-Most of the time, when she's afraid, it's for reasons she either can't say, or for reasons that don't make sense, or reasons that do, but she doesn't have the heart or the mental capacity to elaborate on them or admit them out loud. But these days, it's the little things that catch her in her most unguarded moments. It's the little lies she tells on a daily basis by saying nothing at all, the thought that the two people she's trusted with the majority of the story don't know all the gritty details, they don't even know some of the blatant ones that she couldn't say, and as much as they do know, they'll never know what the blood looked like on her hands, what she thought of herself when it was done, they'll never know her family member's last words that she swore to bury with them, and though it's a stable truth to move past those details, the lies still exist and they chip away at her slowly. And when it comes to Gavin, she's terrified. She's terrified that one day she'll spin off back into her own brand of literal insanity, and she's terrified that as tightly as he tries to hold her, he won't be able to hold her together, and she's terrified that she'll drag him along with her, and some of the time it feels like their unspoken fears are battling against each other, like thoughts with subliminally frightened messages. But she still presses against him when he wraps his steady arm around her, because he's still so safe, and if she can hold onto this, maybe she has nothing to be afraid of after all-
