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An Open Letter to People Scared of Failure

Few words are whispered quieter than the tides of failure. People lie and pretend they've toppled Olympus, and others turn already full-grown Bengal tigers into manticores. There is no stop to exaggeration, but success is a fallacy. Nobody admits to defeat, not in our culture. I've only rarely been given words of support, especially when I was younger. I'm certainly not the bottom of my class, but I've never seen the light at the top, either. School is harsh with grading us sometimes, and almost always during midterm examinations. I've failed midterm examinations, and I've gone on to fail the mocks after, and I've damn near come close to failing the board examinations. My parents were livid, my coaching tutors baffled, and my school teachers exasperated. Nobody told me it was okay to fail, or that failure doesn't reflect your abilities or who you are. So many of us feel the constant pressure of needing to succeed, of wanting to quiet our parents' criticism. So many of us fall just short in the eyes of ones we struggle to impress. I am not sure I have ever made anyone proud with my effort, and I am not quite sure if that is my fault. The standards are high in our school and our country. We pretend we don't care when we do terrible because everyone else is doing terrible, but deep down you're disappointed in yourself. What happens when you continue to trip and stumble, while everybody else walks steadily? Your friends will do better than you and move forward, while you stand alone as an island on the wild seas of your future. I will graduate soon, and I will take my shortcomings with me. The rest of you however, my juniors especially, you have so much yet to come. You have a chance to get through the tough and turbulent times ahead unscathed, and I hope you do. I don't know many of you, and maybe I never will, but I want you to know that in case you fail, in case you scrape your knees on the road to success, or you feel as if every rejection from a university is like a dagger in your heart, that it's okay. Bless you if your parents are understanding and supportive, but if they are not and they do not understand your effort, then know that at least I do. I believe in your inconquerable spirit, and the notion that failure is disgraceful is a disgraceful notion in itself. Be prepared to fail, and then be prepared to succeed. When it's your turn to graduate, don't curse yourself for not trying hard enough, because you are good enough and you always will be. Remember your effort and be proud of yourself for trying as much as you did. We're all too young to have regrets. To my friends who have yet to apply to university, or yet to be accepted, you know not what the future holds. Grieve if you must if you are rejected, but do not be ashamed of yourself, and do not wish you were smarter or more capable, because I don't know any number of people more talented, ambitious or wonderful than you. Good luck, to all of you.

-Anonymous, Class of '15

Seconds

Moving is never easy, especially when you’re a kid. You have to say goodbye to friends, make new ones and get used to the new environment. It’s even harder when you are dropped into a culture that you barely know with a language that you hardly speak. For me that was a reality. Even after migrating to Bangladesh, I school-hopped a few times before finally landing in Scholastica. Unfortunately, my life wasn’t a movie plot and life did not magically get better. My status as an outsider that spoke little Bangla made me an easy target. I have to say, schoolkids are vicious little monsters. But I digress. I faced my fair share of challenges in Scholastica but I took away from it an excellent group of friends. Individually we are all different but somehow we were all bound in friendship. During those cafeteria hangouts I wouldn’t have noticed it but in retrospect it seems much clearer. Sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by my friends and talking about everything and nothing, that was a moment of contentment. It was a moment where I felt I truly belonged and the world didn’t feel like a terrifying place. Forgive me for being poetic about it, but it was a respite on life’s journey in my second home with my second family. I have yet to experience that moment again. Even if I do, it won’t be the same. But I think that’s how things are supposed to be. -Sharhan Manir

Hello, Strangers!

