[etherslide-deactivated20181207]

“Why I Wasn’t Contracted to Write Beauty and the Beast” by I have no idea who, and desperately want to know.  If anyone does, please tell me! Edit:  Through knmajorblogs I have discovered the genius behind this piece of art.  The genius in question is LordJazor !  Thank you!

[weicheidarling-deactivated20240]

“she warned him not to be such an apocalyptic fuck hat to strangers” “for who could ever learn to love such a cock waffle” BLESS THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[raccoonfootproductions]

Reblogged recently, but worth reblogging again.

[didyouknowmagic]

Nothing can top this lol

[hockeytown-gifs]

A lovely old Detroit Red Wings ESPN commercial - 

Featuring Brendan Shanahan and Sergei Fedorov <3

[scishow]

Sometimes scientists lick things they maybe shouldn’t lick, leading to some cool discoveries.

[paristexaz]

I was going through useless facts and trivia to fill my brain with shit and I learned in feudal Japan the term for a bisexual man was something along ”wields swords in both hands”

And the gays win again.

[paristexaz]

Zuko is leading us into 20Biteen with pride

[primordialpaper]

I think you mean with honor

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

Iconic.

[femsmirk]

[insaiyan7]

Their names, ranks and kills in case people went to know;

First row – Guard Staff Sergeant, VN Stepanova: 20 kills, Guard Sgt JP Belousova: 80 kills, Guard Sgt AE Vinogradova: 83 kills.

Second row – Guard Lieutenant EK Zhibovskaya: 24 kills, Guard Sgt KF Marinkin: 79 kills, Guard Sgt OS Marenkina: 70 kills.

Third row – Guard Lieutenant NP Belobrova: 70 kills, Lieutenant N. Lobkovsky: 89 kills, Guard Lieutenant VI Artamonova: 89 kills, Guard Staff Sergeant MG Zubchenko: 83 kills.

Forth row – Guard Sergeant, NP Obukhova: 64 kills, Guard Sergeant, AR Belyakova 24 kills.

Total number of confirmed kills: 775. Photo taken in Germany, May 4, 1945.

[dicapito]

And this hasn’t been made into a movie or mini series?

[random-person-number-52]

The cool thing is, there’s still one person missing: Lyudmila Pavlichenko.

She was one of the deadliest snipers of World War II, and is regarded as one of the deadliest snipers of all time. Over the course of one year (June 1941-June 1942) she racked up a count of 309 kills, 36 of which were enemy snipers. Her prescence in the picture alone would have brought the total number of kills from 755 to 1064.

Goddamn.

[lesbianshepard]

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

[lesbianshepard]

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[key--lime--pie]

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

[notaflippinmermaid]

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

[midnightmindcave]

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

Those were 2.20 minutes well spent!

[cherryholley]

[shithowdy]

real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all

[maddiebiscuits]

THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!

[vaspider]

I actually turn this into a game!

“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”

“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”

“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”

You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’

[thigm0taxis]

It’s also helpful because it reminds you (me) how little time some of these things actually take. “Oh. I can do (X) in the 2 minutes it takes that to heat up in the microwave. I guess it’s not actually a huge overwhelming task that I need to psych myself up for and make Special Elaborate Preparations before I can do it. Huh.”

[thewinterotter]

This is also a super good way to limit the amount of time you spend on something, if there are tasks you tend to over-do, or if like me you have a habit of spending too much time on one thing to avoid doing another thing. I used to help with a dog training class and one of the things we taught our students was in the beginning at least to only do training in short bursts… two or three minutes, high value treats and lots of praise, get the behavior you want once or twice and you’re DONE. People have a tendency when they keep at it for too long to really hammer the dog with the same behavior over and over and be really perfectionist about it and make the whole experience Not Fun At All for their dog, and if you do that over the long term that is super bad. So we’d tell people to only work on training with their dog during commercial breaks. That way there was a definite end time, the dog gets to chill and absorb what you’re teaching while you sit back down and watch your show, you leave them wanting more so they’re eager the next time you jump into it instead of being crabby and over the whole experience, and basically it’s just a win all around.

[geekwithsandwich]

I can usually manage to clean up at least half of the mess from making food during the waiting parts of the food-making, which is really essential for those days when I’m not braining well enough to actually go back and finish cleaning up later.  This way, I at least reduced the mess.  I’ve also gotten into the habit of putting away each ingredient immediately after using it, for longer cooking projects, which is useful because it means there won’t be a big overwhelming pile of food to deal with later, and even if I never do any of the dishes at least food won’t be left out to spoil.  The only pitfall is sometimes I accidentally engage autopilot and put away things I haven’t used yet and then I have to get them back out….  only on bad brain fog days though.

