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@raouldyke
when will people who’ve never talked to a single detransitioned woman in their lives stop talking about detransition lmao
“let me project all my feelings about gender onto these ~hypothetical~ group of women, because obviously they don’t actually exist, and if they do, they’re very few and my opinion on their lives matters more than theirs :)”
If you look up symptoms of ASD specific to girls one of them is frequently “masculine behavior/dress” or whatever and people love to blame that on autism being an “extreme male brain” but it’s really very easily explained when you consider what femininity is: a set of implicit social rules forced on women. Like, of course autistic girls and women aren’t going to be as successful at performing femininity “correctly.” It doesn’t have to do with the fictitious male brain. It has to do with femininity being inaccessible to people who have difficulty navigating complex and arbitrary social conventions.
And coincidentally, multiple studies have shown a much, much higher incidence of autism spectrum disorders among girls referred to “gender clinics” / identifying as trans, than among the general population. There is a very clear link between autistic girls and girls who think they are (or should be) boys, just as there is a very clear link between lesbian girls and girls who think they are (or should be) boys, but nobody is allowed to point it out and ask why - or ask why people are so comfortable with the idea of sterilising a population of kids who are much more likely than the general population to be disabled and/or gay.
I was trying to find more research about the link between autism and dysphoria or a trans identity, and apparently there was a documentary on British TV last week about the London-based Tavistock and Portman ‘gender identity clinic’, which revealed some terrifying statistics:
This gender clinic “treats” children as young as three. (”Three children aged three were referred to the clinic in the past year, compared with none in the previous year.”)
“Ten years ago, the Tavistock received 40 referrals a year; now it is 1,400. Boys were once the majority – now around 1,000 of its patients are girls.” First, the number of children referred in 2015 was more than double the 2014 number. That’s a 100% increase. Second, in Britain, in one year - 1,400 children. 400 boys, 1,000 girls. I wonder why girl children are more scared or repelled by the idea of becoming women, than boy children are by the idea of becoming men?
And to go back to OP’s point: “The latest prevalence studies of autism indicate that 1.1% of the population in the UK may have autism.”
50% of the children referred to the Tavistock gender clinic - two thirds of which are girls - are on the autism spectrum.
I don’t understand people who don’t find the concept of "trans children” horrifying on every possible level.
Yeah umm fucking no okay. No.
While there are definitely children who are confused, pressured, delusional, etc. how the fuck can you discredit all of the trans people who started transitioning at pretty young ages who are absolutely happy & satisfied with their choice many years later?
How can you discredit the experiences of adult trans people who knew DAMN well all or well close to all of their lives what was right for them.
You can be wary about children transitioning with rationality and compassion without saying the concept of any child being trans is “horrifying on every possible level”
“While there are definitely children who are confused, pressured, delusional, etc. “ Why are you so casually accepting the sterilisation (and other dangerous side effects of transition) of all these confused or pressured children for the sake of a few “real” trans people who will be happy with their choice? Why are you treating these confused and pressured children (most of whom are likely to be disabled and/or gay) as acceptable casualties? Why do you care so little about them? And where do you draw the line? How many disabled kids or gay kids are you okay with sterilising due to a wrong trans diagnosis?
“discredit all of the trans people who started transitioning at pretty young ages who are absolutely happy & satisfied with their choice many years later?” We do not actually have this kind of data. The transition of children is an extremely recent phenomenon. All the trans people who started being transitioned at very young age… are still very young. We have no cohort of trans people in their 40s or 50s who were transitioned as children and can tell us how it has impacted their life. Trans children are a completely new phenomenon, there are no long-term studies of the effects of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones on the youth, so doctors are pretty much just hoping for the best.
What doctors who treat trans youth say about the effects of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones: “There isn’t enough research on whether someone who was on puberty blockers will regain all their bone strength, or if they might be at risk for osteoporosis in the future”, “we don’t really know how sex hormones impact any adolescent’s brain development”, “what’s lacking are specific studies that look at the neurocognitive effects of puberty blockers”, “there isn’t enough research is the impact that suppressing puberty has on brain development”, “There are so many unanswered questions around the long-term consequences.” What the chair of the committee who drafted the guidelines of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (who endorses the use of puberty blockers for children) says about puberty blockers: “We still don’t know the subtle or potential long-term effects on brain function or bone development. Many people recognize it’s not a benign treatment.”
“How can you discredit the experiences of adult trans people who knew DAMN well all or well close to all of their lives what was right for them.” Well, funnily enough, a lot of trans people who started transitioning as adults have children. The majority of transwomen we hear about who started transition in their 40s or 50s have fathered several children. There are also a lot of news stories about adult trans men having children. So why are all these adult trans people who chose to have children so happy with the idea of sterilising trans kids and robbing them of the opportunity to make the same choice later in life? Don’t they see their hypocrisy when they say they wish they too could have transitioned as children, even though they all chose to have bio kids and therefore clearly wouldn’t have wanted lifelong infertility? I find these people revolting, because they are clearly using trans children as a way to gain legitimacy for themselves (if you can even find trans toddlers, how can you say transgenderism is anything but pure and good and natural?) even though their own life choices prove that they would rather not have been transitioned (and sterilised) as children themselves.
