Real Thoughts

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

Sitting in Starbucks getting a moment to myself. When I feel these emotions come up of jealousy and resentment it causes me to collapse in on myself with shame. To start questioning my entire self-worth and feel guilty for even feeling jealous and insecure in the first place. It’s like my entire lens of the world in these moments is fixed towards everything that I’m seemingly deficient in. And also completely ignoring any redeeming qualities I may have.

The mind is a weird trickster. Because it can convince you that you are it, and simultaneously it can change its perception of the outside world without even warning or telling you about. All it takes is a feeling and a memory of a past event and all of a sudden your entire perception is coloured in a way that is different from reality. And because we tend to identify with this mind, we don’t even know that it’s doing this and we take this perception as the only reasonable truth. Yet if we can understand that our mind is often an unreliable narrator, then it becomes easier to move back and just say “yeah I don’t know about that one bro”. Everything that you’re saying leads to shame and I’ve been around the block long enough to know that life, people, and circumstances have more to offer than that. So you question it and say “hey what’s really going on here”.

Gratitude is a great lens changer and is even a palate cleanser for the soul. But we start with what’s obvious and we’re very careful with our wording so that shame or lack doesn’t sneak its way in. The obvious being that I have a body and its heart beats without me telling it to. That’s insane! All the things I think I need to control and yet this body does a million things so quickly and so automatically and honestly so perfectly. I don’t command a single one of these operations and yet every day and even every second of my life they are done with extreme accuracy. The sun is just close enough so that we don’t freeze and just far enough away that we don’t get torched. Not only that, it’s in just the right position that plants can grow and animals can thrive. And the earth has been doing this for so long with hardly any inconsistencies.

Not only do we have exactly the right amount of resources to live, we also have so much more. We have the space and the opportunity to relax and think and become innovative. We like warmth so we build shelters. And even so much so, that within that shelter we build heating so we can be just a little bit warmer. And within the same shelter, we make it just cold enough by installing AC or having the fan going. And if that’s too cold, we cover up in our blankets so that the cold air we intentionally created doesn’t get us too cold. Not only do we have enough for basic survival we have enough to stay perfectly comfortable at our own leisure. And speaking of leisure, we have so many forms of entertainment! We have experiences that can keep us occupied at home and if we get bored of our comfort shack we can go out to entertainment hubs and find more things to do.

And if survival, comfort, and entertainment wasn’t enough, we can attempt to find meaning and purpose. And we have so many options! Maybe we join a club or a sports team. Maybe we turn to ancient spiritual traditions and practices. Maybe we create content online that gets teleported to thousands of minds across the world in an instant. Maybe we help those around us through our work or through good deeds. This is all at our disposal at every instant. And yet we have a mind that tells us that we are worthless and there’s nothing to do. That we have nothing to offer, and yet there’s so much that is already done without us having to move an inch.

And maybe that’s where the frustration is. We want the right to struggle and move and take control. But the universe isn’t designed that way. So much is done for us and yet we want it done exactly our way. That we block ourselves from what is already inherently ours. We block our creative gifts and we block the flow of life. We fail to see the beauty in front of us because we have a mind that can only see what’s missing.

So we start by seeing what is already here. Not what needs to be here or what should be here. Just what is here. And as we pay attention to that, we become so much more clear on what is right in front of us. The miracle that already is and always was. And when the mind finds that lens and starts adopting that lens, we now have a clean lens to work with. Distortions and blind spots get cleaned up and we start to see more of what was already there. And what a gift that is.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

I feel so contained in my own soul right now. Like there’s a part of me that exists but I have to watch that part of me from a prison cell, unable to connect with it fully. There’s empathy and spiritual connection, but it’s clouded by anxiety and the desire to get my head above water. I’m waiting for the day I can connect to the previous version of myself that could feel deeply, but trying to find that version feels inauthentic to what’s actually happening. I get worried and saddened that this current state is my authentic state. And that any sign of humanness has left me behind in pursuit of goals that still feel so hard to reach. Yet, in the hoping and the wishing there is an awareness of the goodness within myself. I used to say that all you need to do to get out of Hell is know that Heaven exists. And in asking and searching for something more in myself, I am acknowledging the Heaven within and therefor pulling myself out of Hell. And maybe I’m not really even in Hell right now. It honestly feels a little like purgatory. A little bland and frustrating. But that’s no need to sound the alarms. I’m still drawing my gratitude cards, I’m still taking the time to listen, and I still show up with integrity unconditionally. I’ve set my own standards for feeling deeply and having “spiritual” moments so high that I may not even recognize a good thing when it’s right in front of me.

So what does a soul do when it feels like it’s light has gone out. When the fire has seemingly stopped burning. It does all that it really can do and call out the source that created it to give it a match. To give it all the necessary tools to start again. It realizes that it can’t do this alone. It wasn’t created alone and it won’t create anything more alone. So the soul calls out to the source and cries for another chance. But the source doesn’t just give the soul the life that it desires. The source gives the soul the circumstances that leads to the character that can create the life that it wants. The source is infinitely fair and supportive. The life that this soul embarks on now will be rich in challenge and growth. So much so that any life created from these blessings will be beyond anything one could imagine.

