What do I need to tell her?
That I saw her in the eclipse I recounted to her, and in the aurora I saw the same. That I looked for her there and in her absence deemed them lesser. That I saw her in every flower we passed in that botanical garden, and many before, and every one since.
That I have tried to move on from this love but couldn't. That it made me sick to think this could pass me by without knowing for certain. That I feel some kind of shameful guilt for holding on to it.
That I am terrified even on the off chance we could give this a shot, I will not be fit for it. That I have never known how to do this. That if I am nothing else I am a willing and eager student.
That I crave for her to feel joy and bliss whether I am blessed to be there or not. That I wish to trudge through pain and grief alongside her. That I am probably a fool for thinking I could do these things for anyone.
That I might just be too sentimental. That I dont care if I am.
Have you seen the new episode of that show you like yet?
(I've watched it twice today hoping I would get to talk to you about it)
Have you heard that new song from the artist you showed me?
(The longest playlist in my library is made of the songs that remind me of you)
How's that new job you were so excited about starting?
(I long to listen to each small happenstance)