Alara doesn't actually hate Tumblr anymore

@alarajrogers

this place grows on you. like ringworm.

12.9K posts

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

The adventures of One Punch Pig?

I'd watch it.

robbie-is-a-bug

“Are you saying that Jesus isn’t fully man” he’s literally not. He’s half deity. Why did you word it like that?

creature-wizard

“Jesus was fully human and fully divine” is conventionally accepted doctrine. It’s called the hypostatic union. It’s in the Athanasian creed.

Sounds like wormnoodless is recapitulating Eutychianism (Christ exists in one nature and of two), which was rejected by the Fourth Ecumenical Council in 451, instead adopting Dyophysitism (Jesus Christ is one person of one substance and one hypostasis, with two distinct, inseparable natures: divine and human), which is still the main belief of most major denominations.

Sorry, wormnoodless, you’re a heretic.

@apocrypals, do I have it (mostly) right?

Correct

Anything other than “fully God, fully man” is heretical

#sometimes the nature of tumblr is that someone accidentally reinvents the great schism (1054) all over again

It's so funny that I'm not Catholic anymore and I don't believe in the Christian God (in fact I actively believe the Christian God is impossible; I call myself an agnostic who actively disbelieves in the Christian God), but when people spout heresies involving Jesus Christ, I get all like I do with my blorbos and I'm like "That's not canon!" (which is literally true in this case).

Though half-God, half-Man doesn't bother me nearly as much as "Jesus is just a little video game avatar God is piloting around." The Son did not create the world, that was the Father. They are Three-In-One but also distinct entities, and behaving as if the Father, who is kind of an asshole, is identical to the Son, who... okay, can be an asshole sometimes (ask the fig tree) but is overall about forgiveness and don't sweat the letter of the law if you can keep to its spirit, are the same being... I mean, Anne Rice pointed out that Jesus' sacrifice is totally meaningless if he's literally the same being as God. That makes his life on Earth like a video game he was playing, not an actual life.

Also, utterly despise the Prosperity Gospel. This is like making Magneto a mutant-hater. It is literally the opposite of the entire point of Jesus' life and mission.

Yeah. I'm not a believer, but I will go on at length about why Magneto or Q were out of character in such and such a fanfic, and I will do the same thing for statements about Jesus. He's not really my blorbo anymore because I hate the fandom, but man, I wish I could find some good fanfics about him that don't fuck up the character.

newark, new jersey (1950s-1970s) by al henderson

OMG that baby. That baby is so cute. Goddamn.

Convinced white Brits have a humiliation fetish tbh

"British bread is actual bread not cake" is so fucking funny because I have heard Ukrainians and Lithuanians say the exact same thing word for word about the bread in Eastern Europe contrasted with British and French bread.

sweaterkittensahoy

What is this "gummy cheddar" he speaks of? I have eaten so many cheddars and none of them could be described as "gummy."

Does he think we only eat cheese curds???? Because that is a very regional food.

This implies that British cake is unbelievably shitty -- not even brioche genuinely tastes as sweet as cake. If this British person thinks that other regions' bread tastes like cake, how bad must British cake be?

cossachka-offical

why does everything cost money

derinthescarletpescatarian

I hear you can pour river water into your socks for free

Not really unless you live on the river; you're going to have to pay for transportation otherwise.

Leftoids on here who got so mad at me for saying it's fine to strategically make fun of Trump's weight because it undermines his image as a strongman only to go "I can excuse a Nazi tattoo, but I draw the line at fatphobia."

They also got mad at me for saying it's fine to call your Republican Rep/Senator and lie about being a Republican voter using MAGA-speak to knock them off-kilter, only to then say it's okay that their Nazi Titty Tattoo Guy is a pathological liar and should be trusted with a US Senate seat.

If Trump can get away with mocking a disabled reporter and calling a woman a bitch on live TV, I can get away with calling him a fat sack of shit.

I don't like it. If he was a skinny sack of shit he would still be a sack of shit. Can't we go back to mocking him for being orange? That's absolutely voluntary and mockable. I'm not at all worried about offending people who are orange, because it was their choice to be orange, nobody looks like that naturally. (Jaundiced people don't look like that. Trump's orangeness screams fake.)

Trump can get away with mocking people on TV because he is a terrible person. And I'm not sure how much mocking his fatness hurts his strongman persona; fat people actually can be very strong. (He is probably not because he's a pampered rich asshole who is also elderly, but most actual literal strong men, not "strongman" dictators but men who are strong, are fat.)

i hate any fantasy world where healing is cut and dry (heh) with no complexity because honestly it flattens the world so much. so much of human history and culture is built off of the inevitability of physical pain and suffering and death, striving to cure it or coping with it (mentally and physically). a fantasy world without these complexities is boring as FUCK and has had a huge chunk of the human experience ripped out of it.

anyways. my headcanon is that those healing spells you do in the middle of battle, like fast healing, are temporary. someone just split your hand in two with their axe? cast a strong healing spell on it, it'll come back together like nothing happened and you can continue gripping your sword long enough to finish off your opponent. but this cannot last, and in a few minutes the spell wears off and your hands gonna remember what happened and the only thing that'll be putting it back together is like. actual healing. the kind that takes time and will hurt, healing spells that'll speed up the healing process but are still going to require sutures and bandages. the kind healers at temples are best at, the kind adventurers resting at their camps are at the LEAST expected to know the basics of

Or the fast healing holds, but the nerves slowly remember that they were severed, and they start to scream in phantom pain, and they will not stop unless you get true healing from the temple. And the muscles remember they were severed, and they twitch uncontrollably, and they have a hard time moving. And the bones remember they were severed, and they ache. The hand trembles, and doesn't have the strength it should have, until the healing is completed... if it ever is, because only successful adventurers have the money to commission a temple of healing for such work.

