heard footsteps come back you quickly put the lid back on the box and shoved it under the bed, "Did you find it?" Eddie asked, you smiled and showed it to him covering up the 'M' that was imprinted on it.
"Thanks Ed," Will as you left, you didn't say a word to him as you did, you were in shock and in awe of what you saw, "So did you see it?" Will asks, "you knew?" You questioned, "Why did you think I left my bracelet in such a hidden place?" He giggled, "Why didn't you just, say Eddie had it?" You asked, "Y/n? Would you have actually believed me?" He asked in all seriousness, "No," you said with a cheeky smile, "How cute is that?" Will asked, "It's pretty adorable," you stated.
You couldn't stop thinking about it, and if Eddie didn't fill your mind enough, now it, he was all you could think about, every little thing reminded you of Eddie. You immediately told Jonathan when you got home and went full on fan-girl over it.
You had to take Will to another Hellfire club night, and this time, you weren't mad about it, instead of whining and pleading with your brother, you actually offered to drive Will. You didn't dress up, but you wore a lower cut shirt and slightly tighter clothes to the game.
And when you got there you didn't even look at anyone, you just sat in your corner, and felt the eyes upon you, eye which you now definitely new to be Eddie's, at first you wanted to tease him, make him flustered, but now you kind of wanna be sweet with it, you thought over what you were going to say to him all of that game, 'should I be more seductive when I say "I saw that little box of me under your bed" or more sweet, like flattered and stuff' you thought to yourself.
I could play the seductive card, and probably either get fucked or harshly kissed, or I could play it cute and sweet and make his heart warm up, either way you knew he was gonna blush like crazy and probably get flustered.
And you actually got a little nervous when the game ended, "Hey I'll meet you in the car," you whispered in your brothers ear, dropped the keys in his hands and hurried him off, everyone left and it was only Eddie packing things away now.
"You need help?" You asked him, he turned around from placing one of the boxes in the cupboard, "No," he said blankly, "What do you want?" He asked, "I wanna know why you hate me so much?" You asked simply, it was simple why he did but you wanted to see if he would say, he looked at you a little confused, "I uhm, no reason," he said shaking his head.
"So it's not because you don't know how to talk to me?" You asked him, he stopped in his tracks, "What?" He said quietly, you slowly stepped up in front of him, "I didn't mean to, it was kind of just right there when I looked under your bed," you said in a soft tone, not wanting to straight up embarrass the boy, "Find what? Oh-," he stopped himself as he realised, "It's cute Ed," you stated, "I find it cute" you said with a smile and small blush, while his blush was brighter than a red ripe apple.
"You were never supposed to see that," he stated with an angry tone, that tone only pointed towards himself, "I know, and I'm sorry I did," you said knowing you wouldn't be totally overwhelmed with happiness if he found something like that under your bed, "But tell me Ed, is that why you hate me so much? Because well, you truly don't actually hate me," you asked him, a few moments go by and he just softly nods.
You smile, "Me too," you say admitting it to him, "What?" He asks, "That's why I'm such a bitch, I mean how the fuck am I supposed to talk to you? Your intimidating," you say with a small laugh, a smile slowly forming on his face as you said it.
"but, I like you, I've liked you since freshmen year," you said with a rush of embarrassment in your words, "Y-you have?" He asks with a small chuckle at the end of his sentence, you nod softly biting your lip and looking up right into his brown doe eyes.
"I didn't mean to steal your necklace," he admits, "I truly wanted it gone anyways, my dad gave it to me, keep it," you say with a smile, he smiled back. And after a few moments of silence, and slight awkwardness you just lean up and kiss him out of nowhere.
The action speaking louder than any words ever could, you felt his lips slowly start to kiss back after the realisation your kissing him, you felt comfort and compact in this little moment, very safe and happy.
summary: Eddie's known you his whole life. He's your best friend. In truth, he wants to be your boyfriend - he wants to call you his without it being a joke and to kiss you when you're sober. But everyone loves you and wants you: he doesn't like a gold rush.
tags: Eddie x gn!reader (everyone can read!!!), childbood best friends to lovers, slow burn, pining!Eddie, 18+ reader (impli. in twenties), smidge off canon, fluff, minor angst, happy ending, oneshot
There's smudges of buttercream frosting by the corners of your lips.
But you're too busy to notice the mess on your face when you're racing Robin to the end of the block, both of you stumbling around like a couple of drunkards, hysterical giggles filling the air after having spun around in circles twenty times. It takes a full thirty seconds before you shove her away and begin to make a run for the end of the block, your sprint only further fuelled by the excited screaming from the kids.
It's your birthday.
You'd insisted - no, pleaded, really - to everyone that there's no need for a celebration. Eddie still remembers the sour expression your face twisted into when Joyce gently suggested throwing you a birthday party to celebrate, and the way you'd then firmly assured her and Hopper that it was enough that they'd even remembered that it was your birthday in a week.
"It's seriously nothing, Joyce." you'd emphasized, setting down your fork with a shy smile. The older woman only huffed at that, wholly unconvinced.
"Your birthday is not nothing, (Y/n), it's a special day that only occurs once a year. We should celebrate! And don't worry, we can organize it all here." Joyce had firmly insisted, casting a sideway glance to Hopper for support. He simply nodded in silence from next to her, right leg idly bouncing up and down as he took another sip of his beer.
Noticing that your hesitant expression wasn't fading, Eddie made it a point to knock his knees with yours to grab your attention, soothing your anxieties by squeezing your hands under the table.
"Come on, sunshine. When's the last time you had a proper birthday in Hawkins since you started university? Besides, we could invite all the kids and our mutual friends... everyone under one roof for the day?"
With all of them gazing at you intently - Hopper raising his eyebrows in a "come on, just say yes" manner, an eager glint in Joyce's warm eyes, and a reassuring grin on Eddie's lips - you had relented, sighing deeply but the shadow of a smile on your face giving your true feelings away.
"Alright. Yeah, Joyce, that'd be great."
In the present, Eddie's quiet thoughts are disrupted by Steve sitting down next to him on the wooden bench, a half empty beer bottle in his hands.
"I've never seen Joyce work so hard on a birthday party before. Not even for Jonathan's - though don't tell him I said that." Steve jokes, chuckling lowly under his breath. Eddie has to agree with his friend that the woman has gone above and beyond.
Hopper and Jonathan are by the barbeque grill, cooking and wiping away sweat away from their foreheads, Nancy and Joyce are sitting by the outdoor swings nursing lemonades in their hands, and the kids (alongside you and Robin) are engaging in silly games by the street - rogue soccer balls, baseball bats and bicycles littered on the lawn.
The backyard of the Wheeler's house is spilling with birthday decorations, from brightly colored balloons wrapped around every piece of furniture to string lights and banners sprawled across the fences, growing from the sides as if they're vines. There are bean bags on the lawn next to picnic tables filled with a wide assortment of food and drinks, a handheld radio the centrepiece blasting a top 40 hit.
Flicking away a stray balloon knocking into his side - of golden color, with the words "happy birthday!" scribbled on it in sharpie - Eddie nods along to Steve's comments absentmindedly.
"Yeah, she really did go all out."
Steve chuckles.
"I even overheard from the conversation happening by the grill that Joyce's even going to bring out an outdoor projector to screen a movie later. I don't even know how she managed to set all that up last minute."
Eddie's trying to be polite and stay tuned into the conversation, but his gaze continues to drift to you, consciously or not. You're standing hunched over, hands on bruised knees with harsh pants coming out of your mouth from the intense sprint you just took off on, as Max and El make fun of how wild your hair looks now. You scowl playfully and threaten to chase them next, to which they say something back that Eddie can't hear (knowing them and based on the look of fake shock on your face, he guesses it's a sassy retort) before you set them off running in full speeds, giggling.
"You could just go over and join them instead of staring." Steve jokes, noticing that the metalhead's attentions are elsewhere. Eddie smiles an embarrassed grin at that, his fingers clenching ever so slightly around the gift and letter sitting on his lap, to which Steve's brown eyes fall onto next. "Oh, the gift pile is over there, here, let me help-"
Steve leans over to take the neatly wrapped box and manila envelope to match from Eddie's grasp, to which the taller boy only flinches and instinctively bring the items closer to his chest.
"No, it's fine! I uh, I want to be holding onto these for the party." he quickly rambles out, ignoring the way Steve's face scrunches up in confusion.
"You sure?"
"Yep! Positive. 100% positive, actually."
Steve narrows his eyes at Eddie, a million questions on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't get to ask any of them before Hopper is calling him over for help. Eddie lets out a small sigh of relief when he's alone again, incredibly happy to not be subject to interrogation as to why he's so protective of the gift and the letter on his lap.
Truth be told, it's the letter that Eddie's most attached to.
He's spent the entirety of last week perfecting it, writing and rewriting certain paragraphs in odd times through the day whilst mulling over the countless moments encompassing his friendship with you, and it's the piece of paper containing his deepest confession.
He loves you.
More than a best friend should.
Despite being light as a feather, the envelope feels heavy as bricks in his hands in the present moment, the soft papery texture burning his skin as he toys with its flimsy edges, tips of his fingers running up and down the square corners. Though Eddie later (reluctantly) abandons the gift and the letter by the bench to join in on a few games between you and the kids, and to later help Joyce bring out the large birthday cake from the kitchen, his mind remains fixated on that singular piece of paper for the whole party.
Your features aglow with the red and orange embers of the flames from the birthday candles, your lashes flutter shut before your lips puck together to blow, the entire room erupting into applause and appreciative shouts when you finish. You're glowing, Eddie thinks, beaming with happiness and awe as you turn around to give Joyce a fierce embrace and Hopper a cool fist bump.
Eddie makes it a point to carry the gift and the letter with him, hidden out of sight and behind his back, as you tear open each gift during spoonfuls of red velvet cake. Once you've gone down the line opening everyone's gifts, all eyes zero in on Eddie, who sheepishly smiles and lifts up the items in his hands.
"Don't worry, I have your gift and letter here."
"Never doubted you, Eds." you affirm, holding your hands out. Eddie freezes at that, stuttering his response.
"B-but you can't open it here. You have to open it, uh, when you're alone."
The room's split in between confusion (the kids not understanding what Eddie could've possibly gotten you that would require you to have to open it in private) and a collective, amused understanding amongst the adults (smirks on Joyce and Hopper's faces, quiet whispers between Nancy and Jonathan, playful nudges between Robin and Steve).
But you seem none the wiser, a low hum and curious smile quirking up the edges of your lips.
"Ooh, mysterious. Alright then, Eds. I look forward to it."
Eddie's so damn tense on the drive back to your apartment that he's afraid he's going to go into cardiac arrest at any moment. Heart beating a million miles per minute, he can hear his blood pumping right by his ears as he rounds the corner to your house, throat running dry at the realization that you're holding his letter in your lap.
"C-can I come in?" he asks, breathlessly, slapping on a quick grin to mask his mix of fear and worry. "To see your reaction to my gift and stuff."
You roll your eyes playfully at that, unstrapping the seat belt from your shoulder.
"Duh. We've been friends since we were 7 years old."
He's been over to your apartment a million times before, but suddenly the dark hallways and oak stairs seem daunting. Each footstep echoes through the silence ominously, a mocking voice reminding him with each step up the stairs that you're one step closer to opening that damn letter.
Unaware of Eddie's anxieties, you're humming a light pop song when you usher him into the bedroom, closing the door half-hazardously behind you by kicking it shut with one leg before dramatically flailing onto your bed.
"Ah, home. Just me and my bed." you groan into the sheets, stretching your tired limbs out.
"And me." your best friend adds, pretending to be offended. Your face lifts up from the comforter in response, dopey grin on your cake and champagne filled-face.
"And you. Always you, Eddie."
