Organized Chaos

One thing at a time

[perfectfeelings]

“Nothing’s changed. You’ll go home. You’ll be bored. You’ll be ignored. No one will listen to you, really listen to you. You’re too clever and too quiet for them to understand. They don’t even get your name right.”

— Neil Gaiman, Coraline

[sunsetquotes]

“I have to say that although it broke my heart, I was, and still am, glad I was there.”

— Markus Zusak; The Book Thief

[nocnitsa]

Three Philosophers (Les trois philosophes) Henri Charles Guérard, c. 1890-1892

[the-eldritch-angel]

*throws ibuprofen on the ground and watches the aging tumblr populous peck at them like chickens*

[redstarfruits]

It goes against every natural inclination to try living with a soft and open heart versus a closed and hardened one. It is very easy to no longer trust others or shut yourself off from the world. However, you are also prone to losing yourself in the process. Continuing to treat others well despite enduring hardships is difficult. The last thing you want to do when someone spits in your face is to turn around and forgive them. But by forgiving them and letting it all go, you are ultimately able to retain yourself and keep your heart malleable.

For the past two years I have really been struggling to grasp this concept. Logically I understood how it all works. However, putting this way of living into practice is a whole different animal. I almost always find myself having to stop and remind myself to do what is right instead of what I feel. Reprogramming myself to not just lock the door and toss the key at the slightest conflict has been a very slow process. As much as I want to lock the doors and stay safe, it can be incredibly lonely and debilitating to be alone for prolonged periods of time.

Instead of sitting in a room with a bunch of keys and locked doors, I want to eventually stand up and start opening them. Even if all the doors I go through now are foreign, they will be open and so will I.

[mysterium-solis]

The Last Journey by Jakub Schikaneder (1855-1924)

[mangafascination]

[blvckthings]

[fleshmaid3n-deactivated20201226]

[mysterium-solis]

Illustrations by Ernst Stöhr in Ver Sacrum (vol. 1, no. 12, Dec. 1899)

[timbllr]

[extramadness]

[thegreatinthesmall-deactivated2]

[toastbutteregg]

[redstarfruits]

I just want someone to wrap me in a warm blanket and cuddle me until I fall asleep

[the-memedaddy]

me irl

[anxietyproblem]