Liebes Tagebuch,

"Sei wild und frech und wunderbar."

[dumbgay]

i may be a terrible person but at least i say please and thank you and use my fucking blinker

[verbautezukunft]

“Even if we’re married for 23 years, I still want you to flirt with me.”

— A novel written by me (via liebeficktunsalle)

[fuck-yourself-daily-deactivated]

Fill her heart with love and her pussy with cum.

[phatwitchpussy-deactivated20180]

how amazing would it be to go travelling with the love of your life and fuck every night

[weyounpussyindulgence-deactivat]

Thank you Cosmopolitan for giving us this.

Sincerely

A bi girl who has gone through shit like this

[bireminders]

September is Bi Visibility month so shoutout to all my bisexual pals out there! I love you, you are amazing 💗

[stillesgeschrei]

“You can’t keep dancing with the devil and ask why you’re still in hell”

— Something my friend told me the other day (via creatingaquietmind)

[thealpacalypse-archive]

i don’t think anyone outside of Germany understands how scarring it is to hear the words “Fresh Dumbledore”. you do not know that there’s a whole generation of Germans out there who get thrown back in time upon hearing those words… war flashbacks of “wer zum Teufel ist Amanda”, “Voldemort hat einen Stein nach mir geworfen”, “SCHINKEN!” and “Ich bin alt, ich bin bald tot, aus grün mach rot. Klatsch!”… those and so many other quotes still haunt me.

you do not know that there’s a whole parallel universe in Germany where Hermione is a lesbian, Dumbledore is a gangster rapper, Gilderoy Lockhard is a porn star and everything is 100% obscene. that everyone quoted these dubs for months. that there were actual albums of Fresh Dumbledore out there that you could listen to. That there was also an album of Snape’s black metal band. Even Warner Brothers got wind of it and threatened to sue.

one woman in Germany redefined Harry Potter for countless people for years, and none of you even know.

the memory of it is burnt into my brain and I cannot escape. 

[neckkiss]

Simple Simon (2010)

[deerinspotlight]

I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company. Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

[squeakykins]

I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.

[blome3kissesbitch]

I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities

[blome3kissesbitch]

P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them

[naamahdarling]

Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy. Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them.  I just don’t need to blink very often!

Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful.  They aren’t!  They just AREN’T DOGS.

[radfemblack]

Pour les chats 🐈💞

[schwierigephase]

“In manchen Situationen reagieren wir einfach über, weil wir nicht wissen, wie wir damit umgehen sollen.”

— (via vollkommen-allein)

[schwierigephase]

“I go to sleep every night thinking of you.”

— T.W. (via the-perfect-aesthetic)

[flugzeugmodus]

“Ich brauch keinen IQ wie Einstein um zu merken das ihr Fotzen alle gleich seid.”

[deutschesprucheblog]

[deutschesprucheblog]

[deutschesprucheblog]

[deutschesprucheblog]