Vessel's Shop

I am a Poet, Musician and Writer and this is my universe

[rapturevessel]

In Gods Hands:

The radio silence shivers

like a tremor down my spine

Thinking of old conversation

that flowed like summer wine

until I learned that you were gone

that you were never mine

I find myself choking the seconds

The pain of abundant time

You’re in the hands of God my dear

I put you there tonight

I couldn’t handle all the fear

May I meet you at the fire

Vessel

May `21

[rapturevessel]

The Stakes

We live in a world where everything is super important. What you eat is important, who you align with politically is important, and what games you buy are important. The stakes are high all the time.

Gone are the carefree days of playing and enjoying life. If you happen to be over 6 years old, you have to start working to achieve. Achieve, build, reach, scale, traverse and overcome.

These are all words used in the context of a battle. Which is quite fitting... life is a struggle after all. If you are lucky you were born into a rank with affluence and get to command the grunts to go to and fro and if you are unlucky you are burdened with poverty, neurodivergence, minority status and whatnot, which means you will have to fight extra hard to get to the top.

Now imagine what would happen when you actually reached the top. You scaled the corporate ladder, and you overcame your rival in the qualifiers, your political party won, you're long awaited game is in your hands... you find The One.

Instant happiness right? Happily ever after right?

I recently was lucky enough to reach many of the goals I had in childhood. I joined a successful band, I recorded my first solo album, and I lost weight that I believed for years I wouldn't lose. I achieved so many things and waited for the ecstasy of life to finally wash over me like a well-deserved tide.

But it never came.

I was still miserable, still sad. More battles appeared on the new horizon that I had climbed so long to reach. Success was out of my reach again. New Level, New Devils.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Maybe it's all pointless. Maybe happiness always is out of reach. Yes... these answers are all probably true.

But maybe it's a little different. What if we can see that the stakes aren't as high as they were made out to be.

"But c'mon Ves! If I aint successful I'm a failure! If I don't have a girlfriend I'll be lonely forever! If my political party fails, the world will end."

So what?

We keep holding on to these ideals as if they will bring us happiness. But they don't. Otherwise, those who have achieved their dreams and found the one would have ascended to the heavens upon achieving these things. But they haven't. Because life happens even after you've achieved this empty trophy.

And say you are a failure, you lose, you never become what you wanted to be. Say that happens, so what? You are still alive and still here. Even if you die... you won't mind...you'll be dead.

The world is not supposed to be a death trap designed to mess with us humans. It's designed to be a game. Treat the world as something fun.

"But Ves. The world isn't fun!"

Only because you choose to make the stakes so high and the reward so unfulfilling. Once you can the world into your playground. You'll want to succeed not because your happiness depends on it, but because it's fun.

Things will also become more fun to do once you accept that the happiness that you seek, the peace that is needed to survive any storm. Already resides in you.

Once you take this knowledge with you, live in it. Come out of the future where fear and doubt resides and steal from you and come live in the kingdom of the present where we lack nothing.

Lower the stakes on your life. The world doesn't work against you, and you don't need to work against it. It is here to look after you. Live life like the game it is. Enjoy it! Savour the hard moments and the satisfaction of overcoming them... just for kicks.

Don't hold on to the idea of working for happiness. Settle for the idea of being at peace. Naturally, you are at peace. Accept that this world can give you nothing that you don't have already. Play... like a child.

[rapturevessel]

Serendipity

God cut me a moment From his infinite, canvas puzzle And I appreciated it in the moment And I left it behind for him again

For serendipity cannot belong to man It can only be witnessed

Serendipity is the saints wink Crystallizing like glitter dust and thrown into the black canvas of sky to form the stars

That is how God made the stars Serendipity

6 June 2021 Stellenbosch

-Vessel

[rapturevessel]

Writer Diary #1 (Story #1: The Templar)

So in recent months, I have been slow to the uptake with writing. I've been busy with two large-scale novel projects which are a joy but also quite slow and time-consuming. I need to up the volume of work that I put out so now I have decided the following.

I'm going to take a page out of Yahtzee Crowshaw's book and do a "Dev Diary" or Writers Diary where I go through ideas for short stories and I will try to complete a story a month! Hopefully, I will be able to meet these deadlines and build up my portfolio of stories by twelve.

On to the first one:

I recently had a writing prompt about Christian mythology, using stories and creatures from the Bible to write fantastical fiction about it. Immediately It aligned with a hyper-fixation I had at the time on the Knights Templar.

The Idea I had was of a Templar who escaped from hell. Why he was in hell in the first place we will find out, but he leaves hell in search of a way through which to achieve salvation.

