Reflections of a Chaotic Mind

Reflect through the poems, bring back those chaotic memories, and let them go.

[adreoss]

The Devil’s Due

Have you ever seen a demon in love with a goddess?

The odds are not as low as you might think The devil got astonished by the clearness of her eyes Reminding him of the calmness of the depths Obsidian spheres reflect her kind heart Tender and comfortable at first sight They looked at me with wonder and affair because of how strange and peculiar I must be to her. A dark aura recovering my-self invited her to feel the warmth of my chest Her hands, refurbished with a sweet touch, reached at my face with praise My sight from above made her feel petite and weak to my spell I pulled her in, and she melted I could feel the fluidity of her body morphing and covering mine with grace Her eyes, those damned eyes, led me into her domains, there in heaven But while I was there, I could feel her radiance flickering down I tainted orange, black, her perfect blue sky I made her light gravitate towards my darkness And although her eyes showed a brighter glow I backed down before I made her night Unfortunately, my hatred is so pure it can hurt you. Which means: By remaining together, you could have transformed me into a god. But the possibility of you becoming a devil was the result I couldn't stand And I loved you too much to risk that chance I'll never forget the juiciness of your soul or the tenderness of your body. And I will forever remember that day we reminded them all how twilight was created. I still wonder: How could a goddess fall in love with a demon? But what really makes me ponder: Why does a demon write about looking at her?

Adreoss

[adreoss]

This is what I saw last night

All within a Dream

I saw you again You were as beautiful as the last time As full of energy as I recalled you

I saw you again But your clothes were different Your acting was different You —were different

I saw you again I looked the same Acted the same Did the same

I saw you again You saw me again And you couldn’t stop looking Like if you needed to say something

I saw you again You looked worried We crossed looks once And I understood everything 

I saw you again And my dream self— Did something I’d never It stood beside you Touched your shoulder And left

I know this won’t mend anything But that tap within the dream And this poem within reality Just wanted to calm you for a few seconds

I saw you again in my dreams And I hope your smile keeps protecting you And I’m sure everything will be alright

Adreoss

[adreoss]

The Goddess' Affair

“Why does a demon write about looking at her?” Perhaps it is due to your love so pure, it can heal me, pleasure me. And your embrace… it can lead me to a place better than heaven– –and all things good and shining combined. Engulf me with the truth of your chest, and the warmth of your words. Looked down upon me, assert your title upon me, so I may claim it as mine. Share me with every part of you and let me tie them with silk and lace. Caress me like the stars does the sky. Desire me like the moon does the sea. Repel and I will pull you in. Back down and I will kiss the horns that crowned your head. No matter what you may do, I will always gravitate to the night you’ve brought upon my days– –for the night is not as void as you believe. It speaks of comfort, of respite… It sings of sincerity, of desire… By remaining together, I could have transformed you into a god. But you plead you love me too much to bear the mere possibility of me becoming a devil. Though, I must ask…

If an aura so dark you claim to hold within, why do I only see the stars adorned eyes?

Why do I only hear the birdsong voice?

Why do I only feel a husband’s touch? I’m more than certain a thorned beast, as you claim to be, is not who your heart raised you to be. I’m more than certain the twilight we gave birth to was nothing but a symbol of the unspoken bond between our hearts, our souls. I’m more than certain things would only occur if we warrant them to. That is how a goddess falls in love with a demon. Crepusculum. Come back to me. Written by: ManytoOnePoet

[adreoss]

This Is The Worst Feeling

The Saddest Moment is: Laughing and having fun But then remembering your smile is not here And will never be Again

Adreoss

[adreoss]

Someone did an illustration of my poem :)

[adreoss]

Where Do Smiles and Tears Meet?

Companionship

There, I found him He was so little I couldn’t believe he could be in that place A corner so dark and humid Surrounded by decayed, destroyed walls And a rotten floor creaking with each step

He was crying so loud, but I never heard a sound His sobs were so intense he couldn’t breathe His gaze so fixed and buried in his hands, He didn't notice me there

I tried to call him by his name I tried to reach him, but he didn’t even bother I tried singing, but still no reaction I tried writing, but he couldn’t see it I tried it all, but nothing worked

So I just stayed… I stayed in that place with him I felt the darkness embracing us I felt the cold running through our veins I felt the harsh winds drying our eyes I felt it all there with him Until it was done

He laid his head on my shoulder and fainted

I covered him with my arms I held him tight in my hands, stood up And I strolled to the exit

He was so little His hair and nails so long His face so dirty And his eyes so numb

I took care of him from that day on

Until one day, I heard him laugh out loud Until one day, I watched him play outside Until one day, I saw him making friends again

One day, I saw him so happy I couldn’t believe it was him.