“You can be wary about children transitioning with rationality and compassion without saying the concept of any child being trans is “horrifying on every possible level”” I don’t think any child is “truly trans”, but even if you disagree, again, where do you draw the line? I don’t know how many stories I’ve read about children who were not allowed to be gender non-conforming until they were “diagnosed as trans”, and only then did their parents start allowing them to play with their preferred toys or wear their preferred clothing, which of course resulted in the child happily embracing & clinging to their transgender identity. I’ve lost count of how many gay people I’ve heard say that they would have definitely identified as trans (or been pressured to transition by their parents) if they had grown up in today’s climate. I’m one of them. My mother is one of them. Her first reaction when she learned about trans children was to say that her Catholic, homophobic parents would have jumped on the opportunity to turn their boyish lesbian daughter into a straight trans son - and her own internalised homophobia would have made her eager to follow their lead. There’s an autistic woman on this post saying she would have probably been trans had she been a child/teen today. There was a survey of 200 detransitioned women going around tumblr recently, who regretted having had to face the decision to transition at such a young age. Is 200 still within the range of acceptable casualties? Do you need more? How many? And again - 50% of the children referred to that gender identity clinic are autistic. And there are several peer-reviewed studies in the second link I gave above, showing that 95-100% of girls who persist in their transition (i.e. go from puberty blockers to cross-sex hormones which results in sterilisation) are same-sex attracted. With everything we know about lesbian girls and autistic girls and their struggle with gender norms - why are these numbers not horrifying to you? How many disabled children and gay children is it okay to write off as acceptable losses, and sterilise with zero certainty that they won’t come to regret it later, before we’re allowed to name the very idea of transitioning children as unethical and wrong?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and it really bothers me that so many interests commonly shared by women and girls become considered "cringey". I'm always amazed that teen girls who like Starbucks and sportswear and Snapchat are relentlessly ridiculed in a way that many teen boys never are for violent video games or revenge porn. I seen young women treated worse online for being "basic" than boys are when they share explicit pictures of their girlfriends.
I know firsthand how frustrating it is. When I liked dark clothes, eyeliner, and emo bands, men mocked me. When I wore boots and mom jeans and grandma glasses, men mocked me. When I loved bee pins and van Gogh t shirts and novelty socks, men mocked me. It was always me that was the problem, not the men being cruel for no reason. Every time I found a style and way of life that suited my needs during a certain time in my life, men mocked me. No subculture that women create is safe from patriarchal anger. There's no shared community, no matter how benign and apolitical, that's not hated by men. Basic girls, indie and hipster girls, goths and alternative girls, art hoes, gamer girls, VSCO girls, any community of likeminded women. We can never gather and share our interests away from a disapproving male gaze.
So many men seem to think that being 100% and completely unique (in a way that's appealing to men of course) is the only thing that makes a woman's lifestyle acceptable. They expect a million versions of a manic pixie dream girl. They reject community in a way women don't. There's no conformity or weakness in gathering and enjoying. Pretentious men self imposing social isolation and rejecting the common for the sake for being edgy will never be as fulfilled as the women who so frequently find community in each other. Girls, don't seek male approval in any aspect of your life. Not in your appearance, and not in what brings you happiness.
i’ve never really thought about the fact that ‘physically painful clothes (esp on special occassions)’ are specifically a part of female childhood and not something males experience?? like i’ve superficially realized it but my mind is kind of blown now that i’m really thinking about the fact that probably none of my male friends had to wear painful things as kids and that wasn’t just like…a defining childhood experience
(some examples: heels & painful shoes that squish your toes, various hair accessories such as those terrible spiky headbands lol, ill-fitting wire bras that leave red lines bc you don’t really have enough boob for them yet, dresses that your mom ties too tightly in the back but you don’t say anything bc u gotta look good, tights with seams that hurt your feet inside your too-tight shoes, FUCKING GIRDLES under your dress that your mom says will enhance your figure, etc. etc…)
And women use that even tho they know it will hurt.Everytime I go out with other women and they use high heels they will certainly complain about them here and there and will literally give up on enjoying the event, sitting down the whole time, pain expressions, not dancing or simply standing up because they hurt too much, women give up on fun and happiness for beauty.And we learn that since childhood, because keeping your dress clean and looking pretty is above your well being, even at age 5.
Femininity is a prison.
I think there is a big problem now with the lgbt community convincing young feminine gay men and young masculine lesbians in particular that they are trans (instead of just letting them go against gender roles). I’m seeing more and more cases of “trans regret” and detransitioning. People sterilizing themselves for life and getting their breasts cut off (for example) for nothing. It’s an issue no one wants to talk about and people just scream “transphobic!!! terfz!!” to silence but sorry this is a real issue.