You sit with your legs crossed across from him, Eddie's legs dangling off the mattress as you carefully inspect the letter in the light. Your fingers move to tear it open when he stops you quickly, placing a gentle hand on your wrist to stop you mid-movement.
"W-wait. Open the gift first."
You pause, amused, raising your eyebrows.
"Isn't it usual to open the letter first before the gift?"
"Well, yeah, maybe, but... trust me, it'll make more sense later."
You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth before letting the letter fall back down onto your lap.
"Alright... But seriously, this is only getting more and more mysterious."
You inspect the neatly wrapped box in your lap: the wrapping is rather imperfect, with odd scrunches at the sides and messy taping holding the wrapping together around the shape of the box. But the wrapping paper's pattern is too endearing (a cartoon shark holding an umbrella over its head) and so is the gold bow he's put on top, so you suppose it makes up for the slightly messy presentation.
"Sorry about the lame wrapping paper, it was like the only one left at the store." Eddie comments quietly, sheepish.
"Trust me, it's perfect." you assure him, winking.
Your fingers tear open the paper to see that inside is a beautiful, sleek, black polaroid camera. Taking the polaroid gently out of the box, you stare at it in shock, its weight pleasant on your hands as you twist it around to examine every feature. Underneath the box holding the polaroid, Eddie has even thrown in several pieces of film, tied together hastily with decorative string.
"Oh my god Eddie... this... this must've cost a fortune!" you ramble, looking up at him with awe. He shakes it off though, head twisting side to side in denial, signature smirk gracing his face.
"Nah. I had some money saved up from a few Corroded Coffin gigs and the internship I did a few months ago up in Idaho paid off. Besides..." he takes in a deep breath before smiling with a short exhale. "It's my best friend's birthday - I couldn't give you something small and lame."
You laugh at that, dropping the camera carefully onto your lap.
"Well, you could've gotten me a rock off the side of the street and I still would've loved it. I mean, this- this is too much." you fuss, not meeting his gaze.
"Hey. You deserve it. It's your birthday. And again, you're my best friend. Stop acting like I went into debt buying something nice for you." he jokes, poking you on the side right where you're ticklish. You squirm away from him, curses on the tip of your tongue, but you're not really mad at him.
You don't think you could ever really be mad at Eddie.
"Alright, fine. Thank you so, so, so much, Eds. You're the bestest friend ever." you mumble into his shoulder, arms wrapping around his neck.
He can feel your heartbeat reverberating through your top, your signature perfume wafting over him at this proximity, a comforting smell that he inhales slowly as he returns your embrace. It doesn't last long enough for Eddie before you pull away and set the camera to the side, hands now reaching out for the letter.
"Wait." he blurts out again, and this time, you playfully roll your eyes.
"Again, Eddie? I feel like you really don't want me to read this letter for some reason."
Your voice is playful, your expression clearly being one of fond amusement, but Eddie feels as if his chest is being squeezed by invisible ropes. God, if only you had any idea as that what you were about to read, he thinks.
"Just to give you background on the letter, that's all." Eddie assures you, shuffling closer. "So, remember how on your first day back from Boston we had that conversation in the cinema? About how you thought the plot of that romantic movie we ended up watching was super unrealistic?"
You two had meant to see the newest horror movie, but ended up running late to the cinema and the ticketmaster (a bored looking teenager with wild red hair and blue eyes) droned from behind the glass that all tickets for that film were sold for the day. You glanced over at Eddie, silently asking him what to do next, and Eddie had shrugged his shoulders and suggested just seeing another film.
The only film that had any available tickets - considering that it was past 9pm on a Friday night - was a romantic comedy starring two famous actors neither of you cared much about. But eager to catch up on all the time you two missed whilst you were studying in Boston and Eddie was attending community college in Hawkins, neither of you minded.
The screening room was nearly empty, allowing you and Eddie to sit by the front (far away from the few other people in attendance) and whisper throughout the duration of the whole film. Towards the end of the film, the female protagonist began to cry as her love interest stared to declare 100 things he loved about her, and you groaned audibly and rolled your eyes.
"God, I fucking hate how unrealistic these films are." you'd complained, sinking against your cinema seat. Eddie shot you an amused glance at that, popping a popcorn kernel into his mouth.
"Really, this is unrealistic for you? Not the non-existent sex scenes? Not the female characters always waking up with perfect hair and makeup? Not the protagonists always living in penthouses in New York on a barista's budget?" he'd teased, knocking shoulders with yours. You grunted, rolling your eyes.
"Well, all that's super unrealistic too, don't get me wrong. But come on, who the hell can name 100 things they love about someone?"
"What, you couldn't name 100 things you love about someone?" he had challenged, raising his eyebrows.
"Definitely not! Not even to like, my parents or best friends. Why, are you saying you can, Munson?" you retorted, crossing your arms. Eddie just leaned back and smirked.
"Oh, you have no idea. I definitely could. Like I could list 100 things I love about you right now."
He meant it sincerely, but you didn't seem to pick up on it - either because it was too dark in the cinema room to see how his eyes softened at the confession or because you'd become so desensitized to his honesty after a lifelong platonic friendship.
So you just snorted and raised your hands in mock defeat.
"Geez, alright then."
"I'm serious, I could!" he argued, poking you on the side to redirect your gaze towards him. You chuckled, shaking your head sideways at your best friend's antics.
"Yeah, okay. Save it for another day, okay? The old lady behind us keeps on glaring and I'm afraid she's gonna stab us if we keep on talking."
"The shitty rom com day? Yeah, of course I remember. Why?"
Eddie swallows nervously, tongue poking out to trace his bottom lip.
"I did it. I wrote down the 100 things I love about you onto that letter."
Your eyebrows raise and an impressed grin spreads on your lips.
"You actually did? Damn, I'm impressed, Munson."
"Yeah, well, considering I had basically our entire lives to draw upon, it wasn't that hard. One thing though: it's super, duper important that you read to the very end. Like, from number one to one hundred without stopping. No skipping ahead." Eddie hastily adds, fingers itching by his sides with anxiety.
You nod slowly, finally unclasping the front of the envelope as you begin to read.
-------------------------------------------
01. your eyes - they were the first thing I noticed about you when you first spoke to me.
Eddie was seven when he first met you.
He was sulking in the playground, a couple hundred feet away from all the other kids, busy kicking a small pebble back and forth with the cement wall in boredom. He desperately wanted the school day to be over. He wasn't as tall as the other kids yet, and all the boys his age already thought that he was too weird: obsessed with music and bugs instead of cars and girls.
Lunch periods sucked the most for Eddie - at the very least, during class, he could distract himself by nodding along to the teachers and burying his mind in whatever activity he had to finish. But when released from the confines of the classroom and people naturally split off into their groups, Eddie was almost always alone.
He didn't mind too much, he supposed. It was no different from at home, where his parents and him barely spoke - him in his room unless it was time to eat, silent dinners at night with his father's head in a newspaper and his mother nursing a cigarette.
Eddie was getting ready to kick the small pebble back to the wall, right leg bracing backwards, when he suddenly felt someone's warm hand on his shoulder.
"It's a lot more fun when you kick a ball back and forth, you know. And when you do it with someone, not a wall."
He recognized that voice.
Despite having moved into Hawkins less than two weeks ago, you already had a large circle of friends and several teachers wrapped around your fingers. Star student, extrovert, popular kid.
All things Eddie certainly were not, so as to render him starstruck that THE (Y/n) (L/n) would want to speak to him.
So his first reaction was to look around the playground, expecting to see another kid kicking a pebble back and forth and to whom your comment was actually directed to, but the courtyard was practically empty. You seemingly caught on to his confusion and giggled, stepping closer to him so as to shadow the sun behind your figure.
"Yes, I'm talking to you. My name is (Y/n), by the way."
The young boy was sure there wasn't a single person in his grade who didn't know who you were. And yet here you were, having separated from the larger group of kids to specifically seek Eddie out, introducing yourself with bruised knees and a wide smile. His eyes hesitantly lifted from the floor to meet your eyes - dancing with joy, irises twinkling with a glow akin to jewels, an alluring sense of warmth exuding from your simple gaze.
He was transfixed. His left hand was slow to rise but he eventually shook your hand, gripping your fingers tightly.
"Nice to meet you, (Y/n). I'm Eddie."
"Eddie." you strung his name out, as if testing how it sounded from your lips. "That's a cool name. Wanna play ball?"
You spun the soccer ball in your hands back and forth, wiggling your eyebrows.
"Sure."
And that was the start of his lifelong friendship with you.
-----------------------------------------
13: your sense of adventure - I'll never forget how the first time I got grounded by Wayne was because you wanted to sneak out to see the meteor showers.
"Did you hear that there's going to be a meteor shower tonight?"
You'd come barreling into his trailer, not even bothering to properly knock (and only sending a polite "hello" to Wayne who was sat on the couch watching TV), startling Eddie who was devouring one science fiction comic after another.
"A hello is usually how people start conversations." Eddie had grumbled back, folding the paper comic away, though his slight annoyance melted away quickly at your obvious excitement. It was spring break and you were two bored ten year old kids constrained to the mundane life in Hawkins.
"Hello, Eddie, you look great, hope you're well, blah blah blah." you mocked, putting on an overly formal accent as you eventually walked over to his bed and shooed for him to make space for you on the mattress. Scowling (though it wasn't genuine), he obliged, allowing you to sit next to him with your legs criss crossed. "But seriously. I read in the newspaper this morning that a once in a decade meteor shower is going to happen at 11pm tomorrow."
"And?" the boy questioned, flipping his head over to the side, staring at you with mild confusion. You looked positively offended at that, folding one of his spare sci fi comics in half to hit him across the shoulder.
"AND? And we gotta sneak out to see it for ourselves, Eddie!"
Eddie sighed, lips drawn tight as he shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know, sounds kind of boring. Also, we technically have school tomorrow."
You pouted at that, crossing your arms in indignant disagreement.
"Aw, come on, Eds, PLEASE?"
"Why don't you go alone?"
You spluttered at his suggestion.
"ALONE? Eddie, this is a ONCE IN A DECADE occurence! Come on, as my best friend, please? I promise it'll be fun!"
Eddie suppressed another deep sigh - this was the paradox of his friendship with you.
You were this ball of energy, bright sunshine on a summery day, an extrovert who enjoyed parties, biking and spontaneous plans on a late Wednesday night. Eddie was more withdrawn, a sunflower blooming in the dark, someone who preferred to spend his free days reading comics or studying the genius of his favorite rock musicians with an open notebook and pen in hand.
Perhaps that was why you two worked together so well though. At least, that was Wayne's working theory, considering you two had been inseparable for three years at this point.
"Fine." he had grumbled and you leaped forward to hug him, crushing Eddie between your arms, making him wince.
"Sorry, sorry, I just got excited! Oh, we'll have to be super careful when sneaking out. You can bike alongside me whilst I skateboard, I know the perfect place to view the meteor shower: it's this little hill by Cornelia Park." you hurried out, swinging your backpack over your shoulder, your fingers thrumming alongside your skateboard.
"You're not sticking around?"
Eddie tried to hide the disappointment in his voice but it still laced his tone, eyebrows furrowing as he was expecting you to stick around for dinner at the least (which was routine whenever you came over).
"Can't, my cousins are visiting from out of state and my mom will kill me if I miss the family dinner. But tomorrow, I'll sneak out and be waiting for you outside your trailer at like 10:30, okay?" you said, sticking one of your pinkie fingers out at him. "Remember, Eds, you can never break a pinkie promise with me."
You warned with a serious voice, a joke that you'd been employing since last year when you'd used it to ensure Eddie would pay you back for ice cream. He rolled his eyes then and he was rolling his eyes now too, but he nonetheless wrapped his own finger around yours, sealing the deal.
"10:30 tomorrow, got you."
