Okay, I love it so far, but Derek just standing there in the woods all black leather and pale face looks so goofy to me in the wake of the hysterical tragedy that was Twilight ...
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@randomkingwillbeadad
Okay, I love it so far, but Derek just standing there in the woods all black leather and pale face looks so goofy to me in the wake of the hysterical tragedy that was Twilight ...
So after about 5 years of being an avid reader of Teen Wolf fanfiction (my most read, bookmarked, etc fandom without ever having seen the source material), my best friend has started to watch the series and convinced me to give it a try.
I expect to be disappointed at worst, a bit bored at best - I already know what'll happen! Nothing could live up to the best of those fics, there are such amazing fanfiction authors.
Series 1, episode 1: I have loved Stiles for a long time and just those few first minutes, he doesn't disappoint.
A few detail shots from a recent background for Scarlet Hollow Episode 3! Welcome 2 my twysted mindā¦
You can view the whole background (plus many others) over on my Patreon ;0
Aragorn: Due to personal reasons Iāll be going feral.Ā
Finding love as a transgender person
Marianne Oakes has shared an amazing collection of transgender love stories over at GenderGP.Ā
Here are a few of them.Ā
Marianne wrote:
The myth that trans people struggle to find love is damaging to our future generations, if trans youth or worse still, their parents believe this, then the impact can be loss of hope. My experience is pretty much like all the lovely comments here, letās stop the myth, xx
More here!
These stories help so much. Not just because of the trans people find love just like everyone else, which is an important message on its own, but because there are some stories of other people who didnāt know since they were kids and this is so fucking reassuring!!!
Iām????
Oh my God this actually explains so much.
So thereās a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you canāt get emotional support unless youāre drunk, you have a problem.
So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, womenās friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you canāt lean on her when youāre weak, sheās not your friend. To women, what friendship isĀ is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.
So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. Thatās what a romantic partner does. But women think thatās what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners andĀ their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.
This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support ā they donāt die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they donāt suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women donāt put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isnāt manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.Ā
So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they canāt reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real.Ā Itās emotional, itās important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldnāt have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible.Ā And the fact that men canāt share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who canāt get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like itās a commodity⦠because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people willĀ die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they canāt share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.
The only way to fix this is to teach boys itās okay to love your friends. Itās okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. Itās okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved⦠so men, this oneās on you. Women canāt fix this for you; you donāt listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.
The next time a guyĀ says, āWhat? You don'tĀ want to be my friend?ā Iāll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potentialĀ girlfriend.
yāall I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves
Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and itās called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack
This is absolutely un-not-reblogable.
2 - Zurich
They've travelled through Switzerland together. It's in a compound close to Zurich where they're staying for the winter - the hightened risk of travelling even through smaller mountains than lay behind them not worth the few weeks saved, and anyway, everybody will make more progress during spring if they're fully rested - when they decide on breaking up. His companions are headed west, Lars is headed north.
It's toward the end of February, close to spring, when M and a half-dead man named Robert burst through the gate. Everyone close is instantly alert, but a careful check reveals no dangerous infection, but probably pneumonia. He'll probably be dead soon, but he and M are granted access into the quarantine hut.
When spring has arrived, Robert is dead, and M is itching to get moving. Where is she going to, asks Lars. Wherever, she says with a shrug.
She agrees to travel with him for at least a few weeks. She doesn't much care who she travels with, and nobody wants to move through wilderness or unsafe cities alone.
She doesn't much care for names either, maybe doesn't like getting attached (Lars thinks this predates Robert's death, but he doesn't ask), so she calls him Family Guy, the way his old group did.
It's the reason he's still travelling, has been for almost four years now. Everybody's looking for something.
"My family", he'll say every time he's asked, "and the man I love."
They set out one very early morning in late March, when the snow has fully melted and the sun is rising over the woods.
1 - Baracks
2024
The surrounding wall is solid and seems to be glinting in the light of the afternoon sun. Beyond the gate, there are two wooden watchtowers. Between those and the large building that probably used to be a mall of some kind, some twenty-five people stand in a semi-circle, their faces indiscernible with the sun behind their backs.
F hesitates, but when M takes a step forward, he follows her like he has for the past eighteen months. Together, they step only just through the gate and stop, hands raised, faces turned slightly up so that the compound's inhabitants can see there are no visible marks of infection.
M says, "we're looking for some people, family of his", she indicates F with a quick tilt of her head, "can we trade some labor for a safe place to sleep for a few days?"
For a minute, nobody moves.
Then, one of the faceless people gets jostled as another one moves forward. "Lars?"
Good news that we deserve š
for people who canāt watch the video: THE AMYGDALA CHANGES TRADITIONALLY FOUND IN MOTHERS SHOW UP IN ALL PRIMARY CAREGIVERS REGARDLESS OF SEX
Changes in this part of the brain were previously used to previously used to argue that women are the ideal primary caretakers of children in all cases. And apparently, itās false. The reason they found these changes in women was that women were already the primary caretaker in almost all cases, not because thereās something inherent to women that makes them better parents.
this is big news for SAHF and single dads!
