Summary: 7 years after your death, Jack still hasn't fully grieved. He's haunted by you; you're everywhere. Reader relives events leading up to, during, and post your death.
CW: This is my first fic I've written in a while, Grammar issues (dont call me out I dont really care) Medical inaccuracies, Death, talks of death, allusions to suicide (kinda look hard you see it), Reader isn't really described physically, probably missing some, its depressing, no use of y/n
October 28, 2025. 6:54 am.
Hues of soft orange paint the skyline of Pittsburgh. Normally, Jack believes that sunrises are just alright. Though he still looks at them. However, on this day, for the past 7 years, he believes that the sunrises are painted just for him, by you. A memory that you are still here, that you haven't forgotten him.
“Pretty rude to kill yourself on my shift.” Robby ducks under the railing of the roof and stands next to Jack
“7 years.” Jack sighs, “Feels like much–much longer than that.”
“Y’working today?” The man asks.
“Yeah, m’gonna go visit her then come back, probably a double, js’need t’be distracted,” Jack replies.
“Brother… you shouldn't do that. You need to think about her and spend time with family. I know you're visiting her, but- fuck all you do is work.” Robby huffed.
“You think that just because I work, that doesn't mean I don't process, that my wife one day just dropped dead while working!? She was all the fucking family I had! I get help, I go to therapy, I’ve grieved, hell, I fucking grieve every single year this day comes along. I just want one day where I can breathe!” Jack exasperated.
Robby looks at Jack, but before he can get a good look at the dark circles and the look of a man who has been longing for someone for too long, the door slams shut. A confused Dr. Santos stands there.
“Uhm- Dr. Robby.. We’ve been um paging you downstairs theres an MVC on its way, and we need you downstairs-” Trinity starts backing up before Dr. Robby can even reply.
“O..kay uhm yeah be right down.” Robby ducks under the fence and starts to jog towards the stairwell door.
October 28, 2025. 8:37 am.
Jack can almost hear your voice running through your head as the door to your favorite bagel shop dings open. “You can take the girl out of Jersey, but not the Jersey out of the girl.” It smells the same way it always does. Burnt coffee, Bread, and cream cheese. As Jack briskly walks towards the counter to order, he sees you. Walking past him, your dad’s rugged Yankees cap and his black Carhartt jacket, both 6 feet under, buried with you. His face blanches, before he can call your name- your face dissolves, leaving a woman as the opposite of you that can exist.
Jack takes a deep breath before walking towards the counter. “Yeah, uhm.. Garlic bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.” Jack hands the man behind the counter the money before he can speak.
He doesn't waste any more time than he has to in the small shop. He doesn't look at the fridge full of Snapple, where you read him the fun fact on the inside of the cap.
January 1st, 2010. 11:18 am
“Okay,” You smile while reading the fun fact while taking a sip of strawberry kiwi tea. You hum at the taste. “Mosquitoes are attracted to people who just ate bananas.” You look up at Jack’s confused face. “D’you not believe me? Here, look.”
You hand him the cap. He reads it, and you see a look of surprise appear on his face, a smile forming on his face.
“Well, you must’ve just eaten a banana, and I'm a mosquito because I'm quite attracted to you.” Jack's attempt at being smooth fails miserably. You start to laugh uncontrollably.
“Oh-oh m-my-god! Jack, I love you, baby- but that HA- was so-so-so-sooo horrible.” You topple over onto the checkered flooring. Holding your stomach out of pain due to laughter.
“Wait… you love me?” Jack ignores the jab at his attempt at flirting and goes straight to your love confession. Though you’ve been dating for nearly 9 months, neither of you has said the L-word.
After you’ve collected yourself and are off the floor, you realize, “Yes, I do love you, very, very much.
“Good, because I love you too.” He proclaimed. When you smiled ear to ear, he knew he was gonna marry you.
October 28, 2025. 9:38 am
Jack sits down in front of you with a grunt, placing your favorite bouquet atop your grave.
He peers towards your headstone, your first name covered with moss; the only visible thing is the last name you share. ‘ABBOT’ written out in capital letters, right below it, ‘Some souls are too beautiful for this world & so they leave.’ ‘1980-2018’.
Jack unwraps the bagel. “ I also got you’re favoraite. Personally, I don't see why you like a garlic bagel, I'm more of a bacon egg & cheese man.” Jack sighs.
“I’ve started to go to therapy.”
“Every year, it only gets harder to keep going on without you. My therapist thinks I need to start cleaning out some of my things. I need to learn how to live without your presence,” He scoffs.
