star light star bright

s e r a . I’d cut my soul into a million different pieces just to form a constellation to light your way home. I’d write love poems to the parts of yourself you can’t stand. I’d stand in the shadows of your heart and tell you I’m not afraid of your dark.

[ramblesandjunk]

fell asleep on aleks. weird.

[ramblesandjunk]

My chest may just explode from anxiety tonight but it's fine.

[ramblesandjunk]

I am way too undeserving of craig lovin me and handling my shit. it's not like I come without problems and moods all over. like its lit I'm not dead and made it out of being 15 but also? I am sad deep down tonight.

[ramblesandjunk]

I think the you were my first choice and marriage comments just got me tonight. I could cry and I don't know why cause no way you care about me like that nor am I throwing away everything for you for crumbs. Like. Are you dumb? Theres no sweet fairy tale ending this time.

[ramblesandjunk]

Does his little existence remind you of something? Of baby me. Randomly dumped on my dad and you.

[ramblesandjunk]

Dead mothers club pin. Healthy mourning. Also... hit me really fucking hard in the worst way. All I can do is cringe thinking about Eli being bounced around like I was since I was a kid. Step mom and I kinda? accept each other now. Call her mom not to think about it. I don't blame her. Your husband having an affair and a kid out of it must have sucked. I know you still wince at my kid.

[ramblesandjunk]

God. The sad brain switch got pressed and I can't cope or break it down and make it go away. Why waste my time with you. Or energy feeling this way.

[ramblesandjunk]

Read me like a book, nonstop.

[wnq-writers]

“I started wishing on the stars in the sky instead. I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang. The sun said, ‘It hurts to become.‘”

— Andrea Gibson, “I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power’s Out

[eljayetc]

- Andrea Gibson

[ramblesandjunk]

home. home to bean again and warm bed and the weird that touring life was so normal before.

[ramblesandjunk]

gonna end up being that girl with running makeup by the end of tonight over my not ex once again. this shouldn't even get me. the bean needed a middle name. you, you were such a damn part of my heart. it fit.

[historians]

dissociation! in three exciting flavors:

- Endless Apathy - i have replaced my flat screen TV with an even bigger, flatter screen. it’s a wall! it only has one channel. fascinating. nothing is fucking real. - my mind is telling me Death but my body is telling me 3 AM Mania-Induced Craft Project

[ramblesandjunk]

ironically i know it's the trauma cocktail and abuse tossed in for flavour but it's still not easy to handle as i practice dbt skills and radical acceptance.

[smores-crepes]

I know I’m Too Much™ but please love me anyway

[bpdminds]

Someone: why are you always so clingy?? 

Me: 

[ramblesandjunk]

can't really tell anyone because that's just my fears of abandonment acting up! been literally glued to craigs side or arms reach for a day. cause i'm safe and loved with minimal bad surprises happening there. truly am a child by now.