Fox

[reallycrispyfox]

I'll always be the monster in your story. But you'll never know how much you destroyed me and I still gave you the world

[reallycrispyfox]

I'm such a deep lover. It doesn't matter what you do to me I'll still always love you

[reallycrispyfox]

"I hate drama" says the person actively hanging out with the drama people and people that hate me. Why keep me around if I'm just some sick amusement for you

[reallycrispyfox]

It seems like you only miss me for my services. You demand for me to do things for you that I used to do our of the kindness of my heart. Now they're just orders being barked at me. Of course I don't mind doing these deeds and acts but I don't like the delivery. I'm such an anxious mess around you right now. I'm nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing and upsetting you. I feel like I'm the one walking on glass now

[reallycrispyfox]

When I thought I would crush my fears and conquer them. They've proven to be too much to handle

[reallycrispyfox]

On days I don't want to be alone the universe really challenges me to be alone. I hate it

[reallycrispyfox]

You’re something right out of my dreams. Literally too perfect to be real but yet you sit in front of me and kiss my lips and your touch is so real. Our bond is so real. I am so enchanted by you my dear. From the day we first met I fell so hard for you. Every time you came up on my suggested friends feed I would look at your profile and have to stop myself from randomly adding you cause i was simping so hard. The more we talk, the more we interact the more and more I fall for you. The further into this warm ocean of comfort and happiness. I’ve never felt so at ease with anyone in my life. You’re eyes are so stunning they just make my heart skip beats and its like the first time falling for you all over again. All of your silly little voices, your handsome smile, your perfectly chistled body. You have a subuwu and a espresso machine. You dressing up is just the cherry on top. We have such similar views and i am so excited to learn more about you my dear and more about us. You have captured not only my heart but my soul too. I genuinely feel bound to you

[reallycrispyfox]

Fuck you to the person who invited me out tonight and didn’t show up

[reallycrispyfox]

People dont realize that mental illnesses cause sick days too. They’re just the same as a regular sick day. Comfort food, gatorade, blankets, and hot showers. I always feel so guilty for taking days like this off. But when your head is screaming at you and just pounding with pain from all of the nonstop chatter in your mind. Its much needed. I know some people will never understand the need for mental days. But they are very much so needed 

[reallycrispyfox]

This time there's damage my head feels like it's split and now there's a red line going down my forehead

[reallycrispyfox]

When you psychiatrist tells you if you get worse go to the er... that’s a real confidence boost 

[reallycrispyfox]

What do you do when the last thing keeping you stable and sane gets ripped away from you?

[funeralfanatsies]

How You Know it’s Getting Bad Again

- I get angry over EVERYTHING. No matter how small or “not a big deal” something is, I will blow up and act like it’s the biggest thing in the world.

- I stop responding to messages.

- I will stare off into space for a long period of time and not seem mentally there.

- I will stop smiling and laughing as often.

- I tend to be really emotional and cry over the smallest things.

- I will sleep a lot.

- I will forget to eat or not have an appetite at all.

- I will stop showering as often as I use to and wear the same clothes over and over again.

- I won’t wear makeup like I use to everyday and I won’t care what I physically look like in public anymore.

- I won’t do the things that use to make me happy aka reading, writing, playing video games, socializing with friends, etc.

- I won’t have any energy to do school work even though I really need to do it.

- I become really quiet

I’m sorry, I try to be okay but sometimes it takes over and I can’t help but let it take control once again.

[reallycrispyfox]

What do you do, when you feel like you have nothing? The one thing that kept you going is now wrecked and out of your hands. Your love life is a disaster and you constantly scare partners away. Friends keep you at arms distance cause they know how bad your depression lies. I just dont know how to keep going when every reason i keep trying for ends up failing or getting ruined

[reallycrispyfox]

I'm already so cold, putting me into a room like that. You want me to get sick and die don't you. If i get sick I can't pay my bills and you can kick me out. Is that your game plan?

[reallycrispyfox]

I would give myself to you. In any way you want. Just to know that i am yours and no one elses and that i can touch you. Oh hun thats just what i want

[reallycrispyfox]

I hate the rush of jealousy i get when the thought of you trying to impress someone else gets into my head. or the thought of you truly not loving anymore. I start to burn with this emotion that just is so uncomfortable. I just want to hold you and love you again