I cried on my orientation day of class 9. I went to STM hall, saw the only name I actually recognized on my section list was my own and that was when it hit me. So, I went back home, and I cried- because apparently I was still 5 on the inside and so totally not treating this with maybe just a little touch of girly melodrama. Oh no, wait. I actually went back home, called my best-friend and then we both cried on the phone thinking what a shit period of two years we have ahead of us with complete strangers. Well, maybe not complete strangers. There was the girl who had bitched about me (or so I had been told) in eighth grade, the boy who had asked me out online and things had gotten all awkward after that even though we were pretty good friends and after which we pretty much stopped talking completely and a few people here and there that Id known since childhood but had not conversed with in YEARS. I wish, I could say that all my theories were proven wrong and that the very first day that my foot touched the threshold of my section I was dragged inside with warm, welcoming hands and childhood friends totally became all chummy again and we sat squashed together with happy smiles thinking oh shit man this is awesome- No. It was.. Even worse. I was totally bitchy to the girl who had apparently bitched about me, averting my eyes away quickly from said boy who had asked me out and simply awkward to a point that even the silence wasn't welcomed. My solace came in the form of my cousin's wedding soon after, for which I was out of town and also duly grateful to not just be sitting mute sharing stiff smiles with people in my section for 6-7 hours,everyday. While the wedding soon became a fun blur, my days going to school became solid. Gradually, I started recognizing people. There was the boy who did physics classes with me- more like was great in physics and Id ask him for his answers during every exam.. Then there was another one who actually went in the same school bus as I! Oh, and there was also the other girl who I was actually really close with from class 2 to like class 4 before she moved away to another campus. I also started doing magic tricks with this guy who literally believed he was a magician. And then, there was that obnoxious boy whose life goal seemed to be to annoy me, all the time. Then, changes evolved and I did indeed start being welcomed in my section with warm hands dragging me in, sitting squashed together and grinning from ear-to-ear like dorks. We were crazy; bunking classes together to play badminton on the court in open sight of our teacher, singing so proudly like a beautiful orchestra (not really, no), playing charades with an aggression that would fail world-cup players, and laughing and laughing till our stomachs hurt and still laughing some more. That girl I hated become my closest girlfriend in that section, that boy I was all awkward with started sharing chattering phone calls with me every other day. And that obnoxious boy actually started offering his tiffin to me.. I loved loved LOVED class 9. Sure, I made all sorts of nasty and foul predictions start of the year and convinced myself I'd be sitting all alone in the front corner bench for the rest of the session and regretting even my choice of O'levels for this and whatnot. But, I loved it. I made the best of friends I never thought I would end up making and shared some of THE most amazing memories. Now, school's ending. It's ending in literally two months and I'm still in denial that we'll be graduating. I have had my fair share of priceless and precious years that I have shared with my childhood girlfriends and close friends but class 9 was a turning point like no other. When I didn't have my bestfriends in the same section to sit by me, you all (you know who you guys are) are what made 9-G, home. I'll be forever content with the love you guys have given me, irrespective of where we end up and how. So, Thankyou school, for giving me the best section I could ever hope for. I love you 9-G and I love you, Scholastica. -Roshni Shamim

Adrenaline

Lub,dub, lub,dub.

My heart was beating fast anderratic. I looked at the referee. He blew his whistle in slow motion. Everything had slowed down to a glacial pace. I exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, looked at the ball in my hand.

“In the name of the Father, the son and the Holy spirit.” I made a cross over my heart and touched my fingers to my lips. God help me. I started dribbling on the wooden floor. The ball moved up and down, up and down.

Thump, thump, thump.

I exhaled. I inhaled. There was no other sound. Tossed the ball upwards and hit it with all my might. It flew effortlessly over the net.

Thank God.

I ran forward, took my place, knees bent, senses alert, high on adrenaline.

Oh God, don’t let me miss.

The opponent player smashed and the ball flew right into my hands at lightning speed. I received and passed the ball onto my team-mates. Then it was back to my original position. She smashed again and I received. She smashed and I received. It was just between us. The crowd ‘oooo’-ed and ‘aaahhhh’-ed and I had never felt so alive, never felt so at home than in that moment; representing my school, my country and myself. This is why I had started playing in the first place: for the rush, for the high, for the glory. I had started playing for this MOMENT.

