noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
we're not kids anymore.

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tumblr dot com
ojovivo
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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hello vonnie

oozey mess
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

izzy's playlists!
Misplaced Lens Cap
NASA

seen from United Kingdom

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@ravenfeathr
*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god
I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord
Do I want this? Yes. Do I need this? Also yes.
I love the idea that Psyduck is the only starter Pokémon in both Pokémon: Ibuprofen and Pokemon: Tylenol
the etymology of "piano" is so fucking dumb I love it. yeah this is my cool new harpsichord. it has more volume control than a standard harpsichord so we call it a "loudsoft" for short. or a "softloud" if you prefer. but that's still a bit of a mouthful so I've been thinking of just calling it a soft.
and the post begins
because otherwise it gets kind of visually confusing to parse, which is annoying to some folks, including me
GRANTED not everybody uses the same theme or even the same update. you might have noticed my version of tumblr is earlier than yours (I don't like the new button setup)
but still, it's just about being polite
so now you know
How dare you drop a full meal on us with pink lemonade Miacera and the tastiest Hawaiian pizza ever, IM STARVING
take a bite out of a girl! they won't mind
Please take a bite!
see girls want to be bitten they don't mind
Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers
happy pride to the gay people in my computer <3
Have a Monday Mourning for pride!
Thank you for reporting this weird ass porn ad ☺️ no, we will not stop showing it to you 🤗 in fact, it's going to be the only ad you see from now on 🥰 yeah, that photo you posted got flagged as mature content because it shows a woman's shoulder 😇
(source - timbougami on twitter)
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
#on tumblr thereso many 'if i were evil' ideas that aren't evil. and then there's this guy. 10/10 villainy. would scar an entire generation.#full villain approval
Look, Evil Emperor is a high bar. Empires are pretty evil by default so if you want to earn the title of Evil Emperor instead of Normal Emperor then you've really gotta put the work in. You can't just do normal greed and oppression and slavery and outright theft and then blame your victims for it, every empire does that, even the ones that pretend they aren't by calling the slavery and theft by some different name. If you wanna be an Evil Emperor then you have to get creative.
If I were an evil empress then I would execute people via an esoteric mind blast power where I'd lead them into a room and burn away their personalities and memories until they were an empty vessel and then send them home to their families, newly innocent and pardoned, where they'd have to be taught who they were and how to live from the ground up like a baby. (Or abandoned, I suppose, depending on the family.) Except I wouldn't actually have any such powers. I'd have a shapeshifting power that I'd use to turn my enemies into a piece of furniture and turn that piece of furniture into them, then send home a polymorphed candlestick or whatever for their family to dote on while my enemy goes on the table to hold candles for the rest of their 'life'.
Derin, respectfully, what the actual fuck.
People are always saying this to me
According to Andy Weir's Eridian biology document, Eridians are better multitaskers than humans will ever be, but the trade off is they're physically incapable of locking in. SO funny to me. Yes this species can build a diorama while simultaneously blitzing through mathematics equations and also partaking in intense gossiping, but they cannot do any of those things for longer than, like, half an hour without going crazy. Species of supercomputers cursed with the TikTok attention span.
Rocky mocks Grace when he says that Rocky is distracting him by starting complex conversations while he's Trying To Do Science. "Human brain have to stop activity just because talking question? Useless! One track mind!"
Then Grace is on hour six of his "trying to recreate skittles" hyperfocus and Rocky is like What The Fuck. Statement.
Yeah human brains can only do a single very consuming task at a time but it can do it for a very long time. The one track in our one track minds spans multiple countries. Persistence predators, babey.