Eddie feigned going to bed awfully early the next day, telling a small white lie that he wasn't feeling well, and he waited dutifully until he heard the television flicker off and Wayne's breaths to even out from the other bedroom. Slowly creaking open his door, Eddie pocketed the keys sitting by the kitchen table after having quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a black jacket to fight off the autumn cold.
As you'd promised, you were waiting for him outside, skateboard tucked securely under your left arm, wide awake smile on your face as you excitedly waved him over.
"Alright, let me get my bike first, relax." he'd teased, unchaining his bicycle from a nearby tree as you excitedly jumped up and down on the balls of your feet.
"Come onnnnn, Eds! I don't want to miss the beginning."
"I don't think it's even possible to miss out the beginning of a natural occurrence." he'd countered, but your cheery disposition wasn't affected.
"Alright grumpy pants, let's get going."
He followed behind you carefully - night wind whipping through his hair, pale moonlight illuminating the cracks between oak trees and ink black roads - before you slowed down by the entrance to the park. You hopped off your skateboard and Eddie chose to walk alongside his bike whilst making small talk, with you insisting that the perfect spot to view the meteor shower was a large hill at the back of a private garden.
"Damn it, it's locked." you swore, placing one hand on the green metal gate before pulling it fiercely back and forth. A slow smirk arose on your face as you turned back at Eddie, a treacherous, mischievous glint in your eyes. "You know what this means."
"(Y/n), no."
"(Y/n), yes. We're climbing over the gate."
Before he could even stop you, you had thrown your skateboard overboard and started climbing the metal fence. To your credit, it wasn't a particularly difficult task - your left foot being dug between the gaps before you hoisted the rest of your body up and swung your legs over the top with ease.
"Just lock your bicycle to the side and we'll come back for it, promise." you promised from the other side, smiling at him through the gaps of the fence. Eddie ran a hand down his face, semi-regretting agreeing with you, before he relented and pointed an accusatory finger at you.
"Fine. But if we get arrested and go to jail, I'm totally blaming this on you."
"Guilty as charged, Munson."
He climbed over the fence after locking his bicycle by the side fence, though he had a bit more of a difficulty climbing it than you (with the fact that he was already taller than you by a few inches making it all the more embarrassing.) But he didn't have time to dwell on that, when the moment his shaky feet met the dirt floor, your left hand was gripping his wrist tightly and leading him further into the night.
"Come on, it's nearly 11." you cautioned, motioning to the fancy wristwatch your parents had gifted you for your tenth birthday.
The clearing you led Eddie to was beautiful - a small stream flowing underneath flower beds blooming with orange bellflowers, pink roses and white lilies, a cobblestone pathway leading up to a large hill separated by neatly trimmed hedges and plastic garden gnomes. He barely had a chance to appreciate every aspect of the small oasis before you were pushing him up the hill, flashing him a proud smile when you collapsed on top of the mound after a few minutes of climbing.
"Here we are!" you announced. "Perfect view of the night sky."
Eddie wordlessly sat next to you, knees closed together and drawn to his chest, catching his breath whilst staring up at the the empty night sky. After a few moments of silence, he frowned, and he was getting ready to ask you if you were sure that you'd read the paper correctly.
And that was when the first shooting star crossed the sky. A bright, brilliant flash of light which soared from one edge of the sky to another, it elicited a shocked gasp from you, your fingers curling around his upper arm excitedly.
"It's starting!"
After the first star, all the others followed in quick succession, decorating the inky black landscape with stunning bursts of white light. Eddie had to admit, it was an incredible sight to see, and at some point you'd snuck closer towards him and Eddie quickly looked down to shoot you a worried glance.
"You alright?" he questioned, noticing that you were shivering next to him.
"Just peachy! A bit cold, though, didn't have the time to grab my cardigan cause I had to climb out the window." you chuckled, rubbing your upper forearms with your hands. He was quick to discard his jacket at that, wrapping the fabric around your shoulders without a second thought.
"Are you sure, Eds?" you asked, frowning, though you were grateful for the rush of warmth. He nodded, disregarding the small chill running down his back at the sudden exposure to the cold.
"Positive. I rather I be cold than you."
"Thanks, Eds. You're the best."
"That's why I'm your best friend." he teased. You chuckled, shaking your head in agreement.
"I guess so."
And then when you'd grown weary and tired, resting your head on his shoulder as he instinctively wrapped an arm around your shoulder to make sure your head wouldn't slip off, Eddie felt a foreign sensation.
His vision was slightly hazy, rose hues glazing his irises, pleasant warmth filling his stomach as if he'd just eaten a delicious warm meal. It was a completely new feeling, your presence both simultaneously feeling like too much yet not enough, his breaths coming out at a slightly faster pace as he stared down at you.
Eddie didn't know what he was feeling, but somehow, having you rest your head against his shoulder in the dead of night... After having snuck out to climb over a fence into a private garden to watch a meteor shower with you, awoke something in him.
He didn't know what to call the feeling.
All he knew was that he liked it, and he liked being around you.
And that was enough of an answer for ten year old Eddie.
-------------------------------------
21: your laughter - I always like hearing you laugh. Some days, I even think it's better than Black Sabbath and Metallica.
A crush.
That was what it was, Eddie now realized, his teenage years finally giving him the language to explain what he was feeling for his best friend.
You were sitting with your legs swinging back and forth on the park bench, tongue lazily swirling around your ice cream, a celebratory treat for having gotten through - alongside Eddie - the dreadful three years of middle school.
Well, more dreadful for him than you, he supposed.
Even though in middle school Eddie had broken out of his shell much more (having discovered a love for fantasy novels, metal music and befriending a small group of boys who were also branded "nerds"), you and him were still separated by several stratospheres in the social pyramid.
You still shared a few classes with him, during which you always sat in front or behind him, for which he was always grateful. It was one of Eddie's greatest insecurities that sooner or later, you'd realize that you were too good to be with him and ditch for someone better. But you never did, even going so far as to defend him from snide comments from the other popular kids that you were "too good" to be hanging around someone like him.
Eddie often wondered if he was a burden to you: dragging you down as you swam, weighing you down as you soared higher and higher to the sun. You always laughed off such accusations, paired with a stern talking - akin to that of a disappointed parent - which emphasized how much you valued him.
Eddie still didn't really know why.
It was the summer before the start of high school, the realization which was sitting heavy in his lower stomach, mind swirling with a cacophony of anxious thoughts.
See, Eddie had spent the three years of middle school learning guitar, reading every fantasy novel he could get his hands on, and sticking by the same group of boys who had been branded as nerds from the beginning of sixth grade.
You'd spent those years becoming the captain of the swimming club, getting invited to countless parties and sleep overs, and growing up into your features.
Eddie always thought you were a nice looking person, sure. But as soon as puberty hit and his hormones began to kick in, he realized that you were growing up right in front of his eyes. Your shoulders became more defined, thighs more toned, you'd certainly grown several inches in height from that excited seven year old who'd first offered to play ball with him. Your facial features were balancing out, eyes slightly shifting in hue, lips more plump.
And fuck, you were gorgeous.
And Eddie hadn't been the only one to notice, considering how everyone either envied you or wanted to date you.
Eddie was wondering now what it must be like to grow up that beautiful as droplets of strawberry ice cream hung from the edges of your bottom lip, hair kissed with glittering sunlight streaming through the gaps of the willow tree you were sat under.
"You excited to start high school?" you'd asked him whilst wiggling your eyebrows, as if you were passing off a dirty joke that neither of you should be engaging in. Eddie blew through his lips, quickly taking a bite off of his own ice cream cone, throwing you a nonchalant shrug.
"Meh. Probably gonna be like middle school, but shittier and with more hormones."
You laughed at that, a carefree melody flowing from your throat as you threw your head back, yellow sunlight illuminating your features at the action. It was a proper laugh, a loud sound followed by echoes of giggles, eyes turning teary and stomach aching from the lack of oxygen.
It made butterflies flutter in Eddie's stomach, fingers itching to tap your nose and lips aching to kiss your cheeks, but he remained still, content to just sit back and watch you laugh at his dumb jokes.
"You're probably right. But god, it's such a big change, it's kind of scary." you had said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your eyes. "I mean, high school! Four years in a completely new place! Then we'll be off to university, then we'll have jobs, then we'll probably have families-"
"Hey, hey, relax." Eddie had to calm you down as you were speaking so fast that you forgot to breathe in between each sentence, his left hand springing up to comfortingly pat against your clothed back. "You're overthinking it."
"Very me, isn't it?" you gave him a sheepish smile, kicking up your legs to cross them underneath your arms. Eddie just smiled in acknowledgement.
"Sure is, sunshine."
You stuck your tongue out at that, face scrunching up as if you'd tasted something bitter.
"When will you stop calling me that? We're not ten anymore, Eds." you commented, referring to the fact that Eddie had been calling you by the nickname 'sunshine' since both of you were ten. His justification? You were sunny, fun, and you always 'brightened his days' - "you're basically my sunshine" he'd confessed, hands wringed together, shy grin on his lips.
"Never, sorry not sorry."
"Well then what am I supposed to call you? Seems hardly fair that I get a nickname and you don't." you paused, humming as you began to seemingly brainstorm an appropriate name in your head. "Moonshine."
"Moonshine?" he mocked, giving you an incredulous look, to which you threw your hands up dramatically.
"I-I don't know! I was just thinking like, if I was going to be called sunshine and we're such opposites, you'd be called moonshine."
"I'm pretty sure that's the name of that illegal alcohol too. You know, the spirit that's banned in the US for having an insanely high alcohol concentration?" he teased, before he nodding affirmatively. "You know what, now that I think about it, I kind of like it."
"Really?"
"Yeah. We're opposites - sun and moon - and I sort of dig the thought of being named after a deadly alcohol brand."
"You're hardly fatal, Munson." you'd hit back, knocking your shoulders with his.
"Eh, Wayne seems to think I am whenever I cook."
You laughed again at that, and though this time it was shorter and lighter, it still did the job of lighting his veins on fire and causing a slight blush to paint over his cheeks.
Eddie was certain that he'd say and do anything - absolutely anything - to hear you laugh at his jokes.
------------------------------------------
36: your honesty - it might break a lot of hearts, but it's so refreshing.
"Everything alright?" you questioned Eddie from behind, frown on your wet lips as you peeked over his shoulder to stare at the retreating jocks.
You were both sophomores now, a full two years into high school, and Eddie had been proven correct in his prediction that he'd continue to be an outcast and a weirdo whilst you dominated the popularity pyramid.
The basketball team had taken particular glee at bugging Eddie at school - knocking into him in the hallways, purposefully ignoring him during group discussions, whispering words like "freak" and "loser" whenever they passed by him. That was, of course, so long as you weren't near him. They were on their best behavior around you: student body president, head of student volunteering, varsity swim captain.
After all, you were kind of one of them - you sat with the popular kids: the varsity athletes and cheerleaders and student government members. Eddie, on the other hand, sat in the back of the lunch room with the science club nerds, with whom they discovered a mutual love for D&D after being grouped together for a Chemistry project.
"Everything's fine, don't worry your pretty little head about it, okay?" Eddie had joked at you, winking. "We still on for Friday movie night?" he added, hopefully, slamming his locker door shut. His smile fell in the fraction of a second at the unexpected sight of your sorry expression.
"Yeah, about that... I can't tonight." you'd said awkardly, scratching your neck.
"What? Your parents got you doing household chores again?"
"Oh, no, no. My parents are out of town this week. It's... something else."
You were clearly hiding something: avoiding his gaze and dragging the soles of your shoes on the floor as you wordlessly trailed behind him in the hallways, making Eddie's curiosity worsen. After all, you two were best friends, you never hid anything from each other.
"What is it? Come on, don't leave me hanging, sunshine."
You were chewing on your bottom lip, hesitant smile sparking on your face when you looked up to finally meet his worried gaze.
"I have a date tonight."
Shit.