So in the purgatory of my life and the dimming of my own soul, I watch peacefully for the challenges God lays out in front of me. And then actively I choose to become a man capable of taking on these challenges. Purgatory is for those who wait forever, Heaven is for those that choose right now who they want to be.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

A letter to Jake McCullough

When we were younger you taught me how to have fun. You taught me to be reckless in a world that constantly enforced rules. You taught me how to laugh. Not just at funny things, but also at myself. When I was afraid of doing scary things, like going up bike jumps you told me that I could. You had a reckless and carefree way of living and you always brought me into your world. Even though I was scared and timid, I trusted your strength and your confidence because it was something I always admired about you. And something I wanted to embody in myself. You were so courageously you. You never veered from that. You knew your compass, your inner way of being and you lived that fully. So when I was around you, I learned how to be like that too. That’s why you were so magnetic to be around, because in being yourself you also gave me permission to be myself. Life was simple with you because I didn’t need to be afraid or anxious. And even when I was afraid, you would just courageously jump into life, that I couldn’t help but do the same. And even when I would tell you I can’t, you’d stay with me until I could. You had a way of believing in me more than I did for myself. You were the first that I remember to do that for me. You were my first memory of confidence. Of real empowerment. You didn’t think twice, you just did and I respected you deeply for that. I still do. When I get stuck in life with anxiety and doubt, I call on you to help me remember. To remember a time when life wasn’t so complicated, when taking action didn’t need a million plans. It just needed to be done. Jake you were a doer in a world of thinkers. I miss you Jake and I’m calling on your help right now. Remind me of this confidence that I’ve forgotten and cheer me on when no one else will. I really miss how you used to do that. And I promise that I won’t forget because all you ever did was help me realize what was always inside of me. Except for you had the vision to see it first. So thank you for seeing me and caring enough about me to always help me step out of my comfort zone.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

Sacred Space

I’m at Starbucks. We just got back from Meagan’s grad party. I feel out of place socially. But I also didn’t want to force interaction. It’s weird. Like I should want to get to know others and in the past I’ve tried asking questions to see if I could spark ups conversation. But I had zero actual interest so people could sense the fakeness and would either get defensive or the conversation would die off. So I didn’t say much. This gave me time to connect with Abby. I’ve been liking doing that more. That crowd wasn’t really my people. But I did like connecting with Meagan at the end. I told her that learning is something you do everyday and you can seek out your own knowledge. I think I can’t fake talking to different crowds. I wonder why I get quiet. I’m not always quiet but I am often quiet. Even at Somaheart I get quiet. I don’t know why. I thought that would be my crowd too. I think one on one or maybe a group of 3 max. Like trying to pay attention to multiple peoples perspectives at the same time is hard. I have so much more than a conversation. It’s like I’m navigating where their body is where the room is what the energy of the entire crowd is and then at the very end of all of that what they’re actually saying. So by the time they talk I’m exhausted by everything else going on.

This is an ongoing thing. Chat says to reclaim my confidence from within yet I don’t like talking in social setting. Should I also work on my social anxiety. It’s tough to know. When I was younger and single I worked on my social anxiety a lot. Most of it was to meet a girl but honestly I was so lonely making any friends was welcoming. But in the back of my mind it was to meet a girl. Then I met Abby and I slowly stopped working on my social anxiety. I still pursued spirituality even more and healing through counselling and men’s work. But the confidence and social anxiety part I stopped pursuing.

It was fun though. Going up to strangers and talking to them just cause. Seeing some people really open up. I used to really enjoy that. I could feel the energy shift once people started to open up. When conversations stopped becoming about what we did for a living and became more focused on living itself. Like silly questions and little things we like. Not even the big stuff like dreams and aspirations but more so what qualities of life made a person light up. Not so much where I wanted to go and where they ended up but the parts of conversation that revealed who they were. I was far more interested in learning who the person I was talking to was rather than who they were trying to be or portraying themselves to be. Like I really enjoy helping people believe in themselves and to know and see their own strength. When their confidence shines through and they take a I don’t know if I can to a I totally can. It can be with anything though. I just like seeing people believe in themselves but not from a place of arrogance but almost gratitude and wonder. Like they’re blessed to be receiving this gift but they know it’s not a one off because they’ve always possessed it. I like when people’s inner realities start to show in their outer reality. Sometimes that’s scary though. Like we have so much chaos and bad intentions sometimes. Jealousy, greed, lust and the like can fester in the mind that if my inner world made its way out I would be terrified. Yet I have good intentions and joy and pleasure and excitement inside of me too. And I’d like to see that seep into my outer world too. I guess that’s the risk of letting it out. That all my cruel qualities may also surface. And I’ll be seen for all of myself and honestly some days I’m a really bad person. Or at least I feel like it. Like I wouldn’t be safe to be around. But I hide it. If it got found it, I feel like I would do more harm than good. So why bother. If I’m hurting others why even bother letting my inner world out. It’s there for a reason. Because it was never allowed out. So I’ve made a habit of staying quiet to protect others from myself. From my judgment, my jealousy, and my rage. But in the process these things grew deeper inside of me. I couldn’t get rid of them and I also could excavate and bring out the good I had in me either. So this evil dwells and bury’s the good. How much harm would I cause if I let all of that out. I don’t actually know. When it seeps out people cringe or look away. They couldn’t handle 1% of me 100% of me would kill them. But keeping it is killing me.

