Pls keep your “Blessed Be”
Someone asked me “what’s wrong with Blessed Be” earlier today and I cannot find my previous post on this so here we go.
The phrase Blessed Be is from a very specific Gardnerian Wicca ritual called the Five Fold Kiss. This was the origin of the phrase. In this ritual, a cis man and a cis woman play the roles of the Horned God and Mother Goddess in a fertility rite during which they kiss each other’s genitals to bless their fertility and sacredness in the Wiccan religion.
The issue is that quoting this blessing outside of the rite doesn’t remove its context and now we’re in a situation where the person you are quoting it to did not consent to participate in the ceremony or the meaning behind these words.
I’m not Wiccan, not cis, not heterosexual, and I absolutely under no circumstances want my womb/genitals blessed. Continuing to say “Blessed Be” once someone explains why they’re uncomfortable completely neglects consent.
If you want to say something nice please consider some of these alternatives.
I keep having people message, reply, and DM to argue with me about when Blessed Be entered the common sayings of Wicca and basically defending their right to say it to anyone.
The Five-Fold Kiss was in the initial papers that were published by Gerald Gardner after the ant-witchcraft laws were repealed in 1951. Their coven had been meeting for years before 1951. Witchcraft Today became the first modern witchcraft publication in 1954 (Lewis, Witchcraft Today). Gardnerian Wicca eventually published The Gardnerian Book of Shadows which contained rituals from their coven’s practices with dates. “Blessed Be” first appeared in a ritual called Drawing Down the Moon as part of what’s known as the Five Fold Kiss. This ritual is dated 1949 and is one of the very first rituals ever published (Gardner, The Gardnerian Book of Shadows. Pg. 3).
If I say that Wicca is not my religion and that this religion-specific greeting makes me uncomfortable, don’t say it to me. I have my reasons for not having become Wiccan. I don’t mind explaining that it’s because of the heteronormative and gender binary language around practice and beliefs. However, I shouldn’t have to explain this to have my lack of consent around this greeting respected.
Avoiding religion-specific greetings, farewells, or customs extended to people outside of your religion is just allowing space for other religions and not forcing yours onto them. It’s not infringing on your rights to practice or express your religion. It’s just saying “please leave me out of those expressions.” Paganism and witchcraft already struggles with Wicca supremacy (everything defaulting to Wiccan standards), please don’t contribute to this further.
Sources:
Rabinovitch, Shelley. (2004). “Drawing Down the Moon”. Witchcraft Today: An Encyclopedia of Wiccan and Neopagan Traditions, pg. 82
Gardner, Gerald. (1954, 2005 ed.) “Drawing Dwon the Moon”. The Gardnerian Book of Shadows. Pg. 3 [link in text here too. It’s just not underlining]
You shouldn’t even have to go through all this trouble providing historical reason (although I do still very much appreciate it). People should just respect the wishes of someone not wanting to be told “blessed be” or any other religious greeting.
