This Is A Vent Acc

Tw// don’t report just block I need somewhere to do this

[razerbladesandangeltears]

Daydreaming about dying

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I feel so disgusted with how I look I want to be sick

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I genuinely think that the amount I care is a curse

[razerbladesandangeltears]

How will I ever be cared for how I need to if I’m to scared to express my needs to begin with and then through that train of thought renforce the belief that my needs aren’t worth other peoples time

[razerbladesandangeltears]

God I just feel so awful and I want help but I’m so scared of being a burden the few times I do try and ask I immediately take it back if the person seems even slightly out out or annoyed or busy and then I just suffer feeling unwanted and uncared for

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I just want someone to keep reassuring me that I’m not being annoying and needy when I ask for help cause if not I just say that I’m fine and it’s a constant battle between wanting to ask for help and then feeling selfish and high maintenance when I do ask so I end up retracting because in my mind if someone is doing something why on earth should I take up their time just because I feel like shit

[razerbladesandangeltears]

God I just feel so awful and I want help but I’m so scared of being a burden the few times I do try and ask I immediately take it back if the person seems even slightly out out or annoyed or busy and then I just suffer feeling unwanted and uncared for

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I’m in pain I really hope I don’t wake up tomorrow but I can’t bring myself to actively do anything because of guilt I dunno maybe that won’t last long who knows I relapsed I was feeling so many things and old wounds were torn open but it’s whatever I didn’t cut deep I’m fine it’s all fine I definitely don’t feel like crying over something trivial

[razerbladesandangeltears]

It’s the second day in a row I couldn’t take my meds, I don’t think I’ve ever been good enough I don’t think I’ve ever tried hard enough I feel like I failure and if I tell anyone about it all I’m doing it’s manipulating them and fishing for compliments

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I’m not even close to stable and I don’t even care anymore I’m wild that’s what I am I’m no longer a domesticated person I’m like a wild animal I’m eternally on edge and twitching

[elysee-schap]

Kirsten Dunst x Sofia Coppola

[razerbladesandangeltears]

Some days I feel so totally and completely alone in this world like no one really sees I exist

[swanyneptune-deactivated2023032]

How my January was:

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I want to carve and never wake up

[razerbladesandangeltears]

Everything is all messed up why do the people I love have to destroy themselves the only way I can cope is to destroy myself more so if I survive they can too and if I don’t then I’ll be dead first

[razerbladesandangeltears]

Why does it always feel like I fail the people I love I’m losing to it all

[razerbladesandangeltears]

What a cruel joke

[razerbladesandangeltears]

I’m rotting I live in an infestation death is close