The other useful thing to do in waiting periods is minor exercise.  Just warm-ups and light stretching, but if you’re like me and get bad body aches from sitting weird and not stretching enough, getting in the habit of doing those warm-ups and stretches while water boils or the microwave goes, is super helpful for pain reduction.  You could also do a few sets of hand weights or bodyweight exercises in the longer gaps, if that’s your thing.

You could also train yourself to pay attention to your posture and breathing during these gaps.  Basically, if you can turn it into the trigger for a healthy habit, like “I just put the kettle on = time to do The Thing”, it’s a good way to sort of trick yourself into self care that you usually forget to do.

[freddieandersen]

Only loosely related but lately when I’ve been finding myself faced with a task that 1) I don’t want to do and 2) I can’t figure out a reason I don’t want to do it, other than “I don’t want to”, I’ve been setting a timer for 7 minutes and doing the task until the timer goes off.

7 minutes seems like the right length for me in that it’s not too long or overwhelming but it is long enough that I can make progress in the task. When the timer goes off if I still don’t want to be doing the thing, I let myself stop, but more often than not I’m like “oh this isn’t so bad actually. I can do another 7 minutes”

I think it works because I can’t tell how long a task is going to take me, at all, ever, so saying “I have to do this” locks me in for as long as that thing takes, which could be three hours, I don’t know. Saying “I’m just going to address this for 7 minutes” gives me permission to leave it unfinished if I need to, but also gets some of it done so that I’m not paralyzed by guilt over not doing it.

[innytoes]

Listen I have zero headcanons or plot for a Leverage OT3 highschool AU, I just have a burning desire for Eliot driving around his boyfriend and girlfriend in a beat up old car and Nana being awesome and Parker being Mysterious and also maybe like milkshakes??? Flannel and sneakers??? Cute teen dates??? Someone please save me.

[innytoes]

-Eliot charming the shit out of Nana with his ‘ma’am’ and appreciation for Good Food.

-Parker not officially going to school, she just picks a class or two she wants to follow because Archie said she should learn to blend in with kids her age. She steals the teacher’s roll-call list and adds herself to it. 

-Eliot 100% the quarterback. He is also Very Popular with The Ladies and some of the other players are like: HOW DO YOU GET SO MUCH ASS ELIOT and he is like: TRY TREATING WOMEN LIKE PEOPLE JACKASS. (He doesn’t even get around half as much as people think, because he is Respectful and even when he does have sex he never tells.)

-Hardison takes ALL the computer classes. He finished all his assignments on the first day and spends the rest of his time hacking and programming and messing with the school’s system so bullies actually get in trouble and kids who have accessibility needs are suddenly getting the funds and help they need. 

-Parker tried out for cheerleader and it went about as well as you can imagine.

-Lots of very cute late night dates at all-night diners with milkshakes and Eliot arguing with the fry cook and Hardison charming the waitress but only because he wants to distract her from Parker sneaking behind the counter to top up their milkshake.

-Hardison being very understanding Eliot doesn’t want to introduce him to his dad like: is it the boy thing, the black thing, or… And Eliot is like: no no no it’s the my dad is an asshole thing and I don’t want to subject either of you to him but I want you to meet my little brother his name is Jake he’s really smart you’ll like him.

-All three of them have tried the yawn-and-arm-around-the-shoulders move and only one of them was succesful. (Eliot. And only half the time, one time he nearly poked Hardison’s eye out.)

-Parker stealing her boy’s clothes and accidentally becoming the centre of attention because wearing the quarterback’s letterman jacket Means Something so she makes Hardison switch with her and that just causes more gossip and meanwhile Eliot is bitching at them like DID NOBODY THINK THAT MAYBE I’M COLD WITHOUT MY JACKET DO YOU SEE HOW MANY LAYERS I WEAR IT’S NOT A FASHION STATEMENT DAMMIT HARDISON GIVE IT BACK.

-Nana has totally taken Parker aside and told her if she needs anything, she can always come to her. Parker fled because of Emotions but also has totes dropped by the house while Hardison was out to 1) get advice from an adult who was not Archie and 2) eat all the homemade cookies.

-Eliot takes the other two camping. It goes about as well as you can imagine.

-Hardison and Eliot seeing Archie with Parker when they’re arguing about a job. Hardison very carefully tries to question her about who Archie is (’nah, Archie isn’t my dad, he has a Real Family’), if he’s bad-touching her, and Parker being ‘???’ until Eliot is like: IS HE HURTING YOU BECAUSE I WILL PUNCH HIM and Parker being like: oh lol no, Archie knows I would stab him if he tried to touch me. =D He gave me a knife! 

-They’re still not entirely sure about who Archie is so they track him down and threaten him just in case. Archie makes up some kind of story about being a mentor and being all: I’m glad Parker made friends who will threaten adults for her.

-Who gave Parker a skateboard who thought that was a good idea she is riding it along the edge of a 10 story building. 

