A midnight walk. (A tbatb fanfic platonic Tristan + Aziza)
(be warned idk when this would take place but somewhere after the first book probably)
I’m spectating the past, I can’t do anything or even talk. I’m frozen as my mother’s voice rings out in the room.
“Aziza? Aziza, Habibti? Can you say Mama?” Leila tells my baby self, she adjusts how i sit in her lap, then gets up from the couch because of a knock at the door, to unlock the door for Jiddo, holding me in her arms, she gives me over to Jiddo, and smiles, but something’s wrong, her face melts into the skeleton i saw when Tristan resurrected her. “Tell Baba” she rasps over and over, her voice replaying the words she tried to tell me before we sent her back to her grave.
I try to scream, try to fight my way out of this reoccurring dream.
I gasp like i was out of air as i sit up, the panic not quite leaving me until my phone on my nightstand lights up, i reach for it and turn it on, a text from Tristan.
“Aziza? You alright?” He asks.
“I’m fine.” I reply
“You don’t feel fine.” He texts, “You feel like you got stabbed in the stomach”
I take some time starring at those words, no idea how to reply
“I don’t feel any pain, nor is there a knife sticking out of my stomach right now.” I text back.
“Then what did happen? It’s, like, two am, you should be asleep right now.”
“Well, i will be! After some chamomile tea.”
“Camomile tea isnt the answer, i can feel it already.” He says.
Honestly, he’s kind of right. That should be expected though, he knows insomnia better then anyone probably.
“Then what is Tristan?” I ask
“A walk maybe?” He suggests
“Nah, its fine, ill just make some tea and try to go back to sleep”
“Finish your tea, and I’ll send Lucky once your ready.” Tristan says.
It appears i don’t have much of a choice here. But to amuse myself i make a cup of chamomile tea(to sweeten it i add honey) and while it cools i put on a hoodie and arrange my hair into a sloppy braid. As I’m finishing up my tea, Lucky shadow-travels into my room.
Silently, i walk down the stairs and out of the door, carefully so i don’t wake Jido up from his sleep.
I breathe the fresh night air greedily as i follow Lucky to the destination that Tristan set out for me, it leads back to st. Sitheny’s park, the place where me and Leo met. I spot tristan almost immediately next to a bench.
“i was wondering when you’d get here.” He sighs and we begin walking.
“Leo isn’t here because he’s sleeping, and because if I woke him, he’d probably pass out at what i would admit to you right now, even though he needs to hear it too” Tristan Explains.
“Ah, so your saving Leo a migraine, i see” i say.
we walk through the park with little to no conversation. Which is nice, but why would he drag me out at three am just for a walk?
“So why’d you drag me out here?” I asked
“I thought you could use some fresh air, and someone to talk to.” He answered
“You could too.” I replied.
To that, he stares at me as in “seriously?” I shrug in return.
“I’m not wrong though, am I?” I continue.
“I guess everyone could use someone to talk to.” Tristan mutters.
“And that’s why we’re here, to take this weight off of our shoulders.” I returned. “You go first.”
“Oh really?” He snorts in surprise.
“Yeah, it was your idea to go on a walk anyways, so your starting.”
“What do i even have to spill?” He rolls his eyes.
“Well for starters, Why’d you even agree to work for the hag in the first place?” I asked.
Tristan pauses for a while, contemplating whether or not to trust me, after a while he tells me.
“Leo.” He admitted. “I did it for Leo. I needed to break his curse and she said that she could do it.”
I nod, encouraging him to continue. I’m surprised that he’s even entrusting me with his worries and fears in the first place. I realize that Tristan is kind of like me in a way. Both of us find it hard to open up and both of us are guarding ourselves against letting our feelings out and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. We both hate feeling weak and Useless.
“I knew Leo since we were eleven. He was shitty at art, i wasn’t. Throughout our friendship, i drew alot of things for him, flowers, himself, cute doodles of things he loved. Then, when we were fourteen, he kissed me over homework. Since that day, we were inseparable. Until the curse hit him. When that happened. I left his life silently. I went to the hag, believing that she’d help somehow.” Tristan looked at the scars healing on his hand. Most of them were invisible but some still stayed. He let himself take a breath and closed his eyes for a while.
“You don’t have to continue..” i murmured.
Tristan relaxed, exhaling a breath. “Your turn now.”
“Alright.” I breathed “Well, guess who showed up today.”
Tristans eyes go wide, but mimicking me, he nods for me to continue.
I take a moment to gather my words before speaking, Jiddo always told me to think before speaking, i almost never take that advice. Thats the first time i find myself taking it now.
“She showed up in my dreams again. I cant unsee her skeleton telling me to tell Jido something.” I whispered. “I accepted their deaths, it didn’t matter too much, i kept the rare story Jiddo would tell me about them close to me, like faerie tokens, memorizing every bit of them, every bit of detail in them, like how my mother used to whistle back to the robins every day and how my father was scared to hold me at first, but when he got the hang of it, he almost never wanted to put me down. But now, i don’t know how to feel, don’t know how to feel whenever i see my mother’s picture somewhere in my house. I know she wouldn’t want me sad, but i just feel so much guilt. All i wanted were some answers. I’d wanted to help them so much so, i didn’t feel that i probably hurt them.”
Letting all that out made me feel lighter, alot. Tristan was right when he said venting could be the answer.
“I’m sure Leila loved that she saw you again.” Tristan said. “The second she saw you she started towards you like she couldn’t believe her eyes. Aziza, your dearer to her than you think. Even though she’s down in the ground now, she would be 100% happy that she help you avenge her and take down the hag.”
i sigh. “All i wish is that she’s not mad at me.”
“She’s not. I promise.” Tristan replies.
The two of us take a couple turns around the park, Tristan takes out his phone, he scrolls through his photos app, occasionally smiling at different photos.
“what are you smiling at?” I ask, purely out of curiosity.
“You know, i was also Hazel’s friend too right?” He replied “well, when she was a kid i’d do her hair before school.”
He shows the picture currently on his phone, a eight year old Hazel on the first day of school, Her hair was expertly braided into two pigtails, she wore a polio shirt and a skirt that reached to before he ankles above white tights. Tristan swiped and the next selfie showed the three of them, A young Tristan and Leo with Hazel.
“Awe, Hazel was so cute back then.” I smiled.
“Don’t let her cuteness fool you, that girl made me lose most of my Halloween Candy a year later.” Tristan Laughed— which was more like a happy sigh i guess, he barely full - on laughs, usually it’s when Leo does something so stupid we all laugh, that he does.
“Who did her hair? Her braids are so pretty?” I asked
“Actually i did.” He admits
“yes way, i used to do her. Hair before school, hours early.” Tristan said
“Well, looking at my braid, you’re an Expert at this.” I reply.
“yours is a little…uhh- Chopped.” He acknowledged.
i flip it behind my back, “i know.” I sighed “it’s almost four am!”
“Want some coffee?” He asked
Half an hour Later, We were in our usual cafe. I had my usual Caramel Macchiato and Tristan had his Matcha, and we got Leo’s favourite for him too. Tristan walked me home and i immediately fell onto my bed and slept.
I woke up to a dozen messages from Leo in the group chat, the first of all of them a voice note of Leo complaining about the impromptu coffee run without him, then a picture of his drained coffee cup.
I reply with a smile emoji and a .5 of Lucky.
so Here it is, the Fanfic i spent days writing, Hope you enjoyed it!! (Sorry about the grammar mistakes the editing was VERRY Hasted)
(@welpthatstoobad i especially hope you enjoyed this more then the others!!)
