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Selected poems. Part 3.

Selected poems Part 2.

Selected poems Part 1.

Catharsis release post Catharsis is the first chapbook released by South African poet and writer, Cairo Mathebula. The book journeys the poet’s struggle with depression and anxiety in 5 chapters and exactly 42 poems. Mathebula has been writing this book over 2 years and after great persistence and resilience has been able to release the book amazon. This is only the first of many creative projects to come of the writer whom has been a published poet since she was 15 years old. Find below links to purchase the book as well as selected poems from the book: Kindle - https://www.amazon.com/Catharsis-Cairo-Mathebula-ebook/dp/B0779QG4NS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510435965&sr=8-1&keywords=cairo+mathebula Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Catharsis-Cairo-Mathebula/dp/0620715073/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1510435965&sr=8-2&keywords=cairo+mathebula

#Catharsis

My Inner Critic

I hold myself to an incredible often unattainable standard. I ask of my myself twice more than I would ever ask of anyone else. I expect every poem to my be new magnum opus. I am my loudest cheerleader. I am my toughest critic. My crude and incessant criticism drowned my songs of encouragement. My inner critic is my inner demon and has cursed me since I first wrote poetry. When I first picked up a pen, I already thought of myself as a Shakespeare and to be fair, I wrote like him too. I restricted my work to strict patterns and forms, writing for the stage, the page and everywhere in between. I honestly believed I was excellent and some publishers did too. I published poetry for the first time at 15 and haven't been featured in a magazine or anthology since I turned 17. After my first publication, my inner critic irked me like a monkey on my back, nothing I wrote afterward felt good enough. Every time I wrote, I kept doubting every line break, verse and full stop. I felt pressure to go further, to write better, be in bigger magazines, unfortunately that has yet to happen. I have yet to publish for a magazine, though I have received numerous offers. I started my publishing company in an attempt to silence my inner critic. The fear of rejection and the dread of editors notes no longer consume me. I no longer write for the glory but for the story. I write for those who care to read. Those whose who need to read. Those whose inner critics are as loud as mine.

#Poetry

(Cairo Writes)

South African Hip-Hop is in a beautiful renaissance period. We now more than ever before have a plethora of talented artists to choose from. The South African hip-hop sphere has such a huge variety of artists with their own unique style and flow, it made it difficult to choose just 10 songs for this next playlist. So I made a list of 10 songs that don't wont go unplayed at a South African party, enjoy:

#SoundCloud #music #Cairo Writes #Playlists

Ancient cities have always a certain inexplicable charm to me. As an old soul, i’ve always been attracted to anything that represents a time before my time or even better, a time before time itself. Istanbul is a city that his seen every era of the modern age. A city which goes by many names has outlived every movement, war and empire. The landscape left me inspired. Here is proof:

#Photography

My favorite part of traveling is the moments in between the awe where I get to reflect on my surroundings. Whether it’s staying on the observation deck on the highest building in the city or cruising on the highway, I take time out to absorb the world around me. After this, I take photos, here’s the evidence:

