I fear that this is me
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@randombraindump
I fear that this is me
Winter is for listening to the same music you were listening to at 15. Unfortunately
having so much love in your heart is beautiful and amazing right up until you’re alone in your bedroom clutching at your chest and whimpering like a wounded dog
i’ve been single since april 2021. sometimes i miss having a significant other (the physical intimacy, having someone who loves you and cares for you in a way that’s different from your friends) but the thought of potentially going through another breakup terrifies me. maybe that’s why i refuse to put more effort into trying to meet someone as well.
i’d like to think that if i did go through another breakup that i’d be in a better place mentally to heal. i have hobbies that i can distract myself with, friends that i trust and can spend time with, a job that i actually enjoy, coworkers that i can talk to. but the painful truth is that no matter what, a breakup is going to suck the life out of you and hurt like a bitch.
i am terrified of letting someone into my life and have them learn everything about me, my past, my family/friends, because there’s a chance that one day they just won’t be in it anymore. this is the reason i didn’t go “no contact” with either of my exes. i just couldn’t fathom suddenly cutting everything off when they had been in my life for a year and a half straight. but i was basically torturing myself because i was constantly dissecting every snapchat i got and every story they posted to hear whose voice was in the background, whose arm was slightly showing in the pic. i kept overthinking about everything, the way i would if i was in a situationship. and this was before the term “situationship” was even a thing (i think).
i’ve been on and off the apps since freshman year of college. i quit them all earlier this year but redownloaded them whenever i was traveling solo. it’s a little humbling to see people that i’ve seen when i was 18 who are still on the apps. i’m not any better if i’m still on them as well.
i joined a kickball league but it got rained out 4 weeks in a row that i lost interest in going. i thought i was being smart by choosing a saturday league but in reality, saturdays are my lazy days. i should’ve chosen one during the week. i might do that actually. anyway, i joined it in hopes to meet new friends so maybe when i decide to join another, i will actually go.
anyway, i’ve been talking to two people that sent me likes when i was in chicago for arc. they seem nice but i already know it won’t go anywhere because we’re not in the same state. well maybe one might become a friend because he goes to many festivals around the states. regardless i’m enjoying the conversations.
i wonder if i’ll be able to meet someone “organically”.
life's tough a moodboard
what is the meaning behind your url?
my life story, I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
what’s the point of ~sexy~ pajamas? bitch go to sleep
I’ve had this same dilemma too many times
casually going about your day when you realize you had homework
how do people sneak out of their house??? I could be going to pee in the middle of the night and my mom will be like what tf you doing
My parents just switched me from wet to dry food and it’s fucking ruining my life
the signs from most to least funny
Yield Stop Railroad Xing Wet Floor No Parking Do Not Enter Exit Open Toll Booths Ahead Register Closed Trucks Use Low Gear School Zone
this lemur didn’t seem pleased that i was taking photos of him
so done
with you and your rude shit