I wish less of my dysphoria was tied in with my weight;; I know a lot of this is societal but it’s hard to look as ambiguous as I need to with female fat distribution (for lack of a better term) idk man I just want my wranglers to fit me right.. how great would life be w/out hips.. yknow
The more I look at myself, the more I see the woman in me, and the fact that others don’t always see her doesn’t make her any less real or valid.
if your detransition support posts are contingent on our politics and how they can serve you (“support detrans trans allies!” “support detrans people so those nasty terfs don’t brainwash them!” “support detrans people, poor sad victims of gender theory!!!”) then you don’t support detrans people. I am SO tired of having my trauma politicized by people who only care about what it can do for them it’s honestly exhausting and it honestly makes me sick it’s so transparent that you don’t give a fuck about us
if a detransitioned woman merely talking about her life really stops someone from transitioning, was transition really the best option for that person in the first place?
My presentation has not changed at all since I stopped identifying as transmasc and started identifying as a gnc woman. What has changed is that it feels empowering instead of a shameful desperate attempt at survival. As a nonbinary who was getting pushed closer and closer to medical transition, when I presented the way I wanted to I justified it by saying I could dress “like a man” because I’m not a woman, and spent all those years keeping on my toes to make sure I don’t come off as one and crumbling every time I wasn’t acknowledged the way I wanted to be seen. I was tense and afraid, and it was a very selfish solution to a global problem in how women are allowed to behave.
Identifying as a woman who dresses and acts this way has let me grow reacquainted with my own body and empowers me with the knowledge that I’m showing other women and girls that a woman can dress however she chooses. Nonbinary was me turning my back on my sisters to save myself, butchness is me embracing our shared history and encouraging and helping other women where I can.
Story time
If you haven’t yet seen detransitioned woman and force of nature Maria Catt’s Youtube channel, it might be time to check it out, for this message and many more.
Things that are normal for girls:
wanting to wear clothing from the boys’ department
wanting to cut your hair short
not wanting to wear makeup
being attracted to other girls
hating your body
hating getting your period
hating your breasts and/or vulva
wishing you weren’t a girl
not feeling like a girl
feeling like you’re doing girlhood wrong
hey, i’m a detrans woman looking for more detrans people to follow! this is a sideblog so I’ll be following from my main, but do me a favor and like/rb this if you’re detrans or post detrans content. ty!
detransitioned people are not only valid but can be trans allies as well, they're not a scary boogeyman to tell young trans kids about, for or against being trans. i know they're not talked about a lot and they can make it seem like your worst fears are coming to pass, but their lived realities and what they've experienced doesn't somehow magically undo you being trans. you might be uncomfortable with it but someone's actual life isn't a political statement.
support detransitioned/detransitioning people. they're not trenders. they weren't faking. telling yourself that someone made 5+ years worth of mistakes won't help you sleep at night, it's erasing their pursuit to be comfortable in their own skin so you can be more comfortable in yours instead.
I'm honestly baffled by detransitioners. How the f--- does someone convince themselves they have gender dysphoria when they don't? As someone who is a transsexual, it's incomprehensible to me that someone would give themselves dysphoria through medically transitioning when they don't need to.
Sometimes I still feel like happy-crying when I see my flat chest despite being over 2 years post-op. I often just stare at myself in the mirror, at my masculine face and facial hair, and I almost can't believe it because it still feels too good to be true.
I still have bottom dysphoria but the relief I feel over the rest of my dysphoria being gone is just awesome. How someone could be so into Tumblr transsub rhetoric that they end up putting themselves through what transsexual people go through before transition is beyond me. And on top of that knowing you f---ing did it to yourself!
I guess I should feel some compassion for them and I do a little bit but it's difficult to. Trans people already have a hard time being taken seriously and have to fight tooth and nail to get the medical attention we so desperately need. Every time someone detransitions, it just gives more fuel to TERFs and other transphobes. It also gives medical professionals more reasons to make it difficult to start transition, to see who is really serious about needing it.
It's a fact that detransitioners make trans people's lives a lot harder and that's why tucute/transsub rhetoric is so dangerous to the trans community: because it convinces cis people they can choose to be one of us and when they believe them and f--k up their own lives, we end up suffering for it despite not doing anything wrong.
what a selfish, ignorant, and frankly cruel take on an issue you clearly know nothing about. I had dysphoria before I transitioned. I still have dysphoria after detransitioning. I lived as a man for five years — a literal quarter of my life — 100% sure that this was the path for me. I’m sorry that my spending years so deep in trauma, internalized misogyny/lesbophobia, dissociation, self-loathing, and body dysphoria that I accidentally created a new person to be without realizing it until the traumatic realization that I had done so was such an inconvenience to you, but maybe if you approached this issue with the nuance and compassion we deserve, you’d understand a little better.