Eddie halted his footsteps in the hallway, eyes wide and unblinking as the words soaked in, heart beginning to crack and fill with dread at the announcement. He wasn't an idiot. He knew that you were well desired, he knew that you were gorgeous, he knew that it was only a matter of time before you'd had a proper date and a first kiss.
But he didn't think that day was going to be today.
And to add salt to injury, it had to be on a day where it was routine for you to come over to his place to watch a shitty VHS tape over popcorn and pizza. He loved Friday movie nights. It got him through late nights studying subjects he couldn't care less about, a distraction to hold on to as a cheerleader jeered at him or a jock roughly rustled into him by the parking lot.
"Oh. Uh, nice! Who asked you out?" Eddie had tried to come off as if he'd been unaffected, as if there wasn't now a sinking, clawing sensation in his stomach and his heart wasn't filling with black tar. His efforts to keep his face neutral and voice light paid off, as you visibly relaxed, slow grin quirking up the edges of your lips.
"Tyler."
"Tyler? As in, Tyler Peterson?" he'd spluttered in disbelief: Tyler was the complete opposite of Eddie. A muscular blonde and head of the basketball team, he was a senior with a large group of friends and a penthouse in the upper side of Hawkins. Rich, undeniably attractive and popular, the stinging pain of insecurity was beginning to prick at Eddie's skin as your grin only widened.
"Yeah, that's him. Not gonna lie, I'm surprised that he'd ask me out-"
"You can't go out on a date with him." the metalhead had quickly cut in, making you cock your head in confusion.
"Why... not?"
"Because!" Eddie shouted, his mind scrambling to find an excuse. Because in reality, it made sense that two of the most popular and attractive people in Hawkins High would go on a date. "He's a senior and you're a sophomore, yeah. It's creepy."
You stuck your tongue out at him.
"Ugh, moonshine, grow up. He's still 17 and I'm about to turn 16 in two weeks. It's not like we're breaking the law." you flicked him in the forehead, playful smirk on your lips before you continued to walk down the hallway, Eddie's footsteps quickly following behind you.
"Still! That's like, gross."
"Listen, I'm really sorry about cancelling our Friday movie night, I know you look forward to them as much as I do." you sighed, turning on your heel to stare up at him. "I'll make it up to you, okay? But I really like Tyler and I wanna give this a shot, Eddie. I mean, for fucks sake-"
You quickly looked around the vacant hallways before leaning over to whisper.
"I haven't even had a proper first kiss yet."
Eddie chose to ignore how the first thought in his mind was a sly comment - "we could kiss right now and get it out the way" - and he consciously chose instead to lower his defences, shoulders shrugging downwards at your strict tone and persistent gaze.After all, if Eddie knew anything about you, it was that you were stubborn and once you set your mind to something, he couldn't talk you out of it.
Besides, the logical voice in his mind now reprimanded him, he didn't own you. You weren't his. He'd had plenty of chances to make a move on you, to push you two over the line of friendship into love, a whole nine years in fact. And he'd never done anything. And it was selfish and unreasonable for him to want to keep you all to himself, away from other boys who also noticed your attractiveness.
You were akin to a siren, Eddie thought. Sweet voice, perfect features, alluring aura that enticed people towards you. Damn your attractiveness.
"Okay, fine. I'll leave the front door unlocked though in case you still wanna swing by afterwards."
"Aw, thanks, handsome." you'd teased, elbowing him on the side. The contact burned Eddie through his clothes, skin still tingling with hot jealousy, which he quickly distracted himself from by changing the subject to something irrelevant.
Eddie was left to sulk by himself by the sofa that night, and he was eternally grateful that Wayne was working out of state that weekend so as to not see the plight of his nephew moping around in the house alone. It undoubtedly would've resulted with Wayne grunting, placing his hands on his hips, cigarette loosely dangling from his lips as he'd ask: "where's (Y/n)?"
He didn't need any additional salt in the wound, Eddie thought.
Eddie had practically memorized every detail of Poltergeist at this point, the exact dialogue exchanged, when the jump scares occurred, when a character was going to be killed - but it was far less fun when you weren't sitting next to him, narrating out loud and giggling at his dumb jokes.
This sucked. It really, really sucked - especially since he knew that you were out probably holding hands with and leaning your head against that popular blonde, the complete antithesis to Eddie. Shifting uncomfortably on the couch, Eddie just wished that he could simply melt away, the stabbing feeling of jealousy never once leaving him.
Then he heard someone knock on the door. You had opened it and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over your chest as if you'd just been swinging by casually as planned.
"Hey." you'd offered, student president jacket draped over your shoulders, form fitting jeans hugging your thighs. "Can I come in?"
"Y-yeah." he'd muttered out, dazed, mind whirling with the million possibilities that could've led you to his trailer. After all, when he'd said you could still swing by after the date, he didn't think you would actually take the offer. Eddie figured you'd end up being driven home in Tyler's porsche or end up at the blonde's place instead, clothes discarded on his expensive penthouse bedroom floor.
"D-did you even go on the date?" Eddie spluttered, bewildered, shifting over to make space for you. Your expression soured at that, nose crinkling at the top, lips puckering.
"I did, but... it was a total bust. Turns out, we don't have much in common."
"Really?" It was impossible to hide the complete shock from his tone, in response to which you turned around and raised your eyebrows, challenging him.
"What?"
Eddie shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head sideways simultaneously.
"I don't know, I just figured... you're both popular, attractive and outgoing people. Would seem like it'd be a perfect match on paper."
"Eh. The conversation was stilted and awkward. Our sense of humor totally didn't match. And honestly?" you paused, giggling softly before continuning. "Everything he said and did annoyed me. Like somehow he was the amalgamation of every flaw and quirk I hate in a person."
"Yeah?" Eddie hid his smile of pride and relief behind his hands, as you snatched the popcorn bowl from his lap and popped a kernel into your mouth.
"Yeah. So I called the date off short."
"What'd you tell him?"
"The truth, duh. That he's a nice guy but we're a total mismatch. He tried to argue otherwise, grabbing my wrist and tugging me back to his car, but I just stared back and told him it was clear he was still in love with his ex anyways so he should probably just chase her."
"Huh." was all Eddie can offer in response as you flashed him another comforting grin and leaned back into the couch cushions, body loosening as your gaze fixated on the blue screen ahead.
Eddie stared down at his hands before back up to you, admiring how flickers of blue and red light passed over your face as another gruesome scene played, your jaw carved by the contrast of shadow and light dancing on your face.
It was a sight Eddie had seen a million times, but it never failed to make his heart race.
"Sorry that the date didn't work out." he whispered into the night, knees brushing up against yours.
He didn't mean it, at all.
You looked down at him with a lazy grin, shrugging your shoulders.
"Don't be, moonshine. Cause the date led me back here, didn't it? So it wasn't a total bust."
His heart fluttered at that, electricity tingling at his finger tips, as you then shuffled closer towards him to throw a blanket over both your laps. Your head on his shoulder, knees weighing against his lap as you leaned against him, all Eddie could do was nod in response.
"Definitely not."
Perhaps Eddie would be okay with you going on dates - so long as it meant more nights like this.
------------------------------------------------
58: your "i'm thinking hard" face. I don't think you realize you do it, but when you're really concentrating on something, your eyes glaze over and lighten and you pout your lips. I love that sight.
"What're you working on?"
You looked up upon hearing Eddie's muffled question, his lips preoccupied with a large muffin as you scowled and brushed away the spare crumbs from your desk. He had insisted on coming over and "helping you" study for the senior finals, which in Eddie's terminology really meant stealing snacks from your cupboard and trying to distract you as you worked.
"Senior prom planning." you'd responded, dropping your pencil onto the desk and rubbing your forehead with your fingers to soothe the stress. "It's taking fucking forever too. There's like, a million things to still work out before next Friday."
Right, the prom. Eddie remembered seeing all the obnoxiously colorful decorations around school advertising the event, alongside the countless cheesy promposals he'd been a witness to involuntarily.
Eddie didn't have an immediate response to that, so you returned your attention to the stack of papers, your face entering a trance like zone he recognized as concentration. It evened out your features perfectly and even your slightest reflexes - biting down on the edge of a wooden pencil or flicking the square corners of the pages with your delicate fingers - made you so attractive to him.
"Well, if you're planning it, I know it's gonna be fantastic." he had offered in consolation.
"You're not going?" you whipped your head back to stare at him, shocked, to which Eddie only shrugged his shoulders.
"Never been my scene. You have fun though, yeah?"
"But it's our final year!" you insisted.
"Your final year." he reminded you, his eyebrows crinkling in disgust. I have to repeat again."
You waved his comment off, abandoning your stack of papers and stationery by your desk before sitting next to him on your bed, fierce determined look on your face.
"Eddie, it's not just any dance this year. It's senior prom! One that I worked really hard on! And don't make an excuse and say that your other friends aren't going, literally everyone bought tickets - even the science geeks."
Damn, there went his excuse, thought Eddie. Your pleading gaze was heavy on his shoulders, teeth gnawing his bottom lips as he mulled over it, head turning fuzzy when you reached over and placed your hand on his lap.
"Come on, moonshine. Please? For me?"
He swore you had the ability to hypnotize people. It was the only logical explanation for when you fluttered your eyelashes and left delicate touches on his skin, Eddie's mind blanked and he wordlessly agreed to any of your suggestions. Prom and Eddie did not mix, at all, from the popular kids winning titles to the wearing of suits and cheesy slow dances, but when you were asking him....
"Come on.... I'll even save a dance for you." you had said quietly, voice dripping with undeniable affection.
"Fine." Eddie surrendered, accepting the pink paper ticket you dug out from your bag, your fingers brushing against his when he took the slip of paper from your grasp.
Then once Eddie got back to his trailer, he stared at the ticket for a few minutes in the dark, an odd stirring sensation settling in his stomach. He'd been your best friend for 11 years at this point. You were about to graduate. He was about to repeat senior year.
Next year would be the first year he wouldn't be spending every moment with you.
The panic that filled his throat was foreign, chest feeling as if an elephant was standing on top his body, prickly stabbing sensations in his lower abdomen. Staring at the pink slip of paper, Eddie turned the ticket over by the window, watching how the font of the words 'senior prom' flickered and changed under the pale moonlight.
Eddie had to tell you.
If there was any day to tell you that he loved you, that he wanted something more, it would have to be on prom night.
Letting out a shaky exhale, Eddie carefully tucked the ticket underneath a set of magazines on his desk, before forcing himself to drift off to sleep.
Prom came in a flash. Wayne had gone the extra mile of driving to the town next over to rent a proper suit for him, the velvet fabric and square shoulders fitting his figure nicely. But Eddie didn't recognize himself in this sort of attire - he was still pulling at stray hems and ruffling with the edges of the fabric in the mirror when he'd realize that he'd wasted twenty minutes just staring at himself.
"Shit."
His plan was to seek you out the moment he arrived, but the gymnasium was packed with people - a flurry of glittery fabrics and bright party lights, blue and purple balloons tied to the ivory white chairs and tables, fairy string lights intertwined with satin curtains. He'd bumped into his science club friends and before he knew it, he was practically pinned to be by their side, the sea of unfamiliar faces blocking you from view.
He caught the sight of you a full hour and a half into the dance, a brief glimpse of white velvet fabric as you easily walked through the crowd greeting people, before you disappeared from sight again. Eddie was already beginning to excuse himself from his friend group when static rang out from the stage, and the principal announced that it was time to read the results for the prom title crownings.
It was only when the party had completely died down - crushed coke cans and rumpled party banners on the floor, a slow forgettable song flowing from the speakers, half-eaten paper plates stacked on top of stained tablecloths - that he was able to approach you. You were mid-conversation with the principal, probably exchanging pleasantries as the balding man applauded your effort and all your service the past four years, before you turned and your bright eyes drooped in exhaustion.
