Redeemed by Love

Redeemed by Jesus, Random Jam Session Enthusiast, O-Chem Nerd, Lover of the Bible, Science Teacher, Hopeful Future Foster Parent/ Adopter

[redeemedbymygoel]

Morrison: A Multitude of Prayer Answers

“29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. 41 Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.”~ Acts 5: 29,41

   “If you don’t know the Bible, you can’t teach here!”

             Back in April 2019, I went to Taiwan for the first time in 11 years to see my only living grandparent and relatives. A lot had changed since seeing them in 2008 since I had become a believer in Christ. The Lord provided great opportunities to share about my faith with them. Specifically, seeing my grandfather all alone and struggling with dementia convicted my heart. I figured I could always go back to the USA but how long would my grandfather be around? I barely knew who he was and vice versa yet he was interested in my testimony as I shared with my cousins and remembered through his dementia that I was going to return to the US the morning I left. He even woke up at 5 am to say goodbye to me!

             While I was in Taiwan, I prayerfully searched for a job there and it just so happened that I saw an opening for a middle school science teacher on the Morrison Christian Academy website. I was stunned because I knew a sister, Maria, who had gone there before but I couldn’t have imagined they would have openings. Not to mention Maria has been one of several sisters in my life that God had used to encourage a missional heart for Chinese International Students during college days and that led to early prayers of wondering if God wanted me to minister to my family in Taiwan. 

             Summer passed quickly as I took some teaching license exams, returned to Taiwan to care for my grandfather, went to China to love and defend orphans with Bring Me Hope, and returned with pieces of my heart stuck in East Asia to my work. The beginning of the school year was hard but quickly the Lord started to use a string of events to bring me to the conviction that all I wanted to do was to first, do what was right in front of the eyes of the Lord and be faithful to Him in everything. My contentment for my work grew as I saw the Lord use discipline methods I’d learned at camp to apply into my classroom to really positively impact my students! It was really sweet to be in a position to be able to sincerely say, 

“Lord if you want me to stay, I will stay. If you want me to go, I will go. I know that if You are not giving me my desires right now, You have something better for me!” 

Quickly after, the Lord allowed me to start the interview process with Morrison.

            In October, I interviewed for Morrison Christian Academy in Taiwan with the superintendent. Mr. McGill said he was extremely impressed with my application, especially my testimony and passion for the Lord. He told me the background behind the school’s mission to serve missionary families’ kids in Taiwan and it was so incredible encouraging to hear his heart for missions! Then the questions began:

“If you were asked by a student ‘how can homosexuality be fair’, what would you say?”

I was struck and instantly so thankful for a bible study that the Lord allowed me to be involved in that just so happened to have a chapter on homosexuality!

“I would say, ‘What does the Bible say about it?’ Then I’d point them to Genesis. It’s clear that marriage is between a man and woman.”

“… That was the … best answer to that question I’ve heard in years! You’d be surprised how many people are still struggling with a question like this. I’m glad we decided to give you all the hard ones off the bat. Well Miss. Chen, I’m glad to see the person you wrote about in your testimony is the real deal. You must come to Morrison. I know you still have two other interviews, but you can go home and tell your parents you have a position here, especially since upon getting the contract you’ll only have one week to sign it.”

I was blown away. Of course, I asked my questions of concern as well such as teaching from the bible which was quickly met with a:

“Oh, of course you need to teach from the Bible! If you don’t know the bible, you can’t teach here! But your experience is more than sufficient.”

Truly, each moment was God ordained. There was one issue: the superintendent spoke wanted me in a campus in the south. The position would be teaching STEM courses for middle school. It was 4 hours away from my grandfather. Despite the offer, I decided I would still just pray.

           Four days later, Morrison called me again. They said they knew that a big reason I wanted to come to Taiwan was to minister to my grandfather in the north but there were no middle school science positions there. Still, it turned out they were building a new high school in there and they asked me:

“Would you consider a teaching position as a high school science teacher for our new high school. You’d be teaching new courses AP Biology, Human Anatomy, 10th grade physical science, and 8th grade science?”

“Yes! I would LOVE that! I’ve always wanted to teach those classes and I love those sciences!”

 It was a dream come true- I’d always wanted to teach AP (college level), but I thought it would be impossible in America since I still didn’t have a teaching license. Therefore, they decided to interview me for the north campus.

       Morrison conducted two more interviews with me and I went home to talk to my parents about it. Despite the fact Morrison was providing housing, paying for my visa, and paying for airline tickets, they were quite concerned about my salary because I was getting an over 67% pay cut from what I was making in my current job since Morrison pays their teachers only a "missionary salary”. I would be making as much as I made in my entry first entry level job as a teaching aide yet doing possibly four times the work. Still, I overheard my dad talking on the phone to my uncle about how I wanted to move to Taiwan to be closer to my  grandfather. I knew that he felt a sense of duty to his father in that way.

           In November, they extended me a contract for two years. I was given a week to sign it. I prepared the documents and prayed to do things righteously. I even refused to use my workplace copier to sign and scan the contract because the Lord had impressed on my heart so heavily to do things right. Before I sent it in, I went home one more weekend and was shocked at what my mom said:

“Actually, we think it’s a great opportunity for you to go to Taiwan to teach for these two years and get some experience in high school. Plus, we told your aunt and uncle and they are excited for the chance to get to know you better.”

 The fact this came from my mother, the one person who was against me going to China, the one who had disapproved of my job choices, was supporting me to go to Taiwan. My dad even had some concerns about me being a burden to grandfather and shockingly my mom defended me:

 “You really think your daughter is the kind of person who would hurt your father? Look how she went back in the summer to care for him and how much she loves him?”

 Jesus is incredible! With my parent’s blessing and understanding, I happily emailed Morrison my contract and couldn’t believe how from head to toe perfect the whole process had been. I knew there was a chance I still might not get my VISA and things wouldn’t work out but just to see God’s faithfulness in my family and this process was incredible.  

            Indeed, with the several travel changes in the last 5 months, it’s been a pretty large spiritual battle when it came to being hopefully about obtaining a VISA to go there but again the Lord brought me to a place of surrender to just trust in His plan for the next year. I was again humbled to say, 

“Lord, I give this VISA to You. If you want me to go, I will go. If you want me to stay, I will stay. I just want to be inside your will.”

In His faithfulness, I am elated to announce that the VISA was sent back to me today and although there are still some question marks about plane tickets, I’m trusting in the Lord for this next chapter of my life. May He receive all the glory!

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” ~Ephesians 3:20-21

[redeemedbymygoel]

Ten Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

10. People who have hurt me this year- I’ve equally done the same to others but in moments where I have perceived hurt from others, I ended up being so grateful for it because often these things would make the Lord’s will clear and some how help me to love people that it is hard to love more and see Christ’ heart for them, it also showed me that true love must come from Jesus, not my own effort. 