- Norma Hilton

The beginning:

It was a monday afternoon, around two months after my arrival. I was always a bit solitary, so I hadn't completely opened up to my friends yet. We still had a class in the last period, so we couldn't go home just yet. We were having a chat, with me being obviously stiff. Then a friend of mine abruptly started to sing, loudly. Everyone else joined him and after a moment's hesitation, so did I. We sang for about 5 minutes before we heard the footsteps approaching, filled with anger and righteous Scholastican justice. We all made off to the nearest staircase and in another 5 minutes, we were safely camouflaged in the hubbub of the cafeteria. We looked at each other, and laughed our ("backside" used for maintaining public decency: Editor) off. It was at that moment I knew I would be friends with them for life. I have not been proven wrong yet.           

- Muhtadi Munawar Zahin

Last Days As #23:

Five years playing basketball in the Scholastica School team has amounted to this very moment. This moment where I take a deep breath and realize that this is it. My last two months in school - my last two months on the team. I told myself in class 7 that I had a lot of time to improve and that I'd own the court by grade 12. Woah - looks like the clock ticked a bit too fast. This whole journey has honestly been amazing. I have had the privilege of seeing legends like Sameen Ahsan dish out some great passes on the red court, had THE Aseef Khan teach me the basics of pick and roll and have had the chance to play beside Nuhayr Hafiz. Most of all though, I've been lucky enough to have had Muba, aka Mubtasin Quader, as a captain and a teammate. (Muba, wipe that smile off your face.) All of these people have taught me about teamwork, being humble and the importance of working hard for what you want. But for my last year as part of the team, I would like to highlight my current teammates (Guys, you da' best). I have played a number of tournaments but SIBT 2014 has definitely been the best one so far. Even though we could not get the Winning title but THANK YOU guys for the effort you've shown. In the semis we came back from a 14 point deficit in the last 4 minutes and won it in overtime. Yeah, it still gives me the chills - I wonder how I’ll feel looking back at this in the years to come? (Pretty cool, I bet.) I remember when we tied the game, during the time out and Zarir came to tell me- correction, he actually screamed- "Dost we’r gonna make Scholastican history!" And so we did. Thanks guys for going super-saiyan mode at the last minute. You guys played great basketball. Let this be an example for the years to come. I’m truly gonna miss this team a lot; each and every one of you. All your jokes which are actually funny (There, I said it) and I’ll actually miss the Whatsapp group too (400 messages in 30 minutes. Nice.) To the best coach Bulbul sir (and yes, Jamil sir: the man behind everything of course). And, finally the best teammates I could have asked for in my last year: Zarir Faiyaz Alamgir. "Bro, u da' real MVP.’’ Man you have been with me from the beginning when I said ‘’Oh class 7? Onek shomoi ase tomar." Well bro, ar beshi shomai nai. Thank you for everything. You’re an amazing player and you have been an inspiration to me. 23 and 24, huh? Lets go and give it all in our last tournaments! Then there's, * Shareeb Hashmee * Muqtadir Ahmed * Afjal Hossain * Naib Khan * Raiyan Rabbani * Abdullah Al Shaan * Sheikh Munim Tazwar * Rahman Labib * Jahin Arefin * Istiak Rahman Imran * Saptarshi Bhowmik * Ahnaf Shabab Kabir * Afif Fattah * Adib Rahman Shaan, please don’t think it's importance-wise, idiot. You guys come to practice, you play, you win, you lose, you go home. Yet you all do it wonderfully. You're the funniest and chillest team ever. Only two months left, and win or lose lets give it our all. (Yeah, you guys better. :@) A big thanks to all my friends for coming to watch our games and last but definitely not the least: Thank You, Adiba Tarannum for coming to my games and taking game day pictures with me. And for making me the happiest on court before the game starts. Yayy ! That's all. ‪#LastDaysAs#23 -Azmayeen Rahman

Last Day of School:

The last day of school or eventhe last year of school in general is a big deal to me. But if I had topinpoint one moment in all of that, I guess I'd like to talk about this one.

