how to have COVID-safer hot gay sex
(or any kind of sex. a guide by me)
TL;DR: you and your partners all wear a respirator mask in public; be careful about raising your heart rate including sexually 6-8 weeks after having covid; take 2-3 rapid tests spaced 2 days apart each or a NAAT test before sex; filter the air in your sex location; make a "bubble" of folks you unmask around; track wastewater covid levels and increase precautions during surges; have phone or video sex!
1. wear a well-fitted respirator mask in public - or the best mask available to you - and only fuck people who also do so
arguably the single most important safety step is to make sure that you and your partners are masking in public, especially indoors, ESPECIALLY in crowds. make sure you are wearing respirators if at all possible - (k)n95s, kf94s, ffp2/3s, or greater - as cloth and surgical masks have significantly less protection against COVID. that said, surgical masks are better than cloth masks, and cloth masks are at least somewhat better than nothing!
make sure the masks fit your face shape and that there are no gaps between the edges of the mask and your face, because otherwise you will be breathing unfiltered air through the gaps! this includes facial hair. unfortunately it's sold out right now, but if you have the money to pool with your community to get one, Fit Tests For All has a home diy fit testing kit for $40 USD that they restock when enough people apply to buy some. if not, holding your hands around the edges of your mask and blowing out to see if you feel the air can help.
and if you're going to a kink play event, PLEASE wear a mask!!! immunocompromised people as well as every covid conscious person deserve to exist in kink and sexual spaces safely. don't isolate us from the community and joy to be had!
reach out to your local mask bloc if you need help finding masks! look up "(your city/county) mask bloc" to find one.
2. avoid raising your heart rate if you have COVID, and go slow + monitor for 6-8 weeks after - this includes masturbation and sex - to lessen chances of long COVID
the risks of contracting long COVID increase significantly with activity that raises your heart rate too high for 6-8 weeks after COVID. most places only talk about exercise, which should also be monitored and returned to slowly, but it applies to sex and masturbation too. possibly even heavy making out, since that will likely raise your heartrate.
waiting fucking sucks, but you could face severe health problems for the rest of your life that could be avoided if you go ahead when you need to rest. listen to your body, stop if you're getting winded easily, and start slowly, ie with 10 mins of masturbation or sex, then 15, then 20.
3. take a NAAT test, or 2-3 spaced out rapid tests, before unmasking around a non household member
rapid tests only catch around 10% of asymptomatic positive cases in one go, and often give false negatives in general. the accuracy increases pretty significantly if you take 3 tests over 5 days (take one test, take the second 48 hours after the first, take the third 48 hours after the second); 2 times is still much better than 1.
you'll have more accurate results if you can get or borrow a NAAT reader, such as the metrix or pluslife. these at-home tests have much higher accuracy (the metrix test catches 97% of positive cases, including asymptomatic), essentially PCR-level accuracy while being much faster, and cheaper. unfortunately they are still quite expensive, but if you can afford one or even can pool resources with community members to share a reader, it's a very high accuracy way to test.
reach out to your local mask bloc if you need help accessing testing resources!
4. make the space you're having sex in safer by using air filtration
maybe you live with people who don't mask, or who work public-facing jobs. even if not, it's always best to keep the room you're having sex in as clean as possible. if you can get a HEPA filter, that's the best possible filtration. if not, a higher-quality air filter, or a diy box fan setup also filter the air. and if that's still too expensive, setting up a fan in front of an open window to blow fresh air into the room will help. put a towel under the crack in the door, if you live with people who engage in high-risk behavior (ie don't mask in public, especially if they're gone to crowded events recently).
5. consider making a "bubble," like lots of people did earlier in the pandemic
create a bubble with your sexual partner(s), friends, anyone who you want to unmask around. remember, the bigger this bubble is, the higher the risk. and if anyone in your bubble doesn't mask in public, or shares unfiltered air with (including lives with and does not mask in the house around) people who don't mask in public, your "bubble" turns into the whole world.
6. pay attention to wastewater levels, and consider avoiding higher-risk activity/taking more precautions during COVID surges
if you live in the U.S., check the covid wastewater scan site and search your zip code, or the people's CDC "weather" reports if your zip code doesn't have data provided, to calculate risk. i unfortunately am not aware of sites for other countries (please add them if you have them!), but make sure to get your data only from wastewater, as it's the only accurate measure due to lax testing.
if you can't afford to test every time you unmask around people out of your bubble, consider doing so when surges arrive. if you want to have sex during a surge and can't access tests, it's obviously not ideal, but you can have sex while wearing masks! just make sure they're breathable enough (i recommend duckbill n95s for this), that they don't fall off your face, and that you take breaks.
7. don't forget about sexting, phone sex, and video sex!
if there's a surge, if you want to have sex with someone who engages in high risk behavior, if you have multiple partners and can't all take precautions, if one of you is quarantining after potential exposure or high risk situation like a concert, hospital visit, plane flight, etc, don't forget about remote sex! obviously it's not the same as physically having sex, but as many of us on here know, sexting and phone/video sex can still be a great time, and is often much better than no sex at all.
8. remember that you don't have to choose between lowering risk and being sexually active! you can take measured risks, and if you can't take all of these steps, any is always better than none. stay safer, keep everyone around you safer, and have fun!
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