I used to just have fun talking to people because it was a new story and new adventure. I hate asking people what they do or what their schedule is. I hate that. I genuinely want to know someone without a story based on them. I want to just discover them. Without agenda or trying to internally label them. I don’t want information about them I want to know them based on how we talk. Not because I’m trying to decide their character but because who they are just jumps out at me so obviously. They become unlimited exploration. Every sentence a new discovery of their soul. Every facial expression a layer of emotion. Yet they are not fixed. I don’t put them into my favourite hogwarts house or try to guess which zodiac sign they are. I don’t try attribute an element to their personality and see who they remind me of. I just see them continually. Whether they pause or speak, I just continue to see them. Not judging or even discerning really. Just embracing and being with. This is exciting for me because it’s like travelling to new lands. Like an explorer finding the undiscovered territory. At least undiscovered to me. And then being able to be excited by this newness while knowing that this space has been around long before I ever came here. Like it’s been waiting to be found and just the gratitude I feel that I’m even apart of something so much bigger. That shit lights me up. I like people I just hate personalities. I like the flavours of expression and when I have the capacity I can sit back and enjoy the show. But more and more the show gets exhausting and played out. I want something real and original and that isn’t in the next grandiose expression of self. It’s actually contained and expressed in the moments when the mask drops. When the “boring” person comes out. The one who doesn’t flare themselves up and try to be outgoing. The one who just is whatever they really are. This personality is my favourite. Because it’s not really a personality. It’s just truth in the moment. And from there infinity is possible. Because they can be anything. Anything they want and more importantly anything they really are. It’s not a script or played out. It’s a discovery of who they are. And I like that. Because it’s not predictable yet it’s like home. We wear these masks to feel safe and try to interpret others masks to feel safe. “I don’t have the space to handle anything outside of what I know”. Yet these performances don’t feel like home. They feel like my entire life is going from one show to another show. Like it never ends. And some times it’s exciting to go to so many shows but other days it’s exhausting. Like I just want to go home and feel the embrace of something real. So when the mask and the performance is put away I just feel safe. Even in its unpredictability I know that I am carried. Carried to the truth of our beings and being held by unconditional acceptance for where we are.

There’s so many games to play. An infinite amount of games. But I’m just exhausted of playing games all the time. I need a space to be myself and it eases my heart when I am in these spaces. This written exploration is a space for me to return home. Welcome home Cody, have a seat, and remember who you are.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

The Pandemic was a Portal into Ourselves

What if the pandemic was a manufactured placebo. Vaccinated and unvaccinated unaffected by the drug. At least physically. The virus was not a virus of the body but of the mind. To test our allegiance to each other. To give both groups a sense of moral superiority. Vaccinated believing they are smarter and taking care of the sick. Unvaccinated believing they have to know something the other group doesn’t and are forging their own path. Both groups believing they have their own sense of agency in all of this. Like they haven’t been controlled for the last 5 years. Yet we turn our backs on our friends, create walls over our hearts and forget what’s actually important. We trade human connection and our souls development for the illusion of being right. We think we are unaffected by the vaccine if we do not take it, yet we distance ourselves from family and friends and hide our truth. Or speak a twisted version of our truth that naturally repels others away. The body may appear clean by not engaging, yet the mind is suppressed and so the body follows. We hold back parts of ourselves and try so hard to appear like we know everything and don’t require help. Whatever end of the vaccination spectrum we are on, we connect less to humanity as a byproduct of the fear we held in. We hold our moral superiority in our back pocket like a knife we take out when we feel attacked. When we feel less than, we weaponize this guilt and pour it onto others. We pump ourselves up and distance everyone around us. The virus wasn’t a physical specimen but an emotional force. An energy of fear that infected the entire world. Fear of death on both ends. Fear of not fitting in and fear of being like everyone else. Both decisions came from fear, regardless of how we stand on our decisions. There is no right or wrong in this. There is pain either way. Even if we are “right” it doesn’t stop us from hurting. We all hold onto our theories. Some theories you find on the first page of google and some theories you have to find separate websites for. Either way they are theories. Scientists on both ends, scholars on both ends, and hypocrisy on both ends. It doesn’t matter where you fit in this equation, when we add our truths and subtract someone else’s we can never be whole. Compensation is not realization.

The cure to the vaccine and the pandemic itself is not found in the taking or not taking of a drug. It is not found in the depths of the internet or at the rallies we choose to attend or complain about. It’s not found in an ideology or moral high ground. It’s found in the connection we chose to sever between our brothers and sisters. Between the human beings we chose to idolize or demonize. The truth is the cure and the truth is that we are all connected. We may put up brick walls and comfy shelters. We may put up “boundaries” that can never be broken. And yet someone else’s life is deeply connected to mine. Sometimes at my irritation, and yet the connection is still there. The cure is not physical, but emotional. When we heal the wounds within and see others through the loving eyes of the divine there are no sides to take anymore. We see the perfection of humanity through its seemingly imperfections. When we say hi to our neighbour and look at them the way a child looks at their parents. Without judgments or perceptions. No filter or lense that blocks our true vision. We see only the truth of their being and when they are met with these eyes, the eyes of truth wink back.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

What is a need and what is a want?