The whole day we'd been running around writing on each other and then throwing paint at each other and it was all good and we were all laughing. Then the teachers tell us party's over and it's time to leave, and someone puts on Fix You by Coldplay and we get that it's time to say goodbye. I was standing with my friends talking to them when all of a sudden Shafquat just decides to lie down on the ground of the red court and he looks absolutely devastated and it finally hit me that it was over. School was over. He starts crying, I start crying, everyone around us starts crying and for some reason I know this moment from Navila's point of view. Navi is the most happy-go-lucky person I know. And in that moment, I remember she was being her cheerful self and then she looked from Shafquat to me and to her          surroundings, and instantly, she made the saddest face I have ever seen.

It wasn't the end of our friendship, but that moment really was the end of one of the best times of our lives.

-Anika Maruf

Moments

I could think of 699 memories attached to the word 'moment'

It gets 2400 images running through my mind like a kaleidoscope

But on heroine.

It starts from the petrichor

From the ground next to the front office

Every monsoon morning.

There's the red brick wall with dirtied lead pencil words etched onto it

Names, numbers, sections, curses

"Fairooz rox"; Fairooz is an engineer settled in southern Carolina today.

"Section D boyzz!!"; one of them died of an overdose, the remaining three fell apart.

"I <3 Rahat"; Rahat's still struggling with his SATs and could honestly use the love right now.

A moment?

I think of the red court

Too ethereal in it's velvety redness.

All the blotchy patches of blood

From prepubescent footballers

Tripping and slipping and failing at cartwheels

Think of the recently air conditioned classrooms

Gone are the stench of sweat after sports class or the waft of chicken fry

Does no one secretly eat in class anymore?

A moment

For the raven haired, buck toothed physics teacher

And the thick glasses wearing

Bangla teacher who insists

That you not say the "f" word again.

A moment for the yellow tiled bathrooms

The many post heartbreak talks,

The numerous "does my hair look okay?"s

The "let's take a selfie before the bua walks in"

And oh, all those "let's hide here till they stop checking routines".

Sweet nostalgia.

A moment for the boys bathroom.

I haven't been in there - sorry

A moment for the national anthem

The morning announcements

The lunch coupons with

"I miss you bb" scribbled on em

A moment for the corridor chases

For the untucked shirts

The long hair and

The 10,000 more asinine reasons they sent us home.

A moment for the cafeteria fights

The obnoxious juniors (even though we were them less than a moment ago)

For the smell of biriyani

With a scarcity of mangsho

And the sight of pizza

That has too much tomato.

A moment for the hot seniors

The basketball players

The footballers

The painters and dancers

The singers and teachers

The leaders, the losers.

A moment

For Scholastica.

- Ushra Mirza

Superhero: 32

These past several weeks you have probably heard a great deal about personal superheroes. These are the people that we admire, the people who have been there for us and the people we strive to be like. But there are heroes that have been ignored. The ones that look back at us every time we face them in the mirror. What makes a hero? A quick Google search would tell you that a hero is “a person … who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities”. Even without the above definition one would know that a hero isn’t just a savior or a leader. A hero can take many different forms, for example, a student body. Now before you roll your eyes at how naïve that sounds, think about it. We as Scholasticans have achieved truly great things. Starting with athletic victories (“Scholastica has become the UNBEATEN CAHMPIONS!”) to beautiful plays that should have been light years ahead of us to the simple act of putting a smile on an impoverished child’s face, we have excelled in numerous fields and disciplines. We have sent delegates to Model United Nations all over to change the world (or at least practice doing so) and we’ve had science fairs to nurture budding minds and explore scientific creativity. If you need proof, stop off at the Front Office at the Uttara branch of Scholastica. Those trophies are not on display simply as symbols of our achievements, but constant reminders of our hard work and our drive to succeed. And we’re still doing it. We have graduates moving to bigger and better things, going all over the world from America to Australia. What moves me personally is that at some point we stopped being students and became pioneers. We learned to compromise with authority and change the school a little bit at a time. If we hadn’t, we could never have done half the things we did. It is because of all these things that I say that we as Scholasticans are heroes, regardless of whether you are studying in high school, college or working. So keep fighting and keep moving forward. As one of my favorite teachers is fond of saying, “Greatness has spoken.” - Sharhan Manir

