Okay the episode "Back to the kindergarten" Season 5 ep 8... Am I looking too much into the theme of the episode... Or does it speak of how to let go and move on? Like how Peridot wanting life back in the kindergarten is similar to her wanting the barn and Lapis back... Basically telling her to move on to fresher areas and focus on other people? Like she can't keep focusing on what happened but she can choose to look for others that will make her happy?
Hi there! I’m rather fond of that episode, and before anything I wouldn’t say that it qualifies as “overthinking” at all! When art is put out there, it does not solely belong to its creators any more. Your take on the episode is how I’d read Peridot’s character development as well.
The desire to have something grow in the Kindergarten is more than just wanting Lapis and the barn back. Recall that making things come alive in Kindergartens is what Peridot was created to do. Being a “Certified Kindergartener” was a point of pride for her, and a huge part of her identity. When she was stranded on Earth with no allies and no hope of being rescued, the one thing that helped her gain some sense of independence and re-humanisation was when she went with Steven and Amethyst to the Kindergarten in Too Far. Before that, she was leashed to a post, her incendiary statements were dismissed or led to punishment instead of educating her and helping her unlearn what she’s believed her entire life.
The Peridot of today derives her identity from so much more than just making Gems pop out of the ground. Farming had become a way to combine her past, all her knowledge about soil material and making things grow, with sustainability and a newfound appreciation for organic life, something Peridot hinted at in Message Received.
Wanting the flowers to grow in the Kindergarten on the most immediate level was about gaining some semblance of routine and familiarity. Her “home” was gone, and the crops that she had cultivated and nurtured around it would always have that gaping hole close by, reminding her of what wasn’t there anymore. The Kindergarten was her old “home.” It was where she started out her journey on Earth and where she began to find her place with the other Crystal Gems. She may have thought that she could reinstate some sort of new home now that her real home was gone.
Of course, it’s more complicated than that. Home wasn’t just the physical barn and the crops. It also involved having someone like Lapis, someone with whom she could learn about the ways of Earth. As different as they were, Peridot was right in saying that they were in the same position: they had nowhere else to go.
Her presence was something that no physical place could fill. That’s why even after “moving in” to the Gem Temple, Peridot saw no reason to try making the space her own, the way she did the barn.
Another thing is that Peridot can be very absorbed into her work. Having something to do can give her tunnel vision. She regards good work ethic and competence highly. Outcomes and results are important to her very pragmatic mind. Working together with the Crystal Gems to stop the Cluster was precisely how the Steven was able to reach out to her.
So aside from creating a space of familiarity, Peridot was also looking for a distraction. She could focus on the new farm and spend all her time and energy on it, leaving herself no time to miss Lapis, the barn, and the comfortable Earth life she had finally settled into.
She says as much,
I was pretty much using this as a distraction from losing Lapis, losing the barn, and just a general sense of complete hopelessness I tend to deal with on a day-to-day basis.
Source: SU Wiki
It’s striking to me that amid this internal struggle to fill in the holes left by Lapis’ departure, Peridot blames herself. Conversely, we have Amethyst saying, “Wow, you were right. This place really is dead.” Amethyst is saying that it’s the ground, and not the farmer that prevented anything from growing.
On the other hand, Peridot directs the responsibility towards herself. Now that her home was gone, she returned to tying her self-worth with her ability to get things done, in this case, making something grow in the Kindergarten.
This clod’s just like us! Too dumb to get with the program!
Source: SU Wiki
Initially, we think she’s going to blame the quality of the soil or the Earth for being unable to sustain life in the Kindergarten, but in the end, it’s a simile for herself.
It should be noted that when Peridot is talking about the general feeling of hopelessness that’s pervading her day-to-day activities, it’s more than just losing Lapis and the barn. Homeworld is coming, and they’re angry. To Peridot, the Crystal Gems have a very real chance of losing this one, and the Gem who has offered her the greatest solace recently, has left.
In Raising the Barn, Peridot was already on the fence about taking Steven’s advice. She didn’t want to leave Earth, but she didn’t want to lose Lapis. Peridot isn’t amazing at reading people, but she’s lived with Lapis long enough that she knows what sets Lapis off. It’s a testament to the efforts she’s made to understand her Barn Mate.
Given that, she also knows that Lapis’ coping mechanism is to shut everyone out and burn bridges to survive.
But it really only confirmed to me that once you mess something up, it’s ruined for good and nothing will ever be able to grow again.
Source: SU Wiki
The thing is, Peridot probably knew that Lapis would have left with or without her. She knew the risk of speaking her mind and she obviously knows how much the life they were living meant to her. That she did says a lot about how she values life on Earth and it’s something for another post.
At the heart of the endeavour, Peridot wanted to fix what was broken. When she sees the fields of sunflowers, she says that she wanted that for the Kindergarten. She wanted everything to be okay.
The thing is, we can’t control everything. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want to. And I like that the Kindergarten was what was used for this. Sometimes, there’s just a context, a background, some baggage that we didn’t really cause, but now we’re there and living in the aftermath.
Peridot didn’t strip the Kindergarten of all life. She didn’t cause Lapis to fear trusting others. She didn’t cause the tension between Earth and Homeworld. But all these things were happening. Though her confession to Lapis may have played a role in putting her in the situation everyone was in now, it was by no means the sole cause of it.
Understanding that is a big step in accepting that there are just things that won’t always work out in our favour. And I do think that by the end of the episode, that was what was running through Peridot’s head.



