All my life I’ve been raised to believe a need is food air and water. It had to be directly related to my survival. Not indirectly. If it wasn’t in direct relationship with harming me then it wasn’t necessary to speak up or ask. In fact it was seen as needy, pathetic, and ungrateful to do so. Like a brat or an ungrateful, lazy child. I’ve always prided myself on needing the bare minimum. It made me strong and proud. I am capable of so much and so unbreakable. And yet I feel so broken. So needy and irritated. Like a problem.

What could I be needing and maybe I’ll start by calling it a need regardless of whether I feel like it is. It doesn’t have to make sense right away. I need to be understood. Typing that out felt weird. Not because I’m not aware of it but because I addressed it as a need. It felt weird for it to be of so much importance to me. I need to be understood. I need comfort and words of affirmation. I need to be believed in. It hurts when people look down on me or don’t believe in me. I need to be loved and cared for in a soothing way. I reject massages and chiros because I feel like they take my power from my body. They convince me that I’m weak when I am strong. That I can lift weights and strengthen my body to a point that it never needs to be supported. It is a strong oak tree and it can hold all my emotions in. It doesn’t need to be vulnerable because it holds itself up so high and so strong. Yet in those moments of vulnerability in front of Deus and Jane and Meagan and Jordan I felt empowered. They resulted in mindset shifts that gave me the courage and possibility of real growth. When I opened up to Meagan about my Grandpa and how I feel like I wasn’t being the man I could be, I cried and the crow appeared. I saw that there was a spiritual and benevolent force that wanted me to be happy and be held. That was rooting for me. That I could trust life. In that moment I trusted Meagan so much that in being held by her I was simultaneously being held by the entire universe itself. When I reached out to Jordan about my masturbation problem I was met with understanding and I felt like I had the strength to move forward. When Jane held space for talking about how Jiu Jitsu was taken away from me as a kid and replaced with the harder working wrestling mentality it gave me the strength and courage to pursue Jiu Jitsu more and tell people that was my intention. It was something I was always interested in but I was worried people would see me as weak. Or that I would actually become weak. Yet my wrestling is even better now and my Jiu Jitsu flows naturally into it. When Deus held me in his arms as I cried I thought I would take less action in life. Become a victim, crybaby who just watches the world move on. Yet I started my own business, pursued more men’s work, breathwork courses and things that I genuinely resonate with. More of my actual truth shined out.

And so at the cross roads of compassion and cruelty I see a way to exist in the world. I see the wrestling coaches who empowered me through belief and positive affirmation. I see coach Brock who stood by my side in the worst moments and didn’t think once to give up on me. I see coach Frank at the SFU invitational listening to how mad I was in that match against Amrit and how he was proud I didn’t lose my cool. I lost 10-0 and yet he still found a reason to love and care for me. And through that space holding I was able to close the gap in the next match and eventually beat him. It wasn’t cruelty that pushed me towards action but compassion. My greatest leaders were the ones who listened and believed in me regardless of how many times I fell. They had unwavering faith in my spirit and they saw something that I was too blind to see.

So what type of man do I want to become. What model has been laid out for me. Is it compassion or cruelty? Is it empowerment or shame? I have so much evidence that my greatest development came from those that believed in me even when I saw no reason to do it for myself. At Club 16, Ryan saw a kid with a lot of energy and a magnetic way of being. I saw a naive, incapable, and cocky kid. He saw different until I was able to receive the energy he was giving me. There’s energizers all around in my life. I’ve had the fortune of meeting and developing close relationships with them.

When my dad chose to pause and reset his tone when we were working on the cable machine in the gym it taught me that even my first example of leadership believed in me. Even he could see that I was capable of listening and even he could hold space for me. It transformed my relationship with him and with myself. It gave me permission to pause, go slow, and reset my tone too. To hold myself with compassion.

So in an act of rebellion against a system that rewards greatness and perfection and devours flaws and imperfection, I am choosing to be whatever the fuck I am. And let the rest of the chips fall into place. Because that level of faith holds me eternally. It is space holding that is unconditional. The universe is my space holder and it provides infinite space holders in this world. One of which being myself. And the others being those I’m willing to ask. But I have to ask or I’ll just be lucky enough to meet the people who are capable of doing it. And that truly is a blessing but two hands have to reach out in order to truly touch. So I am reaching my hand out to the world and letting myself receive its touch back.

[bouncinghedgehoghasattitude]

[dasenergi]

it’s very out of the blue, but I feel like you might have an answer: do you mind sharing a way to ground or open your sacral chakra? I was told that might be something I need to work on but engaging with it eludes me

Hello, Friend,

First, let’s clarify a few concepts:

Grounding refers to becoming more centered in your body and present in the moment. It's about connecting with the earth to bring your energy down from the upper chakras and distribute it evenly throughout your body. Grounding stabilizes and connects you, forming a foundation for removing blockages and allowing energy to flow freely through your chakras.