Haven't even moved your slippers from the side of your bed. He also says I need more hobbies.” Jack laughs, a grief-ridden one.
“Maybe golfing. I’ll figure it out. Robby is also worried about me. He thinks I shouldn't work today.” Jack takes a bite of the bagel, “But who is he to talk about shit like that? He worked on Adamson's death.” Jack looks towards the gravestone awating an answer.
“Yeah, I get it's different, mentor vs wife. But if I go home today, I'm not sure if I'll ever leave it. I really, really miss you.”
Jack plays with the wedding ring on his finger, “M’not sure how much longer I can go on without you.” A lump starts to form in his throat, “Everywhere I go… I-I see you, no matter if it's in Canada or fucking Japan, I see things in you, the fucking Snapple glasses, the sunrises we would watch together, when the leaves start to grow back during April, I hear your excitement for summer. God.. I still can't walk into the break room without wanting to punch a wall.” Tears start to run down his face.
After a few minutes of silence, Jack begins to sob; he hopes for the comfort he hasn't felt in years to come. He hopes, prays for you.
October 28th, 2018. 5:34 am
You stir awake to your muffled alarm; you can feel the vibration of the alarm rumbling softly through your head. To your left, Jack grumbles.
“Baby, forgot to tell you, Kiara’s sick, m’picking up her shift today.” You whisper.
As you attempt to get up from the bed, Jack pulls you back down by the waist, pushing his face into the crook of your neck.
“Thought you were working tonight.” He grumbles.
“Yeah, m’working a double, I owe Kiara for when we both got food poisoning.” You take in the moment before it's gone, the light of passing by cars softly illuminates the room, giving it an ethereal glow to the room. Jack's slow breath and stubble fan your neck as he leaves soft barley there, kissing along the line connecting to your collarbone.
“You have time, s’only 5:40.”
“Tomorrow we both have off again, right?” You try to remember the dates on the small whiteboard hanging from your fridge.
“Mm, planning on taking you to that steakhouse for dinner.” Your husband yawned.
You gasp, “The one that just opened was talking to Dana about that, apparently amazing.” You gushed.
“Reservation is for 8:15.”
After that, you and Jack lay there for another 20 minutes. For you and him, time moves
differently, moving at a mile a minute. By the time you realize it's 6:15, hes fast asleep.
As you slipped out of your shared bed, you decided not to wake him, but leave him with a kiss on the cheek.
Baby ❤️ left you a voicemail, 6:45 am
“You fell asleep before I could say bye, just wanted to tell you I love you, and I can’t wait for dinner tomorrow, but anywho, there's some leftover chicken and rice in the fridge, was gonna bring it for lunch, but, feeling a little nauseous, it's fine, sure it’ll go away. But just wanted to say I love you lots, and I’ll see you when you come in.” Softly in the background, your favorite song can be heard with the slow crunch of leaves beneath your sneakers.
October 28, 2025. 5:39 pm
“He wears a ring, y’know,” Trinity whispers to Dennis as Jack walks into the ED.
“So he’s married, he's like 45, that makes sense,” Dennis replies.
“But have you ever seen his wife before? Or husband,” Trinity scans her ID, “Like not once has he talked about being in a relationship, actually, he never talks about himself now that I think
about it.” Javadi walks up next to Trinity and Dennis.
“He's widowed,” The 2 look at her.
“You know this how…?” Dennis questioned
“My mom told me she used to work at this hospital as a social worker,” Javadi whispers.
Trinity gawed, “Do you know how she…y’know..”
“While on shift down here, she had like… a huge MI. No one saw her cause she was on break, she went into cardiac arrest, nobody got to her for a while.” Trinity frowns, Perlah comes up and whispers, “She had Coronary Artery Disease, barely had any symptoms. But today’s the anniversary, she was 38, he was 43, he was so in love, like she hung the stars.
“Shit..” Both Trinity and Dennis mutter.
October 28th, 2018. 7:02 am
You walk through the doors of the ER, and the waiting room is packed with people, the line only growing longer as seconds pass. “Morning, Lupe!” you smile.
“Gonna be a busy one today, Halloween coming up,” The woman behind the glass types away at the computer.
Once you walk through the doors, you punch in your code to your compact locker. Place your bag in and close the door.
As you walk over to the nurses' station, Dana peers over and sees you. “Morning, Dana, already starting?” You ask.
“Yeah, well, if I don't, this place will burn to the fucking ground.”
“Amen to that.” You laugh, “Night shift left a mess again?”