I sometimes find him there, again But now he can hear me But now he can see me But now he can read me And even wrote this with me While we were visiting

I recognized this feeling again… The day our eyes first met And even though you had the biggest smile I could see the little girl crying in that place

I was a fool to think I could help you I was so arrogant to believe I could do it again I looked for that little girl with all my heart Yet I never found her

I failed so hard But now I understand:

Only you are allowed in that room

And I hope you can leave that place, holding her tight

Adreoss

[adreoss]

Do You Miss That Person?

To: Whoever Needs It

Yes, I thought you would stay Yes, I did everything you asked for to keep you Yes, I ignored your lies and secrets to avoid conflicts Yes, I believed you were the love of my life Yes, you left.

Yes, I watch your pictures every day Yes, I listen to our playlist every hour Yes, I read your letters daily to calm the pain Yes, I play on repeat your "I love you" voice note Yes, I still do…

Yes, you came back Yes, you said you love me and that you can't live without me Yes, I was dying to say the same back to you Yes, I wished to hug and kiss you Yes, I still think you are the love of my life

But

No, I didn't answer the phone No, I didn't say it back to you No, I didn't do it

And not because I don't believe you’re the One but because I owed it to myself.

You decided to abandon me So I decided to wish you luck to turn my back on you and, with my shattered heart, keep walking

Yes, I did that and No, I'm not sure if it was the right decision…

From: Adreoss

[adreoss]

Take Care

After all I don't think it was The appropriate ending For a perfect couple For our perfect story However, it seems like: We were so exhausted That we couldn't carry anymore The weight Of our Pride Of our Ego Thank you for so much love I'll really miss you Take Care. No one

[adreoss]

Love and Hatred

The story utters that inside a cold dark cavern A pair of youth dragons were trapped By a fearless knight, half wyvern The creatures have quandaries As one of them could not see The other one was not able to perceive Nevertheless, both of them have their nature The first one shines as bright as it wants The remaining one was armed with stiffer scales and colossal nails

Love and Hatred were their names They have been fed until the day However, Hatred has eaten more than Love has I would say that because its body is vast

As a result, its desire for dominance and freedom arrived Thus, the next time the cavalier showed up -- -- he felt it. He knew it was the day

Without a doubt, the wild creature strived against him The knight was not quick enough to react, leaving the lizard to take his left arm away But the Sir was not afraid and with lots of tenacity He caught the piece of flesh inside the dragon’s jaws Pounced right onto the creature’s visage and stabbed its eyeball in ferocity He divided it in two; it seemed like a job done with a scythe Make no mistake; he did not manipulate an Oz It was just a taste of his own claws

A screech was heard

Hatred gave a few steps back as far as he could stand It raised his head with a gaze of intense abhorrence -- -- Focusing on the knight

But then, Love began to shine in intervals of time Alike flashes, which stunned and made them both get back While the great dragon was astounded, the knight fled

From that day on. Hatred tried to attack, but no matter how -- -- Love always got in the way until the day

Fifteen years had passed since Hatred killed both Love and Knight Leaving just an emotionless, careless, and lightless jar

At that time, when everything became gloomy, you were the one who set alight a bonfire and illuminated the cavern as only Love was able to do it

I swear Hatred will not hurt anybody again

As a final point, you may request Why did not the dragons escape?

Well, that’s because they lived in my head.

Adreoss

[adreoss]

When The Rain Falls

I can't be forever at your side But every time you look at the stars Every time you smile at the flowers Whenever rain falls

And every time you read these words

You can be sure…

You are present in my thoughts

Adrian R.

[adreoss]

Do I Make You Happy? :)

Masterpieces

They make me wonder…

How can your eyes have that glow on top? It's like they've been drawn And the artist, on purpose, left that white spot

I like to think they shine because of me That I am the artist who filled up the rest with ink The one who portrays laughter in your face by just looking at them

I really want to know…

Am I the one who sparks your heart with the touch of our hands? Do I pigment that shy look and reddish cheeks with my hugs? Is the reach of my lips what alights your skin? Do the whispers of my body awake your desires?

I want to be the artist who paints the shades of your fires The one who illustrates spring spells in your blood And sends the colors of love through your veins Tell me... Am I the creator of your joy when it rains? I really wish to illustrate the key to freeing your chains

Adreoss

[adreoss]

Do you know a person like this?