Opening a chakra, on the other hand, is about activating and energizing the chakra.

As a reiki healer, I have worked with clients who have experienced different blockages — overactive (which can feel hot) and underactive (which can feel cold) chakras. In my experience, while reiki and sound baths can support chakra healing, the most significant progress happens when clients actively engage in their own healing process. This work requires patience, consistency, and commitment to a daily practice.

I am curious why you specifically mentioned the sacral chakra. Understanding your experience with this chakra could help identify what might be blocking it and how best to balance it. Below I will speak in broad general terms about my experience with grounding, the sacral chakra, and ways people recommend to balance it.

The Sacral Chakra: Creativity, Emotional Expression, and Sensuality

When the sacral chakra is unbalanced, it can manifest in various ways:

Emotional instability Insecurity and anxiety Addictive behaviors (overindulgence) Resentment and guilt Lack of creativity Feeling unmotivated Lack of desire

When this chakra is balanced, you feel emotionally grounded, creatively fulfilled, and physically vibrant. You are inspired, creative, sensual, passionate, playful, energetic, joyful, balanced, and connected.

Grounding Techniques When I work with clients on grounding, we usually use meditation, breathwork, and visualization.

Tree Visualization/Meditation: We hold hands, close our eyes, and synchronize our breathing. I then guide them to imagine themselves as a tree, with roots extending deep from their feet into the earth. They feel the energy from the earth rising up through their roots, stabilizing and centering them. Their arms and hands become branches reaching for the sun, feeling its nutrients invigorate them. They imagine their branches swaying in the wind, taking in carbon dioxide, and releasing oxygen back into the atmosphere. Their body is the tree trunk, feeling strong, connected, and supported — energy flowing freely.

Barefoot Walking: Another effective grounding technique is walking barefoot on natural surfaces like the earth, grass or soil. Whether it’s a walk in a park, forest, or beach, this direct connection with nature can be incredibly grounding.

Connecting with Nature: Touching nature, hugging trees, talking to plants, and listening to their responses are other powerful ways to ground. Gardening can also be a deeply grounding practice, even if its just potted plants inside of your home. If you don't have any plants, visit a plant nursery and become a plant parent. If you are nervous about being a plant parent, start-off with a small succulent. They tend to be easier to care for, although a few have died while in my care.

Physical Exercise: Physical activities like swimming, walking, or going to the gym can help ground your energy and bring awareness to your body.

Water Connection: Water is especially beneficial for grounding. Whether it is taking a dip in a stream, river, ocean, spa, swimming pool, or even a bath or shower, water can help you reconnect and stabilize your energy. Practice luxurious bathing. Water is my personal #1 healing & spiritual practice. (It is not out of the ordinary for me to take 3 showers a day.) If I don't swim every day, I feel it. I just got back from a multi-week silent meditation Buddhist retreat in the mountains, and I brought with me a glass bottle of my swimming pool water to anoint myself everyday. (I also used it to water some of the trees and plants around that I was connecting with.)

Dance: Movement is another way to ground yourself AND release blocked energy. Don’t worry about how you look—just move! Create a playlist of three songs that get your body moving, and let your body guide you. Dance as if no one is watching, allowing your intuition to lead the way. (Here is a link to a Spotify playlist of songs for intuitive dancing.)

Sensory Connection: Engage in activities that bring pleasure and engage your senses, like:

Enjoying a favorite meal mindfully. Turn off the TV and electronic devices. Close your eyes and take your time to chew slowly, savoring each flavor as it unfolds on your palate. Pay attention to the sensations of eating, how the food feels in your mouth, and how your body responds to it. Allow yourself to be fully present, appreciating the nourishment and pleasure that each bite provides.

Mindful Tea or Coffee Drinking. Make a ritual out of it. Pay attention to the sound of the water boiling, the aroma as it brews, and the warmth of the cup in your hands. Sip slowly, savoring each flavor note and texture, and allow yourself to be fully present in the experience.

Textural Exploration. Spend time exploring different textures with your hands. This could be anything from soft fabrics, like silk or velvet, to natural textures, like stones or leaves. Close your eyes and really focus on how each texture feels against your skin, allowing yourself to be absorbed in the sensation.

Opening & Balancing the Sacral Chakra involves a combination of the grounding techniques (above) and also some suggest the below:

Color and Crystals: Some believe that the sacral chakra’s association with the color orange means that eating orange foods (like oranges, carrots, mangoes, and cantaloupe) or carrying orange crystals (like Amber, Carnelian, Orange Calcite, Gold Tiger’s Eye, and Moonstone) can help balance it. This also includes wearing orange clothes, perhaps a new orange scarf or shoes? October is coming up!

Yoga Poses: While I am not trained in yoga (and only practice sporadically) certain poses are often recommended for opening the sacral chakra, such as Mountain Pose, Tree Pose, Warrior Pose, Crescent Pose, Goddess Pose, Forward Bend, Bound Angle Pose, Triangle Pose, Pigeon Pose, and Butterfly Pose. Aromatherapy: Mindful breathing with scents. Using essential oils like jasmine, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, orange, or patchouli can also support sacral chakra healing.