Superhero: 31

Superheroes. They are not just Batman, Superman or Spider-man. They are real people who change your life forever. In my life, I have way too many superheroes to thank. For me, my superheroes are my friends who mean more than the entire universe to me. To begin with, I have my best friend, Sanjida Akbar. She used to be one of those people that I never spoke to too much. Who knew that she would become the most integral part of my life? She is someone who will fall down hundred times but will rise above thousand more. I learnt that lesson from her. I owe some great chunks of my life to this girl who pulled me out of the darkness, much like Batman saving Gotham. Then there is another girl whom I didn't get to know so well until this summer; Shifat Khan. Yes, we had been in the same class for some years but we got to know each other very late but deeper than ever. She is amazing in her own ways. She's a good listener-my therapist. A good friend will always have time and ears for you and she always does. There are more superheroes like these two girls, I am sure, because superheroes can be anyone. For me, every Scholastican is a superhero. For we have a different take on the world, a unique perspective on life and the spirit to fight until the very end. Our teachers are no less and that's why I will not credit anyone in particular as my superhero, but the entire school, even the support staff. Thank you Scholastica for giving me the best 14 years of my life. Couldn't ask for any better school life! - Raisa Zaman

Superhero: 09

Someone’s a little late but we couldn’t possibly just ignore it. Here’s another write up on our very deserving Majed Sir! The concept of a superhero has always been subjective; superheroes symbolize a range of different things for different people. Superheroes take many forms; starting with your closest friend, to an absolutely inspirational person who may or may not even know you exist, can be your superhero. For me, my superheroes are people who inspire me. Majed sir is one of those people. I've known him since grade six, and ever since then, he's always encouraged, and inspired me to become a better debater, and a better person than I was before. His favorite thing to tell me is, "I have faith in you." Just those five words can instantly change my state of mind from hopeless to confident. Whenever I lack confidence, or feel pessimistic, he'll tell me he believes in me, which is always enough to make me feel bold and unafraid again, and I feel like I can take any challenge head on. I've always tried really hard to not disappoint him. So thank you, Majed sir, for supporting me so much, and for believing in me even when I fail to believe in myself. -Nayara Noor

Superhero: 30

Red Court Diaries has been celebrating an “our everyday visionaries” lately, so I thought we should celebrate one of the underrated heroes of School. I nominate Shakil Rahman Ayan as my superhero. He graduated from Scholastica with Batch 2013.   Shakil is a supportive friend and a true advocate of real development. At a time, Shakil had a bad reputation in school but it has never affected his self-confidence or his strong personality. His guts is as strong as steel, I mean, he literally wore a fedora in the Yearbook Photo.  Shakil is one guy who is never afraid to stand up to anyone or stand up for his friends. His loyalty is powerful.  After Scholastica, he got into UC Berkeley for undergrad but chose to go to McGill University instead. According to him, "If I can get into Berkeley once then I can get in again."  He is currently studying Economics and Math and trust me; this guy is bringing home a Nobel Prize. Apart from having a perfect GPA, he also tutors freshmen statistics students and occasionally visits Ivy Leagues on conferences representing McGill. He plans to finish his undergrad research paper on Bangladesh Stock Market by December 2014.  He is a pride and inspiration for all of us still in school. Never be afraid to reach higher. Never be afraid to be the best and represent where you come from.  I am glad Red Court Diaries gave me a platform to celebrate him.           

Superhero: 29

For many of us, Physics lad classes were an extended break. We’d sing, laugh and talk about the latest Supernatural episode. This went on for quite sometime and so when our exams were knocking on the door, some of us obviously didn’t know how to carry out the experiments. Our teachers had had given up on us long back and it was during this time that Deneq sir, the very kind lab assistant, went around the class and made it his personal mission to make us understand everything. And his hard work paid off when most of us ended up scoring high grades in our practical exams. His determination to help us in our time of need, even when we never really listened to him, is what makes him my superhero.