9. Weakness- this year I had to go gluten free for health reasons and due to foreign travel have struggled constantly with a lot of stomach issues but I’m so grateful for God humbling me this year to see that I’m constantly in need to depend on Him and it’s been such a blessing to actually reduce certain foods for the Lord.

8. The church body- though we are broken, through the brokenness I’m grateful for seeing how much the Lord is growing this body and raising up leaders for the future.

7. My sisters in Christ- although we go through ups and downs, intentionally getting to know sisters from old to young this year has just refreshed my focus on the kingdom and helped me to look less inward/

6. Bring Me Hope! This INTERNSHIP has just completely changed my life and affirmed even more a desire to do God’s work overseas. Meeting the kids at camps has completely redeemed my job and how I treat my tough students and the Lord giving a huge opportunity to work with a team of believers to live the gospel in this way has strengthened my faith in more ways than I can count!

5. CONTENTMENT! God helping me to be in a place of contentment with where ever he wants me in whatever season!

4. My family- reconnecting with my grandfather and relatives in Taiwan and being able to witness to them and take care of my grandfather and also God changing my parent’s heart even though we disagree on many things

3. God’s faithfulness through His Word- giving me scriptures of strength each day as I’ve been in His word to answer my prayers

2. God renewing my heart this year to desire to do what is right in front of Him and man (and just genuinely know him rather than labeling myself a follower of Jesus)

1. God’s never ending faithfulness in the bad and in the good and never leaving nor forsaking me even when I had bad weeks of turning away.

[redeemedbymygoel]

Downs Syndrome and limited verbal skills has never stopped 12-year-old Donovan from giving his 100%- he has SO much personality! Upon going to Bring Me Hope’s 2018 Yantai camp, he was instantly comfortable with the staff (hugging and high-fiving everyone) and the activities (playing in the water and singing with gusto) since he had been to camp before. What an amazing impact consistency will do in a child’s life! Donovan will often be making up his own songs and loves to repeat after random tunes or words he hears, showing potential to learn speech despite his disability.Occasionally group activities were beyond his understanding at camp, but his imagination allowed his family group at camp to enjoy their own games. One of his favorites was using his “smart phone,” a folded scrap of cardstock, to take selfies or arrange his family group members into poses. After taking the pictures, he would “scroll” through them to determine whether they were good or needed to be retaken.In good moods, he’s a sweet kid who unconditionally shares his stickers and takes care of those in his family group around him, as every young man wants to protect those they love. In bad moods, he has understandably attention-seeking behavior that can result in misbehaving or aggression, but this does not seem deep-seated: he quickly learned how to pet the horses and was calmly gentle the whole time with the horses. He will even gently, but firmly, take your hand to “help” you pet the horses too.With a stable, loving family, who will patiently guide his creativity and love for music, he would THRIVE and bring such joy to those around him. Do you know anyone who can be his forever family? Share Donovan’s story!

[redeemedbymygoel]

Servant Leadership

Today’s internship lesson was on leadership and 

Aspect 1: Seeks Glory of His Master

As a leader, there is temptation to seek power control but as the word says:

“The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.” ~ John 7:18

A servant leader seeks the reputation of God, not his own.

Aspect 2: Sacrificially Seek Highest Joy of Those They Serve

“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant” ~ Matthew 20:26

A servant leader will make necessary sacrifices to seek the progress of other’s in the faith which will result in the greater glory of God! 

Aspect 3: Forgo His Rights Than Obscure Gospel

The gospel is center of their leadership so the leader must trust in not own ability but in Christ’s. There’s a beautiful song by City Alight called,Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me which captures this beautifully. Another example is Paul:

“To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things. I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.”~ 1 Corinthians 4:11-14

Paul abstained from certain drinks or foods to not stumble people. Paul refused financial support, went poor, hungry, and homeless in order to promote the gospel! Moreover, he even decided not to marry and was martyred for his Lord!

“Do we not have the right to eat and drink? Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas? Or is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working for a living? Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard without eating any of its fruit? Or who tends a flock without getting some of the milk?” ~ 1 Corinthians 9:4-7

Paul made himself a servant to all to win more people for the gospel!

A servant leader will forgo self for the sake of the gospel.

Aspect 4: Not Preoccupied with Personal Visibility or Occupation

John the Baptist was an example of this: he had a huge role but didn’t act like it:

The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. ~ John 3:29

He considers himself the friend of the bridegroom and his joy was that he would prepare the way for the bridegroom to come! 

A servant leader doesn’t look to making for himself a great reputation or building an occupation for himself but that Jesus’ work is first done.

Aspect 5: Anticipates and Graciously Accepts Time for Decrease

We could be leading a church ministry or a leading something else for a season. An example is the same John the Baptist who said in that same passage in the next verse,

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” ~ John 3:30

A servant leader recognizes when the Lord is changing things and He is taking you out of role of leadership. One of my fellow interns sent this article about Francis Chan who is seeing a new season of life in moving to Hong Kong. This is one area I particularly want to grow in as well since I can relate being in a similar season! 

[redeemedbymygoel]

A Prayer for My Sisters in Christ

Dear Heavenly Father,

It burdens my heart when we as proclaiming women of Christ reduce to acting in the flesh as immature girls in front of our brothers. Lord, if I do any of this please convict my heart and help me to turn quickly for a love of wanting to build up my brothers in Christ to be the men and leaders You have designed them to be.

I’m crestfallen to see sisters that I love so much at church leading our brothers on in letting them get close but behind these brother’s backs bash them for trying too hard to pursue. Does it not send mixed messaged?

I’m heartbroken to be put into situations where sisters are objectifying our brothers’ social medias or essentially gossiping about our brother’s looks instead of keeping our thoughts captive. Have we not just openly and joyfully lusted?

I’m grief-stricken to see the ways sisters will change our personalities in front of brothers to manipulate their view of us whether it is positive or negative for attention, of which I regretfully am guilty of. Why doesn’t our hearts care more for their souls?

Lord, forgive me for any of these actions and have mercy on my sisters who are too convicted but lack godly sorrow to turn from sin. 

Change our hearts, O Lord, to see that our brothers, made in the image of Christ deserve dignity, respect, and clarity, not judgement for pursing when they have not had a clear closed door. Instead, help us to respect and build up our brother’s by encouraging them in the truth of Your Word.

Change our hearts, O Lord, to see that these brothers face so many emasculating images each day, need sisters who will still up for what the Bible says about biblical manhood, not sisters who are no different than the rest of the world and encourage objectification of anyone. Instead, help us to encourage Godly leadership and masculinity by letting them be given praise for how they serve the body of Christ!