They lightened up, however, when they landed on his figure, and you excitedly waved at him.
"There you are! Had a great time?" you questioned, excited to hear his response.
"Yeah! Shame we just uh, didn't get our dance." Eddie awkwardly added, hoping to mask his disappointment. The cleaning team had already begun to take the decorations down, the music club tidying up the DJ booth on the stage behind you.
"We can still have our dance, silly. Follow me."
You quietly led him out to the parking lot, which was now completely abandoned save for the few empty vehicles and black streetlights. Leading Eddie over to your car, you opened the front seat and dug out your Walkman from your bag. Checking which cassette was in, you grinned, pressing play and placing the player on the roof of your car.
"Come on, I don't bite." you'd joked, noticing how Eddie had seemingly tensed up as the music began to flow and you placed arm over his neck. He nodded, a weak smile on his face, before he carefully put his two hands on your waist, gently swaying to the romantic melodies of Ella Fitzgerald.
"You alright?" you asked, noticing that he wasn't making any eye contact with you, his brown orbs instead choosing to focus on how his feet shuffled on the pavement next to yours.
"Y-yeah." he breathed out, glancing up for a brief moment. "It's just-"
He paused. You looked ethereal. Even in the dull, harsh yellow light of the street lamps, you carried an almost golden glow, your facial features only seemingly complimented by the night sky. He swore he could count every individual star in the sky in your eyes, your French perfume washing over him in waves, clouding his senses like toxic smoke.
"We've been friends since we were 7." Eddie slowly started out as you laughed quietly, shaking your head in affirmation.
"Yeah. Nearly 11 years, crazy, huh?"
"Y-yeah. And I've been thinking, since this is our last year together in Hawkins before you go off to university, I should be... honest with you."
You frowned at that, your grin dropping for a fraction of a second before a curious smirk replaced it.
"You telling me you haven't been honest with me?"
"Not like that! But, I realized something. It's something I've been thinking about for, uh, a while, and maybe I should've said earlier but there never seemed to be a good time."
He was practically shaking with nerves, throat closing up, alarm bells ringing in his head. He could tell that you could sense his sudden anxiety, the way his breath stopped coming out in regular intervals and his shoulders tensed as if bracing for impact.
"What is it, Eddie?"
This was it. He took in a deep breath, looked you right in the eyes, and opened his mouth, "I love you" on the tip of his tongue-
"(Y/n)! You want any sides with your pizza?" another voice rang out from the car two spots down, from a blue BMW belonging to a student none other than Steve Harrington.
Fuck.
Eddie knew of Steve. They weren't friends, hardly acquaintances. But he knew that Steve was everything Eddie wasn't: popular, charming, star basketball player, adored by everyone, Hawkins royalty. Now that Eddie thought about it, he'd vaguely seen you and Steve talking in between classes and after basketball games - just catching up on random things, you'd insisted, just two close friends.
Now Eddie wasn't too sure how true that statement was.
"Just pizza is fine, thanks! But maybe some soda?" you shouted over, breaking away from Eddie for a moment, and he cursed himself for how he instantly missed your warm arms being wrapped around him. Steve flashed you a thumbs up from his driver's seat before driving into the night, leaving Eddie to stare at you with baited curiosity.
"You're... going off to Harrington's?"
"Yeah! His parents are out of town and he just got the sickest television - like the newest model - and a few VHS tapes rented out. He also helped out the most with the prom whilst I was planning it, so I offered to pay for pizza when he asked if I wanted to come over for movie night."
Red hot flashes of anger blinded Eddie's vision for a second, before it was replaced by crushing sadness - you were going over to Steve Harrington's. Alone. After prom. To watch a movie.
Something you two did all the time.
Eddie was trying his best to keep his face neutral, to prevent the devastating realization that he'd waited too long to confess his love to weigh down his smile. His efforts seemed to pay off, as the small smile on your face never faded, before you shook those thoughts off and stared up at Eddie innocently.
"Anyways, you wanted to... tell me something?"
Suddenly, Eddie hated the song that was playing in the background - Dream a Little Dream of Me - and his throat ran dry.
"Yeah. Just... once you leave, can I use your cafeteria card?"
Chuckling, you nodded, still completely blind to how devastated Eddie was internally.
"Sure, Eddie. Really, that was what you were so scared to ask me about?"
'No.' he responded automatically, internally.
"Yeah. I know, it's kinda dumb, but I just wasn't sure if the school president would be willing to bend the rules for me a bit." he teased, mock smile on his lips, elbowing you on the side. You shoved him off playfully.
"Please, I'd do anything for you, Eds. You're my best friend."
The words felt bitter on his tongue now, mouth filling with sour tones, but he nonetheless forced himself to smile at you warmly.
The moonlight was blinding him.
-----------------------------------------
66: your drunken ramblings. I swear, when you're drunk, you become a total clumsy, reckless mess. It's hilarious but also concerning, if I'm being honest. No wonder Robin is always playing the sober driver around you.
The first year without you was brutal, Eddie found.
He'd made a few new friends after your departure to Boston, boys who were equally obsessed with fictional universes and fantasy roleplaying as him - Jeff and Gareth, with whom he created the 'Hellfire Club' with - and he'd joined Corroded Coffin as a guitarist.
Anything to fill the void, now that you were no longer here.
On a good month, you'd be able to call him on a Sunday late at night to fill Eddie in on how you were adjusting to university life. He'd listen to you ramble about anything - your course, your new friends, how hectic and busy and off putting you found the bustling city - with a lovesick grin on his face, imagining in his mind how you'd scrunch up your face and toy with the telephone chord with your fingers during the conversation.
"You always let me talk too much on these catch up calls." you'd once teased, slightly embarrassed. "Feel free to tell me to shut up at any time."
"Never." Eddie had insisted, sitting up straight. He'd never get tired of listening to your sweet voice from half away across the country.
But there were many more months where neither of you could call - exam seasons, holidays spent apart, the fact that you lived by a university schedule and Eddie still went by a high school one. And though Eddie was beginning to adjust nicely to his new group of friends and was determined to graduate on his second try, nothing quite filled the gaping hole in his heart left by your absence.
So when you'd finally come back for summer break, Eddie basically refused to leave you alone. On the second week upon your return, you'd showed up at his trailer with an interesting proposition.
"You remember Amber? Head cheerleader our final year together?"
Eddie shook his head, biting down the truth which was that he had no idea who you were talking about.
"Well, I got an invitation to her engagement party and I can bring a plus one. Wanna... come with me?"
Had anyone else asked Eddie, he would've said no in a heartbeat. But he was starved of your presence, having missed you for a whole year, and how could he say no to you now when you were in front of him? Breathing, real, smiling so prettily, asking for him to spend a whole day with you?
"Sure."
Eddie semi-regretted it later on when you two actually drove up to the party later that night.
"I hate parties." Eddie groaned into his half-empty beer bottle, leaning against the balcony whilst Robin just shot him an amused grin, having been invited as a plus one to Steve.
"Then why'd you come?" she pressed, pink lips wrapping around an half empty wine bottle. The answer was simple, really - Eddie had come for you.
Otherwise, he truly couldn't care less about attending a fancy engagement party on the upper east side of Hawkins. Houses lined with white picket fences, expensive cars parked by marble driveways, huge penthouses with glazed windows and arched ceilings.
"You came for (L/n), right?" the brunette teased, licking her lower lips to catch the stray drops of alcohol dancing on her tongue.
"I guess so, yeah." he'd confessed, dropping his gaze to the floor.
"... When are you just gonna come out and say it?" Robin had then questioned, placing her hands on her hips, as if she was a parent scolding a child. "Seriously, Steve and I have placed bets since sophomore year and we're still sore losers at this point because neither of us have won our bets."
Eddie sighed, eyes flicking up to look into the large living room filled with sweaty bodies dancing to the loud house music, his eyes easily being able to scan the crowd to narrow in on your figure. You were twirling Steve around in a dramatic manner, almost making the boy bump into the table of food and topple over a stack of cupcakes, to which you quickly shouted out an apology and Steve began to laugh uncontrollably.
"It's not that simple, Buckley."
"Uh, it's very simple, Munson." she dragged out her sentence in a dramatic fashion, leaning against the balcony with one arm propped up as she looked him up and down. "You ask to go somewhere private. You say "I've loved you since we were 7." You two kiss and start to date."
She counted off of her fingers one by one as if crossing off a hypothetical list, before smiling at the metalhead. Eddie just scowled at that - god, none of his friends knew just how hard it was for him.
"It's not just... that. Like it's one thing that I've kept this a secret for over a decade now."
"Then what's stopping you?"
Eddie paused. He'd never confessed this to anyone before, he realized, staring up at his friend's curious face. He'd kept his insecure thoughts close to his chest, afraid of letting any of them see the light of day, afraid of the judgment he'd call upon himself upon being vulnerable.
But hell, what did he have to lose?
"I just don't know if... I'm good enough."
"What'd you mean?"
"Like... I've always been the outsider. The weirdo looking in. Sunshine's not like that. Popular, extroverted, outgoing, friendly - good at everything, loved by everyone. Even though we've been best friends for over a decade now, I've always felt as if... (Y/n)'s out of reach from me. I don't think I'd really be able to match up to someone like that."
Robin's smile faded into an expression of sympathy, which Eddie flashed her a grateful smile in response, her left hand then springing up to clasp onto his shoulder.
"Shit, Eddie... That's heavy. I had no idea."
Eddie wasn't quite sure if he appreciated or loathed the sorry smile on her face.
"Yeah, well, it's whatever. Just how things are, I guess."
Robin opened her mouth to object when you and Steve messily cut into the conversation, you practically tripping on your feet with how drunk you were, the sting of alcohol wafting off of you in waves.
"I've had seven shots of vodka." you proudly announced, steadying yourself against Eddie's shoulders by shakily grasping his body. He had to steady you upright as you toppled over on a step you didn't see, his sturdy arms hooking underneath your shaky arms. "Oops."
"Jokes on you, I've had eight." Steve countered, swaying from side to side, leaning on Robin who only rolled her eyes playfully and shoved him off.
"You alright?" Eddie whispered underneath Robin and Steve's loud bickering, brushing away stray strands of hair from your glazed over eyes. You nodded, humming lowly, before your bottom lip protruded in a pout.
"Mmhmm. I need more vodka though."
"Oh no you don't-" Eddie had to physically drag your body out of reach from the stacks of vodka bottles decorating the main table, your small frown quickly displaced by a mopey grin as you buried your drunken head into the pit of his arm. "I'm taking you home."
"I don't need to go home, I just need to sober up a bit!" you'd insisted, pushing away from Eddie, flailing your arms around. "Come on, the cake hasn't even been brought out yet, and I promised Amber I'd stick around till then."
"Fine." Eddie set his red solo cup down by the wooden railings, before decisively grabbing your left hand in his. "We're going for a walk to sober up then, okay?"
"Okay."
It was a chilly summer evening, green leaves and stray weeds crunching underneath his boots as you stumbled behind him, your warm hands a stark contrast from Eddie's cold ones. He could feel his metal rings shift against your skin as you swayed your linked arms together back and forth like a child, wide smile on your lips.
"Sobering up?" he'd teased, shooting you an amused grin in the dark, the empty streets illuminated only by the flickering yellow streetlights, the crescent moon hidden behind a fog of clouds.
"Hardly." you grumbled.
"Guess we need to walk a bit more."
Eventually, the two of you stumbled across an empty playground, and before Eddie could talk you out of it you'd decided to make a run towards the seesaw, forcing him to follow behind you closely.
"(Y/n)-"
"Sit, Eddie." you'd instructed, pushing down on his shoulders to force him down on one side. "Please, Eddie? Like the old times?"
Eddie smiled at that - it felt just like yesterday that Eddie was seven, red flushed face peeking underneath half-formed head of curls, clutching onto the seesaw in the school playground. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, he pretended to surrender into it, sitting down on to the wooden plank.