#Photography

Music saved my life

Music is an irreplaceable part of my existence. Music is an instrinsic part of how I experience the world, every one of my feelings and stories has a song to it. I can’t even look back to a time where music hasn't been a daily habit. In fact, for me, sharing music is a form of intimacy I only can only do with someone I truly love. In the most tumultous times of my life and music was the safest coping mechanism I had available. So this is short list of albums that saved my life: Childish Gambino - Because the internet I’m a real digital kid, not the kind that can side software or take a computer but the kind who has always been intrigued by the latest apps and gadgets. The internet has been an escape for me for as along as I can remember whether it was fashion blogs on tumblr or twitter accounts dedicated to depression. So when Childish Gambino released ‘Because The Internet”, I felt like I had an album to go home to. I related with Gambino’s music on a very deep level because he like me lived on a spectrum of blackness that wasn’t accepted society nor was it represented in the media. It’s been almost 4 years since the album was released and I still go back to track 14 when I need saving. Frank Ocean - Blonde/Nostalgia Ultra/ Channel Orange Frank Ocean is an artist that creates music as it if is his entire purpose. His pen and vibrato resonates on a somewhat spiritual level. I have never listened to an Ocean project and not changed as a person afterward. Every song has a deja vu like familiarity so close it feels as though it was written just for me. I relate with every song in different ways at different stages of my life. His music provided a sense of direction when I didn't know I was lost. Chance The Rapper - 10 day/Acid Rap An nonsense poet if there ever was one. Chance tells novel length stories in 3 minute songs. His flow creates an easy listening that has you lost and a subject matter that has you holding on every hook and verse. 10 day was the mixtape had every part of my teenage rebellion and adolescent anxiety. Acid Rap however, was world I could escape to when reality just go too real for me. I was skeptical at first but i’m so glad, I gave a chance to Chance The Rapper. Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid M.A.A.D City I could never for a moment truly empathize with Kendrick Lamar’s story. It is for that very reason why I loved listening to the Compton rappers sophomore album. GKMC allowed me to dance with my gun fingers in the air about gangs i’ve never seen and cry about situations that I could never experience. This album taught to have compassion for a world outside my own. Lamar taught me to truly listen, listen with compassion, with curiosity, without prediction to purely enjoy a different story. I could do a longlist of albums that have saved me but neither you nor I have the time to actually read further. These albums changed for better, for good. I hope they do the same for you.

When you need a reminder.

Rise and grind Living a 25 hour day doesn't happen without a fire soundtrack to keep you going. These are the song I play; riding on the subway, in the gym, at 3 a.m when I need to finish a project or the end of the month when my bank balance is looking peak. These songs keep me on my toes:

#Playlists #Home

a blogger with a taste for harmonies.

That Bitch Sometimes, on rare occasions, I forget that I am in fact THAT BITCH. On off days, I forget the strength of my juice. You knows those days, you get a stain on your favourite shirt, your phone didn't charge overnight, you left your train card at home and your insignificant other isn't replying like he used to. Yeah, those days are bummy but they are necessary, sometimes you need a drought to appreciate rainfall. This is a playlist of songs I bump on repeat to remind myself that I am in fact That Bitch:

#Playlists #Home

A photoshoot with a close friend at my Pretoria home.

#Photography #Home

A photoshoot with Moipone.

#Photography #Home

Lea came to visit.

#Photography #Home

19. I’m about to be 19 in an hour, what a weird age. 19 represents nothing, 19 has no milestone or major significance, 19 is just that. 19. What an interim age. A transition stage. A 1 year stop in a foreign airport. 19 is a waiting period. 19 is ‘on your marks’. 19 is the half time. 19 is a rest stop. 19 is a curse.19 is a blessing See, I’ve been reckless, as all my age mates have, reckless with; my body, my money, my time, my youth itself. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve fucked up. At least when I did, I fucked it up for myself, I fucked it up on my own accord. with no one else’s assistance. I’ve picked back up. I’ve seen the error in my ways. I don't regret any of my actions for without them I wouldn’t have the lessons that I share with you in this blog, in my poetry. Thank god for shots too many, thank heaven for the boys we kissed when shouldn't have and thank the creator for the test results we could have changed with 15 more minutes of studying. You know I thin I’m becoming my parents. I’m at that stage where all the annoying things my father told me as a child are starting to make sense. I’m at a point where I finally realise the significance in my mothers advice. I’m starting to look at minimalism as less of an aesthetic and more of a way of life. I’m growing up. I want less now but I want better. I want a better relationship with the few friends I have. I want more couture pieces and less fast fashion. I want one limousine to take me everywhere and not a full fleet in my parking lot. Lately,I’ve had a lot of time to myself. I no longer drown my thoughts with the presence of fast friends and commercial music. I’m so comfortable in my oneness, I no longer fear my solitude. In fact I indulge in the company of my better self. I talk less too, work more, work harder, work for myself. I prefer it that way. I’m 19. An age that means almost nothing to most of us. A year that marks the in between of two eras. My year of preparation. My year of practice. The year I move toward becoming the woman I want to be. I will mess up along the way. I will slip up. I will backtrack. I will take the long way there. That’s fine. After all I’m only 19.

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Why I kinda wanna be the Nelson Mandela of my generation

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