Change our hearts, O Lord, to see that when we try to manipulate another person with our femininity, which You’ve given us for gospel purposes, that we put our self as authority of our design instead of letting You be the authority that dictates our design. Instead, let us submit our authority to You and use the femininity You’ve given us for painting pictures of the Gospel, that we may work alongside our brother to contribute to the sake of the Great Commission.

Yes, the world condemns men made in the image of God for doing these things as well but sin does not give license to sin. We are a lost and broken generation, Lord have mercy on us. 

Love,

A daughter who yearns for Your people to be Holy

[redeemedbymygoel]

Thoughts on Using Social Media for Advocacy!

I used to be that person who deactivates Facebook or social media for months on end because I looked down on it’s usefulness and really didn’t like people knowing about my personal life.

Somehow seeing how it can be used for God’s glory has changed my mind.

This semester in the internship we’ve been learning about using creative writing, photo and video editing, and social media for advocacy. I’ve learned much about how an intentional Instagram layout can make all the difference to one looking to adopt a child or how a well written short statement can spark interest to one who may be looking to adopt. I didn’t even know that people were that intentional about their Instagram layouts but for their credit it helped inspire me to do more to advocate for my new advocacy kid, Donovan.

Of course, there’s one important question that I ask myself: “For what purpose am I posting these things?”

Though social media can be a great tool, I still pray and look to him to search my heart in posting things. On my personal account, though I want to advocate for my kid but at the same time I want to post things giving glory to what God is teaching me. There will always be temptation to post out of pride so very aware of that, I want to commit now and forward to praying before I post things. I want to commit to giving these things to the Lord to use before posting things. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart!    Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,    and lead me in the way everlasting!

~Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV)

[redeemedbymygoel]

No Purpose of God’s Can Be Thwarted (Part 3/3) | BMH 2019 Reflection

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<-- Part 2/3

Week 4: God’s Purpose Revealed and Goodbyes

*prays before eating lunch*

“Ah! Do you believe in Jesus?”

“Yes...”

“Me too!”

“GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME THIS WEEK?!?!?!”

            God gifted me this week with 16-year-old Grace* and 15-year-old Lucy* who, along with several familiar faces, came from the Week 1 orphanage! Day 1 not only did I find out that my translator Matty was a Christian, but also, at mealtime, I prayed and found out so was Grace! By evening, I had been blessed to sing songs like, “10,000 Reasons” with our family and get to curl Lucy’s hair when she couldn’t go to swim time. God also used a volunteer from that week named Kara, to show us all more of why He relocated us Week 1.

“I saw Lucy is in your group.”

“Yeah! I have Lucy and Grace. God is so GOOD! I just found out that Grace and my translator are both Christians!”

“I was thinking the same thing! Every year I went to camp at Yantai, Lucy’s always been in my family group but this year I heard Zhengzhou needed more volunteers, so I decided to come here. I was afraid that Lucy might feel sad that I wasn’t in Yantai this year but then I saw her walk in and I was like, ‘Wow, God! You’re amazing!’”

           My jaw dropped when I heard that and at the volunteer meeting that night when we shared about it, we were all mind blown at God’s sovereignty.

“WOW. God had a purpose and reason for moving us!”

           Even more amazingly, Grace’s testimony affirmed God’s sovereign hand even over orphans who age out! Grace was born with a lot of health problems and abandoned by her parents who divorced. She was sent to a Buddhist foster home where the practice was drilled into them yet somehow she just knew that Buddhism was not “the way”. The foster home burned down and she was relocated to another orphanage where there happened to be Christian teachers who taught the kids math, English, and the Bible! When Grace was 13, she decided to give her life to Jesus. A year later, a Canadian Christian family had read about her online, moved to China, and adopted her so she got to live with them! Still, Chinese law says orphans are not adoptable at age 14 so a year later at 15, she was moved to this orphanage.

           It would seem that all hope is lost, but God had bigger plans.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ~Isaiah 55:8-9

          Grace’s family told her that when she was 18, she would go back to living with them while also giving her a bible and phone to keep up with them. What is God’s purpose in keeping her in this orphanage for the next 2 years? Through brokenness, He started to reveal more of that.

          Grace had a mental break down the whole day of the talent show and we were speechless on what to do. I felt so weak and helpless that day, unable to understand what was going on in her heart- all I could do was get to my knees and pray. That night, we just sat handing her tissues. I knew that the only One who could comfort her was the Comforter Himself, so I said,

“Although I don’t know what’s on your heart, I’m glad you know the One who does. Lean on Him and pray to Him. He will never leave you or forsake you.”

           I just sat there and hugged her for a half hour as she cried. Through it all, my other girl Lucy asked why I was saying what I said. Wow! Even through seemingly “inconvenient” trauma, God can still allow it to be a chance to share the gospel. Truly, not one plan for the sake of His glory can be thwarted!

          Although Grace had to wait for two years to go back to her family, in the waiting, God can use her life as a testimony to these kids. I can’t openly share the gospel with these kids but she probably can! Her life is already a picture of the gospel: for the one who knows Christ will also receive the family of Christ.

          We all, like Grace, are broken humans who move from place to place, fostered by the philosophy of the world that will never satisfy because it is not the “Truth”. In fact, one day, all those who follow in the philosophy of the world will lose everything and similarly burn as they are thrown into the “lake of fire”. Yet, a good and gracious God from afar sees us. He left all He knew to come live in ‘our land’ as a man because of love. God shows His love for us in this: that while we were still sinners (following in the ways of the world), Christ died for us. He died for our sins so we can be forgiven by a Holy and Just God. Not only are we forgiven, but we are redeemed into a new life where we receive His Spirit and are adopted as His children into His heavenly family. 

            Still, because of the work to be done, we still live on the earth surrounded by a broken world but are given the Word of Truth to guide us to live as Jesus lived. Hence, while we wait for Jesus to come back and redeem us fully, we have a mission here to be a witness for Jesus through how we live. As we yearn to finally be with our heavenly “family”, He teaches us to learn to look more to Christ as His power is perfected in our brokenness and weakness. No evil in the world could thwart God’s plan of adoption for Grace and no evil in the world can thwart God’s plan to redeem us into the family of Christ because the work “is finished.”