That somehow devolved into chasing you around the playground: pushing you down the slide, racing you to the top of the monkey bars, spinning you on the merry-go-round until you physically couldn't breathe anymore from how hard you were laughing. Eddie was no different, eyes tearing up as he fell onto the trampoline next to you, heavy breaths meeting the cold air as he tried to regain his breath.
"So much for a quick walk." he'd muttered, staring up at the few stars twinkling above.
"Did the job of sobering me up a bit though." you countered. "And plus, you can't tell me that playgrounds aren't real fucking fun. Even if we're adults."
"Not denying that, sunshine."
You turned over to stare at him, face a few inches from his, and there was a certain glint in your eyes that he couldn't quite read. Hint of a smile on your dry lips, your hands came up underneath your head to support it, fabric rustling as you adjusted your posture.
"It's crazy, isn't it? We're now at a age where our friends are getting fucking engaged."
"It's mental, yeah."
"... You ever think you'd want to get married? Like Amber?" you raised your eyebrows, voice half serious but half playful. His immediate answer - that he often thought about marriage with you - passed by his mind like a bullet train before he quickly replaced it with a safer answer.
"I'd like to think so, eventually, yeah. What about you?"
You hummed.
"Not sure. I'm a bit scared by the whole 'life commitment' aspect of it. I think the only person I've been able to tolerate my whole life has been like, you. Funny, huh?" you'd joked, sitting up right, as Eddie did the same.
His heart was pounding at a million beats per minute, your innocuous comment sparking electricity in his veins, but he had to remind himself instantly: you didn't mean anything by it.
"Yeah, funny."
Once returning to the party, Eddie found that the rest of the party participants had devolved into a game of truth or dare and spin the bottle. He'd participated in the latter, semi-half heartedly, at your insistence. All was fine until the beer bottle landed on you, and the person to your left announced that you had to kiss whoever you knew for the longest in the circle.
You'd done the unthinkable to Eddie, simply turning towards him, grabbing his face and giving him a fierce, wet kiss. It was the kind of kiss that had all the girls screaming in excitement and all the boys hollering with whistles, the kind that made Eddie break out in red flushes of embarrassment, mouth still tingling with the aftertaste of vodka and your honey chapstick when you pulled away.
"Didn't wanna lose, sorry Eds." you'd commented against his lips, flashing him a wink. He would've given you a joking comment in response, but his mouth was dry and his palms were sweaty, mind still catching up with what had just happened.
It was a joke. You were drunk.
But damn, Eddie wanted to have your lips on his again.
----------------------------------------------
83: you're an absolute whiz with the kids. Not just Henderson, the whole gang. Sometimes, I think they like you more than me - which I can't be offended by either. I like you more than me.
Second year without you in Hawkins.
Eddie was repeating senior year again.
God, it sucked. There were only so many late night calls and hastily written letters he could exchange with you before he went mad. He swore it had become a nightly ritual to stare at his house phone and to check his calendar each morning, counting down every day before any major holiday during which you might return to Hawkins.
You'd missed Christmas last year due to a research project and you'd similarily chose to spent Easter in Boston, leaving Eddie bored and a bit lonely. Sure, Eddie had gotten used to Hawkins High at this point. Hell, he'd started to revel in being the weirdo, the outcast, of purposefully pissing off the popular kids.
But it never got easy missing you.
It was a boring Tuesday morning. Eddie was thinking of anything in particular, eyes still laden with fatigue and his head still stuck in his semi-dreamlike state, when he'd stumbled over to his trailer door and swung it open.
But you were waiting for him on the other side, in a pair of blue jeans and a warm maroon university sweatshirt covering your figure, your arms outstretched for a hug.
"SURPRISE!"
He blinked at you silently like a deer in headlights, to which you chuckled nervously and lowered your arms slightly.
"Oh. Did I-"
Eddie didn't let you finish your sentence before he basically pummeled into you, wrapping his sturdy arms around your waist, squeezing you so tight that you couldn't breathe as he mumbled his next words against your neck.
"Holy shit, I missed you so much." his voice was wavering the slightest bit, tears lingering in the corner of his eyes which he rapidly blinked away before you could see them form properly.
"I missed you so much too, moonshine." you replied softly, voice tinged with adoration and fondness.
"H-how, or I guess, why are you here?"
"I got a day off earlier than I thought on my research project and I don't have any plans for the weekend so... figured I'd swing by Hawkins!"
"Swing by? You're not staying?" Eddie's smile fell by a fraction.
"I'm only here for a day before I'm flying back - I have to start preparing for midterms, plus I told one of my friends back in Boston that I'd help her move."
"Well." Eddie had teased, wrapping one arm around your shoulder, his other hand dangling the keys to his van. "Guess we gotta make the most of these 24 hours, huh?"
His first stop was to take you to the diner you were obsessed with, a small red and white colored establishment hidden behind the gas station that served the best french fries and milkshake you swore you'd ever tasted.
"God, I've missed this." you groaned, taking a light sip of the frothy dessert. "This is why I came back, actually." you joked, making him pout like a petulant child.
"You're mean."
"Eh. You like it."
His smile was automatic - he was just too happy to be in your company again, to see how your cheeks dimpled with a smile, to hear your lively voice right by his ears.
"I do."
The next stop was decided by you to be the arcade. Impatient at how slowly Eddie was walking, you grabbed his left hand to tug him along, making him chuckle at how excited you seemed to be over a couple of video games.
"(Y/n)?" a small, quiet voice rang out, stealing your attention away from Eddie and making you drop his hand.
"DUSTY!!!"
You eagerly waved over the curly haired boy whose face lit up in a wide grin at the sight of you, before he stumbled over and hugged you fiercely, awed expression marking his face.
"I thought you'd still in Boston!"
"I am! I'm just back for the day."
"Cool! Who's this?" Dustin had asked, pointing at Eddie, semi-frown etched on his face. Eddie had to suppress a scowl at that, as well as swallowing a harsh "get lost." He had no idea who this middle school kid was, but he already didn't like that (a) this kid had taken your attention away from Eddie and (b) now the boy was cutting into your one day back in Hawkins with Eddie.
"Oh right, this is Eddie, my best friend! Eddie, this is Dustin, one of the kids I used to babysit."
"Nice to meet you." Eddie had forced out, attempting to give the younger boy a reassuring grin. The faux smile didn't seem to work on Dustin, who only scrunched up his face in response, his sour expression melting away into a warm one the moment his eyes met back up with yours.
"Speaking of babysitting, I hope Steve's been treating you well." you teased, ruffling Dustin's hair. The younger boy sighed dramatically at that.
"I wish. In fact, Harrington's supposed to be 'watching me' here at the arcade - in reality, he's here to flirt with her."
You looked over to where he was pointing to see Steve leaning over the counter of the arcade, coy smirk on his face as he clearly tried to charm a pretty blonde girl.
"Tragic. I see his flirting skills haven't improved." you teased, making Dustin chuckle as well. "Hey, remember when you thought Steve and I were dating?" you looked back at Eddie, wiggling your eyebrows.
Eddie flushed red with embarrassment at that, whilst the younger boy's mouth dropped open in surprise.
"You two DATED?"
"No, Dusty, never. But this silly man over here-" you elbowed Eddie, and he shoved you off quickly with a small scowl on his face. "Thought that Steve and I were an item at one point. Senior year, in fact. As if Steve's not like the big brother I never had."
"You two do fight like siblings." Dustin added, and your smirk only widened. "Speaking of Steve, uh, since he's basically ditched me for the blonde - can I hang out with you for the rest of the day? Please?"
"Of course you can!" you exclaimed, nodding enthusiastically. "It's okay if Dustin joins us, right?" you'd asked Eddie, turning around to smile at him.
Eddie wanted to say no. The word was begging to be let out from his lips, sitting heavy on his tongue, but when you flashed him that hopeful glance and that damn kid gave him his puppy dog eyes (damn, Dustin was good at that), Eddie couldn't bear to be the bad guy and deny the invitation.
"Yeah, of course. Come on in, kid."
Eddie eventually loosened up to Dustin's presence over the night - the first hour or so he sulked in the background, feeling like a third wheel to your inside jokes and excited conversations with the boy, until you left to go to the bathroom. Eddie was leaning against the railings with Dustin sitting cross legged on the floor, before the boy picked his head up and pointed to Eddie's shirt.
"What's Hellfire?"
Eddie scoffed.
"You wouldn't get it, kid."
"Uh, I'm about to be a freshman next year, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Come on, I wanna know."
"It's like a... club I started. Where we play games."
"What kind of games? Like Defender and Tron?" the young boy's question was so genuine, expression so innocent and full of wonder, that Eddie couldn't help but laugh a bit and let his guard down.
"No, no. It's called Dungeons and Dragons, D&D for short. It's like a roleplaying game."
Dustin continued to stare at the metalhead, peeking upwards to silently urge him to go on, and within minutes, Eddie was telling the curly haired boy everything he had to know about D&D. To his surprise, Dustin's attention never once wavered, only interrupting Eddie to ask questions and to press him further for more information.
"Aw man, that sounds so cool! I wish I could play right now." Dustin stated, eyes wide with awe.
"Well, Hellfire Club is open to any Hawkins High student - once you're a freshman next year, you and your friends are all welcome to join."
"Really?"
"Yeah dude! More the merrier, right?"
"Oh, awesome!"
"Did I miss something?" you'd joked, wiping your hands on the knee pads of your jeans, eyes flickering between the two excitable boys. You'd clearly missed a bonding moment between them, it seemed, and it warmed your heart to see your best friend and Dustin get along so well in your absence.
"Eddie just told me about D&D and said I could join his club next year! Isn't that cool?" Dustin rambled, tugging at your sleeves. You chuckled, nodding.
"That's very cool, Dustin. Now come on, I'm pretty sure I'm still better than you at Centipede and I want to prove it."
Night settled into Hawkins quickly, dark black skies covering the streets as you ushered Dustin into the back of Eddie's van, refusing to let him cycle back home in the dark. Eddie had to stop at a gas station for a brief moment, and you stopped him from getting out, waving your wallet in your right hand.
"Stay. I'll cover gas."
"And can you pick up some beef jerky too? Please?" Dustin asked from the back, jostling up and down from his seat. You chuckled at his antics, unstrapping your seat belt.
"Sure, Dusty. I'll be right back, okay?"
Once you shut the door and your figure disappeared behind the bright lights of the gas station store, Dustin spoke up.
"How long have you been crushing on (Y/n)?"
"WHAT?" Eddie had spluttered out, choking on air as he coughed repeatedly to let air back into his lungs. Dustin just shook his head sideways at that, clicking his tongue against the roof his mouth.
"Come on, dude, it's obvious. How long have you been pining after my babysitter? A year?"
Silence.
"Three years?"
Silence.
"MORE THAN FIVE YEARS?" Dustin shouted out, surprised. Eddie bit his lower lip, before the admission fell out with a heavy sigh.
"More like twelve."
"TWELVE?"
Eddie quickly turned around from his seat up front, twisting his upper body to glare at the younger boy.
"Yeah, 12 years, anyways, that's not that important. How the hell did you know?"
The curly haired boy just shrugged, smiling smugly as if it was common knowledge and Eddie was the idiot for not figuring it out.
"You were glaring daggers into Steve's head when he accidentally touched hands with (Y/n) whilst they were talking. Oh, and you won't stop staring. And smiling. And subtledly flirting. And you have that lovesick grin on your face that Lucas gets for Max or Mike gets for El."
"I don't know who those people are." Eddie had countered.
"They're my friends - whatever, it's not important. The point is, Eddie, you look at my babysitter the same way my friends look at their girlfriends."
The heated conversation was cut off short by you reappearing by the driver's window, the metal door swinging open as you waved the beef jerky packet over your head before tossing it to Dustin in the back seat.
