Jensen is not okay with the ending and never was!
I think about his words at the end of 2019 a lot, so I just had to look at it more precisely and go through his words and his body language step by step and oh boy, his body language is screaming!
(…) “Are you pleased with the way it’s gonna end?”
“Oh, you had to threw that one, don’t you…”
knowing that it’s his weak spot. He adjusts himself and changes, from this moment on he’s very serious.
“I’ve talked about this a little bit before, some of you may have heard this. We went and sat down in the writers room over the summer and umm… and that’s the first time we’ve done that ever in 15 years or 14 years I guess… and they gave us the pitch on what they had thought or what they were planning to do for the end of the show.”
Everything’s fine up to this point, but now Jensen thinks back to that moment and his body language changes drastically. He wasn’t prepared and is thrown back in time.
“Then we… I heard the pitch and I was like… okay… and at first I was… I… I was kind of… uhh… *some seconds of silence with intense eye movement* … I didn’t… I… It just didn’t sit well with me.”
His body language in these seconds is intense. He instantly corrected the “We” to “I”. His seriousness, the eye movement, the silence inbetween, the stuttering.
“I went home, I slept on it, thought about it for a few days, and just… I just was like… *sigh* I just… I don’t… I don’t know. I wasn’t digging it.”
Again stuttering, trying to put the chaos in his head into a sentence. You can clearly see how extremely he struggled for days, maybe weeks. Even if it was months ago, he’s still affected while just thinking and talking about it, he even hasn’t fully digested it until now.
“And… and so I was talking to my wife about it, and she was like “You should call somebody, talk to him about it.” and I was like “Who?! Everybody who’s… you know… who would be… who was there in the room, like they’re all… they’re all on board…”
This is the moment where my heart broke. He was alone. He heard the pitch, he didn’t liked it, he wasn’t digging it, struggled for days, weeks, but is unable to do anything about it because everyone else is fine with it. That must’ve been fucking horrific.
“So I called him [Eric Kripke] up. And I said: Hey, man. You built this world, these are your characters that you’ve created. This is how we’re gonna wrap it up. I’m having a problem digesting it and I need your take on it.”
I love Jensen for his honesty here. He’s standing on stage, saying openly he’s having a problem with that wrap up, he can’t digest it, he’s not taking it and it affects him that massivly that he has to get help.
“He broke it down in a way that really made sense and he basically reminded me… He was like “You’re too close to it. You got to step back and look at it from an audience perspective (…) and he was right.”
Okay. I need to breathe here, because this makes me really angry in so many ways. First, Kripke broke it down. Well yeah, he broke it down to what he thought the story would be when he created it. This was 15 years ago. 15 years ago it was a story about the two brothers, it started this way. But Kripke left 10 years ago and has clearly no idea what happened in the meantime and how the characters, bonds and arcs evolved. Saying to Jensen he’s “too close to it” is simply an incredible insult. Jensen loves Dean. Jensen is Dean. Jensen is obviously the only one who understood Dean and his life, his story and character/arc development perfectly in it’s complexity and psychological depth. He invested 15 years of his life, heart, soul, tears, blood, sweat and unchallenged talent into Dean. Jensen made deliberate changes and choices to the way he portrayed Dean in order to reflect what Dean had been through and how it changed his character - just to hear after 15 years he’s too close to it? Wow, Kripke. Just wow. I don’t have words that don’t include swearwords.
Again Jensens body language revealed something: He doesn’t believe Kripke. Seconds before Jensen says “…and he was right.” he breaks his eye contact with the audience and looks away. He doesn’t feel that way. He either talks himself into believing and accepting it and isn’t aware of his clear body language or he knows that Kripke never was right and simply forced himself to lie about it. I think it’s the second option. Jensen is not okay with the ending and never was.
And as we all know, he was right.
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