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

~~~~~~~~~~~

“I want to encourage you all that there is hope. I wasn’t supposed to stay for Week 4 but I praise God that I did. When these kids left Week 1, I wondered, will I ever see them again? But seeing them again this week encouraged me so much! Just seeing us again, made their days even brighter. You can just tell they had so much fun being back this week! I hope you all would consider coming back next year to be consistency for these kids, something they don’t have. I definitely want to and I want you all to keep me accountable.”

          The Lord allowed me and other staff to impart these words to the translators. Leaving camp was of one of the most painful goodbyes. Today, I still think so much of the kids and all that has happened. Some days I am so happy but then I cry because my heart yearns to see, hold, and hug them. My heart’s desire is to move to East Asia, to be closer to the kids (and my extended family) to the point of questioning why the Lord has me here in the United States. Opportunities have come but He has made it clear that they are not His will. 

           Yet I must remember that He is sovereign and that He has a good plan for me in His timing (which may not be my plans or timing but when He reveals it, it will be perfect). There is a reason He has brought me back to the US. In the meanwhile, He reminds me to pursue Him and pray that the seeds planted in these kids would lead them to a living hope in Christ until we (prayerfully) meet again next year. May You, O Lord, help me to be content in You, wherever You place me, for I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from Your love.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ~ Psalm 37:4

[redeemedbymygoel]

No Purpose of God’s Can Be Thwarted (Part 2/3) | BMH 2019 Reflection

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Week 3: Changing My Flight and Crying for Katie

            More goodbyes. Several dear sisters were driven away to their rides to leave Zhengzhou. As I stood with our significantly smaller group, I wondered if I might feel alone for this last week of being in China. Yet, the yearning to stay in China longer for these kids grew with every beat of my heart. Already, I had been looking for plane tickets all week to stay but due to the choppy Wi-Fi, I quit.

“I’ll stay another week if you don’t eat a cicada…”

Two nights before camp, some staff were making bets on trying to get our director, Jenny, to eat a cicada. I just found the whole concept disgusting so these words essentially blurted out of my mouth. The room went dead silent.

“Wait, don’t you mean if she eats a cicada?”

Jenny started flipping through her phone. The staff members were staring at me with eyes wide open. Although I knew it was wrong of me to say oaths like that, I knew what came out of my mouth stemmed from an immense desire to stay.

“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” ~Matthew 12:34

“Wait really? I’ll do it if you’re serious. Let me check the volunteer list, I’m pretty sure we only have 2 people.”

I whipped out my phone and started furiously searching for flights.

“Wait let me see if this is possible. I’m pretty sure this is possible. I’ve been searching for flights all week.”

          Over the next two days, I found it was possible to stay another week. Yet, each airline I tried to book would not let me because I did not have a “Chinese Cell Phone Number”. Fear came into my heart. “Am I being disobedient to You, Lord? Am I not just causing my parents to worry? Am I wasting Your money, Lord? But Your work among these kids...” I came to a point where I just said to the Lord, “If You want me to stay, I’ll stay. If You want me to leave, I’ll leave. Your will be done.” The next morning was the first day of Week 3 camp I woke up and ‘happened’ to read Luke 12:

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”~ Luke 12:32-34 

What a comfort His Word brought to my heart to eradicate the fears! I decided to try one last time to change my ticket before our training at 9:00 am. The Lord brought me to a new airline where tickets were cheaper, with better seating class, and better layovers than my previous flight. The website loaded slowly for a good 15 minutes as I worked on journaling. I looked up and saw, “Confirmed!”

“PRAISE THE LORD! I’M STAYING FOR WEEK 4!”

“What?!?!?”

I jumped out of my bed and ran to find Jenny but she was in a meeting. I’d have to wait until that night’s volunteer meeting to tell her, but my heart was absolutely elated! Not even China’s “Great Firewall” nor lack of Chinese phone number could stop God from allowing me to stay another week if it was His will!

~~~~~~~~~~~

“姐姐, isn’t it true Mazu protects the seas?”

“*to translator* What’s Mazu?”

“Mazu is a Chinese god.”

“姐姐 does not recognize the god Mazu but 姐姐 knows the God named Yahweh!”

             My new Week 3 family included my translator Chris and two adorable 8-year-old girls, Katie* and Ella*. This week, none of the kids who came had special needs-- they were extremely bright, yet all unadoptable. Katie and Ella were like day and night, rarely wanting to play together, so our family was often split. Katie bonded to me quickly since we had shared loves of studying for exams and she questioned me a lot about religion. After the Lord allowed me to share His name, Katie sparked interest and started asking more. Cautious because of the law, I briefly explained to her about being a Christian.

“姐姐, what are you doing?”

“I’m praying.”

“Oh, why do you pray?”

“Remember, 姐姐 told you I was a Christian? I’m praying to God!”

“I see! So you have to pray before you eat everyday?”

“*laughing* No, I want to pray before eating because I’m so thankful to God for this food, a place to stay, and for bringing us together as a family this week!”

Ella had seen me praying and even though we didn’t spend much time together, not even that could stop God from using her curiosity to share about Him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

          I called Katie “我的小天使 (My Little Angel)”. She was so sweet-- constantly looking out and caring for me. During the movie night, when Ella had kicked me off a mat, Katie crawled over to give me a hug. She pulled me over to share her mat with me and delicately covered my legs with a blanket to make sure I was warm. Touched and tearing up, I gave her the biggest hug and offered to let her lay back on a pillow. Still, Katie put up a strong front, unwilling to let me love on her, and shook her head as she uncomfortably sat up straight. Being independent and capable was one of few things she could control about her life.

           The next morning, before sending the kids off, we sang a song called, “我愛你 (I Love You)”. Turning towards Katie, I did the hand movements as normal. Suddenly, her smile broke into a pout. She started crying and shocked I started crying too. I hugged her and tried to keep singing through tears but it was a lost cause for my heart broke to see my strong willed, little angel would care so much about this week of camp. As we walked out, the whole camp was crying and Katie wanted to go on the bus last.

“姐姐, these are my bells. I made them into a bracelet for you.”

Since the day we met, Katie had held on to a beloved collection of bells. I kissed her tear-filled cheek and hugged her with thankfulness. Putting her on the bus was so hard. She held my hand tightly and cried even more. Before the door closed, I reached to hold her hand one more time. I never thought I’d cry sending a child off but not even my tendency to “save face” would stop God from helping me find freedom to weep as Jesus wept, yearning for these little ones to know the hope of Christ, in front of others.

“And when He drew near and saw the city, He wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.”~ Luke 19:41-42

“I will pray for you always.” The door shut.

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[redeemedbymygoel]

No Purpose of God’s Can Be Thwarted (Part 1/3) | BMH 2019 Reflection

“I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.”~ Job 42:2

“Actually, camp is going to be a 3 hour drive away... not 30 minutes.”

         My heart froze. All echoes of doubts about going to camp stirred in my head. How upset would my anti-Christian parents be? One who told me to drop the whole orphan ministry thing, how much reason would she have to say, ‘I told you so’. I was already annoyed about being lost in Zhengzhou’s airport for half an hour with barely working Wi-Fi, my only way of communication in China.

“Wait, where is it? Why?”

          As it turned out, our camp for Bring Me Hope 2019 in Zhengzhou was relocated outside the province for unclear reasons. As our group of volunteers walked to the van set for Shandong, I prayed for understanding. As I talked to Amye, a sister and staff member, the Lord started to work hope in my heart. I had no idea why this was happening, but He did (and that’s all that mattered). God had a reason for moving us so far away last minute and, although we couldn’t see what would happen, we could trust Jesus was in control and had a glorious plan for us all, no matter what trials would come.

