i want to get my shit together so badly
i also want to just give up
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
DEAR READER
Claire Keane

Kiana Khansmith
dirt enthusiast
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

izzy's playlists!
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noise dept.

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occasionally subtle
Show & Tell
sheepfilms
Mike Driver
almost home
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@realnotreal-lessreal
i want to get my shit together so badly
i also want to just give up
Impulses: cut them off completely. Quit your job. Push them away. Declare emotional independence. No longer need them. Don’t talk to them. Find someone new. Stuff all of the feels inside a deep deep well and don’t get them back out again. Think mean, untrue and hurtful thoughts about them. Be angry. Don’t let it go. Feast on your anger whenever you feel the desire to need them. Whatever you do DO NOT need them. Change your needs. Remove the railroad tracks. Alter course. Come on, I know they were 100% Jesus before but you gotta make them 0% now okay. Split split split.
I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all.
sometimes I get a little sad by the fact that I'm fucking insane
Me: crying and feeling suicidal
Me, 10 mins later: I feel absolutely nothing.
this is not what I signed up for
“you’re so quiet” bro everyone ignores me and nobody cares about what i have to say
Me, rotting in bed for 48 hours: wow this is nice <3
“i am literally insane” i say as i display a common trait of a disorder that i’ve known i’ve had for years
I fluctuate between "my needs are unreasonable, I should repress them so I don't have to bother anyone" and "I've been through so much. I deserve a bit of understanding and comfort"
“what’s wrong with you?” bitch what isn’t
“you’re so quiet” i’m dissociating and ive lost connection with reality
My day everyday
we all need someone to tell us we‘re not as horrible as we think we are, right?