Wit Beyond Measure

Is man's greatest treasure. Ain't it the truth.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

But they wear pillowcases like they’re dresses. I mean - don’t they? I didn’t think they actually made them those weird little elf-sized sacks on purpose. Just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean I’m going to go out of my way to remind his girlfriend that I’m a better dude than he is. Until he actually does something to hurt you, and then he can sod off. No! Come on, Kitty, please. You’re the smartest witch in our year, I really need your help.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

It's a symbol, you lunkhead. The pillowcases are a symbol of them working for someone. Giving them clothes is pretty much saying to them, "you're not good enough to work for us anymore". Sigh, you've just made this train ride that much more boring. Oh well. Keep up with those lame half assed compliments, and you won't get a sentence worth of help from me.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

Isn’t giving them a better pillowcase still just giving them clothes? Merlin, elves are complicated. I should start asking more questions in Care of Magical Creatures. So that means I should flirt with you while he’s sleeping? I know I don’t like Jake, but that still seems kind of like a low blow.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

No, because it's a pillowcase. Do you think pillowcases are clothes? Do you really care if it's a low blow to the boyfriend I have that you don't like? Oh, I forgot, you're all puff and no hustle. I guess I won't be swayed into helping you with your homework, and you'll just be in trouble. Oh well, no skin off my nose.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

Maybe it’s the smart thing. My sister said someone in her year once tried to hex a Hufflepuff for messing up their potion in class. It doesn’t have to mean they’re fired! Couldn’t they just make a new contract with the staff so that they can have cool clothes and still work here? I maybe kind of fall asleep in History of Magic sometimes, but it’s not my fault that it’s really boring! I must have missed house elf day. I totally meant the compliments, Kitty - I just don’t give them to you very often because I don’t want your boyfriend to curse me. 

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

Sounds like one of ours. Maybe you could just respect the tradition that they cling to, and instead of making them clothes, which offend them and make them sad, just make them better pillowcases? Well, my boyfriend isn't awake right now.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

Wait, so are the Gryffindors the second nicest? Because their mascot is a lion, I thought they roared at people more than you guys. Are you serious? Then why have the girls been making them clothes all this time? That’s crazy, I bet they like it more than you thought. But my other friends aren’t as smart and awesome and uh… cool and pretty as you? Did I compliment you enough to make you want to help yet?

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

On the whole, yeah, Gryffindors are nicer than Ravenclaws. Ugh, their mascot has nothing to do with kindness, or a lack of it. Yes. Because to elves receiving clothes means that they're fired. Did you learn nothing from the lectures in Care of Magical creatures or History of Magic? Those were nice compliments, but, honestly, if you want me to believe any of that you don't end it by saying 'was that enough to get you to help me', because it makes a girl feel cheap, and like you didn't actually mean it and you just said it to get my help.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

I don’t know, Ravenclaws are like the second nicest house after Hufflepuffs. We have a ‘knit socks for the elves’ club, so I thought maybe you guys had your own house charity too. Like the ‘feed pouting Hufflepuffs when they’d sad and hungry’ club. Oi, I can’t ask Sam! We’re both dyslexic, think how jumbled up the words would be at the end of that copying.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

Gonna have to shut that idea down. We're the smartest, and we're also not the second nicest. We have some nice people, but am I one of them? No. And, honestly, I think the elves would just end up feeling sad and angry at the idea of being given socks. Only Dobby likes wearing clothes, the rest think it's just wrong. Damn, well, you can't copy my entire essay, that would just look bad. You have other friends, why can;t you ask them?

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

It’s not your problem, but you could be one of those awesome charity people who helps keep your classmates from starving. Crap! I knew I forgot something besides lunch. Wasn’t it just Cheering Charms, though? I was kind of good at those, I’m sure I could write something..uh, kind of fast. Unless you want to let me copy yours so that I’ll stop asking for food.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

Since when have I ever come across as charitable? As if the professor would believe that you'd have the same answers as me, you're better off asking Evans for that kind of help.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

I doubt hippogriffs taste very good. Blimey, you just don’t want anyone to have good food today, do you?

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

Is it my problem you don't have food and my grouchy boyfriend would totally kick your ass for waking him up. Did you remember to do that charms homework that was set at the end of last year?

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

Okay, but if my stomach rumbling wakes up your grouchy boyfriend, I’m pointing all the fingers at you.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

My grouchy boyfriend can suck a hippogriff if he tries anything with me, seeing as you being hungry isn't my problem or responsibility

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

Should I try a different one? I’ve got more. What about this beggar face? Is this one better? I’m going for “sad enough to feed.”

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

You cannot convince me to part with my food. It is mine and you have to suffer and watch me eat my delicious food.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

I know you’re not offering, but I thought I could convince you with my awesome begging. Come on, Kitty, how can you say no to this face?

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

You have failed at appealing to me, and I'm going to judge you forver for making that face.

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

[pufflelynn]

If the Hogwarts house elves can never run out of bacon, ever, then the cart lady can totally get extra cauldron cakes. If you’re so smart, what did you pack for lunch? I totally need to do a taste test to see if it’s actually better than cauldron cakes, because I think you’re bluffing here, Kitty.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

You think I'm offering my food to you? No way, it's totally your own fault that you have to wait until we get to Hogwarts to eat. 

[pufflelynn]

How does the food cart run out of Cauldron Cakes?

I count on those as my Hogwarts Express food every year! Now I don’t know what I’m supposed to have for lunch on the train. I can’t believe the little old lady who pushes the cart would betray me like this. What am I supposed to do now, take my chances with Every Flavor Beans? I just know my time to get the bogey flavored one is coming.

[ravenclawedkitty-blog]

Wow you really don't know how to prepare a lunch, do you, donkey teeth? It's been five years, seriously did you honestly think she would  never run out of the cauldron cakes? You're more deluded than I thought.