“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25

Week 1: Flexibility and the Fake Smile

          With no idea what each day brought, we could only, by faith, be prepared for change at any moment. Praise be to the Lord that He provided housing, a camp location, and little campers last minute through our Week 1 Chinese director, Roy. That week 13-year-old Victor* (advocacy name), who constantly held hands with Josy (my translator) and I, became our little brother. Sadly, I must confess that I struggled with apathy towards my family group this week because of several energy-draining sicknesses. 

            The day we went to the aquarium, the media showed up and the foreign volunteers were not allowed to go in with the kids. Our camp was just in too fragile of a situation.

“Victor kept asking where you were, and he insisted on finding you. I tried to tell him you were ‘tired’ and went to rest. I’m worried that at the end of the week when we leave, it will be bad for the kids. What should we do?”

          Panicked, Josy sent me this message that day. My heart broke. Even in my apathy, God was still working through these kids to touch my heart. Did Victor really care that much I wasn’t there? My heart was touched but I was at a loss of how to respond so I asked Gabby, another staff member, to help me. I didn’t want to separate from Victor either, but I suppressed feelings of sadness and fake smiled as I waved goodbye to Victor to maintain his happy memories. I wanted to be strong for Victor but I just felt weak. The Lord would work on me that very weekend; there was a lot I needed to give to the Lord. 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”          ~ Psalm 51:10

Week 2: Prayer and Practicing Discipline

          After we said goodbye to translators and volunteers, we moved to a new location where we could run camp 24/7. That weekend, I had regained health but nothing could prepare me for receiving heart shattering news from home that broke me into a million pieces. Mourning the sinful way I had handled things, I brought my pains and sorrows to the Lord where He met me in this valley. By grace, He prompted me to pray for focus and love this week as I met cute but rambunctious little Tommy*, an 8-year-old who kept my translator Elise and I on our feet.   

“姐姐(jie jie = big sister), I want to throw up…”

          Tommy had eaten a whole plate of fried meat the night before and refused to eat any veggies. It makes one wonder how much trauma he might have had related to being withheld from food due to his skinny figure. My poor translator Elise grieved at the thought of discipline when I told her our director had discussed limiting his food intake and eat separately from others. Taking up my people-pleasing cross, I prepared to accept the fact that I would be the un-fun sister who was too strict since, at first, only I was the one telling Tommy no. Tommy fussed about food yet I was so blessed when we would briefly leave to scarf food down and come back to the most joyful little boy running into our arms for a hug, happily yelling, “ 姐姐”!

           Praise the Lord, later Elise told me that she was so happy and grateful that we limited his portions because Tommy’s health was so much better! To top it all off, I had been praying for a chance to share my faith but had none until the last day when the brother who chaperoned Tommy’s room shared his art (which had biblical inspirations) with my translator who asked about its meaning since she loves poetic things. Amazed at His sovereign hand, God gave me a chance to translate the meaning to her in Chinese and talk more about the Lord!  I couldn’t believe it yet that is our God, for He is the one faithful to answer prayers-- not even the running around of a rambunctious little boy could stop God from showing His glory! 

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.”- Psalm 145:18-19

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[redeemedbymygoel]

BMH 2019: What did God teach me about short term missions?

In July, God brought me to China for a month to serve with an orphan camp for the ministry Bring Me Hope. At camp, a foreign volunteer and a translator are paired up with 1-2 kids and get to become a family group. The child has in one way or another gone through the trauma of being abandoned. Some kids can’t move on their own, some have the volunteers running around, and some are normal but suffer from “attachment disorder” where they are too afraid or too keen on making relationships. In a place where the gospel isn’t super welcome yet where the gospel is so relatable, the Lord taught me several things about short term missions.

First He taught me, always be meek. Specifically, three aspects of meekness were common themes during this time: flexibility to the Lord’s will, humility, and constant prayer for the bible says, “The meek will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5).” After the 1st week, the Lord personally humbled me and helped me to see that I needed to be in prayer for these kids and my translators. Instead of looking to myself, I needed to look to the Lord who is able. For example, my boy from week 2 would eat himself sick due to trauma of being starved and it got to the point where my translator and I couldn’t even eat in front of him so we would often have to discipline his eating. This was met with fussy responses. In between patient disciple, loving rebukes, and short and tiny meals eaten secretly, the Lord would bless me to “inherit the earth” when I’d come back to find my little boy run into my arms happily yelling, “姐姐(jie jie)” because he had missed me despite being gone for 15 minutes.

Second, it is important to be on a team whose aim is to glorify God. The prayers, gifts, and encouragement of the body of believer I went with were so key to allowing me to share about Christ with these kids and translators. The fourth week, when I was so discouraged and exhausted about my teenage girl having a mental break down the whole day, having another sister sit down to just pray with me gave me strength to press on to encourage my girl. I was so grateful for another brother on staff who heard of her feeling out of place due to being 8 years older than the other “cuter” kids who spent time playing word puzzles with our family when he could have been focusing on the little kids which made her day! I wouldn’t have been able to share about Christ with one of my translators if it wasn’t for the art ministry of another brother! All these brothers and sister have the most encouraging testimonies and are kindred spirits whose aim is to see God be known and glorified.

Lastly, God is sovereign over all circumstances. Because of our faith, we were relocated, lacking resources, and faced unexpected orphanage mishaps. When sickness would come, it would hit us all at once. Yet, He proved His strength in our weakness, especially in His Word of truth, so that all who believed upon Christ there could truly say, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted (Job 42:2).” At the end of each week when it was time to say goodbye, every child, the youngest to the oldest, would cry which left us feeling helpless. Yet, translators who were natives would say during the debriefs that they noticed something different about this camp and that there was something happening here that they wouldn’t forget. We as volunteers would then get to encourage them that there is hope, a hope that is not in ourselves but that our hope was in Christ which would never fade. Even today, there are translators the Lord has allowed me to keep up with and to continue to witness to. God is sovereign even over our parting.

Although serving in such a short time can be heighten emotions and make going back to everyday life seem incomparable, it becomes apparent that spiritual disciplines we practice today come to be extremely important and tested quickly. Nothing else could have prepared me better for going and serving on this trip that to know the Word in my heart, have a habit of prayer, and understand biblical fellowship with believers in the body of Christ so my encouragement for us is to let these things be a response to the tune of our salvation so that He may better allow us to love those He has called us to serve.