“Haunted car wash gone fucking wrong and an MVC kept them pretty busy.”
You whistle in response, “Well, heard were getting a new med-student today, right?”
“John Shen, MS3, I think, just missed him; last I saw, he was with Adamson.” Dana types away on the computer.
“Alright, well, better start working, gonna go find something to do to keep me busy.” While walking away from your spot at the nurses' station, pain accumulates in your lower back, and you hiss while walking by Robby.
“You sick too?” Robby peers over his glasses.
You huff, “No im fine, just tweaked my back, I think.” Robby smirks, “Ew, no, not like that.”
“Okay, Jesus.” He puts his hands up in surrender.
October 28th, 2018. 4:15 pm
The ED is never exactly slow; there is always some emergency, whether it is a critical patient or you can't seem to catch a break. Normally, you’re able to keep up with the speed. But today seems to be dragging, draining you faster than normal. Fatigue is setting in around 10 am when normally, it won't set in till the final hour. You tread over to the nurses' station, resting your head on the counter.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Dana looks up from her chair.
“What? Oh- yeah todays just dragging, think m’coming down with something.” You press your palms into your eye sockets.
“Kay, well, go eat something, take ur lunch ill come in and check on you in 10.” Dana picks up the phone.
As you walk away, you can hear Dana yell to- it doesn't matter, about.. Well, you also can't seem to pinpoint that. With the world slowly spinning, and tilting every which way as you turn the corner into the break room and slowly sit into the plastic chair. Slowly, it feels like your lungs are caving in on themselves, and with every breath, they slowly cave in more. Placing a hand over your chest, attempting to get up, or maybe calling for help. But the act of pushing yourself out of the chair seems impossible.
Dana doesn't see you walk away. Shes more focused on the person over the phone.
“Okay, 5 minutes yep.” Dana hangs up the red phone, “MVC 5 minutes out!” The woman yells out to the ER.
With the crash, Dana forgets that she was gonna go check in on you. More focused on helping Adamson. In the 20 minutes she was helping.
Not one person walked into the break room. The ED never stops for one person.
“Has anyone seen...” Someone calls out your name, but over the chaos of the ED, no one hears or replies. Whoever was looking for you gets pulled into something else, leaving their question for later.
October 28th, 2018 4:48 pm
“Dana! I need a social worker. Is the one on call down here?” A resident calls out.
“Shit, I totally forgot, I'll go grab her!” She answers
Dana slowly makes her way towards the break room. Once she makes the corner, she walks in, without looking,
“Breaks over, sweetie, you feeling better? You ever get to..” Dana finally looks up. You’re slumped in the vinyl chair, Jaw slack, head tilted slightly to the left. Dana takes in the image. Not sure if you're sleeping or if you’re dead. But once you don't take a breath in. Panic rushes through her body.
“SHIT, ROBBY! FUCK- ANYBODY, I NEED A CRASH CART AND A GURNEY IN HERE!” Dana screams.
The scream sends the ED into a quietness that is rarely-no never heard in the department. Ice settles into everyone's veins.
Robby sprints into the room. He freezes. Taking in the view. Lying down on the linoleum floor of the break room. Dana is right above you doing CPR.
“Holy- what the fuck happened?” A nurses run into the room, placing you onto the gurney. Dana is hopping onto the gurney with you to continue compressions.
“I- I dont know, she wasn't feeling good, and I told her to take 10, I was go-ing to go check on her but got distracted with the MVC.” They roll you into trauma 2, nurses and residents freeze as they realize who it is. “When I finally had the chance, she wasn't breathing.”
“Somebody call Jack!” Dana calls out.
Perlah sprints out of the room, and the sounds of panic outside can still be heard while walking away. Using her phone, she clicks his contact. On the 7th ring,
“Perlah..? Whats up, m’just leavin-”
“Jack, come in now, it's... bad, they're working on her now, but be quick,” Perlah says.
In the trauma room, they work on you.
“Holy shit..” A resident mumbles while looking over the EKG.
“What?” Robby asks, moving towards the resident. “Jesus,” He wipes his forehead. “Massive MI.”
Doctors and nurses work on your body.
“Pause compressions,” Princess calls out.
“Fuck. Push Epi.” Robby looks at the monitor. Dana swaps with Shen for compressions.
