Secrets of Forever

"I'm gonna be seventeen until the end of the world!" Jesse Tuck has lived long and seen much. Eternally youthful and nearly carefree, he lives for adventure. But his family's great secret and pains of his own help keep him grounded. Indie rp for Jesse Tuck from Tuck Everlasting. Multiverse & Multiship. Fcs: Jonthan Jackson & Kaya Scodelario. Tracks the tag 'recklesseternalabandon'. Mutuals Only

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Tuck Everlasting Theme Song

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The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning. The weeks that come before are only a climb from balmy spring, and those that follow a drop to the chill of autumn, but the first week of August is motionless, and hot. It is curiously silent, too, with blank white dawns and glaring noons, and sunsets smeared with too much color.

Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting   (via oleander8)

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“What about ME?! I’m here ain’t I? I chose you, didn’t I?!” She snapped from the door. “Or am I just as invisible to you as I am to the rest of the world?! And if you loved me, you’d understand!” 

“Go to hell! You want me gone? Fine! I’m gone! I’ll just spend eternity alone, not having even a chance of having a normal life!” 

Slamming the door shut behind her, she took off, barefoot toward the snowy blanket of the woods. If she walked enough, she could pass into Canada, and from there, Jesse could disappear to any corner of the world she wanted. No one would ever be able to find her. Not Jack, not Miles. And she could spend her unending life in solitude, the way God seemed to want her to.

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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“Yeah... Like... Like they ain’t forgot ‘bout you either. Wherever they are...” The tiny girl mused. 

“So, Dawson... How you feel ‘bout this ‘ere grand ol’ ship? Ain’t we just livin’ in the lap of luxury for once?” Jesse laughed, rolling her eyes. 

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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Jesse nodded in understanding. “Yeah... My niece loved when I drew things for her too. I almost gave it up for good after she died, but it was like Little Anna was dragging my hand out every time I tried.” Huh! She’d never told that to anyone before... Not even Miles, when he’d make some sort of slick comment about her ‘fingerpaints’. 

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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“Exactly!” Jesse beamed. It was so nice to finally have someone get it! Miles certainly never did. Hell, he never really seemed to get much of art in the first place. “So how long you been drawin’, Dawson?”

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“I’m a man of man talents.” Jesse grinned. “Art, music, writin’, speakin’ other languages. I’m a true renaissance man.” 

“You gonna go or play hooky?” He questioned, not lifting his eyes from the sketch. “Cause you ain’t got much time to decide.”

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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“I’m sure it wasn’t easy.” Jess mused, And truly it hadn’t been. But it was nice to create from a sense of happiness instead of pain. “But maybe it was a way to try and keep a sense of peace that most artists don’t know.”

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“Horse shit!” Jess snapped, fury clear on her face. “They’re only here cause they gotta be! They ain’t got a choice! They’re stuck with me, but ain’t a one of ‘em actually want me! Ma never even wanted me from the start! She said so herself! She looked at me and felt nothin’, Jack! Nothin’! I was just some cheap second best replacement for her precious Abby! Miles ain’t never wanted me! I’m nothin’ but a burden to him! Pa just looks at me and sees some dumb kid who can’t look after herself! If they had a choice, they wouldn’t have to put up with me! Havin’ people there ‘cause they gotta be ain’t the same as havin’ someone who wants to be! Am I not allowed to want love? To have someone actually stickin’ by me cause they choose to?” 

With every word, her rage and desperation grew, tears streaming down her cheeks and her voice rising. And when her fiance began to cry, Jesse’s heart shattered. Any delicacy she’d have tried to use went out the window. She was sick of people only lying to her and hurting her. Now, she was going hurt someone for a change. She’d wound before being wounded. She didn’t care about the repercussions now. 

“You know what, you’re right.” The girl spat, turning away from him and storming off toward the door. “I should have fuckin’ let you die!” 

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Isle of Skye, Scotland

photo via duncan

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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It took every bit of willpower in her not to crack up and keel over laughing right there. Oh, if only he knew the truth! “Monet, eh? Well, you got good taste.” Jesse told him, her cheeks tinting the slightest shade of pink. 

