Note(s) to Self @rcarzo - Tumblr Blog

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

We all get to choose our life stories. It’s our choices that define us, not our gifts. You can only be proud of your choices. You either choose a life of “ease and comfort”, or of “service and adventure”, and when you’re 80, you’ll be more proud of the latter.

Jeff Bezos

MMM

My Main Muses:

Chefs and architects.

My life’s work is to celebrate and empower them -- and to live vicariously through their pursuits.

I’m just a middle-class kid trying to make sure I don’t have B players on my team. I can’t afford to be gentle and nice.

Steve Jobs

I think reading and internalizing 10 great books a year is more than sufficient. If you have the luxury of time you can read more, but I think too many subconsciously use reading as an excuse not to act. Get out and apply what you learn. Do something with your life.

— Ian Cassel (@iancassel)

December 3, 2017

Lifelong Learner

From Carol Dweck’s “growth mindset”:

“What on earth would make someone a non-learner? Everyone is born with an intense drive to learn. Infants stretch their skills daily. Not just ordinary skills, but the most difficult tasks of a lifetime, like learning to walk and talk. They never decide it’s too hard or not worth the effort. Babies don’t worry about making mistakes or humiliating themselves. They walk, they fall, they get up. They just barge forward. What could put an end to this exuberant learning? The fixed mindset. As soon as children become able to evaluate themselves, some of them become afraid of challenges. They become afraid of not being smart. I have studied thousands of people from preschoolers on, and it’s breathtaking how many reject an opportunity to learn.”

The Cautionary Tale of Could Be

Young people praised for their potential.

Startups valued at what they could be.

Venture capital being evaluated on a 10-year time horizon.

Ironic how we live in a world that is more analytical and data-driven than ever, but most people avoid operating within that framework for their own actions.

You “could be” a massive business in 10 years. Are you anywhere close to a business today?

If everybody rates themselves on what they could be, is there any way to fail?

Constantly getting by on hope, never facing reality...but eventually the music stops. Then what? Could be shifts to could’ve been.

From raised to lowered

Thinking a lot about elder care.

As they get older, what do parents do to stay sharp?

Their role in parenting diminishes. Does it have to? Seems that many stop being a student (long before they stop being a parent).

As parents, they were supposed to have all the answers for their kids. They couldn’t be learning; they had to know.

Though the explicit role of parent - as protector and provider - diminishes, they still have lessons from their life and others they can learn from ours. That requires somewhat of a paradigm shift...which is think we might be on the precipice of.

That world today is totally different than it was 20 years ago.

The other day my mom sent me a text message to remind me to wear gloves. On one hand, it showed that she is thinking about minute details. On the other hand, it was a pretty low-value directive. That’s not *really* a helpful insight. Does she no longer any of those to share? Is that her job anymore? Do I get them on my own? And, most important of all, does her purpose / value in the world go away 2/3 of the way through her life? How does she live out the next 30 years in a way that’s 1.01 every day instead of 0.99?

Does the role of parent shift when we have most of what we need in abundance? We don’t need them to shuttle us; just call an Uber. They don’t *need* to cook every night; buy prepared meals. To check my math homework, my dad would (I’m pretty sure) quickly teach himself while I took a shower. Kids today can connect via video chat with a math teacher who moonlights as a tutor.

Again, there’s two parts to this:

1) What is the role of a parent today? Are they more of a partner in crime than a provider in chief?

2) How do we ensure that older people find meaning, purpose in joy in life after their time raising children and completing a job are done? They shouldn’t casually wind themselves down to death (sounds harsh), but squeeze the most out of life that they possible can.

Days turn into decades

People reflect on decades, they don’t reflect enough on days. Then a decade ends...what happened?

Reminded of that by this Instagram post. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bbejkj5lI_G/

What defined your twenties? What will define your thirties?

Unless we’re deliberate about our time (our story), days turn into decades without us ever using the potential energy stored within us.

Arduous, Arborist

Whether or not one admires a tree, there comes a time when they appreciate one — either explicitly for the shade it provides, or implicitly for the carbon sequestration it carries out (helping to capture some of the carbon dioxide that, if not captured, leads to a warmer planet.)

Trees are a long-lasting, prominent entity that are built over decades (if not centuries).

A similar analogy can be used in reference to building construction, especially skyscrapers. That is, a building’s stability is determined by the proper placement of its foundational pillars.)

Whether a skyscraper or a tree, building the foundation requires going underground and getting in the dirt. Removing yourself from the light and getting your hands dirty / doing things that aren’t glamorous. .

Much easier would be to build branches / leaves, i.e. to put the decorative effects on a building, literally and figuratively, the window dressing. Leave(s) is such a fitting word, because that is exactly what they do in a short matter of time – go away. The roots, however, remain for many, many years and are what legacy are built on.

Do you want to be known or do you want to be remembered?

If you’re always poking your head above the surface, or toiling atop the soil at all times so that you’re both in the know and among those known, it’s going be very difficult to do the work necessary to build roots. And roots, of course, are the foundation of a tall, prominent, long-lasting tree (generational wealth).

So, I think there’s two components:

1) Away form the spotlight

2) Things others don’t want to do (e.g. waking up early, being a long-term investor, entering a non-glamourous-but-profitable industry, vs. an industry that, by virtue of its glamour, is hyper-competitive with little room for profit)

Just doing the former isn’t likely to produce the intended results, but being caught up in the trends / popular culture can make it more difficult to do things that aren’t popular.

Stay focused on the things that don’t change.

Build a small giant.