“Why aren't we shocking her?” Shen pants
“Its asystole, we can't shock asystole.” The man replies
October 28th, 2018 5:02 pm
Jack comes sprinting into the hospital. Immediately scanning for you, hoping they were joking. But as he scans the hospital, every nurse, doctor, paramedic, and security guard is staring at trauma 2. He sees Robby, now doing CPR on you. People bustling around you, moving equipment. IV bags hanging all around us. Anything to get your heart beating again. Jack drops his backpack in the middle of the hallway. In 2 long strides from the entrances to the trauma room, he enters.
“Brother, we don't know what happened. She wasn't feeling good, went to take a break, and Dana found her like this.” Jack stares at your body. Shaking slightly everytime Robbys arms pump up and down.
“Wh- she was fine this morning,” Jack stutters, moving towards the gurney, but before he can push Robby off so he can perform compressions himself, Dana moves into his vision. Tears streaked her flushed cheeks.
“Jack, step outside, you can't treat your own wife.”
“Fuck that, no, no im staying in here,” Jack pushes her slightly.
“Jack, get the fuck out. We’re all doing everything we can,” Robby yells at the man.
October 28th, 2018. 6:16 pm
“Fuck.” Robby takes off his gloves, “Time of death.” He pauses to look at the clock. “Six-Sixteen Pm”
The man walks out of the room, while the low hum of the monitor gets shut off. Around him, Tears streak nurses' and residents' faces. Outside the closed trauma room curtain, Jack sits on the floor. Unmoving, he stares at Robby.
“Jack…, im so- so fucking sorry. When we got to her, she was already in cardiac arrest. We don't know how long she was like that for.” Robby kneels in front of his friend, though he looks unfamiliar, grief aging him in the 1 hour it's been. “Shes dead, m’so sorry. We were doing compressions for over an hour. She wasn't getting any better. When we did an EKG, it showed she had a massive MI.” Jack looks up at Robby. Both men have tears streaming down their faces, silently crying.
“We had plans for tomorrow night, w-we were going to that new steakhouse.” Jack rambles on in denial.
“Dana comes out of the room your body is in. “Were gonna clean her up, get her to the viewing room. Once she's there, you can spend as much time as you’d like with her.”
October 28th, 2018. 11:19 pm
Once you’re placed in the viewing room, Jack sits there. Staring at your body. Holding your cold hand. Nurses, doctors, med students who never knew you, even Gloria came in to say goodbye. But after a while, it was just you and him. Jack can’t speak. Even if he tried, words won't form. Like it left with your final breath on this earth. He plays with your wedding band. Slowly sliding off, leaving just your engagement ring. Jack takes off his dog tags, putting the ring on one chain. Putting the other chain around your neck. The cold silver sends electricity down his neck.
Another hour goes by, and the viewing room is needed again. He needs to call your family and alert them of what has occurred in the last 7 hours. He’s not sure if he can say to your mother that she has outlived you.
When Jack stands up, still gripping your hand, he leans over, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips. The final one you will ever receive. Tears come down jacks face and slowly trickle down to yours.
“Oh.. my love,” He whispers only to you.
November 2nd, 2018. 12:03 pm
The pews of the church are full as Jack steps up to the podium, paper in hand. Wearing your favorite suit, tears freely streaming down his face. He takes a slow, deep breath, looking out into the sea of people, also mourning the loss of you. In the front row, your mother and father sit together, Robby and Dana sitting closer to the middle, between you and Jack's relatives. Jack unravels the paper, setting it in front of him, he says your name. “On new years day of 2010, after only dating for around 9 months, I knew I was gonna marry you. In the bagel shop of all places, I knew. I knew when you said that stupid fact from a Snapple, that with my whole heart, I loved- love you. When I first met her-you on her first day of work at the PTMC, I didn't believe love was in the cards for me. I thought I was unable to give or receive love. But she taught me I was wrong.” Jack falters for a minute, “I love her so that I thought this was just a nightmare, that when I woke up, I would see her-you. I'm not ready to live this life without you, without your laugh, smile, stupid jokes, and seeing your face when I wake up every morning. The absence of you is heavy, heavier than- anything I have or will carry ever again. 11 years with you isn't enough, I need 11 more at least. Greed is one of the seven deadly sins, but being dead means being with you. But I'm living for you. My never-ending love means you're still with me, seeing your favorite animal when I'm walking, smelling your perfume while I'm in the park. You haunt me, but may I be haunted by you till the day I die, till I take my final breath and get to see your face again.”
A/N: First time writing!!! I love sad endings to books or anything and I haven't seen a sad ending for a Pitt fan fiction so.. I decided to do it cause most fanfic writers write cause no one else has written it. Def will write again soon! if you guys have any requests send them in!
izzy806
origamiaround
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
