Hello, hope you're doing well.
(1) Does the concept of zhiji necessarily imply reciprocity? i.e. can i be someone's zhiji/know them but they are not mine?
(2) does the dynamic of a zhiji relationship imply that of the two people, one of them is always in more of a giving/patron role while the other is the one being understood/benefited?
(3) is being someone's zhiji an instantaneous thing (like an instant understanding or spark) or is it ok to think of becoming zhiji as a process/journey as your relationship progresses?
You probably get bothered with a lot of questions on this topic but I don't know who else to ask :) even if you can just answer 1 of the 3 questions, I'll be grateful. These questions have been swirling in my head and i can't find any info online in English.
hi there! folks seem to be really interested in çĽĺˇą zhiji as a term, so Iâll try my best to answer these, but know that this is by no means an objective or comprehensive overview of the incredible versatility inherent in all things linguistic
1) firstly, çĽĺˇą is more like a title conferred upon someone who happens to like, really get you, rather than an inherent quality of a person. One of the most common sentences about çĽĺˇą that I see is ććä˝ ĺ˝ä˝ćççĽĺˇą / I had taken you to be someone who knows me, which is less about any sort of reciprocity of knowing and more about emphasizing someoneâs importance to you. Itâs a little like saying I thought you knew me or I thought we understood each other or I trusted you, because I thought you knew me as well as I know myself. The point is, you can call just about anyone you like çĽĺˇą zhiji; whether the two of you are is something that should probably be mutually agreed upon.
Itâs also possibly worthwhile to look into other terms for close friends and confidantes beyond just this one, because there are many; a trusted aide/subordinate could be your ĺżč
š xinfu, which is literally composed of the characters âheartâ and âbellyâ to illustrate how vital and trustworthy a person is to you. You could say ä˝ĺˇąäşşÂ tiji ren or ĺŻĺ miyou or č´´ĺżäşş tiexin ren to talk about close friends and confidantes; you could have čłäş¤ zhijiao or čłĺ zhiyou or çĽäş¤ zhijiao, who are your best friends, your most intimate relationships, your most trusted people.
Basically, there are options here; itâs not like there are hard and fast rules for being çĽĺˇą zhiji with someone else, any more than there are hard and fast rules for basic friendship and trust.
2) not at all! Just because historically, you can trace the term çĽĺˇą zhiji back to patron-minister relationships in the Warring States period and the Han Dynasty doesnât mean that it hasnât evolved since. I mostly think itâs worthwhile to go down this road of armchair etymology to offer context for the term outside fandom reception of CQL, which tends to code it in the most romantic way possible.
People seem shocked when çĽĺˇą zhiji is a term dropped in casual conversation or daily dialogue, and they really shouldnât be; it is as weighty or as casual as someone makes it in the moment. It is a living, breathing word that is actively employed in vernacular vocabularies, not some ancient artifact only pulled out and dusted off for the most significant/dramatic of occasions.
3) I mean, it can be both, right? Like how there isnât a single standardized journey to best friend status with someone, you can call someone çĽĺˇą zhiji for as something as little as just being on the same wavelength for them in a conversation. You can also make it huge and dramatic like youâre the only one who truly understands what Iâm trying to do, without you I would have nothing, etc etc.Â
In the ă夊术厢ă audiodrama, Zhou Zishu calls Wen Kexing a zhiji just for noticing that heâs sunning himself on the street (because Wen Kexing is the only one who sees through Zhou Zishuâs disguise at that moment, and doesnât take him for a beggar). At that point, they havenât even exchanged a single word, and Zhou Zishu remarks to himself that he hadnât thought to meet a çĽĺˇą zhiji. He makes no more of it than that--just the acknowledgement oh, someone understood me, before moving on with his day.
tl;dr çĽĺˇą zhiji is a term that is as dramatic or casual as you make it