-Laser tag death match, winner gets to pick the movie/food/sit in the middle of the snugglepile.

-Weirdly invested and inappropriate-life-advice-giving guidance counsellor Sophie Devereaux who may or may not be a con-woman laying low for a few years.

-Econ teacher Nate who will explain the economy and the market and also how marketing schemes and con-men work and if you ask the right questions at the right time and distract him BOOM your lesson is now a history of epic heists class.

[innytoes]

-When Hardison finds out Parker is not officially enrolled, he Fixes That in the system, making sure to forge her some nice grades for the classes she doesn’t take (nice, but nothing that will make her stand out.) He tries not to pry, because Parker tends to disappear when you pry too much, but he makes sure that whoever she lives with, they’re not hurting her. He thinks maybe she just has shitty foster parents, or some kind of Weird Religious Ones who want to homeschool her? She knows a lot about art and geography, okay, and she does fine with math, so clearly she’s got schooling.

-Eliot is the one who learns she lives in a Creepy Warehouse. She makes him promise not to tell Hardison, because he will make Sad Eyes and possibly get Nana involved. Eliot is like: YOU OWN A WAREHOUSE? HOW? WITH WHAT MONEY. No no don’t tell me I don’t want to know. He makes sure she’s safe and comfortable and goes home to punch his punching bad in the basement because DAMMIT HE PROMISED NOT TO TELL HARDISON but maybe Nana should be involved because that can’t be healthy.

-Various teachers spend a year trying to get Parker to go to the guidance counsellor. She needs some kind of help, they agree. 

-Parker only actually goes when Eliot and Hardison ask her to the winter formal, and she’s like: YOU GIVE PEOPLE ADVICE RIGHT HELP ME I WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR THE DANCE. And Sophie is all: um that’s not the kind of advice they mean but also I am not going to turn down giving fashion advice come in what can I do for you.

-And Parker tried to ask Nana, and Nana is sweet and kind and told her feel-good stuff like ‘wear something that makes you feel pretty’ and ‘you will look great no matter what you wear, dear, don’t let yourself get caught up thinking you need some expensive dress’.

-But that doesn’t help, she doesn’t know what to wear, what makes her feel pretty is her jeans and the shirt she stole from Hardison and Eliot’s second-favourite flannel because they preen when she wears them. But those aren’t Dance Clothes and she wants to look nice but also not stand out and also not wear uncomfortable shoes.

-So she sits down with Sophie and explains all that and then is like: so I need something to wear with THIS. 

-And she pulls out this necklace. And Sophie is like: Is That The Bismarck Sapphire??? And Parker is like: Eliot says blue brings out my eyes.

-And Sophie, momentarily forgetting she is a Guidance Counsellor, asks her like: HOW DID YOU GET PAST X SECURITY MEASURE AT THE SMITHSONIAN and then Parker looks at her and Knows. Sophie is like her.

-And then they spend like, 25 minutes gossiping about Stealing Shit before Sophie pulls up some websites and shows her some lovely dresses that would look nice with her necklace. 

-And from then on, Parker goes to visit Sophie regularly, usually with some cool anecdote about a thing she stole like it’s show and tell, until Sophie gently tells her she’s welcome even without that, she doesn’t have to ‘pay’ for advice, and she helps Parker with stuff like How Do I People and also How Do I Pass This Exam When I’m Stealing A Thing Downtown The Night Before.

[drst]

So Bonnano is the principle, right?

[ekjohnston]

Bonnano is Vice Principal. He doesn’t know HOW all this happens, but it happens. Sterling is the Principal, having support from the Superintendents that Nate was never able to get.

[knightcathar]

“The phrase ‘Someone ought to do something’ was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used it never added the rider ‘and that someone is me’.”

-Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

[symfoniauczuc]

[cosmos-kitty]

I made a little drawing of the sparkly space kitty! ✨

[lucys]

Visit Original Link

the Mountain Goats - “Foreign Object” Live at City Winery 12/04/2015

Sink my teeth into your scalp, take a nice big bite Save nothing for the cameras, play the angles all night One of these days my legs will both snap like twigs If you can’t beat ’em make ‘em bleed like pigs I’m gonna jab you in the eye with a foreign object I’m gonna stab you in the eye with a foreign object

[returnsandreturns]

i think this is maybe a better mood for 2019 than “this year,” honestly

[blvckwidow]

I want the ot3 to steal a college. Obvs it’s a private college and it’s charging a ton of money and its president is making a ton and the dorms are awful and need renovation and the scholarships are getting cut for the higher ups to pad their pockets. So the team has to go to school or become professors or something. And Eliot IMMEDIATELY becomes the new hot prof (cause ofc Eliot puts him on those prof rating websites and def makes sure to include how hot he is) and Parker gets to be like an admissions person so she has the tour guides to work with and Hardison ends up in the IT which is full of computer nerds and he gets distracted playing games w them and bonding.