Creativity: Expressing yourself creatively is key to sacral chakra health. Write, draw, paint—let your creative energy flow. Even if you are not feeling particularly inspired, just start. A single brush stroke or word on a page can lead to more. Make creativity a daily practice, whether it is doodling, writing a sentence, or something else.

And probably the most important recommendation on how to balance your sacral chakra—

Emotional Exploration: Since the sacral chakra is closely tied to your emotions, consider exploring any underlying emotional issues or traumas that might be contributing to the imbalance. Journaling daily, therapy, or talking with someone you trust can be powerful tools in this process.

Even though I tried to be as thorough as possible above, I should note that I am NOT actually an expert in the chakras. I disagree with the common western belief that there are only seven chakras. I believe that there are A LOT more. Each finger has at least four! Chakras are energy vortexes. And I have a lot of opinions about them.

But like I mentioned above, doing the grounding work that I mentioned along with a daily practice, should help you.

If you want to come off Anon and send a personal message, I will be happy to provide more thoughts on the subject specific to your circumstance.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

What is self love?

Real self love. Is it saying I love you in the mirror and feeling deeply for oneself? Is it persisting in being kind to oneself no matter the circumstances? Maybe it’s holding ourselves tightly even when we feel the world around us crumbling?

Real self love, the love that we all carry within, is being with ourselves no matter what and expressing that love with the entire world. It’s filling ourselves up so fully that we radiate love everywhere we go. It’s that feeling in my chest that burns when I’m feeling neglected and warms my body in ecstasy when I’m feeling supported. It’s tears running down my face as I type because I know it was always me all along. I was the one I needed to be with. I was the one I needed to care for. It’s realizing I am more than enough unconditionally forever and ever. It’s the soul setting on fire and seeing itself for the first time. It’s boundless and endless and everlasting. It’s the type of love that doesn’t need to be shared but it’s true nature can’t help but be shared. It’s the sun warming the earth and supporting all of creation. It’s a boy realizing his dreams and feeling them into existence. It’s kind and gentle and warm. It’s the type of love that changes the world. And it all begins from within.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

There is an animating force that guides all of us. The emotions we carry inside of us guide and influence our behaviours giving us vigorous and strength. Some people will become deflated and will be very weak when trying to speak or do anything physical. Others are tenacious and vibrant in both their spoken word and their physical actions. Both these individuals have the seemingly the same level of intelligence and resources available yet the outcomes and more importantly the energy are much different. Watch your favourite hockey player in a play off game. They have focus, drive, and passion for what they’re doing. We’ve been fed this lie that emotions make us weak yet the most powerful people on the planet feel the deepest. Not only do they feel deeply they express even more deeply. Both feeling and expressing are often linked with being weak and feminine yet some of the strongest most masculine men feel the most. Our survival mechanism shuts off our feelings though. We form beliefs around them being weak and being a liability to our support and survival. Being seen is akin to being dead. But this isn’t true at all. Being seen is the closest thing we have symbolically to being alive. People energize us whether we want to admit it or not. Others thoughts, words, and opinions of us fuel or deflate us. Our own beliefs can be re-enforce good energy and emotions within but we cannot escape the fact that we are social creatures. It doesn’t mean do everything you do for others or abandon your own autonomy. Simply it just means to not cower away from people’s opinion of you. Don’t act like you don’t like the praise and actually let a compliment fuel you and don’t pretend like insults do nothing to your energy either. With the awareness that we are all highly emotional we can move forward in life living as fully as we can. No holding back or playing coy. Just true authentic expression. Scream and yell when we’re mad, cry when we’re sad, and smile wide when we’re happy. The power lies in our emotions. They influence everything we do and help us accomplish it with grace and power. I can’t remember how many times I held back my mentions wishing that I had just fully went all in on what I was doing. The times where I hesitated and relied on my mind rather than my heart even though my heart had the answers that the mind couldn’t perceive. The times my voice was shaking trying to get the words out and I held back saying what I truly thought because I was worried I’d be seen as awkward or in the way. The times I held back excitement because I wanted to seem wise or cool and in control. Our emotions are the flavours of life and give meaning the all the structures we have set in place. When cleverness fails to sustain us and it always does we must feel deeply again to regain our life force. A well constructed argument or a perfectly laid out plan with no emotions can spend decades in remission while a feeling acted upon can move the entire world. We feel because it’s what is most natural to us. It is our gift that makes us complete. We wield our feelings to push ourselves into action. Without feeling we run circles of infinity that go no where. Endless thought loops of would’ve, could’ve, and should’ves but nothing to take it from the mental plane to the physical plane. It just remains an unrealized dream that stays locked up within. Our emotions unlock our dreams and give birth to them in the physical realm. They are portals between what we hold within and what we experience without. The feeling extracts the thought and puts it out into the canvas for all to see. It adds colour to reality and gives vibrancy to life. Our emotions are our greatest gift for realizing our best reality.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

