Récité'd

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How to fit a mountain in your suitcase #Tallinn edition #luglog (at Tallinn, Estonia)

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The housemate. #Lucy

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#packing: a work in progress. ✈️ #luglog (at Mooste Mois)

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Alright this is getting real… #movingout (at Nether Edge (ward))

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Stuff is moving. #luglog

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Lots of #purple.

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Raft at Sea

We were on a small raft in the middle of a sunny and overall quite relaxed sea. A somewhat distressed man reached us with a raft using a soaked sweatshirt as sails. We just joined our boats and ended up feeling more solid. The general feeling was simply to go on. There were no doubts.

Then we reached the shore. M was there, and she supported me in everything that I did. I felt incredibly privileged.

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The Room Upstairs

I was living in a long apartment in a dense city. I took my shower in the bathroom with a window that opened on a closeby brick wall. Somebody was waiting for my instructions.

I went outside for some informations. Outside stairways like MTL. There was some light snow. I was barefoot. Found a swiss knife on the way up.

Was teaching music. I think.

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The Catastrophy

It was horrible. My mum was killed in a car accident. I didn’t feel it was unjust, but I felt robbed of my biggest support. I felt alone and I wanted my mum to have happier experiences of life than what she had. I wanted her to see my life here, as she had been so good to me. I was sitting outside, looking at a green field and my beautiful house sending regular smoke from a nice warming fireplace, and cried excessively loudly because I so desperately wanted her to be there to enjoy it with me. Plus, my dad was already gone, so I didn’t want to be left alone.

My uncles were there and thought it was sad too, wanted to help but they were in no way as close as my mum was. They didn’t understand me as much either. I’m VERY glad it was just a dream, but now I don’t want to be left with the feeling of it. I want it to disappear. I want to be having positive emotions now. I want my mum to be there for all the successes to come, I want to share it with her so she can enjoy every bit of happiness I have and will want to share. I love her and she has so much to give to the world still, I want her to live long, healthy, happy, loving and prosperous.

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The Piano

I walked into a room were I was excellently and passionately playing piano while giving pedagogic explanations within the music. 

I was running out of oil. Went grocery shopping; was offered cereal with insistance.

My friend MA was asked to audition for fioritures embellishments for a TV show and did very well; purple orchids were blooming one after the other. Claire Underwood smiled at me with a strong, pulp, lush, plum lipstick when I referred a Japanese restaurant to her on London road.

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The Big Cats

Was in sort of a jungle? Big cats wandering around that possibly could be tamed.

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The Sea

I had moved houses from another that I knew very well. I felt completely at home and comfortable, hygge to use a danish word. Just before coming home I walked by a nice calm beach where there were happy, cheery girls. Everything just felt right. Light was a bit dim, sort of like at the end of the day… but everything felt warm and comforting and restful and relaxing.

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The Party

I was home in MTL and had been for a while, and people acted like they didn’t know… actually I knew it, but it didn’t feel so. Probably because it actually isn’t so. Heh!

It was Christmas time, my mum was serving all these delicious small tapas-like servings, it was great, I felt great, I was enjoying it so much. I had my perished black balsam too, in my room.

It was a very dense house party and although I was my age, it really felt like the beginning of the 90s for some reason. I saw a couple become overly sexual on my bed and I didn’t really appreciate the invading of personal space.

I didn’t feel like I had my own space in this crowd, but being at home with my mum and her food bites made me feel more confident.

Also eventually stared into some magical being’s eyes, their skin was glowing and sparkly, sort of blue-ish/green-ish, and they focused on their heart and became a sparkly ball of light as a spirit of nature.

They told me, to be the fairy that I am, I have to do the same, reach into my heart and focus on that ball of light. And I’ll glow with the same sparkling light and show that I am a fairy. So I tried.

At first it seemed so very hard and demanding. But I actually understood it didn’t have to be hard, you just have to “let it be”.

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Gold

I was in a very dark, slimy, dirty, filthy crappy place where every once in a while I’d pee in an uncomfortable toilet bowl. In that same place, my ex was leaving me for a blonde bimbo, and I really couldn’t have been more indifferent, because I didn’t care for either of them. I didn’t see the point of him even mentioning anything to me.

Then, C announced that my uncle had cooked very well some (pork?) meat, and my mum found a gold nugget in it. She hid it in a pillow. It was worth 700 000$.

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The Planets

Basement? Child playing, plants around. Lots of wood in the house. Someone else's family. I'm not sure what I was doing there. Probably just playing with the child.

After having worked on making sure a humungous ship (i.e. spacerocket) was properly functional, we went on board to visit different planets.

On one, we had air circulation problems, but the crew fixed it before we knew it. The sky was orange and eerie. Some people wanted to get out and visit the planet, but apparently if you stepped out you'd burn to ashes instantly; it was that hot.

On the other, at night, we would see infinitely more stars in the sky than on Earth. It was magical.

On another, there were strong solar winds that we had to brace ourselves for. I don't know how good or harmful these solar winds were supposed to be, but they sure were powerful.

I was also fencing in a dark place at some point. Then I went to my friend G’s place for her birthday and there was something church-like about it. The house was very big, very richly decorated (almost like Christmas), with tall bay windows letting the sunlight in — and that light was very wintry) We were sitting at a table too far from us, and a bench way too high (like the 2nd or 3rd floor of the house), with no ground below us. I was uneasy and I could see G was too. Her mother was being a bit judgemental about the guests too, no particular reason.

 Then I received an e-mail from X telling me (and a handful of other people) that I was to start my very own new album.

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The Hallways

The school was like a series of dark wooden hallways with painted glass windows, letting only a little bit of sun in. You pretty much could live inside those walls. I felt like I did, or forgot that there was a world out there. The hallways had some doors leading to (again, dark) common rooms with old TV sets and worn couches where people sometimes work and where I was supposed to do my composition. Don’t know how that worked. Seemed I’d spend my nights there forgetting what time it was and/or sleeping.

It was like a very small back alley and these common rooms were like flats.

My teacher was there. He looked young, with thick, fair hair. His skin looked soft, smooth and healthy, like he was in his early 20s. He too worked incessantly. He could be behind those walls from 6AM to 10PM. But on that particular day, he took a few hours break to go do some sport.

I just stayed there trying to work, having a bit forgotten how to be productive.

It’s only in the end that I remembered I actually lived in another place. I enjoyed my home much more. It’s a lot brighter, cleaner, and there I have my personal space. It feels more restful, too.

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The Lawyer

I had found an apartment for A near the Stadium. We met on la Plaza St Hub and she was really happy to see me, and really liked the place. I was pleased obviously, but I can't remember why I did all of that.

When I went to have a shower, it gushed out blood. I was disgusted, as one may well be. When I went to pee next to the shower, there was blood as if it was my periods. 

We were to meet a lawyer and I photocopied his CV, which in the end appeared to be of the utmost banality. We then visited homes that lacked salubrity with the lawyer. Not sure what he was going to do. I peed there, and there were what seems to be parasites (poisson d'argent?) proliferating. Again, I was grossed out. We figured it must have been an animal that got stuck in the bloody shower… Because surely it couldn't be a human? 

I went looking for my cat, hoping he hadn't got himself in there. He was fine.

Randomly met V in the métro station Berri-U. She suggested we go back to my place to write & drink my red wine that I’ve kept for months. I agreed, thought it was a great idea.