Regardless of sex AND regardless of relation to the baby - that is, adoptive primary caregivers showed the same changes, too. Which means not only are men just as capable of being excellent caregivers for their babies as women are, but that biological parents who chooseĀ not to take care of a baby wonāt develop those changes but adoptive parents who doĀ choose to do so will.Ā
Providing love and care for a child is what makes you a good parent: not what you have in your jeans or your genes.
FYI
Hereās the study to back this up.
Linus part 2
So Linus looks around at the club. He looks at the guys there and tries to notice how he feels about them. And it's there, he can't believe how he's never noticed it before, but there are for sure some guys who he'd be up for it with.
And he's never been shy, so he approaches someone who seems to get his motor running, and he takes him home.
The point when he loses all bravado comes when he's standing in front of his room back at the house he shares with Joey, El and Simon. The house is quiet, the stairs they just climbed barely made a sound, and Linus' mind is quite suddenly blank. What does he do next? Open the door, surely, but he can't seem to move. Because what does he do after that? What does he even want to do with another man?
He knows the kind of impression he makes: he's tall, blond, conventionally good-looking and self-assured without coming across as arrogant. He doesn't want to brag - he has his flaws just like everybody else, and some deep-seated insecurities also just like everybody else, but those don't usually come into play when he takes somebody home. At least, they never have before. So Mike (that's the guy's name) will expect Linus to know what he's doing. To continue to be suave and charming, and to show him a good time.
But he's rooted to the spot.
He can't do this.
So what he does next is he says as much. He's sorry but he just changed his mind, please don't take it personally, and it's late so does Mike want some actual coffee and to crash on the couch? Mike doesn't, but he also doesn't seem too offended, thankfully, and he leaves to go home or maybe back to the club to try his luck again. Linus feels relieved.
He doesn't question is sexuality - it's pretty obvious to him that he was severely attracted to Mike, and he'd jerk off now if he didn't feel so wrong-footed, like the floor is tilted slightly underneath him.
He's unsure. He's inexperienced. He doesn't know what exactly he likes with another man, in what ways it's different from being with a woman, what giving a blowjob or a handjob or having anal sex (either way) feels like - he knows the mechanics, obviously, but he doesn't want to freak a casual partner out by stopping midway to analyze his feelings on the matter or to stop and switch to another activity which he might then cancel, too-
And he's freaking out, maybe, a little.
Linus part 1
Linus figures out why he can't seem to settle with a girl: He's aro. That's short for aromantic. There's even a flag. So he goes to queer events with Joey. Because he knows now there's nothing wrong with him, and also he can show his support for his gay best friend even better.
And after a while, he figures - he's not cut out for romance, doesn't want to shack up with anybody longterm, has no interest in waking up next to any one person and going down to have breakfast with them - but he's still totally interested in sex. So. What about guys? Maybe Linus is bi?
So he goes down into the kitchen one day, where Joey is already brewing coffee and El is sitting slumped over on the bench with her head in her wildly tousled locks, looking like the physical manifestation of a hungover groan. And Linus asks: "Can I come with you tonight?"
Joey raises his eyebrows, "to the gay club?"
(El doesn't react. Did she fall asleep like that?)
"Yeah," Linus says, "I'll try it out."
And Joey's eyebrows are still very close to his dirty blond hairline, but he doesn't say anything else.
look i call myself queer for a couple of reasons, not all immediately obvious to the "queer is a slur" crowd.
like there's the immediate implication of this does not require me to explain my labels to you, but also the secondary implication of my existence as a radical statement. when queer people started calling themselves queer, it was an act of public defiance and rebellion.
queer says I don't need to justify myself to you or anyone, queer says I exist and I won't shut up about it, queer says we are a community and you cannot draw arbitrary dividing lines between us. queer is a good word for queer people.
when I find people who call themselves queer, I know they are the ones who won't try to say anyone doesn't belong in our community, that they will defend gay rights with trans rights, that they will stand up against the oppression that we all face, even if it doesn't affect them directly.
so yeah, i love being queer, calling myself queer, talking about the queer community, queer studies and queer theory and queer history. and I'm not going to stop because some of you think it's a slur.
āwouldnāt you rather earn something than have it just handed to you?ā
Yeah when it comes to actual awards and fancy goods, but when it comes to basic needs, basic human decency, and accomodations, those things should always be handed to people. No one should have to āearnā those things.Value people as people, not base it on how much they produce.Ā
yeah but that creates a severe dependency that could be exploited easily, and creates a slippery slope @musical-clarity
Actually studies show that people who live in places with universal income (who are given money with no strings attached just for being citizens) do far better work than those who donāt and are more enthusiastic to do work.
This is because they still want nice things and will work for those but the part of their energy that was devoted to worrying about if they have enough money to pay the rent and bills this month is now freed up to do other things.
