DEAR YOUNG BRITISH PEOPLE
The EU referendum is on the 23rd JUNE and hereās some scary stats the BBC decided to throw at me this morning:Ā
ājust over a third of 18- to 24-year-olds intend to or are certain to vote, compared with well over two thirds of the over-75sāĀ mix that withĀ āthose under the age of 35 are roughly twice as likely to vote to stay in as those over the age of 55ā³
DO YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS HEADING? No? Then let me spell it out for you, Hamilton style:
We are outgunned
Outmanned
Outnumbered
Outplanned
We are gonna get ourselves kicked out of the EU if you donāt get your arse down to the polling station and VOTE for us to stay on the 23rd June.
So, here I am, doing my best to convince you to VOTE STAY.
I get it. Youāre apathetic. Politics is boring/corrupt/pointless, all the parties are the same, weāre screwed anyway etc etc. I FEEL YOU. Mate, do I feel you. But THIS referendum has NOTHING to do with political parties or alliances, even the muppets running this country are split. THIS is about the SINGLE QUESTION of if you want us to stay, or want us to leave.
And if you donāt vote for us to stay, then the older generation will most likely vote for us to leave.Ā
SO WHY ARE WE HAVING A REFERENDUM?
The EU has been going pretty great considering it was all one giant experiment, and itās been swimming along mostly A-OK for years, but thenā¦ the Tories got desperate. Last election, they promised a referendum to get some of the right-wing *cough*UKIP*cough* votes, so now, here we are, having a vote about the EU even though, WE HAVE NO FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THE EU.
BUT WHAT HAS THE EU EVER DONE FOR US?
Being a member of the EU means you can hop across borders as you please:Ā you can study abroad, live abroad, and go on holiday abroad within the EU with much less hassle than if we were outside it.Ā
But they are also responsible for a bunch of welfare laws that we take for granted:Ā
šššššššššš good shit goą±¦Ō sHitš thats ā some goodššshit rightššthereššš rightāthere āāif i do Ę½aŅÆ so my self šÆ i say so šÆ thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: Ź³į¶¦įµŹ°įµ įµŹ°įµŹ³įµ) mMMMMį·ŠšÆ šš šŠO0Šą¬ OOOOOŠą¬ ą¬ Ooooįµįµįµįµįµįµįµįµįµš šš š šÆ š š š š ššGood shit
But seriously hereās some other things that you might not have realisedĀ were thanks to the EU:
At the minute itās a great symbiotic system where we have plenty of freedom but also, plenty of support.Ā
SO WHY DO PEOPLE WANNA BREXIT?
Because it sounds like a breakfast cereal and Iām guessing theyāre hungry af. Admittedly, we have to pay a fee to be in the EU (butĀ relatively, this is minimal) and it can also mean more āred tapeā. But as far as I can tell these are all just very polite ways to say that the EU just have too much gosh darn ~power~ over us. URGH. First of all, this is not the British Empire, weāre allowed to have allies, and itās a good thing that we have other nations keeping us in check. (And with the Tories destroying the country, you might find yourself hoping that the EU did have more power to keep us in check). Secondly, weāre already a special snowflake in the EU, and they grant us PLENTY of leeway, so itās not as if theyāve got us by the tighty whiteys.Ā
The Leave campaign are scapegoating refugees as to why we need to leave the EU which would be hilarious if I didnāt live in the middle of nowhere surrounded by white middle-class racist UKIP voters that are goddamn licking it up. (Cornwall. Donāt even.) They are using the recent āmigrant crisisā to emphasise that as soon as someone becomes an EU member they can live anywhere in the EU, as in, all the EU countries that are nicer than we are and actually let people fleeing from their wartorn country stay, can therefore decide to move to the UK. But, yo, leaving the EU wonāt stop immigration. And even more hilariously, our borders are actually more likely to be weaker if we leave the EU than stronger.
Putting aside the fact that apparently millions of people in our nation donāt give a fuck about refugees that are in part OUR GODDAMN FAULT and certainly if youāre a human being OUR GODDAMN CONCERN, the Leave campaign are apparently forgetting about OUR IMMIGRANTS.Ā
2.2m British nationals that, if we leave the EU, are suddenly dumped into muddy water. Oh yeah, Leave campaign, I really see you caring about them.Ā
Iāve honestly never seen such hypocrisy in my life.Ā
OH, AND ITāS ECONOMIC SUICIDE
The Leave campaign cannot produce a single independent study to show that economically weād be better off leaving the EU.
jk itās because weāre NOT.
Our economy is now so tied to the EU that it would be a fucking MESS if we left. Itās 57% of our trade. Itās 1 in 10 of our jobs. It could take us a decade just to untangle ourselves. And, lord knows, weād never win Eurovision again.
On JUNE 23RD please vote to REMAIN IN THE EU. If you do nothing, itās likely weāre gonna be outvoted by hypocritical racist UKIP-wankers and get our country in an even worse financial state.
The reason I am here BEGGING my 12 followers and 200 spambots to VOTE TO STAY is because the last time there was a referendum, I was a naive little undergrad, and I thought āthis option is so obviously better, everyoneās going to vote for itā and HAHAHAHAHA DID THAT NOT HAPPEN. You may think you donāt need to vote, but YOU DO.Ā
Governments are only as smart as the people informing them.
We need to give our idiotic government as close to an actual representation of our countryās opinion. That means we need to get our turnout percentage up to AT LEAST two-thirds like the over 75s so that the result of the referendum is an actual reflection of opinion.
That doesnāt happen if you donāt vote.Ā
So please, check you are registered to vote RIGHT NOW. And on June 23rd, VOTE TO STAY.
stormborns
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
snowghoul
germansingergirl
titsay
areudirty
