closing your eyes - you feel unpleasant heat. small streams are held back by an incomprehensible feeling, if it’s a dislike of myself in this state, or maybe it's just emotions that I don’t want to show, even when I am alone with myself. but the streams erupt, flow along the embossed cheek, and finally descend to the neck with a little tickling. at the same time, a lump appears in the throat that holds back the emotions that have escaped. it's starting to rain. small drops merge on the face with streams, painfully hit the skin and cause discomfort. but these feelings are very pleasant to me.
90s music in the ears helps to spread this dislike barrier and it even gets a little easier. the areas under the eyes were covered with smeared mascara and an unpleasant layer of salty, already slightly dried up streams. from songs it only gets sadder, and from a cold wind my feet freeze, I want to return to the house, but it is more pleasant to be outside even in bad weather. how long I have not been so good. feel good pain.
unfortunately I can only share this in this form, in the form of some kind of description taken out of the book, only this way is easier for me to say, even rather write.
Unfortunately, I can never share this with people on time. I can only share when I know that they will understand me, console me, maybe even support me, and this is unlikely to happen. the last creek descends along the cheek and I finish. thank.