Some people will always be lazy and take advantage of the system, but they are always a tiny percentage and it seems ridiculous to me to punish the majority and severly hamstring their abilities just because a handful of people will simply live of basic income rather than work.
Do you have sources? Iām trying to convince a friend
Providing Personalised Support to Rough Sleepers. An Evaluation of the City of London Pilot by Juliette Hough and Becky Rice (2010)Ā - This is a study on what happens when you just give homeless people money instead of setting up expensive bureaucratic programs. Spoilers: the vast majority of people get off the streets.
Policy Brief: Impacts of Unconditional Cash Transfers by Johannes Haushofery and Jeremy Shapiroz - A look at the new trend of charities just giving people in need money and letting them get on with it. (Case study is a charity called GiveDirectly)
Cash Transfers and Temptation Goods. A review of Global Evidence by the World Bank Policy Research Working Group - This study shows that poor people who are just given money do not spend any more than they usually would on luxury goods such as alcohol and tobacco and in some cases the spending on these items actually decreases.
āCash Transfers for Children. Investing into the Futureā An Editorial article in The Lancet - This is the study that out and out says giving people money makes them less lazy and less dependant on the state. Direct quote:
āEmerging data from cash transfers, conditional or unconditional, largely dispel the counter arguments that these programs prevent adults from seeking work or create a dependency culture which perpetuates intergenerational poverty.ā
The Town With No Poverty by Evelyn Forget - A look at the case study of Dauphin Manitoba that introducedĀ āmincomeā to the poorest citizens to bring everyone above the poverty line.
Why Not Guarantee Everyone a Job? Why Negative Income Tax Experiments of the 1970s Were Successful by Allan Sheahen (warning this link is a download link, not a webpage) - Study of a similarĀ āmincomeā experiment in Denver that found that when people did stop working as many hours as they had done before the money it was because they were furthering their education or working hours better suited to raising their children. One woman who had dropped out of High School to get a job in order to provide for her children went back into education and ended up with a psychology degree and a job as a researcher.
āDaniel Moynihan and President-Elect Nixon: How Charity Didnāt Begin at Homeā by Peter Passell and Leonard Ross for The New York Times - This is a look at how President Richard Nixon (Yes, thatĀ Richard Nixon) wanted to introduce basic income to the USA and was defeated by ignorant congressmen and senators that trusted their gut over the clear evidence.Ā
The Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend: An Experiment in Wealth Distribution by Scott Goldsmith - This is a look at Alaskaās policy of using the State oil revenue to give every single citizen $1000 a year.
Relationships Between poverty and Psychopathology - A study that outlines how growing up poor exposes children to a myriad of psychological problems and mental illnesses.
Assessing the Economic and Non-Economic Impacts of Harrahās Cherokee Casino, North Carolina - The Harrah Cherokee Casino is widely studied and a resounding success as a case study for Basic Income.
An Estimate of the cost of child poverty in 2013 by Donald Hirsch - This is a British study that estimates child poverty costs £29 billion (£44 Billion-ish). Basically child poverty is massively expensive for governments and Basic Income could essentially pay for itself by removing these expenses.
When Pundits Blamed White People for a Culture of Poverty by Matt Bruenig - Article that discusses how the idea that poor people are lazy and deserve to suffer is racist, classist and morally dangerous.
Rediscovering Poverty: How We CuredĀ āThe Culture of Povertyā Not Poverty Itself by Barbara Ehrenreich - An article on how trying to improve the morals of the poor so they can work harder and get themselves out of poverty is a ridiculous waste of time and money and quite frankly an insult to the people we force into these programs. My favourite waste of money that Ehrenreich points out is the $250 million dollars that President Clinton set aside forĀ āChastity Trainingā for impoverished single mothers, the US government in the 90s simply assuming that poor women were too stupid to understand where babies came from and thatās why they were poor, rather than, you know, having no money, no support structures and no affordable child care and healthcare.
In the Shadow of Speenhamland: Social Policy and the Old Poor Law by Fred Block and Margaret Somers - Speenhamland was a town in the UK where a Universal Income was introduced at the end of the 18th Century. After a few years it was declared a terrible failure and proof that poor people are evil and lazy and should be punished for being poor not helped out of poverty. Speenhamland led to the creation of Workhouses and the abolition of the Poor Laws that had worked as a form of social welfare up to that point. For 150 years Speenhamland was used by politicians and academics all over the world as proof that poor people were almost pathologically incapable of being trusted with their own money. Except the whole thing was a lie. The man sent to study Speenhamland hated the project and was unable to correctly interpret the data or factor in cultural issues that were also affecting the town. Modern researchers almost unanimously agree that Speenhamland was a success but the damage that 150 years of ignorance has done is deep and long lasting.
All of these examples and hundreds more can be found in Utopia for Realists by Rutger Bregman which lays out the argument for this issue far better than I ever could and also discusses issues such as raising the minimum wage and drastically cutting working hours.Ā
@keep-counting-stars have fun debating your friend.Ā