"Gas has been taken care of and here is your jerky, Dustin. Ready to go?" you asked cheerily, totally oblivious to the conversation you've just missed between the two boys. Innocent smiles on both their faces, both boys nodded silently, though Dustin flashed Eddie a sly smirk in the rearview mirror.
"Where to next?" Eddie teased once Dustin had been dropped off.
"My house, please. I need to pick up my backpack before I head off to the airport, gotta use the phone to call a taxi too."
"Let me drive you." Eddie offered immediately, swallowing down his tired yawns. You frowned at that, worried.
"Are you sure? It's a bit of a long drive, Eds, and it's already kinda late at night-"
"Nonsense, sunshine. I'm driving you and that's final."
In reality, Eddie was trying to stretch out as much of his time with you as he could. He knew he had an early start tomorrow and he was feeling rather tired, but he'd be damned if he was going to lose out on an extra hour next to you by letting you take a taxi instead.
"Alright then." you smiled, nodding.
His van pulled up to the airport too quickly for Eddie's liking, his immature first thought being that he wanted to lock his car doors to prevent you from getting out.
"Take care of him for me, would you?" you'd asked once Eddie had driven you to the airport, swinging your backpack over your shoulder, fiddling with the clasps. "Him and all his friends, if you end up meeting them all next year as freshmen... They're all lovely kids. They could all use someone as amazing as you looking out for them."
His heart melted at your admission and he nodded automatically, slow grin appearing on his chapped lips.
"Of course. They're in safe hands."
"Thanks, Eds."
You stepped forward to give him one last hug, your face squished against his upper chest, and Eddie took his time to commit the feeling of your arms around him to memory.
All the loud noise - the intercom announcing flight details, the distant chatter of conversations from strangers, the shuffling of luggage and dragging of feet on the floor - dissipated into the background, his senses overwhelmed with one and only one thing.
You.
And how much he loved you.
"See you soon?" Eddied added hopefully once you two parted. He'd beg you to come back for at least Christmas, but that was never a given and he didn't want to be standing in the way of your career. You smiled back at him gently, patting his hands reassuringly.
"See you soon, moonshine."
----------------------------------------
95: your bravery. I'll never forget how you handled finding out about the Upside Down. Whilst I wanted to run as far away from the monsters, you dived in headfirst. I was worried sick for you, you know. But I knew it was dumb of me to expect otherwise - you're the type of person willing to put your life on the line for your friends.
Eddie wished he'd seen you again in much better circumstances.
Not when he was repeating senior year for the third time and he was being hunted down by Jason Carver and the entire police department under suspicision for murder.
He immediately tensed when he heard footsteps and a crowd of voices ring out from the entrance of the lakehouse, his breath catching in his throat as he tried to remain as still as possible from his hiding spot. His mind was racing with an array of threats and worst case scenarios, his hands immediately reaching to the knife digging into his thigh.
"I'm telling you, Steve, things don't add up! Eddie would never kill someone."
He knew that voice. It was you. There was a rumbling amongst the group before the lakehouse fell back into the silence, save for soft padding of a single pair of feet against the wooden floor and the creaking of the front door.
"Eddie? You in here?"
Hesitant for a second but too eager to see you, he lifted his head slowly, dropping the knife back into his back pocket as he straightened up to meet you face to face. To his surprise, your face lacked any sign of judgment or disgust - instead, your eyes brightened with relief and you pulled him in to a bone crushing hug.
"Thank god you're okay! You are okay, right? You're not injured?" you frantically fired off one question after another, hands clutching his chin to lift his head up, eyes grazing over his entire figure scanning for any injuries. He smiled at that - the first genuine smile on his face in weeks - before gathering your hands up in his own and clasping them tight.
"I'm alright, sunshine. Don't worry. More importantly, why are you here?"
"Steve called."
"And?"
"Said you were in trouble. Suspcision for murder. I cancelled all my plans, lied about a family emergency and got here as fast as I could." you rambled, pausing for a moment to shoot him a look of shock. "By the way, did you know that the town is like connected to this hellish mirror universe called the Upside Down? And like there are these supernatural entities showing up threatening to break the very fabric of reality?"
"I don't know too much but based on what I saw with Chrissy, I'm... inclined to believe you more than not." Eddie responded, only to be cut off by Steve's voice from outside.
"YOU'RE STILL ALIVE, RIGHT? CAN WE COME IN NOW?"
You rolled your eyes at that.
"YES, STEVE, I'M ALIVE. They can all come in, right? I swear Steve and the kids can explain everything better than I can."
"Of course."
Eddie had a slightly easier time grasping everything than you - when you'd shot him an incredulous look he simply shrugged and smirked, insisting that it was akin to the many villains and monsters possible in D&D.
The day bled into night quickly and led to you, Nancy, Robin, Steve and Eddie standing by the edge of the lake whilst staring at a rickety wooden boat.
"I call shotgun." you yelled out, brustling past Eddie, only for him to grab your arm and yank you back.
"Uh, I don't think so. You're staying back."
"Says who?"
"Says me! Look, this is too dangerous, I'd rather you stick with the kids or at the very least just wait for us here."
The thought of you getting injured - his nightmares still haunted by what had happened to Chrissy in front of his eyes - made Eddie sick with dread and disgust, goosebumps rising against his skin.
"Tough shit, moonshine." you'd countered, undeterred. "I'm getting on that damn boat whether you want me to or not."
God, you were stubborn, Eddie cursed internally whilst running a hand down his face. He shot his friends standing behind you awkwardly a pleading look.
"Help me out here, guys, come on."
"... Hate to be that person, but if you're coming along then I don't see why (Y/n) can't." Robin added, shrugging her shoulders.
"Also, if this portal is underwater then it'd be good to have another great swimmer in the group." Steve chimed in, and you smirked at Eddie proudly.
"See? And I was varsity swimming captain all four years in high school. You're outnumbered, Eddie, now stop worrying so much."
Biting down his protests, Eddie gave in, though he made it a point to sit as close as he could to you should something go wrong.
And of course things went wrong - Steve got dragged in by an unseen force, you jumped in to the freezing waters right after him, so quick that Eddie hadn't even registered that you'd dived into the lake until the freezing cold waters splashed down onto his jeans.
Shit.
Black slime coating your fingers, grey ash dotting your eyebrows and crimson blood dripping from your coarse fingers, you were a terrifying sight to behold when Eddie saw you next. Clutching a carving knife strapped to your side, you were fearlessly cutting through the swarm of demon bats, saving Steve from potential death.
No, certain death, Eddie thought as you leaned down and helped Steve stand up on shaky legs. A twinge of jealousy stabbed at Eddie's chest at the sight of you shrugging off your jacket to wrap it around Steve's scarred torso, and Eddie couldn't help but think that Steve's hand lingered for too long on your back for it to just be friendly.
"Stop fuming at Steve, yeah? He did save our ass." Robin commented quietly from the side, smirking.
"Was not fuming at Harrington." was Eddie's weak response, to which Nancy and Robin only shot each other an amused glance. The girls ran to support Steve as Eddie walked right up to you, your eyes still on your muddied jeans as you wiped away the excess grime on the faded fabric.
"Hi again." you'd said nonchalantly. "Great weather we're having, huh?" you'd joked, wry smile on your dry lips.
Eddie couldn't believe you.
"You're impossible. And insane. Like actually, totally, insane." he'd responded, shaking his head sideways, awed and impressed.
Here you were - having just found out the truth about Hawkins and confronting a swarm of deadly supernatural creatures, covered in dirt, blood and ash - joking with him as if it was just another normal Wednesday. He didn't know whether to applaud you or scold you for your intense loyalty and bravery.
"You love it though." you stuck your tongue out at him, straightening up.
"I do." he'd said softly.
'And I love you.' was on the tip of his tongue.
But he swallowed it back, being grounded back to reality once Nancy called out to you two to catch up. Shaky feet almost slipping on dirtied grime and blood underneath, he figured there were much bigger things to worry about.
Much, much bigger things.
----------------------------------------
100: you.
Eddie used to think that that day was the most terrifying for him. Watching your body disappear under inky waters, running from demonic creatures, his fingers aching from repeatedly clenching around a metal baseball bat.
No, he's sure now that waiting for you to finish reading the letter is the most terrifying thing ever to have happened to him.
It's a painful and silent twenty minutes, during which he watches your lips quirk into fond smiles and silly frowns - he has to remind you repeatedly to continue reading, and to stop interrupting yourself to say something sentimental to him - all the whilst his heart beats so loud it drowns out the rain beginning to pour outside.
He figures you've finally reached the end when your expression suddenly twists into one of confusion, and you slowly look up at him through your lashes.
"Did you give up on the final point?" you joke, making Eddie frown.
"What'd you mean?"
"For number 100. You just wrote one word: 'you.' For all the other numbers, you wrote down more than that."
"Right." Eddie affirms, lacing his fingers together nonchalantly. He hopes the dim lighting in the room is masking his flushed cheeks, and that his voice is remaining as stable as he thinks it is in his head. "I told you I wrote a list of 100 things I love about you, right?"
"Yeah." you repeat back, still not grasping it.
God, he wonders, how could you be so bright yet so oblivious that he has to spell it out for you?
"All the other numbers combined, leading up to number 100. The thing I love the most about you is... that you're, uh, you." he slowly finishes.
Eddie's sentence hangs heavy in the air, atmosphere in the room suddenly sweltering hot and thick, your fingers slowly closing the envelope with your arms falling to your lap.
"... What are you saying?"
There was no going back.
"I love you."
There.
He'd said it.
Nearly 15 years of secret pining, of watching you date one guy after another whilst feigning disinterest, of being teased by all your mutual friends for his infatuation for you, of accepting your warm hugs and nightly cuddles as nothing but platonic...
All down to those three cursed words: i love you.
It's out in the open now, Eddie's stomach twisting with a tornado of emotions as he carefully tries to gauge your reaction. You're motionless, eyes wide and unblinking for a moment, your deft hands dropping the letter onto the bed.
"A-are... are you serious?" you squeak out.
Eddie suppresses a laugh at how shocked and in disbelief you seem to be.
"Well... yeah. Trust me, I wouldn't write 100 things I love about someone just for anyone."
You just nod at that, emotionless, eyes falling to your carpeted floor. He can't figure out what you're thinking, but it feels as if time is ticking by achingly slow and his lungs burn with anticipation with every beat of silence that passes in your bedroom.
It's killing Eddie, not knowing what you're thinking, and for a second he's worried that he's done for.
That he's destroyed your friendship, you're about to frown and tell him that you're sorry but you don't feel the same way. He opens his mouth to quickly begin to let out a string of apologies, preapred to swallow back all his words and beg for forgiveness, but he doesn't get to it.
He can't speak, he can't breathe, he can hardly process anything else other than the fact that your lips are now suddenly on his, your legs straddling his lap as you tackle him onto the mattress. Teeth clashing against teeth, it's desperate, his fingers gripping onto your waist tightly as your lips chase his.
He can taste the remnants of the buttercream frosting from your birthday cake, your lips pillowy and soft. He's kissed you once before, sure - that drunken kiss for the game of truth or dare - but nothing compares to this, the way his vision blinds in ivory white, finger tips buzzing with electricity, heart aflame with infatuation and lust at the way you growl and deepen the kiss.
"I love you too, Eddie." you reply afterwards, lips still swollen from the aftermath of the kiss.
"Really?"
It's his turn to be shocked, heart skipping at the amount of adoration and awe in your hoarse voice.
"Yeah. But w.... why didn't you say anything earlier?" you ask quietly, bewildered. Eddie laughs awkwardly at that, shrugging.
"That's the million dollar question, I guess. I don't know, I just... everyone loves you and wants you. You're so beautiful and talented and outgoing and I... I wasn't sure if you'd ever want to choose me." he mutters out hesitantly, scratching his neck, purposefully avoiding your gaze.
