Afraid
I’m afraid of the dark.
It’s pretty common, until your my age.
And trust me, I’ve tried every fucking possible way to get over it other than god damn therapy but I just can’t do it.
Yes aunt Helen I’ve tried walking in the dark with a knife but I do not understand how that will keep me from not being able to fucking see something coming at me.
Yes cousin bob I’ve taken self defense but I don’t understand how that will help when a demon in the woods is trying to posses me,
yes dad I understand the dog will alert me if anything is there.
Yes dad I understand it’s childish.
Yes dad I understand it’s irrational.
Yes dad I understand that bad things happen during daylight too.
Yes dad I understand we aren’t in the city so there is like .03% chance of anything happening to me.
Yes dad I understand if anything does happen you’ll hear me.
Yes dad I understand you have a gun.
Yes literally every one else I UNDER FUCKING STAND THAT NO ONE WILL BE THER WHEN IM 35 TO CUT A DAMN LIGHT ON FOR ME.
Do you not think I fucking know this.
Do you not think I don’t put myself down everytime I have to run out of the room and down the hallway hyperventilating.
None of your dumb ass reasons, remedies, or put downs will fucking help the issue you dusty, ham smelling, fuckass.
Bc I don’t think you understand how childish I feel when I have to turn on a nightlight just to fucking sleep.
Or how shitty I feel when I have to get someone to turn on a light in the closet for me.
Or how angry I am at myself when I want something out of the car and I have to force someone to come with me.
OR WHEN I LITERALLY HAVE A HEAD SPLITTING MIGRAINE AND CANT TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHTS WITH OUT HAVING AN ANNOYING ASS PANIC ATTACK.
So forcing me to go into the dark unwillingly knowing I am afraid of the dark or making fun of me for it, will no doubt make me forever resent you.
And turning off the lights when I'm in a room as a 'joke' will make me hate you and make me put bear traps in your bed because it's not nice to be a rude little fuck.