Anyway they end up getting the prof fired and making sure that the dorms get updated and when Eliot leaves his professor post about half the school mourns lmao

[miss-sarahamanda]

God bless you, sweet soul, for the mental image of hot professor Spencer I’ll be falling asleep to, tonight! 

[blvckwidow]

I think my fave part abt it is that 1. Eliot def sees all of the students as WAY TOO YOUNG so he doesn’t realize when they’re flirting w him cause he just. Cannot compute or entertain the idea that they’d be interested or think he was interested and 2. He’s so happy w Hardison and Parker he also doesn’t even think abt the students flirting w him. All the students are half inlove w him and there’s many a Facebook comment/status/Snapchat about how ‘HOT the history professor is. Seriously it’s NOT FAIR!’

Hardison thinks it’s hilarious. Parker just agrees with them when she hears abt it

[caffeinatedinsanity]

What would he teach I could see him as a great history professor

[innytoes]

Either that or something about modern global politics so he looks in the textbooks and is like: oh is that the coverstory? Okay then! Sure.

[blvckwidow]

Omfg I LOVE that idea lmao. That’s so funny. And he’d say it out loud and the students would just stare at him and he’d be like “I mean, come on you guys know that most of this is bull. Countries are always unseating and destabilizing governments” and suddenly the class has turned into Government Conspiracies 101

[wishuponadragon]

The thing is though, everything he teaches is very accurate and factual. He was involved in half of it, why should he not tell them how it really went down?

None of the students know if he’s messing with them or not, but the few that are curious enough to search for some of the stuff he tells them find more and more compelling evidence for it. Students that aren’t in his class show up because they want to see the hot professor who may or may not have personally helped destabilize at least a dozen systems of government.

Elliott is the only professor to have a class attendance of 106%. He is very proud of this because he knows it’s hard to capture the attention of apathetic college students and hopes they learn something from the class, like how to spot signs of illicit activity in larger political going-ons.

One class, he takes a break to demonstrate how to evenly pan sear a steak with a point heat source, i.e. a Bunsen burner.

He tests them on all of it.

[blvckwidow]

This addition is fucking beautiful thank you

[byeronman]

if yondu were still alive then that battle in wakanda would’ve ended in five minutes tops while no diggity played in the background

[nico-robin-official]

Yondu died because he had the most overpowered ability and could solo the entirety of The Avengers without even moving.

[see-arcane]

#thanos: u shouldve gone for the head :)#yondu: yeets his musical arrow straight thru t hanos’ skull (via @mechalesbian)

[katsuko1978]

Thor: Oh. Well. Thank you, father of Quill.

Yondu: You’re welcome. Now where is that dipshit boy a mine, I wanna check in on my grandtwig.

[racheltheclumsy]

We were robbed

[quomododragon]

So one of our new vocabulary words is “malus”, meaning “bad”, and I asked my students if they could think of any English derivatives, telling them that just about any English word that begins with M-A-L is going to mean something “bad”.

I’m expecting stuff like: malice, malcontent, malnourished, or even malware or Maleficent.

Instead I get this one girl in the back of the room say “male” with the most dead-eyed expression.

[quomododragon]

This has the same energy as two years ago when another student said she remembered “vir” meant “man” because “it looks like virus, and men are a virus”.

[mygenitiveisobjective]

One of my Latin students, whenever I’d ask if they wanted a couple extra minutes to review before a test, would always say, “No, we die like men.” And so finally I asked her why it was always ‘like men’. She said, “We die like men, unprepared and useless.”

[adonischildsupportcase]

[swingsetindecember]

when the klyntar makes first contact and eddie brock is a reporter at the summit filling in for peter parker and ends up starting an international incident by bonding with venom. cue alien courtship 

[sophielostandfound]

omg jen, OMG. do we have like, ambassadors and officials trying to deal with the political and interplanetary fallout while eddie is kinda confused and the symbiote is acting like ‘really y'all should chill, this first contact could have gone WAY worse, leave us alone, my human is getting anxious’

[swingsetindecember]

eddie suddenly becomes famous. like more famous than the brock report ever was. and like venom appears at the united nations and is like, “we like earth now” and the trade delegation is scrambling to make an agreement that benefits earth and klyntar. eddie is confused and like trying to normalize the situation by denying his feelings 

[sophielostandfound]

because nothing helps a bizzaro situation like denying your feelings! is there like an official after the fact bonding ceremony broadcast to the universe? bc that feels right

[swingsetindecember]

dan is part of the team of doctors with dora. and you have drake leading the entrepreneurs trying to maximize the trade deal. and eddie is running away from his feeling while venom is enamoured to have found the perfect host.