Eddie's a little embarrassed and ashamed to be admitting it now, knowing that you do indeed love him back, but it all melts away like ice in the summer heat when your fingers redirect his chin upwards to meet your gaze.
You're practically glowing with happiness, golden halo around your hairline.
"Always, Eddie. I'd always choose you."
a/n: ANOTHER slow burn Eddie fic down! If you're actually read this right now and you read to the end = thank you. After the overwhelming love y'all gave me for 'you made me hate this city', I knew I had to add another fic to this collection. And ofc, Taylor is my fave artist of all time so it seemed only fitting i honor her with a fic.
SIGH so this fic ALMOST wasn't published. Like i really genuinely didn't know if I would end up posting this. I was (and still am) afraid of putting it out there lmao bc of its length and the unusual writing (like the flashbacks and letter structure), but alas.
Warnings: kissing, swearing, little angst, not proofread
Parings: Roger Taylor x Reader
Notes: just a cute little fluff, my queen obsession is coming back :)
Word count: 2.2k
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“Are you sure you have everything?” Your roommate Harmony asked once again, “Yes, I’m sure I do,” you said nodding your head and packing your last bag. “You better, because if you call me and ask me to bring you something,-“ “I owe you twenty bucks, I know,” you said, knowing the promise you made her. She smiled at you and nodded, walking out of your room.
You were going on a ten hour road trip, TEN HOURS! it was gonna be a fun, yet painful ride. But, you couldn’t refuse. John was practically on his knees begging for you to come, he was your best friend, and you couldn’t say no to him. It was his birthday soon as-well, and they were doing a couple shows up in Las Vegas, so of course you had to tag along.
You tried to convince him to let you meet him there, so you wouldn’t have to sit in a vehicle with the other members of the band for ten hours. Actually, so you wouldn’t have to sit in a vehicle with Roger for ten hours.
He was probably one of the most gorgeous men you have ever met, but also the most annoying, nerve racking, eye rolling playboy you’ve ever met in your entire life. He knew how to get your last nerve to just snap, and you hated it, absolutely hated it, you also hated the fact that you were secretly totally head over heels for the guy, in love.
But sometimes you just wanted to punch his face in, or just knee him in the balls. And then, other times, you wanted to kiss him and just confess everything to him. You didn’t know which one you wanted more, you thought it was punching and kicking him, but you could never tell.
You sat out the front of your house, on top of one of your three suitcases. Tapping your foot, waiting for the slightly large blue van to pull up, you wore a comfortable outfit considering the long drive, but truthfully you made sure it was just a tad bit revealing. You wanted to gain Rogers attention, maybe to get at him, or maybe just feeling praised by a gorgeous man made you feel confident.
You heard music blaring, and a loud engine to pare with it. You looked up from your book to see the nice blue van, you watched as Brain opened the door for you and crawled out a bit, while John jumped out and helped with your things.
“Hey boys,” you smiled standing up, grabbing one of your suitcases while John grabbed the other two, you peaked in the van to see Roger sitting in the back, an empty seat next to him. You turned to John immediately, “Don’t tell me I’m sitting next to Roger,” you groaned, “Yeah, I’m sorry,” John said with a half smile.
“Why can’t Brian sit next to him!” You exclaimed, “I can hear you,” Roger called out, “Good,” you snapped at him not looking at him, “Im not sitting next to him for ten hours,” Brain said slightly leaning over, facing Roger who flipped him off.
“Plus, me and Brian have some stuff we need to work on, and it’s just, easier,” John stated, giving you a half good reason as to why, you rolled your eyes, knowing nobody was gonna even consider swapping with you, “this is gonna be a long ten hours,” you groaned hoping in next to Roger.
“Trust me princess, I’m not happy about it either,” Roger groaned and moved over a bit, “Don’t call me that,” you scoffed back at him, feeling butterflies at the nickname, but brushing them away pretended to be disgusted by the name.
“Do you have to practice right now?” Brain asked Roger, who had his drumsticks up in the air tapping on the seat that Brian was sitting in, “Yeah, I do,” he said continuing, “Seriously Rog, it’s annoying,” you stated trying to grab the sticks, where he just moved away.
“You’ve never called me Rog before,” He stated holding the sticks behind his head, you scoffed and continued to try and grab them, knowing if you didn’t he would just continue, “Give them!” You said; there was no seatbelt in the back so you easily tried to crawl over him to get them, “No,” he said with a small laugh, finding your behaviour amusing.
You finally grabbed the sticks out of his hands, and when you did you actually realised where you were, you were straddled on top of Roger, you looked down at him with pure shock as his giggle faded, slowly smirking, you scoffed and crawled off of him.
Sitting next to him once again a soft blush on your face, throwing the drum sticks next to John, far away from the annoying, childish, handsome guy sitting next to you. Still, another nine and half hours to go.
“Can you move,” Roger said slightly kicking your foot, you rolled your eyes and kept your legs there, “Move,” he said once again kicking harder, “Asshole,” you kicked up back, “that hurt,” you added onto that, “No it didn’t,” he said, “Yeah it did,” you exclaimed nodding your head, “baby,” he said, “Brat,” you snapped back at him.
“Can you guys not, we are only like nine hours in,” John said turning back, “Mind your business Deacon,” you said to him, agitated by the blonde child, “Can you tell her I need space too,” Roger asked John, John looked down over to see Roger had plenty of room.
“You have plenty of room dickhead,” he scoffed looking at Roger, Roger rolled his eyes and shook his head “Your the fucking brat,” Roger said, “At least I’m not fucking my own car,” you said to him, a small laugh coming out of the boys in the front.
“Ay, don’t bring her into this,” Roger said pointing a finger up at you, you laughed a little “Her?” You asked a small laugh, his face going a little red, “Shut up!” He said seriously, but you just couldn’t take it seriously.
“I don’t fuck my car!” He said throwing himself back in his seat, “Then why’d you write a song about it?” You asked looking at him, “because, it’s a hot car,” he said defending himself, “it is a nice car,” Brian leant back and budded in, you looked at Brian with a death stare making him raise his hands and turn around, “what do you do with you car then, make out with it?” You asked mockingly.
“No, I make out in it though, and I fuck in it,” he said with a small smile on his face, “Gross,” you scoffed, “i didn’t need to know that,” you said shaking your head, “Yeah man, to much information,” John said with a disgusted face on, “I’ve sat in that car before!” Brian said, a small laugh escaping me and John after that.
“Sorry!” Roger laughed raising his hands, “you asked princess,” he said, again with that name. “I said don’t call me that!” You snapped at him, a small blush on your face, “Whatever,” he said rolling his head back.
And of course, the ten hour road trip turned into a longer one, because the van broke down and everyone had to stay in a motel for the night, and the only one around was crappy and old, and had three rooms available.
“Seriously John,” you scoffed at him, seeing as he already grabbed a key with Brian. You and him always had sleepover since you guys were little, and he begged you to come. “Sorry, I really have to work on this with Brian,” he said walking off. “Fred,” you called out to him.
“I know you like your beauty sleep, but please I’m begging you, don’t make me share a room with Roger,” you begged, “Sorry sweetheart, maybe you guys can talk it out,” he shrugged walking into his room.
You rolled your eyes turning around, “You have to be joking,” Roger said looking at you, “I wish I was,” you said opening the door to the room, Roger walking in behind you.
Only to see one bed, “Oh for fuck sake,” you groaned, “Fuckin’ hell,” Roger cursed, you sat on the end of the bed, shaking your head. “John owe’s me big time,” you said under your breath, there wasn’t even a pull out couch. Or chair. It was a double bed, a side tables and a small dresser. And next to was a small cramped bathroom.
“Someone definitely shot there brains out in there,” Roger said walking out of it, referring the stained bathtub. “I’ll just take the floor,” you said grabbing a pillow, “No, I will,” he said, was he being a gentlemen for once? “There’s probably more bed bugs in the bed then there are cockroaches on the floor,” He said setting himself up, you rolled your eyes at his meaning.
“It’s not even carpet Rog, don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed, “You were planning on sleeping on the floor,” he stated, “Yeah, but I wasn’t planning on sleeping,” you said in a ‘duh’ sort of tone, “Just, we’re both adults, sharing a bed won’t be the end of it,” you said trying to sound responsible.
“You just wanna share a bed, don’t ya princess?” He said placing a hand on his hip, a small smile appearing on his face.
Yes, “No,” you scoffed, “it’s just, I’m very empathetic, even for assholes for you,” you said checking the last corner of the bed for bed bugs, “Sure,” he said with a smile. “And I said stop calling me that!” You added onto your sentence.
“You not going to bed yet?” Roger asked getting comfortable, noticing you not getting into bed, “I kind of wanna practice a bit,” you said, “Practice?” He asked, “Guitar,” you said, only John knew you played.
“You play?” He asks, you nodded lightly and grabbed out the smaller portable guitar in your bag, not a full guitar, but not a ukulele either. “I’m uh, I’m working on a piece,” you said, “really?” He asks surprised, slightly sitting up.
“Yeah,” you nodded, “Can I hear it?” He asked, you laughed a little and shook your head “God no, you already hate my voice as is,” you said raising an eyebrow with a small smile, placing the guitar in your hands.
“I don’t, it’s just, annoying sometimes,” he admits, “well so is yours,” you said tuning the guitar properly.
“Let me hear it,” he said a bit softer, making your heart swarm with butterflies at his tone, you look up at him, straight into his gorgeous eyes, that were pleading for you to sing it.
“I haven’t finished it yet,” you started, “I don’t mind, consider me a guide, I’ll be brutally honest,” he said with a smile sitting up, you did need a bit of criticism, “it sounds better with more background, but whatever,” you rolled your eyes and faced down at your guitar.
He softly clapped as you strummed a few cords, starting off the song.
“I would rather not go.. back to the old house,”
“I would rather not go, back to the old house,”
“There’s to many, bad memories,”
“To many memories there,”
“When you cycle by,”
“Here began all my dreams,”
“The saddest thing I’ve ever seen,”
“And you never knew, how much I really liked you, Cause I never even told you, and oh I meant to,”
You sang in a soft, sweet voice, that was slightly deep but not too deep, hitting every cord beautifully.
You looked up to Roger, who looked a little shocked, mouth slightly open, eyes glistening and cheeks a soft shade of red.
“Is it that bad?” You asked with anxiety in your voice, “God no, it’s- it’s beautiful actually,” he said lifting a hand up to scratch the back of his head, feeling awkward at complimenting you.
“Who’s it about?” He then asked, and god did you wanna drown at that question, when you first started, it was supposed to be about your childhood trauma, then it slowly turned into the memories of Roger.
The first time you ever met him, he was on a bike riding around with Brian, being a complete idiot.
You went a light shade of red and looked down, “no one, really,” you shook your head, putting the guitar away.
“Y/n,” he said softly, grabbing your hand, “Who’s it about?” He asked once again, looking you dead in the eye, it was impossible to lie to those eyes, impossible.
“You,” you said very quietly, looking him dead in the eyes, and total embarrassment washing over your face, but that quickly went away when you felt his lips on yours.
You felt his lips move with yours, his hand cupping your cheek, you heard the small guitar drop to the floor but you didn’t care.
You felt so unreal, as if you were being lifted from the ground. Or similar to it.
“I really like you too,” he said as he pulled away, looking into your eyes.
“you do?” You asked, shocked.
“I love you actually,” he corrected himself, “you y/n y/l/n, are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met,” he stated truthfully, making you a blushing mess.
“I was a douchebag I guess because I didn’t know how else to actually talk to you, stupid and childish I know, but that’s just.. me,” he said shaking his head a bit.
“I love you to Rog,” you said with a small smile, then connecting your lips back together, Freddie was right, you did talk it out, you did more than talk it out.