Your hand won't fall apart ten minutes after the battle is over, but if your adventure didn't result in a boatload of gold or artifacts, you may spend the rest of your life feeling as if it had. Which is still better than if it actually had. But adventurers are famous for being heavy drinkers, and it's not just because they lead dangerous lives or because they get a lot of their jobs in taverns. Some of them are in constant pain, until they get the big score that lets them buy permanent healing... if they ever do.

stealingpotatoes

rereading your own fics/wips is a very slippery slope into finding out you actually have to finish your fics if you want them finished

This is very me-coded

Okay, if you are tired then you won't be able to read. There I say it. No one else want to say it. It is strange. If you are tired, if you cannot finish a book that's a given. That's why you need to read...at work. You need to steal your reading time from your employers.

This is how I learnt to draw as a kid (by drawing during class)

OK but it is amazing how much I can read when I'm tired if the book is good

fuckass-bird-blog

OK, yeah, I do in fact love Little bird

homunculus-argument

Has any anime yet done a gag where - in a moment just before shit starts going down - a character starts doing the classic internal monologue narration, going like oh shit he is simply too powerful, I cannot defeat him with my Usual Super Tactic, etc etc while the camera view pans over the characters on both sides standing on guard, prepared to strike, going through several minutes of narration in what should only be a matter of seconds

But then once it's done, an opponent just goes "uh, you literally just said all of that out loud." And it wasn't obvious to the audience at any point, because the camera angles were also employing every single one of the classic anime budget "we don't want to animate the character's lips moving" camera angle tricks to avoid showing the character's face when they talk.

I've never seen it, but now I'm stealing it for my anime parody series of short stories. (Monogatari High School, coming soon to a Tumblr near you.)

reblog game tell me a girl character youre obsessed with (men you headcanon as women are not allowed)

If I'm allowed to pick my own, Meg Santoro, problematic star of the novel I'm working on. Mad scientist, avenger, sometimes domestic terrorist of the "assassinates politicians trying to define people with superpowers as legally not human" variety, she's like Magneto with exactly none of the gravitas (uses "The Song That Doesn't End" to keep telepaths out of her head, named a cat Pikachu after mutating him to fire bolts of electricity, has another cat with wings named Angelkitty who pees on her ceiling despite being female). Aromantic and also kinda fucked in the head; these aren't related, but she doesn't necessarily know that.

If it has to be a pre-existing fictional character, Gel Sadra, the three-year-old force-grown villain of Gatchaman II, who is played for a joke in most of the series but toward the end started developing psychic powers, then discovered she was a force-grown child, then tried to recruit her mother (who was working with the heroes). When this did not work, her master and creator, Sosai X, killed her mother. Oh boy. He Should Not Have Done That. She died heroically but tragically at the end, turned back into a toddler and walked off toward heaven hand in hand with her mom in a sunbeam, but I keep coming up with ways to keep her alive.

I'm not obsessed with any of the MLP:FiM ponies, but I have strong, strong interests in Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Princess Celestia.

oh, you think i'm the shadow self? that's kind of embarrassing for you. i mean, anyone looking at us next to each other could see that you're the shadow self.. of course you didn't consider that you might be the shadow self. yeah no that does make you a bad person, that's why you're the shadow self. duh

To be read in the voice of the lead singer of Megadeth as heard in the song "Sweating Bullets".

Emergency help for a cat

She's not my cat, she belongs to the girlfriend of a friend of mine, but she lived in my house for a while and she's a really sweet kitty. She even knows how to use a toilet.

Our normally bouncy cat Bella didn’t greet us at the door, and I knew something was wron… Seth Keitz needs your support for Help Save Bella:

My friend Seth (whose girlfriend is the cat's owner) helped me get the fundraiser for my daughter's cat out, so I owe him one.

Help a pair of trans people save their sweet little cat, if you can.

Burn read rewrite: the Silmarillion, Twilight, Cupcakes (the fanfic)

Burn: Twilight. No saving it. It's not the sparkly vampires, it's a 120-year-old dude falling for a teenager, no it's not better just because he's been stuck at that age himself for 100 years, plus Stalking Is Love, plus the main character is just not that fucking interesting.

Rewrite: Cupcakes. I actually already did this in a sketch in

When Scootaloo falls off her scooter, Discord rescues her, turns her into a cyborg and makes her watch bad fanfic.

called "To Serve Cupcakes". Well, okay, I didn't rewrite it, I parodied it. But I also have an evil version of Pinkie eating ponies in Elements of Opposition. So as far as I am concerned I have completed the assignment.

Read: The Silmarillion. You know, if I ever am stuck in a hospital bed with no internet and nothing to do for two weeks again like I was when my son was born. (My mom recommended I not bother with this. My mom. Who made me reading lists, and LOTR and the Hobbit were both on them. But a lot of my friends seem to like it...)

The only people dumb enough to do this deserve it,

The accounts are for children, so no. Adults will be dumb and do this and the fallout will affect the kids. There's nothing good about this.

Let’s play Burn Read Rewrite. It’s like Kill Fuck Marry, but with books. Put three books in my ask.

I will do no more than ten.

I WANT TO DO THIS I WANT TO DO THIS SEND ME BOOKS

captainsnumple-deactivated20170

Send me some!

Ooh, sounds fun!

Alara doesn't actually hate Tumblr anymore @alarajrogers - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag