I wake up to the smell of coffee. The cup, still warm, is waiting for me on my bedside. I smile at the thought of my mother leaving it for me.
I drink it, enojoying the bitter taste. I used to hate it, but now I don’t. I got used, and I love it, as I love the way it boosts my energy as I walk to the bathroom.
I see myself in the mirror. I’m wearing what used to be a tight t-shirt: now it is so big I use it as a pajamas, and it is so long it covers half of my thighs. My hair is a bit messy, but my skin is really clear. Even the circle under my eyes are not so dark today, thanks to the facemask I put on last night. I am pretty satisfied with how I look. Thinking about how I will get even better after doing my makeup makes me smile. I think about him, about how yesterday he told me I’m beautiful, and my smile widens.
After brushing my teeth, I take of y t-shirt and look t my body. I explore with my fingers the not-so-slight-anymore prominence of my ribs and hipbones. Then, after a deep breath, I step on that scale. I wait, looking straight in front of me, and then I look down. I lost another pound overnight! I’m a pound closer to my goal! I smile and go on with my morning routine. When I put on the clothes I prepared last night for today, I noticed my jeans are dirty. I’m pissed, but it just takes me 5 minutes to find another pair of jeans that look good with that t-shirt: now almost every outfit looks perfect on my body.
I get out for school, my backpack almost hurting me as it bounces against my prominent backbone.
The school hours pass easily. One of our teachers is ill, so we just have 3.
During class, I pass notes with my best friend, sitting next to me. When the teacher asks a question to a boy we hate and he answers wrong, we look at each other and giggle.
My crush, sitting behind me, throws pieces of paper at me to get my attention. I turn around and we smile at eachother.
When the bell rings, I walk with my friends out of school, headed to the train station: we’re going to the city for some shopping.
Before going, we have breakfast. I just get a black coffee, and the waiter smiles at me as he hands me the hot cup.
When we’re in the city, I try any clothes I want. Some look still weird on me, but I can laugh about it. I try on a XS size flannel, and it is so loose and long it makes me look like a small child. Pencil skirts aren’t really my thing either, my hips are too narrow. I get really pissed off in a store that doesn’t carry smaller sizes.
But as soon as I find a cute bodysuit and an A line skirt, I am honestly stunning. I look at myself in the mirror, thinking that my hard work paid off. I buy both the items with the money I didn’t spend in food, adding also a pair of cute thigh high socks.
Then, we stop at a library. I get 3 books, that look so big in my tiny hands. I turn the pages with fingers that are slender, not chubby, and when I can’t get to the top shelf because of how small I am, a cute, tall girl helps me. Our hands touch when she passes me the book. We exchange a smile.
Before coming back home, we have lunch. My friends get huge sandwiches and pizzas; I go for a vegan salad with no dressing. Then I allow myself a treat, a cup of coffee with some whipped cream and chocolate.
When we walk back to the station, the books in my backpack poke against my backbone. I honestly like to feel this pain. Tomorrow I will probably have another bruise.
After a light dinner with my mother, whose concerns about the size of my portion were cacelled by my smile, I get ready to go out for the night. When I’m in the bathroom in my underwear, I can’t resist: I step on the scale, even if my stomach is full.
I dropped 0.5 kgs. I smile and then I hurry: a night of fun is waiting for me.
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