[redeemedbymygoel]

Camp Week 2~ Learning Humility and Unconditional Forgiveness

<<A continuation of Camp 2019: Week 1>>

"The Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." ~Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV) 

     May God receive glory for being the one who chooses and uses the weak to shame the strong! Despite all the relocation mishaps, the Lord provided a new place to this time run an 24/7 camp at a hot springs hotel. This hotel allowed both foreigners and citizens to stay there. It also had a pool and adequate space for the kids to play. Our fellowship Sunday was uplifting as a brother delivered a message on examining our faith. It was dear to have the time to hold on to each truth in His word and know that the trials we all faced were in the purpose of the Lord. 

       On Monday 7/15, I met my translator Elise and our adorable 8 year old boy Tommy* (advocacy name) who had a lot of energy. We quickly found Tommy had trouble controlling his eating and was extremely active. Compared to last week there wasn't time to have a conversation since Tommy loved running around. It was humbling, since I am a chatterbox, to learn to witness with actions, not just words. The Lord showed me how much I needed to rely on Him in prayer when I would fail to be loving and He was faithful to answer prayers to fill my heart with His love. 

       The next day, Tommy woke up with a stomach ache and told me he wanted to throw up. After talking to the camp director, we decided that sitting in the family style dinning room with all the food was not a good idea so we ate outside where Elise and I switched off eating separately or helping teach Tommy learn to eat slower with help from camp staff. It was a week of discipline and correction but it was heartwarming to see Tommy's loving nature. Each time we left to eat and came back, Tommy would see us, run to us, and happily shout, "姐姐!" (jie jie = big sister) as he gave us a big hug! This reminded me of Psalm 127:3, 

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward (NASB)." 

       The Lord also used Tommy to teach me unconditional forgiveness. A particular  kid would hit him often and they had a bit of a fight in the pool one day. Later, that kid's family wanted him to apologize to Tommy but he refused. Elise and I had talked to Tommy about how he had been in the wrong too and asked him to apologize. Even though the other kid would not apologize, Tommy immediately did so! Throughout the week, no matter how many times Tommy was hit, he'd always respond in love and forgiveness. Though I don't know Tommy's heart, it touched my heart to see him live out a picture of Matthew 18:21-22 (above).          

        The last day started off somber as I reflected on not having a chance to share about the Lord with Elise. Each day started off with small prayers for opportunity and time was running out. As we packed up, the brother who was "chaperoning" Tommy's room, was giving the kids post cards of art he had created. Elise loved poetic things so when she saw one of the cards (pictured on the left), she was amazed and asked about the meaning behind it. Each postcard had biblical inspiration behind it as he explained some to her. Since there were terms like, "Fruits of the Spirit" she couldn't understand in English, the Lord gave me an opportunity to translate it into Chinese, meaning Tommy could hear too! Wow, I pray seeds may be planted! It amazes me how when He answers prayers, He goes above and beyond what we can imagine!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all the we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen." ~Eph 3:20-21

Week 1 Buddy: Victor

Week 3 to be continued...

[redeemedbymygoel]

Camp Year: 2019

Week: 1

Translator: Josy

Buddy Age: 13 Years Old

Photo: Our family making a star together!!

Victor* [advocacy name] is a 13 year old boy who loves to draw, play rock paper scissors, and put things back in a neat fashion! He is well behaved and besides lack of schooling, he's a pretty normal kid who would thrive with a loving family to guide him. Victor wants to be a police officer one day and he is such a strong little man. When we went to the water park during Week 1, Victor had a blast going down the slides with an adventurous spark in his eyes! Near the end, he tripped and scraped his knee and we helped him up. We asked him if it hurt and he said yes but he did not cry. When an older sister helped him clean it up, on his own accord he said 'thank you' and happily went to the locker room to change. What a well-tempered kid!

[redeemedbymygoel]

Camp 2019: Week 1~ God’s Providence

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." ~2 Corinthians 12:9 

             May God be glorified for being the One who is sufficient in any and all circumstances to sustain any trials we may face! After landing in China and walking around the airport lost for 30 minutes, I heard the news, "We can't stay in this province anymore. We're being relocated 3 hours away because of our affiliation". A part of my mind started to go down a road of worry thinking, "This was not what was supposed to happen! What will my parents think of God? My parents will be so upset and blame God... again. Was I wrong to come to China?" The Lord gave me an incredible amount of grace at the moment to see I could 1) choose to let my emotions run wild and be driven by fear or 2) by faith, trust that He was in control. By His grace, my heart started to have hope that God was in control and although I couldn't see it now, by faith, I could trust in the conviction that God had a good plan for all of this and that He would not leave us or forsake us. After an hour of the Spirit bringing to me remembrance of the Word that He had stored in my heart, the Lord left me with an in-explainable confidence in Him and an excitement to see how He would bring Himself glory during this trip. Knowing it would need to be covered in prayer, I reached out to brothers and sisters. 

        Hours later we made it to the new location and in a matter of minutes we found out no one was certain if we could even run camp. We had no resources besides what volunteers had brought, no orphanage to work with, and no location to hold an overnight camp due to few hotels accepting foreigners and citizens. Somehow, we had to trust the Lord would work through this and that He had sent us here for a reason so that night we all just prayed for His will to be done. The next day, the Lord provided quickly! We weren't able to start camp on a Monday like normal but after volunteer training, we found out God had provided an orphanage to work with. We'd have to run a day camp sadly due to lack of housing but at least the Lord provided a chance to share His love with these kids and translators. Out of all the kids, only one was a girl which was going to be challenging since the rule was two adults of the same gender to accompany a kid older than 5 to the bathroom at all times (due to assistance needed due to disabilities) and already we barely had any guy volunteers/ translators. Still, the Lord throughout the week gave the men in our group such servant hearts and willingness to serve the kids with issues that few adults would probably want to help older kids who should normally be capable with. 

       Amazingly, He also gave us a chance to go visit the orphanage itself which usually never happens for other camps. As 19 boys and 1 girl with various disabilities and personalities walked in the small, crowded, and sterile room, the Lord just softened my heart for them. Despite how they looked on the outside (to an extent, we all knew that they were most likely abandoned because of their disabilities), I knew that the Lord saw them and He cared for each one of their souls. What an amazing sight it was to experience a taste of unconditional love that our Savior might have felt with us- a love not based on what these kids had done for us but a love based on the fact that these little humans were created in the image of God and worthy to be loved as an image of God! 

         My family group was made of my translator Josy and our 10 year old boy named Victor (more about Victor here). Even though our camp was "weak" in a way where we had little resources, limited staff, and barely any time with the kids like a normal camp, it was such an encouragement to see God start to help us love on the kids in that tiny little orphanage room as we drew with the kids, played cards, and got to know them more. The rest of the week echoed the same theme. Each day, we had little resources and little time but the Lord gave us creativity and multiplied our meaningful times with the kids, who had so much fun with just simple games! Praise be to God, He even allowed me to share during crafts times with my translator (and my kid listening) about being a Christian and what God had done in my life with my family!