Along the way, he meets the spirit of a little Muslim girl, cold and alone and being pursued by the angels of hell. (Massive shadowy creatures). The Templar at first is dissuaded to help her due to her beliefs but then protects her from an attack. His mission now is to help the little one finish her pilgrimage to Mecca and ascend to heaven.

The whole trip will make the templar confront the duality of his mission. He will face inner disgust and outer struggles in the form of the angels of death.

I don't know much else about the characters. I also got some help from a friend of mine who suggested the pilgrimage storyline. I have until the end of February to write and edit the story which seems like a lot of time but I know they can creep up on ya!

All of my stories will probably be posted on Wattpad etc.

Lets see how this goes!

[cryptonature]

Vultures are holy creatures.

Tending the dead.

Bowing low.

Bared head.

Whispers to cold flesh,

“Your old name is not your king.

I rename you ‘Everything.’”

(From my poetry collection Love Notes from the Hollow Tree by Jarod K. Anderson.)

[adreoss]

Let It go - The Spoken Version

[rapturevessel]

The Game of Love

I had a conversation with my best friend recently about love. Or more accurately about expectation.

We as human beings subconsciously love the idea of expectation, and what's not to love? It's a handy tool to discern whether or not something is worth our time. If it meets our expectations it is obviously worth investing and if it doesn't we can simply walk away.

It's all well and good, however, it becomes a lot more complicated when we venture into the topic of love.

In a relationship, we often become burdened by expectations. Especially at the start of a relationship. It usually starts after the second date when we feel like this person might be someone we could get committed with, and then we add little expectations, just to see if they can measure up. However this is when the trouble can begin.

What if they don't measure up? What if they accidentally forget to open the door for you? What if they don't respond to your texts quick enough? What if they... etc etc.

Here is the secret that almost nobody will tell you... Expectations are always bound to fail! Always.

No person can match the idea of the perfect lover that we have in our heads... they will always come short in some aspects and excel in others.

But then how can we make sure a person is worth my investment and time? If we shouldn't expect anything, then how can we be sure they are right for us?

We must remember the core reason why we love people. Its because our hearts resonated with something inside them, something about them!

In the early stages, when you get to know someone, you don't need to burden yourself or your crush with expectations. Take every moment to get to know exactly who this strange and alluring person is!

Likewise, you don't need to concern yourself with living up to anyone's expectations. They like you... that should be enough.

Expectations are more often than not a cause of worry and dissatisfaction within your own soul. No one really cares weather or not they reach your expectations just like you shouldn't care weather or not you reach someone else's.

Go with the flow, be with the person in this present and you'll be surprised how good the future can become. If we can stop holding on so tightly to our preconceived notions and ideas of our partners, we allow the universe to surprise us.

Love is a game, love is meant to be fun because it is uncontrollable.

Let it be what it is...

[rapturevessel]

The Fear and the Game

So... for most of my life, I have been hesitant to share my poems, blog or write anything meaningful on social media for fear of how it can cheapen things. For fear of the great unknown of expectation that hangs like the damned sword over all our heads.

Now however I am resolved to change this. Because recently I have realized the nature of this game.

We often tend to take life a bit too seriously, believing that any sort of humiliation or vulnerability will lead to death or permanent social outcast. This is ego talking most of the time and I'll be damned if I let that get in the way of life.

Charles Bukwoski once said that one shouldn't write if it doesn't come flowing out of you regardless. I tend to agree. This is not a statement of content but a statement against fear.

So what are my fears that I am challenging by writing this... well for one its a fear of rejection by others.

What if no one sees my writings? what if the algorithm makes me invisible? But also what if the wrong people see it? What if they judge me? What if I am rejected by people and what if my dreams won't come true? What would be the point?

All good points... All valid fears. But what if the writing still flows after I have failed. What then? A river doesn't stop flowing because of the presence of a rock or a damn. It will just build up and overflow to continue its journey.

My real fear is not being successful in my writing endeavours, but by defining success by someone else's approval makes the success hollow and ultimately unachievable.

So here it is, my first proper blog post. It is a success within itself merely because it exists. Even if no one reads it! It will be a success because it is here.

The same goes for you as a person... you don't need to succeed in the eyes of many. In fact, you don't need to do anything to be a success! You are here so that the universe can behold its own wonder and splendor. You are the universe's eyes and ears!

You are a success merely because you exist!

[rapturevessel]

The Better Man

I’d have liked him more if I hated him. Why must he be a good man? Why must he make you laugh better than I can?

I wish he was an asshole. Not a functioning human being. Why must I know that for you, he is better than me?

Why does he fit your soul much better than I can?

Why must I know that he would be the better man?

Vessel Sometime in 2021