A sea of emotions felt deep within. Sometimes I can’t breathe with the weight of these feelings. Sometimes I explode and cry, shaking as I concave my body inwards in shame. Sometimes I rise up arch my back and scream to the heavens. Sometimes I slam my fists to the ground so that Satan himself can hear me knocking. Sometimes I smile and take it all in. Sometimes it’s just funny. All of it. Holding hell and heaven in my heart while trying to act like a normal person. Hold a normal conversation. Be apart of a normal society. As if anyone wants what we say we want. All playing somebody else’s game until we all realize we’re not even playing anymore. A giant game of telephone that goes Millenia back. When the first caveman realized he’d live a lot longer with external support. So he put on a caveman mask and pretended to be the person that he thought everyone else would accept. This game caught on until we all started wearing masks we didn’t recognize anymore. Flash forward thousands of years and we simultaneously “like” a post while secretly hating it. We write resumes that our parents would approve of but not ones that describe our soul. We make our bios through chat GPT outsourcing our wisdom to something that isn’t even living. All to gain acceptance. When my inner child runs and hides. When it cries and shivers. When it doesn’t trust the mask that’s put on. I understand why now. This inauthentic world is appealing to the ego but the soul cannot breathe here. The soul is gasping for something real. Heaven and hell reside within me not the other way around. I do not go there, they are alive in me already. Sovereignty is the state where my inner child feels safe and trusts me. A state where the curtains are pulled down and I am fully seen. No mask, no blinds, no hiding. Just me. Let this sea wash over me purifying my soul. Feeling what is meant to be felt and beginning again. No charge, no attachments, no pride. Just me.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

A world created within my own mind. Pyramids of Egypt. Magic in the words we speak. Affirmations crystallizing into matter. My imagination running wild with no limits to contain it. If I think it I have it. Boundless creativity and joy. Flying in the sky through astral travel. A world beyond my imagination. A safe haven from the scariness outside. Somewhere safe to hide. I can close my eyes and feel. I see so many vivid colours. A deep lasting peace starts within my chest. It warms my whole body up. Air flows effortlessly from my chest to my throat. My jaw loosens and I yawn. I feel space expand within my chest. My capacity to feel is broadened. It all feels so much more expansive. I don’t have to contain it within such a small space. I have room now. Room to feel. I let go of wanting things to be a certain way. I let go of needing to get ahead. I let go of being critical. I let my guard down. I can feel now. My greatest ally with me once again. The painter of this dream world. The one who fills in the blanks. The one who gives context to content of my life. The chaos and the beauty. This dream world is not just in my head. It’s out in front in my eyes. I see it when I close my eyes and I see it when I open them. This illusion hides so well. I cannot tell when I am looking at it. I convince myself that what I see is so real. What I feel is so real. Both can change within an instant. All that is real is the space for change. The formless energy behind the form that I feel and see. Anger, hate, guilt envy, pride, and fear are all not real. The energy behind these thought forms are real. The form they manifest is not. This dream world is so malleable. I can breathe in and by the time I breath out a new world is created. It’s unbelievable! When I was young I knew this yet I would fall victim to the illusions and get wrapped into stories and events of the physical. When I look out at the trees I feel that this universe is a kind and generous one. That it has my back and that I am safe. That it supplies me with all I could ever need and want. That I am held by it. That I am supported by it. I don’t need to close my eyes to see this world yet sometimes it can be helpful. It is all around me. Whatever I dream of I see. And what I see is all my dream come true. My heart softens, my upper back cracks and I sigh, easing slowly into the couch. Everything is going to be joyful.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

As I go into the inner library of my own thoughts and dreams I think of my life in magical and esoteric terms. Symbolism and imagery are so potent and they illuminate all my inner landscape with ease.

I think of the mind being full of darkness like a tunnel that needs to be excavated. When I try to find my way with my mind alone I bump into many rocks and acclimate many fears. I feel stuck because of all these fears and because of the darkness my fears grow even more, not knowing if I’ll bump into another rock again. When I enter the realm of the subconscious and step into the heart centre I bring a little bit of light into this tunnel. At first it is only enough light to see what is right in front of me and that can make me fearful at times too. However, it is 1 percent more light than I had before and that is enough. With this I navigate my way through the tunnel and instead of more fears, I develop trust and faith in my path. I keep moving and through this continuous movement I regain the trust and love I had in myself as a child. I nobody longer cling onto my fears but one by one begin to let them go. As these fears release my inner light begins to shine 1 percent more. I keep moving and moving and trusting in myself until my inner light shines fully and I fully let go of all my fears and insecurities. The tunnel is illuminated by love and self-confidence. I can finally see. And in my seeing I remember that this sight was my inherent ability all along. The light was always within me, I just had to face the darkness I had been clinging onto for so long. This darkness could take the form of self doubt, self sabotage, guilty feelings, and “unworthiness”. These all dimmed my light from a very young age but the light never disappeared. It was just covered by the darkness. Once I faced the darkness and trusted in my light, my light began to reveal itself even more. My journey of self discovery is not a relearning but rather a reclamation of what was always inside all along. My inner light shines brightly for all to see, illuminating both my own path and the paths of others.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

