hi :3

girl filled with dread. she/her this is a vent blog for me, pls just block if u dont want to see <3 all luv

[redbull-imic]

intro ⋆.ೃ࿔*:

i have some problems with disordered eating … but i’ve found blogging to be a huge help as i have a lot of trouble opening up to my family about this and it helps me get my thoughts and feelings somewhere other than inside and i can talk to ppl who relate in some way, so lets be moots !!

sideblog @livwasalsohere

tw!! i am going through a relapse rn and don’t want anyone triggered! obviously everyone is welcome but be responsible for urself pls <3 be warned! stats (and more ab me) below the cut …

i’m into a lot of stuff bc i haven’t looked away my phone since i was about 8 lol

i like adult animation shows and cartoons! i’m a fan of anime and visual novel games and my other hobbies include watching succession edits and streaming lorde’s album virgin (can u tell i’m really cool and have a bunch of friends)

talk to me about stuff if u want!! doesn’t have to be ed related :p i’m open to any kind of convo u have !!

stats ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

this is here not to trigger anyone, but to keep track of myself, as this blog is for me.

height: 5'0

sw: 57, cw: 48.7

gw1: 55☑️, gw2: 50☑️

gw3: 45, gw4: 40

considering 45 is not even underweight for my height … ugw: 39 ☕️

[redbull-imic]

hey … june 2026 update

i’m doing extremely well :) after the hospitalisation a few months ago i was in such a bad place because i was so unhappy with how i look and it has definitely been a LOOOOONG few months, but now that college isn’t stressing me out so badly and i’m happier i am in a much better place. anyone who has followed me i hope you find yourself to be in a better place too <3 take care

fyi not being on tumblr helps a lot lol

💗.

[redbull-imic]

nobody wants to hang out with me even when i’m not miserable from not eating. i really wish i didn’t even exist

[redbull-imic]

coming to the edt is top three worst experiences

seeing another girl with an ed irl takes the cake

i always feel so embarrassed at myself

[redbull-imic]

is it impossible for me to attract a man because i’m too bleh now

[redbull-imic]

15/2/26 - update 🎭

im rlly not doing good :(( having a lot of relationship issues with essentially everyone i know and am planning a r3l4pse starting tomorrow (monday) until sunday. ill take lax to flush my system and feel clean and happy again. my dad would never let this fly so im gonna stay at my mums for the week🕯️

[redbull-imic]

tryna eat an entire cake in the cubible at college and some hoe is vaping next to me pls girl i need to be sick can u stop blowing delicious yummy smoke into my nostrils

[redbull-imic]

i can’t wait to go back to college on tuesday so i can stay under 1000 again 🥳🥳

[redbull-imic]

update 15/01/25 !!

i’m back :33 so rn i am in forced recovery and being monitored by my dad, it’s been pretty hard but i’m trying to throw myself into it because i know my issues have been hard on my family. i still find a lot of comfort in tracking myself even though i’m not always happy with the intake :/

wiat

some bran flakes - 150

mcdonalds - 620

lollipop - 40

chilli and rice - 650

total - 1460 kcal

after breakfast i nearly fainted whilst out shopping so i ate a lot more today so i’d feel less dizzy 😬

[redbull-imic]

i cannot believe all my progress has gone to absolute shit while i’ve been here i’m so cooked

[redbull-imic]

no way i just purged in a hospital fuck my chungus life man

[redbull-imic]

holy shit i got admitted for refeeding FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[redbull-imic]

yh just knocked back two more cans within 30 mins of buying them note to self don’t have coke zero in the fridge you have NO CONTROL UGHHHHHHHHHHH

[redbull-imic]

wiat + updates … 🐚

so i didn’t eat anything yesterday and today all i’ve had so far was a large coke zero from mcdonald’s which has made me so disappointingly bloated and i’m very mad but i was dying of thirst genuinely

actually also being threatened with being taken to a&e because that’s what camhs is telling my parent to do but my weight is in a healthy range rn so i’m not too scared because there’s no way they’ll do anything drastic lol

[redbull-imic]

wiat :3 ☕️

chicken wings and chips: 1300 kcals

i’m guessing based on the portion

but i did blehhhh most of it tbh …

sweetened tea: 30 kcals

[redbull-imic]

i hate when im brought food like its so patronising if i want food i can go and get it myself fuck off

[redbull-imic]

nye went so badly i didn’t even watch the stranger things finale yet