        After we left the orphanage, the Lord also allowed me to meet a fellow sister in Christ named Faye who was very bold about her faith and extremely passionate about God. Her and her husband had studied at seminary in Singapore to the point of being blacklisted in China yet she still fearlessly shared her faith. It was an encouragement to see the joy and love the Lord had given her for the kids which was so different from the other translators who didn't know Christ. To hear of her bold faith in the face of persecution tries my own faith and encourages me to genuinely pray for the body in China because now it has become personal. 

         The last day of camp, we brought the kids to the bus and the volunteers and translators were heart broken, especially those who would only be here one week. We debriefed with our camp director immediately after and no one had words to say for there was a sense of despair, "Will we ever see them again?" (Wow did God answer that prayer three week later! If only I would have known!). A volunteer who had the most joyful little boy in a wheelchair named Hector wrote a poem and read it to us about how Hector taught him more in a week about hope than he could ever imagine and we were encouraged by our camp director to find a way to keep up with our kids and advocate for them. A translator even shared that she noticed that there was something different about this camp and wanted to know more about it, at which our director got to share about her hope in Christ! May these seeds be planted and may He grow them for His glory! Here is a video with some highlights from week 1, see my little boy at 0:22. Week 2 to be continued...  

[redeemedbymygoel]

Travel Mercies to Asia and Time to Minister to My Grandfather

He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. ~Psalm 91:4

      May God be glorified for being the One who is in control over time from beginning to end! For the internship, this month has been extremely light since they typically take a break in June so the focus this month has been mostly on preparation for camp and focusing on family. The first three weeks of June was marked by seeing the sufficiency of God's grace and good timing in all days- the good and the bad!

       After work ended, the Lord allowed me to go home to spend time with my sister who has been away for 2 years. I had to prepare for two exams so I was unsure of having time but by His grace, He allowed me to wake up early each day, start the day in the Word, study at the library, finish studies early, make it home to spend time with family, crochet gifts for the kids and translators at camp (in the picture above), and plan for packing! The opportunity to be at home was sweet but at the same time, it was a spiritual battle. My parents were plagued with anxiety. They were worried since my sister was unable to find job upon graduation and not happy about me going over seas for so long. Not having a hope in the Lord, they reacted in fear which was at times discouraging to sit through. I was also starting to get caught up in the fear as I sat each night at the dinner table. There were so many lies Satan was using my family to throw at me, "Grandpa will forget you or you'll poison him", "You'll become deathly sick", "You'll be robbed or tricked of your money", etc. I tried to reassure them that God would protect me but God has not given them a heart to receive that message yet. Still, during this month, my devotionals happened to fall in Matthew which the Lord used to bring so much encouragement! I was reminded from Matthew 6:25-27 that I couldn't add to my life by worrying. Worrying wasn't going to help me be any safer so there was truly no point in indulging in these fears. It was and is much more eternally valuable to daily trust God even when outcomes are unknown- faith right?

      During volunteer calls over the month of June, it seemed there were a lot of unexpected changes in China the past year. We were lovingly warned of being careful with what we say and not being able to as openly share the gospel as in the past. I started to think, it this was the case, am I just wasting God's money to go? Am I just wasting time that could be spent ministering to my family or the local church? I was starting to believe the lie that this journey was not eternally important. Yet, God again brought encouragement from Matthew 25:31-46 which talks about the the final judgement. When Jesus, the King, comes to the sheep (believers), He will say to them that they will inherit the kingdom for, "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me" and they respond, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you...?". Jesus then responds, "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me". God used this to remind me that even if I'm not speaking the gospel every last second of the day, there is eternal impact in loving on the least of these and I can already see how much God is establishing the truth of His Word now being in Taiwan.

       On June 24th, praise God for washing away those fears as I was dropped off at the airport, covered in prayer, in excitement and anticipation of the privilege of being Jesus' hands and feet to my grandpa in Taiwan and kids in China! First, he allowed two very dear sisters to drive me there and pray for me on the way there. It was so affirming to be covered by a blanket of prayer. Then, at the airport, at my gate I saw another person from church who happened to be on the same flight to San Francisco with me! This brother was in the first boarding class so although I was in the last one, he told the attendant we were traveling together and they allowed me on earlier to get overhead space! It was such a blessing and a picture of what happens when we know Christ, we have access to his riches as well. Later, that brother made sure to wait to make sure I knew where I was going in the airport since he was from San Francisco before heading off which was such a blessing to me. During the layover, the Lord gave me time in the Word and soon I was boarding my flight to Taiwan. Thankfully the man next to me was a gentleman and would help me with my heavy luggage and that was a blessing too. I got to Taiwan and besides a minor worry of luggage being lost, the Lord allowed finding my uncle and cousin who picked me up to be extremely smooth. The first day in Taiwan was heartbreaking: my grandpa had hurt his lumbar area and couldn't walk by himself. He was spitting out all the food the caretaker made him, unable to sleep due to hunger, and treated with such indignity for 'not following directions'. Also, my aunt told me not to help grandpa and just worry about myself and I was unsure of how to honor her but also love on my grandpa. Moreover, I was sick due to jet lag and all the outside food I ate in Taiwan was giving me nausea. 

        The next day, after much prayer and listening to an audio book by a Christian doctor called, "Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia", I decided to make my own food as the Lord reminded me thru the book that to love on and care for my grandpa, being in good health was important. Praise God, as I was in the middle of cooking Mapo tofu, a lady came in from the Geriatric Help Center. Thankfully, she spoke Mandarin Chinese, made some assumptions, and called grandpa over to eat lunch with me as I prepared a few other dishes. Miraculously, my grandpa ate all the food I made and we enjoyed a time of chatting about the past which was apparently really good for his dementia since it helped him to recall things! Later, God even gave me an opportunity to sit at grandpa's bedside that night before he went to sleep and he asked me about my life! Praise be to God for the opportunity to share about being a Christian and what God was doing in my life! I have about a week left with grandpa and the thought of leaving him alone again is hard to swallow but I just pray for an opportunity to continue to share that there is One who will "never leave nor forsake" him and pray that the Lord would open his heart to receive Him.

[redeemedbymygoel]

Taking Up the Word in the Spiritual Battle

“And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” ~Ephesians 6:17

Upon the trip to Taiwan and camp with Bring Me Hope, an increasing nervousness has been upon me. The evil one has thrown several fears and God has allowed several circumstances to come into this time: studying for exams to see if I can even teach next year, a hit and run car accident, struggles with ‘fear of missing out’ in the community, parents discouraging comments about the trip, and not mention hugely struggling with the sins in the heart. A huge part of me was struggling with doubts of whether partaking in this work of going to love on orphans was going to be glorifying to God or not because it’s not like I’m going to do intensive bible study or handing out tracts everywhere as well as struggling to see kingdom purpose for going to love on my grandfather who has dementia because of my parent’s discouragements (which I know comes from a place of love, they just are really worried). 

