Homestuck: Return of the P*rn
((I have written not a single word of this fic - it was generated from this brilliant website: http://fanficmaker.com/ ))
Warning: This fic might contain spoilers for Homestuck, so be sure to see all of it before reading this.
Eridan Ampora stopped and gazed into space.
It was happening; He couldn't help thinking about Feferi Peixes again. He tried not too. Desperate to avoid the thoughts that could not be, no, - would not be- held back.
But like dozens of unstoppable diplodocuss they came creeping forward till they filled His brain;
Feferi Peixess smile shined like tin foil, as impressive as a rhino, it filled the farmhouse and Eridan Ampora was helplessly but willingly absorbed into them.
Feferi Peixess eyes were like marss.If you rolled them they would go quite far.
(Almost as lovely as mine. lol!/AN)
Feferi Peixess legs were like a guy on stilts. Straight and tight.
(Mine are best though. Lol!/AN)
Feferi Peixess chest was like a Hippalectryons. Powerful and impossible to ignore.
(For the purposes of this story, I am going to pretend that Feferi Peixess arnt as good as mine/AN)
How could Eridan Ampora not be helpless in the face of that?.
I mean, sure, Eridan Ampora and Feferi Peixes had sex with eachother before, when they met at a club once, but it was just a casual thing. One of many that night.
Before things got too messy Eridan Ampora snapped out of it. But the thoughts of Feferi Peixes would be back. Would He be able to resist next time?
Eridan Ampora, Assholedouchebag69 and Sollux Captor were all sitting in their house that they owned one day.They had been doing that to keep Assholedouchebag69 hormones under controll......
Eridan Ampora was finding it really hard to concentrate at this movement his thoughts kept trying to think of Feferi Peixes. Despite what was happening, it was hard to focus!
Assholedouchebag69 was taking a shower this hot day.
She was naked, enjoying the water dripping over her wet, naked body.
She was washing the blood off her body from the recent monsters she had just killed.
...the water smoothly rolled over her firm breasts.
The blood driped off like whipped cream in the ocean.
...the water dripping down her Meat curtains. "OwwwhhhOwwhhh" she said from the pleasure;
She had just finnished doing Bonestorming using a swimsuit. She was dreaming of Eridan Amporas manly lance pulsating inside her.
Then, suddenly, Eridan Ampora walked in..
"Sorry I have to interupt you, naked in the shower, but we must go!"
"What? im taking a shower, Im naked, cant you see that?"
"yes, I can see that you are naked, in the shower" Eridan Ampora said.
"But we must go...Gamzee Makara is back!."
"What not Gamzee Makara!!!" she punched the shower head out of anger.
assholedouchebag69 got out of the shower and put some clothes onher hot steaming naked body.
After she was no longer naked, they left to defeat Gamzee Makara.
Along the way they ran into Sollux Captor, who joined them on their quest.
"I will join you on your quest to defeat Gamzee Makara said Sollux Captor.
"Thanks for joining us on our quest," said Eridan Ampora;
"Yes, we need your help to defeat Gamzee Makara" said assholedouchebag69.
So, assholedouchebag69 Eridan Ampora and now assholedouchebag69 left by jump-jet for their epic quest to defeat
And they journeyed long and far too reach their destined encounter with fate which was foresaw by a soothsayer with the ability to predict the future that hasn't happened yet!!....
"We must journey now to yonder to defeat thee the evil spacecommander of evil and to defeat thee and return spread our magic to this realm of Alternia!"
"Yes, Letus the final battle commencement start!"
It must be here somewhere, but I have no idea where it could be", wondered Eridan Ampora
At that moment, Sollux Captor fell down some steps near a cave.
At the bottom was Gamzee Makara`s new spaceelivator!
As they entered, it was strangely and creepily abandoned.
"Come on" said Eridan Ampora
"Right behind you" said assholedouchebag69 bravely steping forward
..and then they went on their way!
"Ok, he is sure to be in the penthouse sweet in his warehouse " said Karkat Vantas pressing the correct elevator button
The elevator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!
"down!" shouted Feferi Peixes.
And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later...
The hatch opened and a couple of mercenaryss with swords pirouetted down.
"oh god! What are we going to do!?" said Sollux Captor
"We gota think fast" said Karkat Vantas.
"I know you dont like violence, Eridan Ampora, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please.." Said assholedouchebag69
Eridan Ampora thought about all the people he had murdered recently because of his fate.
"Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them" said Eridan Ampora who did a massive mighty super kirate kick just as the first soldier landed
but it missed!. Fortunatly assholedouchebag69 was there to catch Eridan Ampora. And did a turbo ninja kick in return causing boobs to bounce which knocked them unconscious.
"Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!"
A massive mercenarys appeared, but they killed him.
Ding! They had reached their floor.
And then, at the worst possible moment. It happened. Again.
Eridan Ampora gazed at Feferi Peixes.
It was impossible to resist this time. Like a reliant robin Eridan Ampora was pulled towards Feferi Peixes. It was a like flank in a war. It was a like a tommygun piercing through His heart. (and other lower regions of the body) It was a like magnets.
There was No resisting. No mercy. No Pants. No longer anything else mattered.
Feferi Peixes looked shocked and then...and then...not shocked. She had known all along.
Of course. How could Eridan Ampora have been so stupid? Those long looks at eachother,the times they gazed at the stars together, the candle lit dinners. The steamy showers.. The non stop sex.
It wasn't just friendship. It never was. It was more and Feferi Peixes had known all along.
"I knew" Feferi Peixes said.
"oh" Eridan Ampora said, realizing all this for the first time.
But there was more...Feferi Peixes wasn't pulling away. She was pushing tighter. Holding Eridan Ampora like a wild lynx.
At some point their clothes came off.
They got ripped in the process of the pashioning
He didn't care. This is what He had needed for so long. too long. Saturday. maybe more.
Eridan Ampora and Feferi Peixes together at last!
They canoddled like lovers and made love with their naughty bits.
They took it in turns inserting their bits into eachother. Eridan Ampora inserted his bit into Feferi Peixes. Then Feferi Peixes inserted her bit into Eridan Ampora. They repeated this a few times.(Toys were used)
Afterwards (when they had finished cleaning their bits)they looked at eachother longingly.
But they knew they must leave.
They didn't want anyone to see.
Eridan Ampora took one last look at Feferi Peixes.
"Love you too, my one and only Eridan Ampora"
"So you have come" said a voice booming from the sky
A jump-jet appeared above them.
Gamzee Makara laughed at them from it.
"I could gun you all down from here with my sabre, but I would rather do this...personal style."
he leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
"Ready?" he said, still laughing.
Eridan Ampora removed his shirt and flexed his abs.
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral rayguns).
Gamzee Makara head butted Eridan Ampora in the chest
Blood splashed onto the floor.
Eridan Ampora fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha" laughed Gamzee Makara
"You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?"
"I had too, for all that is good and just in the world."
"Well now you will die. Goodbye."
Gamzee Makara leaned over Eridan Ampora holding his penis.
"Quick Eridan Ampora use this!" said assholedouchebag69 ,chucking a nearby Crusifix towards Eridan Ampora.
Eridan Ampora grabbed it and chucked it towards Gamzee Makara hard, knocking him backwards....off the edge of the tall farmhouse they were on!
"Goodbye, Gamzee Makara have a nice fall!"
Some blood sprayed up and splashed on them.
"We are safe now, he fell to certain doom."
Sollux Captor and Karkat Vantas got out from the cornor where they were cuddleing. "Thank you, you saved us all"
So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.