That time in her life, when Jesse had been ‘Monet’, and allowing her friend- the real Claude Monet- to take the credit, had been one of the most peaceful in her unbelievably long life. 

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“Ain’t worth fightin’ ‘bout? Ain’t worth fightin’ ‘bout!” Jesse shrieked back. “You try livin’ for centuries and then tell me it ain’t worth fightin’ ‘bout! You watch people all around you, whether you know ‘em or like ‘em or not, all die and never be one of ‘em! You watch life and society and the world ‘round you change knowin’ that you never will! You try bein’ a child forever, knowin’ that everythin’ you ever wanted ain’t ever gonna be yours! You try bein’ stuck bein’ all alone for eternity! Then you come to me and say that it ain’t worth fightin’ ‘bout!” 

“What ‘bout me, Jack! It ain’t bad enough that I lost Anna and the boys? That I lost Will! The baby, my friends! Now I gotta lose you too?! You gonna take the last thing I got too? You gonna make me face this alone ‘till the end of the world?! Cause if I lose you, I‘m fuckin’ done! I lost too much! I can’t lose no more! I ain’t made of stone you know! My heart can break just as much as yours! Bein’ immortal is hell on its own! But doin’ it alone, with no one by your side, no one to be there, it’s fuckin’ torture! You spend every god damn day wishin’ you were dead and knowin’ that like everythin’ else even that is only ever gonna be a dream! So yeah, I’m gonna fuckin’ be upset! I got every god damn right!” 

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Jesse scoffed and gave a soft laugh. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of Kimmy, but he was sure that she’d certainly be one of those people who there was never a dull moment around. 

“Well, I s’pose you’d have to actually participate for that to work there, Kimmy. Sometimes just showin’ up ain’t enough for people. But I mean, that’s up to you.” He said easily before shrugging. He couldn’t take gym anyway, so he couldn’t really say one way or another. 

When the bell rang, Jesse gathered up the remains of his lunch, tossed what he wouldn’t eat, tucked his lunchbag into his backpack and grabbed his book. “Well, guess it’s time. You ready?” He asked Kimmy. Upon getting to the gym, he sat around chatting with her until the bell rang for everyone to go change, and Jesse walked up to the teacher to give him his doctor’s note and explain his condition before returning to his things on the bleachers. 

“God, I’d kill for my piano right now. Guess I’ll have to settle.” He grinned, pulling out his sketch pad. 

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Ticking On |Jesse & Miles|

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“Oh hardy-har-har. You’re a real fuckin’ comedian.” Jesse spat. “Put me the fuck down! I ain’t 5 years old no more! You want me to act like an adult, how ‘bout you treat me like one for once? You treat a person like a damn kid and that’s how they’re gonna act!” 

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Ticking On |Jesse & Miles|

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Winded by the sudden action, Jesse squirmed. “What the hell! Put me down, you bastard! Let me go, Miles! Damn it, let go! You think this is funny or somethin’?” Balling up his fists, he punched and kicked at his brother, trying to get free. 

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Knocking at your Soul |Jack & Jesse|

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Jesse laughed even louder. “Now I know, you’re tryin’ to flirt with me, Dawson. Ain’t no one ever gonna say that ‘bout me!” 

As she looked through more of the book, Jess was amazed. She’d seen some great art. She made some great art. But Jack had a wonderful talent. “You could say that, I s’pose. So, you got a favorite artist?” 

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Turning her gaze back to the window, Jesse ignored her fiance. His words were just that. Words. She’d heard them all time and time again. So much so that they were just empty promises without meaning. 

But then he said it. The words that set her off. 

“Don’t you dare.” She growled. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare! I don’t understand your life! No! You don’t understand mine! You don’t get it do you? ‘Till death do us part’ don’t apply to me. Askin’ for my hand is askin’ for forever! Not a couple of decades! You think you’re the only one who lost family? What about my niece and nephews? What about my son? At least you have the option to see him again! How do you think I feel?! I’ll never see him! I’ll never be with him! I never even got to see or hold him before they took him from me!”

“Oh, nice! Thanks for that.” She continued, spitting venomously. “I risked revealing my secret to save your life and you don’t give a damn. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised!”