Yet, praise the Lord for His word! This morning I woke up and read Matthew 25 for my devos and this sweet word came from the Lord:

“[33] And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. [34] Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. [35] For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, [36] I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ [37] Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? [38] And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? [39] And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ [40] And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” ~ Matthew 25:33–40

This encouraged me to continue to trust God even as I step out to go in what every He has planned for me in Asia not because of anything I can do but simply because it’s His Word and God is faithful. He will provide a sword to fight the devil’s lies using His Word and God does not forsake or leave His people. 

[redeemedbymygoel]

Waiting on the Lord and Trusting His Sovereignty in Trials

“What it meant to pay the money over that night and secure the premises may be better imagined than described. Then he had not been mistaken after all! His work in Shanghai was not finished. Prayer was being answered and the guidance given for which he had longed and waited.”

~pg 66, Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret

Twenty weeks have passed by in the internship and we are done with our first semester! Summer is all about prepping for camp and there’s one more semester to go in the fall and God has been faithful every step of the way! We started reading the biography of Hudson Taylor, and the excerpt above reflects perfectly one huge theme of this internship- the goodness of the Lord to provide in times of waiting! Hudson Taylor was looking for housing to stay in to evangelize to the Chinese, having gone there rather poor and refusing to take pay for being a doctor, the Lord provided a home for him in the best timing! In our internship calls, we talked of how “waiting on the Lord means resting in God and His timing” and indeed is that something the Lord has taught me in the internship. From fundraising to God’s gracious timing on plane tickets and even more graciousness in canceling and re-booking flights God has had His hand over each event and prevailed in glory with the way He provides to quench every potential worry! The very crux of the internship- desiring to adopt/ foster and praying about mission for the last 2.5 years, seemingly seeing this as impossible due to singleness and rejections from jobs abroad, to seeing God put it all together so quickly and solidified by the Word centered-ness of the internship could not have been more of a testimony to how the Lord answers prayers, not necessarily in ways we think he’ll answer but in His timing. 

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Only in His timing and will are things more glorious than we can imagine. In it all, life still has twists though...

“He must give up his house, remove his belongings to Shanghai and be careful not transgress in future... Those young inquirers- Chang, Sung and the others- what was to become of them? Were they not his own children in the faith? How could he leave them with no help and so little knowledge in the things of God? Yet the Lord had permitted it. The work was His. He would not fail them nor forsake them.”

~ pg 70, Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret

The words above encourage immensely in trusting the Lord in His sovereignty! Hudson Taylor had a heart to evangelize to the Chinese, was provided housing, but then met difficulties a time later when he was kicked out of a certain area that was not “within British allowance” (even though other European countries had occupancy there). He had barely had a lot of time to grow the church to maturity there yet the Lord had permitted it. Taylor trusted that God would work and continued on! It reminds me of when Paul and his brothers in Acts were prevented by the Spirit to go to certain areas and how they meekly followed God’s leading. 

Greatly, the internship was also part of the theme of the grace of God’s sovereignty. God is sovereign in trusting that even though Mitchell aged out that God has a plan for His glory in that. God is sovereign in trusting that although all of a sudden the teaching laws of my district changed where I am forbidden to teacher without a licence. God is sovereign over the extremely tough circumstances I face study for two content exams on education (which I have no background in). He is sovereign that whether I pass and have to go through a 4 year process to get a license (which begs to question a difficult decision to apply to jobs abroad) or that if I fail God will provide a new job or a grace period. God is sovereign over my unsaved family’s lives and my next prayerfully opportune trip to visit my grandpa in Taiwan, which just approved of gay marriage. God is the sovereign over my life so what do I have to fear of all these things? 

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:31-32, 37-39

There are so many unknowns in the future but I am so incredible excited to trust and wait on the Lord through each and every minute of it! I confess that I was met with anxieties the first week where it seemed like everything was hitting hard, but praise God for His grace and wake up call to give these things to Him for He will provide and be faithful to the end. On these promises did the joy come through the anxieties because He reminded me:

“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” ~ Matthew 6:27

The Good Lord is right. Worry did nothing for me. So I choose to trust Him and I’m so excited for the day He provides and being able to as a beloved child say that I trusted my Father in it all and He came through. I will treasure being able to a cherished “brethren” to the Lord say that Christ, who adopted me into His family, worked it out for me for good on the basis of His blood alone. I will cherish being able to say, my kinsman-redeemer who is the bridegroom for the church, of who I am a part of a betrothal to Him for, has valiantly provided for and came through for His bride. 

[redeemedbymygoel]

Paul Tripp“The Character of a Person is Formed in the Little Moments”

Today, I’m listening to a Paul Tripp series on Christian Education and he talks about how the character of a person is formed in the little moments, not the big ones and I found this to be so true this week!

Little Moment #1:

There’s a student that is not a bad kid but for some reason or another, he’s just really talkative and doesn’t want to do work. He’s a smart kid but his grades have dropped because of his behavior and off-task tendencies lately. It’s been like beating a dead horse to punish him and separate him from the class and pulling teeth to get him to do work. Parent calls don’t seem to work and he’s cried in response to all of this multiple times. Inside, I want to root for the kid but there seems to be little opportunity but then we had a quiz this past Thursday... He was sleepy and putting his head down and I tapped him to wake him up and asked him if he was okay. He nodded and I asked him if he wanted a mint to stay awake and he nodded. I got him a mint and he was able to stay awake and I hope it touched his heart, just the little gesture, to know I care about him.

Little Moment #2:

We had a walking field trip and a kid that I saw likes science but is lazy came up to me and started asking me questions about science. I was so extremely blessed at his response. In class, we’ve talked about all the different theories for how the world came into being and I’ve laid out the possible theories for them that I know of: Big Bang Theory, Intelligent Design, and Subsurface Origin Hypothesis. I’ve talked about how theories are able to be disproved such as the first law of thermodynamics on how nothing can be created or destroyed disproving the Big Bang Theory and would actually point to a non-matter force starting the first matter for this to even happen. Subsurface Origin Hypothesis goes against the natural tendency of Gibbs Free Energy where all items tend to go to disorder, not order. Therefore, in order for this to be correct, there would have to be some kind of energy (pre-life) that was put into the system of the earth to get this negative spontaneity to happen, again pointing to a non-matter force starting this first event. The only one that can’t be dis-proved is Intelligent Design, the idea some deity made the earth, since all the other theories seem to point to this. My student repeated this logic back to me and said, “Therefore, it only makes logical sense that a God made the universe!” I was so blessed and praising the Lord that this student had been listening and Lord I pray that you would be with this student and help Him to know you more!