Yellow

Since I first met you… I could see deep pain in your eyes And I perceived the thorn in your chest By noticing the invisible tears of blood-- --Staining your dress

I don't know why But I have always associated you with:

A yellow heart A bright smile And a warm hug

You taught me what happiness is all about:

Being able to light a smile To shine with your Sun rays-- --and brighten other people's days Even when inside of us is dark

That's why I feel you are-- --one of the happiest beings alive…

Adreoss

[adreoss]

Do you need help?

Back-Up You will never recognize how far down you are Until the last piece is on the floor Or the former brick crashes and breaks apart And even then You will try to build it all back up Stand on it again Pretend it’s not crumbling apart And sink one floor below One more time...

Hello, I’m Adreoss I’ve been living down here for a while Prepare all your stuff I’ll help you get back up

Adreoss

[adreoss]

Black Heart

I felt its existence that day

When the skies crashed And thunder flashed While wondering… Would I be able to withstand this next clash?

It allowed me to walk by Without a tear in my eye It helped me face darkness For the only cost of my brightness

It has brought me this far But can it take me through my last path? Will it be enough to help me stand? Or will it be the poison that makes me fall apart?

I still remember its counterpart

What I call a

Brave Heart

It had the power to take your hand And help everybody with a bright smile It withheld the strength to let me traverse these difficult times… Without feeling this numb I felt its existence today It's what allowed me to write this part It awakens sometimes and makes art

Will they ever connect? Will it ever pump passion through my veins again? It might help mend the anger, wrath, and pain your absence left I need to know now… How can I connect these two hearts?

Adreoss

[adreoss]

What I Miss The Most of You

18th of May Again

I wake up again I gaze at the rooftop and sight in pain I wash my face but stop midway… I stare at the sink while water droplets fall And I stay there-- --for who knows how long

I wake up again I dry my face while I sight in pain With the towel in hand In disbelief I leave my arm hanging loose

On my way there I glance at the floor And watch every step

I wake up again I hung the towel-- --but stopped midway I shake my head And I say to myself: "One more day"

I wake up again I put on my mask again I fake smile again.

Today It's been 18 years… But I really wish I could say

I wake up again And I can hug you… Again.

Adrian G

[adreoss]

The One Thing I Forgot...

Anchored to the Ground

I thought I had made sure to load it off I checked my shoulders, and they were free My back does not feel any tension either I can move freely, jump, run, and dance My head feels lighter; I can laugh, joke, and admire Everything seems fine and with no burden That I even think I can fly…

But something is keeping me rooted When trying to take off. I ignored it, but now I feel it It’s my heart It weighs tons It's pushing downwards Applying more pressure every time The veins cannot hold it any longer I hear them screeching off Releasing itself from its chamber My heart feels harder-- --heavier And it's now sinking faster Into the eternal void in my stomach That today feels deeper

I thought I had made sure to load it off But I was wrong I didn't check my heart-- --and that is why… I'm still anchored to the ground.

Adreoss

[adreoss]

The Reason I Said Goodbye to Her...

A Path for One

You were everything I was looking for, I always thought you deserved the whole world. Unfortunately, I am crippled at love, And you are so full of it. It would have been selfish to delay you. Go! Don’t look back. I will be here watching you being happy, It will give me the strength to continue the race. Go! Don’t look back. It will make my heart not stop its pace.

You were always right, But that doesn’t mean I was at all wrong.

You wanted to walk beside me in darkness, But It’s safer for me to walk alone down that road. I don’t want anyone to have a taste of it. It may break you and change you. I didn’t want to infect your kind heart with darkness… I just wanted to protect you.

I want you to be free. I want your eyes to keep shining. I want your smile to keep showing. And I don’t want your happiness ever to tremble.

I have always felt that I am not good, And that is why I want you all to be far. My brain works weirdly. I thought it was hatred, but I realized. It is my way to love you.

You might have thought you were not enough, You may have believed it was your fault, You could have fallen for a while because of me, But with me, you would have been at risk of never coming back, And I would have never forgiven myself for that part.

What was our success? Maybe it was the fact that I was not sure you were mine, And you were not sure I was yours, But deep inside our souls, We knew we were for each other. But it seems like now we will forever be a good goodbye.

I can’t lie to you. I dreamt about you every night, I thought about you every day, I hoped for you to come back every sunrise, And reality destroyed me every sunset.

By doing all this, I was afraid of two things, That you will forget me, and that you will never forgive me.

I never enjoyed other lips. I never had much fun with anyone else. And I understood, I will forever lack you.

And this is the only way this broken guy learned, And this is the only way this broken guy knows, And this is the only way I am able to show, How much I cared, And how much I loved.

Adreoss