Hilda, lovingly talking about Marianne at 2am: She could kill me and I’d thank her.
Dorothea, having heard this a million times: Yeah, and I’d thank her too.

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@randomfethoughts
Hilda, lovingly talking about Marianne at 2am: She could kill me and I’d thank her.
Dorothea, having heard this a million times: Yeah, and I’d thank her too.
Dimitri: We all know you’re in love with him.
Felix: I’m not in love with Sylvain, shut up.
Ingrid: He never said who-
Dimitri:
Felix:
Ingrid:
Felix: Okay, hold on, LISTEN-
Dorothea, on pain medication: I love sleepovers.
Petra: Not a sleepover. Hospital.
Dorothea: ...
Dorothea: Then why am I in my nightgown?
Petra: Hospital gown.
Dorothea: Hmm... Truth or dare?
Petra: ...
Petra: Dare.
Byleth: What are the symptoms of teenage depression?
Hanneman: Why are you asking me?
Byleth: Dimitri was doing laundry earlier and he dropped a sock, and I heard him say: “Why has the goddess forsaken me?”
Gilbert, seeing a pile of trash: Big...
Gilbert, looking at Annette: ...mood?
Annette, beaming:
Bernadetta: You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal?
Bernadetta: That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.
Sylvain: Hi, Felix.
Felix, internally: There he is - he’s here - my favourite person in the world, the love of my life. Goddess, I just want to stare at him, and hold him for the rest of my life.
Felix, out loud: What the FUCK do you want?
Byleth: Isn’t the idea supposed to be: “I saved your life, now you owe me a debt?”
Marianne: Nope, other way round. You saved my life, so now I’m your problem. If you don’t like it then kill me.
Byleth: ...
Marianne: The goddess wanted me dead. Now you get to find out why.
Felix: Oh, oops...
Ingrid: Pretty sure accidentally stabbing someone calls for more than an “oops”.
Byleth: So, have you been seeing someone?
Dimitri: Do you mean a therapist or a girl?
Byleth: Oh, no. Claude is a tactical genius.
Byleth: He just likes to cause problems on purpose.
Byleth: Right, who do we know who has handcuffs?
Claude: Well Lorenz and I-
*Lorenz glares at Claude*
Claude: Wouldn’t know.
Dimitri: I’m going to kill you.
Edelgard: Let me ask Byleth.
Dimitri: That’s not how this w-
Edelgard: They said no.
Bernadetta: Dorothea! I just did something really, really, bad!
Dorothea: Put the corpse on ice, I’m on my way.
Lorenz: All you girls out there had that stage where you played online dress up games, don’t even lie.
Hilda: What do you mean had?
Claude: What do you mean girls?
Caspar: I guess I’m just too tough to cry.
Linhardt: Just today you were crying about snakes.
Caspar, beginning to cry: They don’t have any arms!
Marianne: I’m the early 1930’s.
Hilda: ...please explain.
Marianne: The Great Depression, 1929-1933.