“We Practiced This”

I believe

When your sister becomes a world champion... (via @Aric_vh) pic.twitter.com/mtmEdCSpyE

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) August 11, 2017

From Cradle to the Grave After Effects

Wondering what the second-order implications are of so many young people in jobs / companies today that are focused on optimizing for engagement (clicks, downloads, MAUs, “GROWTH”).

A reoccurring theme (for me), maybe most appropriate here: Scale eats the soul.

Yes, there have always been people in companies focused on the numbers, optimizing internal resources and strategy to exceed them. Now it’s pervasive. Everyone is optimizing -- or “they” are a robot.

For many (myself included), it started in school... That is — do what you need to do to get the right numbers. Pass all the tests. Check all the boxes. Gain everyone’s approval.

Where does it stop?

Even though there is a wider array of opportunities available today to more people than ever before, do we put people through narrower funnels to produce the perfect result.

Is the path on the right the one people take? A lot of options early on, narrowing the focus as they grow...but does that lead to imbalance? The left feels more natural and self-directed.

Hollow Hoarding

My perspective comes from living in large metropolitan cities where everyone is rushed, busy, and tired. So maybe it’s relativity bias, but it seems like more and more people are getting their calories from coffee shops. More specifically, from coffee and pastries — or a mostly-bread and/or fake-egg sandwich. And the coffee isn’t just coffee. In fact, in a lot of cases is less coffee, not more. What it is — again, in many cases, based on my observation — is a coffee-flavored, milk-based drink.

Where is the substance?

Are people recieving the proper nutrition form these meals?

How are they energized for the day?

IMO, coffee is the new cigarette — addicting, cheap, quick to consume, and satiating mentally, not metabolically.

What people feel when they consume this stuff is is a high. The recipe of sleeping less and drinking more (dehydrating, calorie sparse options) can’t be one that’s sustainable long-term.

Maybe it’s my fault

Of maybe you’re just making excuses.

One of my favorite ads of all time, worth revisiting every so often.

Money in the middle?

Apple sells watches, phones, computers, TVs, home speakers, headphones... What will they sell next? Glasses? They’re taking over the consumer electronics space. And they're at the high end.

At the low end is Amazon.

While Apple builds and markets highly differentiated products on the basis of brand, design and experience, Amazon continues to strop away differentiation -- and the margin that accompanies it -- to sell commodities at the cheapest price possible. Apple makes its money on the sale of products, Amazon makes theirs on subscriptions (AWS, Prime).

This is really oversimplified -- and probably exaggerated -- but what I’m wondering is if three’’s any other competitor outside of Amazon and Apple. Does the middle getting washed out?

For example, can a brand like Warby Parker survive if Amazon sells comparable looking glasses for $45 each and/or Apple sells a pair of $300 glasses with interchangeable frames that provide information, entertainment, and communication value? Who would buy from Warby Parker?

Yin & Yang

Reoccurring theme over the last few days...

How do you get stronger? Add more weight.

Life will inevitably bring difficulty, despair and challenges to everyone. Those events are the “weight” that gets added to make us stronger. Those experiences cause us to (re)find internal strength and drive. (Again, this goes back to why I love working out.) In total, its the balance of the good and the bad that makes us who we are.

Balance -- yin and yang.

Every time I go home I’m reminded of the finality -- and frailty -- and beauty -- of life. My parents are getting older, my relatives are passing away. Unfortunately, the good times of having them around doesn’t last forever. The good is eventually balanced by bad -- so much good for so many years that the weight of the bad event is especially heavy.

Celebrities are attractive and rich, and they get access to the most luxurious and lavish places on earth. It seems like “everything goes right” for them / they have everything one could want in life.

Do they?

Maybe they struggle with maintaining friendships. They might never write the novel that comes to define a generation, or a invent a new drug. Their good looks and sculpted body might be far superior, but do they have a work ethic that’s as strong, or a heart that cares for others, or a willingness to endure the long hours inside a kitchen to create the world’s best restaurant. Probably not. And maybe the line cooks in the kitchen want nothing more than to be famous, I don’t know.

The point is everybody has to deal with bad things in life. Some are objectively bad, like losing a parent. Others differ based on the individual. I think if we realize and accept this sooner -- that is, that life isn’t great across the board -- we can arrange the pieces in the game to our benefit.

For example, maybe you want a sexy car? That will require doing something that’s unsexy, whether that’s learning something difficult, working long hours or in a job that’s not glamorous, or saving and not spending. What do you want?

It’s irrational to try and become an entrepreneur, so if that’s what you want you should probably balance it with rational decisions around where to live and what to spend money on. You can’t have a fancy wardrobe will also trying to bootstrap a business. But if you make that business a success you can likely buy new clothes for yourself and your significant other without my thought.

Jamie Foxx talked about this on the Aubrey Marcus Podcast. He said that if something goes well in life he know’s something less welcoming will come about to keep him on balance. Or, oppositely, if he’s struggling, that if he just keeps at it things will turn around. Well worth a listen -- Jamie Foxx is an incredible storyteller.

Any interview w/ @iamjamiefoxx is a must listen — master storyteller. https://t.co/aTEwIWKvo3

— Rocco Carzo (@rcarzo) June 24, 2017

All that’s inside

When asked how he created his masterpiece, “David”, from a giant, nondescript slab of marble, Michelangelo said the beauty was on the inside the whole time, he just needed to cut away the crap first.

That's just like people. We have such strong shields built up to protect us, or layers of sh*t from others (who act out of fear) that we allow to stick, but theres so much genuine beauty on the inside. So I guess the point is: to become your own “masterpiece”, cut away all the crap.

Heard that anecdote on this podcast.

I've become a really big fan of Jesse Itzler and would highly recommend following him online.

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