Aggressiveness is not confidence + why we get it confused
We confuse aggressiveness with authority & confidence. We confuse volume with value. Just because someone is loud doesn’t mean they’re confident.Just because someone dominates a room doesn’t mean they’re secure
Actually, aggressiveness typically masks insecurity, fear of being ignored & even a lack of emotional regulation
It looks like strength because it carries so much “presence” but it’s rooted in survival mode, not self assurance. People who act aggressively often feel threatened and the louder they get, the more likely they’re trying to protect an inner fragility
Confidence doesn’t need to shout, interrupt, or take up space forcefully. A confidence person knows their value and doesn’t need to prove it. Think of it as a person living a certain life, they are used to it and see it as normal, so they don’t have to throw it in peoples faces to prove a point or validate themselves
They can say “no” without guilt. Walk away without drama. Speak up without needing to crush others
So based on ancient times, the loudest most dominant person typically became the leader, a lot of survival conditioning influenced this pattern
Also the amygdala (your brain’s threat detector) reacts more to loud, forceful behavior interpreting it as power or control, even when it’s not. Our brains mirror those we observe especially people with strong, energetic expressions. Loudness grabs attention definitely, but attention doesn’t equal respect
Socially, we’re trained to associate dominance with leadership. This makes us praise loud, aggressive people as “confident” even when they lack real emotional maturity. Ironically the best leaders have been proven to lead from the back, after all, a leader builds others up
So the next time someone’s being loud, bossy, or aggressive ask yourself if they are secure or are they just scared? Is their nervous system just haywire? If what they’re saying has so much validity why do they have to be aggressive and force others to listen. Because confidence whispers, while insecurity shouts
This should help give a new perspective for those of you who get anxious around or feel intimidated by aggressive people 🤍
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