Superhero: 28

What can I say about this guy? Words cannot begin to describe what this guy did for Scholastica. Evident from the cabinets of trophies to the countless individual awards, Yousuf Sir has brought in a lot of talent and depth into the athletic side of Scholastica. I think it's safe to say that everyone, be it the batch of 2006 or even the batch of 2019 (I'm just picking randomly), has the utmost respect for him. He's no Mourinho, he's no Guardiola; he’s just in a class of his own. I see him during the tournaments, taking notes, watching other matches with deep concentration, the likes of which most of us don't even concern during our midterms or finals. He can see through a player, and know what his/her weaknesses and strengths are. It's because of him that Scholastica has produced a number of fine players, both with finesse and intelligence. Oh and did I forget to mention he's also the most kindhearted person you'll ever see? Off the pitch that is.  We are lucky to be able to flourish under this great man. So, for the future batches, always listen to what he says, it'll carve you into the player you have the potential to be. Oh, and you'll get to win some trophies along the way. Cheers! -Shahzor Khaled Hossain          

Superhero: 27

I was searching for her picture for the longest time now and had almost given up hope of ever finding one till finally, a blessed student put it up on this very page. Where would I even begin to explain the sort of teacher and more importantly, counselor she has been for all of us together and individually? It was Tanweera Miss who had swooped down to rescue me when I had assumed I wouldn't even be able to give my O' levels, who had made me sit down in her office, confront my fears and make a vow that I wouldn't just do good but try to do great. It was the same Tanweera Miss who had enveloped me in a bear hug when I had gone running to tell her about my results and told me how she was proud of me, and knew I could do it; that's Tanweera miss for you. Today, even though it's been two years since she was my APM, I still haven't met anyone I can confide my personal problems to so effortlessly, and indeed, she's actually become more of a friend now than a looming supervisor. Lastly, the absolutely best part about Tanweera Miss is, she'll always have a solution. With a bonus of a smile and some more hugs. -Roshni Shamim

Superhero: 27

No one ever forgets their first day in school. I didn’t either. It was back in Class 8 that I joined Scholastica. It’s always daunting taking your first steps in a school and it gets even scarier when it’s an unforgiving place like our school is. I just entered through the main gate and got a glimpse of the monster that awaited me – the entire student body. But in those menacing faces, I found a smile that just warmed the surroundings. It was Tanweera ma’am. She recognized me from the admission process and made her way towards me. We just said hi and that was it, she knew what was going inside me. Instead of taking the main staircase, she took me to the teacher’s elevator near SRD so that I didn’t have to face my demons yet. She talked me through the entire time, asking me how my family was and what I had for breakfast. All these questions with such sincere kindness were something I wasn’t expecting. We reached our class and she introduced me to the entire room. Now, those faces treated me like an alien, which is how it should be. But I knew that there was one warm face I could turn to if I ever needed one ☺ Years after that, what astounds me is that, every single time I have had the good fortune of meeting ma’am, she always recognized me by name. She’ll always take the time to ask me about what’s going on and will let me know that she is always there if I ever need advice. All of this, with such sincerity, that you can’t even fake in books and fiction. There is a lot more to Tanweera ma’am than what I could write in my words but I know that all of those traits are positive ones. She is a superhero to me because she inspired me on a regular basis in school and inspires me now in life. - Ishmam Ahmed Chowdhury (Batch of 2011)

Superhero: 26

Nahiyan Naser. Leader, inspiration and one of the most crucial people in making B14’s last year so memorable and special! Candle lighting the red court?! Who'd have thought of that! And many other ideas led Scholastica class of 2014 to the 'perfect' school-ending year. Cheers to his great character and leadership! -Aminur Rahman Khan

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