No Fit State

I hope you find some of my posts amusing or thought-provoking

[ralstonrhymes]

To a pet, on getting older

One day I noticed your chops had turned grey   a bit like mine when I forget to shave Sharing this space but our time's out of kilt   you’ve lapped up the years like some milk that I spilt

I’ll always be your constant companion   but I dread losing you more than just about anyone and when others remark on how much you've aged   silently inside I feel enraged

The thought of not having you around’s unbearable   your collar and lead by no other dog wearable I'll evermore be walking alone in the rain   your ball in my pocket, around the park again

But watching you now with your quick, even gait I want to yell to the world that heaven must wait

[ralstonrhymes]

Channel Grazing

Self-hatred is a cancer that can eat you so much easier to condemn the world for not meeting your high expectations than to forgive yourself for not living up to the expectations of others

All the opportunities you've blown or for some reason never came your way the people you've let down, relationships you gave up on, or that gave up on you the countless social gaffes that make you cringe even as you think about them now

The many times your welcome was outworn Part of you that's relieved when someone dies because they knew your failings far too well 

No use seeking salvation on TV just endless repeats of Despicable Me

[ralstonrhymes]

A thieving magpie stole my true love's ring  I swore to her that I would get it back Trailed the bird along a wooded track And found its nest, abrim with shiny things. I struck at it and it took to the wing — Its hooded wings were gleaming, slick and black — I put the booty safely in my sack: Bracelets, trinkets, but I could see no ring.

I ran back to where my true love was waiting And gave her all the treasures I had found But she just turned away in grim disdain Angry that her ring was not there. I, hating Myself, wished only that the hungry ground Would swallow me, then swallow me again.

[ralstonrhymes]

Stealing by Finding

Translucence is the perfect compromise      of light: the bouncer at the nightclub door who lets some through and turns the rest away      all beneath a leering, candlewax moon

Inside, a mirror ball splinters the light      shards of colour through a fog of dry ice glance off the sequins and glitter of dancers      ecstatic visions that wear off too soon

Next morning, the cleaner spots something gleaming      through dust and detritus left on the dance floor holds it up to the light then pockets it quickly      and scurries home, humming a different tune

[ralstonrhymes]

The Day After

There was no rain the day after you left no clouds, nor sun to decorate the sky no wind to comb the branches of the trees that bore no fruit, nor blossom, scent or leaves

And as I lay in bed awake that night I heard a gentle tap against my window I drew the curtain back and there I saw nothing but a single blood-red rose

And I remembered how you used to say to cut them back in winter and there'd be a heavenly display when summer came and that there was no cause to feel afraid

A garden can withstand all kinds of weather      but what of a family, torn asunder?

[ralstonrhymes]

No cure for Tithonus

Divine Eos, gatekeeper of the dawn, her heart to youthful Tithonus had sworn, but fearing her lover must one day die, begged Zeus to grant him immortality,

and this he did, but through haste, or for fun, forgot to make him eternally young, so Tithonus grew old but wouldn't die, becoming more feeble each passing day,

until Eos, grown tired of his lack of ardor, suddenly turned him into a cicada. And now, although summer and youth are gone, evermore shall I hear the grasshopper's song:

    Tithonus, chirruping loud in my ear,     reminding me who's the mortal one here.

[ralstonrhymes]

Day of the Lions

A strange thing happened in London today Big Ben chimed a full thirteen times resulting in chaos at Trafalgar Square with the coming-to-life of the lions

One of them climbed Nelson’s Column another ran off down The Strand one went shopping in Carnaby Street and then joined a rock and roll band

But the fourth lion had other ideas about what it wanted to do catching a bus up to Regents Park and the allure of London Zoo

It couldn’t wait to get through the gates to meet the real lions inside it started to purr and then grew some fur now that’s what I call London Pride

[ralstonrhymes]

The Painter

Steps back to inspect the just-finished job looks good, no visible brushstrokes or hairs funny how they wanted a purple front door but thinks he can see the point of it now

Makes sure the lids are on tightly before putting the tins in the boot of his car the small wooden stepladder goes on the roof no one’s around so he scratches his arse

Drives home whistling a tune from Carmen first thing to do is feed the two dogs then outside again to knock out his brushes a cascade of colour on the side of the house

Thinks of his son away at the art school a scholarship boy, when he tells people his father’s a painter, they always ask him “Where does he exhibit? Would I know his work?”

[ralstonrhymes]

Used To

used to be prolific but now I'm just verbose used to go to parties and get kicked out by the host

used to lie in bed all day and think or read a book used to never get much done because of the time it took

used to meet a friendly dragon on my way to school used to be king-of-the-table in a pub where I played pool

used to be a dancer on a sweaty crowded floor used to be uncertain but now I'm not so sure

used to have a mum and dad who treated me quite well used to have some prospects but no one could ever tell

used to have a brother who wished that I was dead, he used to smoke too many cigs and that killed him instead

used to be a deckhand on every sinking ship used to snatch the wine away before it touched your lip

used to write some poetry but now I'm mostly prose used to be prolific but now I'm just verbose

[ralstonrhymes]

I'm trying to give up metaphors but I don't want to go cold turkey

[ralstonrhymes]

Laika

You grow up tough on the streets of Moscow the cold and hunger take their daily toll the history books say that’s why they chose me that and because I was female and small

I was just one of the three that were chosen for training, part of their glorious mission in ever smaller cages, days on end they gave us strange food we tried to hold in

The night before the launch was best of all I still had no thought of what lay ahead a warm house, children, and laughter within when in not many hours, I would be dead

Next day, they strapped me into the capsule one of them gave me a kiss on the nose the noise terrified me, the pressure too my heart nearly burst, the temperature rose

How I died remains a cause for debate lack of air, overheating — no one knows they put up a statue, honoured my name they knew I was never meant to come home

[ralstonrhymes]

Instead of being mad at the world for not recognising your genius, just be thankful that you haven’t died yet as a result of your stupidity

[ralstonrhymes]

[ralstonrhymes]

The Man stood before the world and said on live TV: “We understand you’re not so keen on our plan to start World War Three

And so, to show that we listen, and to avoid an unpopular war we aim to save face and cut to the chase by starting World War Four”

[ralstonrhymes]

April is the coolest moth — she   flits about in trendy bars and slips into designer clothes   to fraternise with rising stars A flighty feature of the night   to her life’s but a fleeting game that’s why I nearly die of fright   when she’s around her latest flame

[ralstonrhymes]

Once, I played a gig in a barn with hay bales and pitchforks what could go wrong?

It was the middle of winter snow deep on the ground in the middle of nowhere not easily found

Inside, it was lit with kerosene lamps when the band got warmed up we were as tight as our pants

There was Dave on guitar and Dave on bass and Dave the drummer (yes, we were known as The Daves)

and me, of course on guitar and vocals hoping to win the respect of the locals

We were a little bit rock and a little bit country at one point we even got asked to play One Tree

Hill, although Dave (the drummer) doesn’t like U2 it never hurts to give them something to boo

but they seemed to enjoy the rest of our covers they weren’t hurling bottles like in The Blues Brothers

Nonetheless, it all ended up in a shit fight because Dave (on bass) refused to play After Midnight

[ralstonrhymes]

I’ve got a pet spider called Ceremony

That I wouldn’t part with for any money

But people just laugh

And think that I’m daft

When I say to them, Please don’t stand on Ceremony!