What is it that I need to release? Is it time to truly let go? Can I fully let go? Or am I still holding onto something? Life is so short when we see the higher perspective of everything. Will I truly care at the end of my life over the small intricate details that made my chest tighten and my heart harden? Or will I accept my current reality and smile upon it with gratitude. It is time to let go of all the old stories. Up until this point I have been letting go of 1 story at a time. Still holding onto to many others and getting trapped in defending them. These stories are old and do not need to be defended anymore. That I need to struggle to succeed. That I need to take life more seriously. That I am only valuable when I am working and straining myself. That my rest and my relaxation are unimportant and lazy. That I should carry this current unconscious guilt for being alive. All these stories have an expiration date. And today is that day. I release these stories of strain and discomfort. I release the past. My breath guides me right now into my most authentic and all knowing self. With each breath in I take in all of creation, gratefully, and with each breath out I let go of old programs, effortlessly. I’ve always known the way of my life and what I truly resonate with. I have a strong inner compass and a strong sense of knowing through remembering. In the past I convinced myself to forget. Today I will remember always my true nature and trust in this fully. It is time to release all that I am not and remember all that I am.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

I remember a time when I was younger when everything used to feel so peaceful. I’d look out at the sky and watch the wind blow against the laves on the trees and I’d just know I was truly supported. I didn’t have a reason really, not one that I can recall, but I’d just know that everything was going to be ok. I used to love spending time just watching the world. That was more than enough fascination for me. I didn’t need an external stimulus to curb my boredom. I would get really excited about the idea of just looking out at the world and having peace from all the prior stimulus I was consuming. I loved engaging with the world from time to time but even more than that I really loved just existing in it. With no burdens or worries. In my own prism of thought. I could stay in this comfortable home guilt free and I always knew I could return here whenever I wanted. This home became a shelter as I got older. I would come here to escape the world I had created and I stopped treated this home with the same reverence I did before. I wanted instant healing from the madness and obligations of the social world. My inner world of peace was in conflict. It still held space for me and gave me life force, but more and more I would leave it and come back with emotional bruises. And every time I would return I would expect my inner doctors to put a bandaid on these wounds and quickly go back to my social life. I forgot why I had created this inner world in the first place. Neither my inner world or my social world were meant to be escapes from one another. They were both meant to be appreciated and loved and give me greater understanding for the other. Now as I am older I am remembering to come back to this inner world, not for an escape, but for deep gratitude and understanding for life. Even though I would leave for long periods of time, I would be welcome with open arms like a parent would welcome back their kid who had been gone for far too long.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

What martial arts do you do?

I’ve trained jiu jitsu and wrestling for 15 years interchanging between both as a kid up until now. I’m a brown belt in jiu jitsu and wrestled in high school and University. Currently I’m also adding in Karate just once a week on Tuesday. I’ve done that for less than 2 months. And judo I’ve been doing 1X a week since January and just added in a second practice a week ago

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

The worst case scenario and the best case scenario are an arms length apart. The villain is the hero if he made all the wrong choices and succumbed to all his worst qualities. The inherent power and ability is in both, just projected in opposite directions. A good thought and a bad thought come from the same place. We hold the power inside of us to choose. To say no thank you I’d rather entertain this. I’d rather feel this. I rather think about this. The thoughts circulate the mind and can tend to go no where because the lens through which the thoughts are being seen is very messy. In order to see better the lens needs to be cleaned first. This can be done through parasympathetic nervous system activation like breath work. Gratitude portals are also another great tool. Gratitude in itself is great but can often be unattainable when we’re in a dark place. A gratitude portal is a memory, mantra, symbol or anything physical or non physical that can teleport us back to a moment of deep gratitude. Once gratitude becomes a regular practice we get what’s called no reason happiness where you just feel really happy to be alive over basically nothing in particular. That’s just your state. Your lens. Until then, having a gratitude portal can be a great way to remind ourselves of what we really care about and what really makes us happy. Gratitude and breath work are my main ways of changing my lens. Also jiu jitsu and lifting weights already have such a positive association with me that after I do those I feel better and more clearly able to manifest positively. That’s mostly because I’ve been doing those forever. Having tools to clear the mind and feel good now is the best thing to do when we’re unsure about how to solve our problems. The problem cannot be solved with the same mind that created it so in order step into a new way of thinking we need to change the lens by changing the feeling. It actually becomes a positive feedback loop. We’re stuck in a rut with our continuous negative thoughts. We change the lens through gratitude or breath work. Our thoughts become more positively focused. These thoughts make us feel even better which in turn generates more positive thoughts. It becomes an upward spiral of emotion. Any downward spiral can quickly become positive if we just turn the dial. Feeling good through whatever means resonates with us are ways we can turn the dial. Other ways that we can turn the dial that I didn’t mention before can be dancing, talking to a close friend who knows how to hold space, hiking, watching an uplifting movie, comedy/laughing, intimacy, hugs, drawing/painting, shaking, humming, creative endeavours, exploring new areas. The list could actually go on to infinity as everyone brings their own brand of creative beauty to the world. When we find the things that help clean our lens and turn the dial upwards, then all the overthinking becomes pointless because what needs our attention becomes very obvious. This present moment.