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@kungfuinternational

[ramengeddon]

the government doesn’t want anybody to know this but you can rob a bank or steal a loaf of bread and get away with it if you’ve got a get out of jail free card 

[ramengeddon]

with the right type of permanent marker anybody can have abs if you just draw a few lines across your stomach 

[ramengeddon]

slipped on a rug that i could have sworn wasn’t there before it was a complete sneak attack watch out world wrestling federation there’s a new champion on the loose and it’s this skilful rug 

[ramengeddon]

or worse the shoes with the wheels that must have been when they really lost it

[ramengeddon]

can you imagine how miffed those boots in the song these boots are made for walkin’ must have been when boots that were made for running were invented

[ramengeddon]

wasn’t just doritos that those isopods were tucking into i reckon they were hitting the gyms doing a couple of sessions every week on the bench 

[ramengeddon]

often think about that photo of the massive isopods surrounding a bag of doritos with the caption we need more minerals 

[1010ll]

[1010ll]

[sthmvnk]

[ramengeddon]

really looking forward to investing in a metal heart just to have the opportunity to say ‘it’s with a heavy heart’ at the beginning of every announcement 

[ramengeddon]

know what could really be bad? if you’re giving birth to twins and one comes out performing a U2 number 

[ramengeddon]

wouldn’t make much a difference really would it europe’s all the same 

[ramengeddon]

what if you’re giving birth to twins on the swedish border but you slip on a bit of snow and give birth to the other twin on the norwegian border 

[ramengeddon]

hotlinebeesting replied to your post: on another note there’s water in my left ear if...

thanks for the offer mate he’ll appreciate it

don’t be greedy you haven’t even got a fish 

[ramengeddon]

on another note there’s water in my left ear if anybody needs a vacant space for a pet fish my ear’s available and the rent is free 

[ramengeddon]

i wasn’t upset only took me about 3 days to trust her again her name was cassandra i didn’t name her if i did i would have called her hatter get it because it’s like hater but she hated the hat it’s a terrible name