Shrine Maiden of Paradise

Greetings, and welcome to the Hakurei Shrine. I am the shrine maiden here, Reimu Hakurei. Please tell me if you need anything. ((RP blog for Reimu Hakurei of the Touhou series, open to any fandom!)) M!A Effects: None at the moment! Why not give it a try? More Blogs from the Mun: The Lunar Rabbit Fearsome Well Spirit Bowl Full of Stars (Multimuse) ((By the way, please watch what you send to the ask box. Sad to need to tell you to be decent, but I'm a minor.)) ((Please also read the page on the dropdown menu that says "Just a few things!" for me!))

[aurea-dracos-interficientis-dea]

One could equate Reimu to a gnat with the way she was buzzing around Ornstein. A rude flick to his plate here, a small huffing noise there. "All this armor's pointless," She remarked, throwing the lion's head a glance. "Doesn't it just slow you down? Could probably sell it for a good price... geez, imagine how many dinners."

"I am strong enough that the weight does not matter. In any case, armor is a necessary burden when one fights what I fight," he replied, slightly bewildered by the sudden examination and critique. His chain rattled as he shifted to watch the girl flit about, poking and prodding at the golden shell he protected himself with.

"I have little need of money or food. Worldly concerns ceased to be my lot a long time ago.

Now, who are you?”

redwhitemaiden

[redwhitemaiden]

"Reimu."

Surely that’s a reasonable enough answer. Now she’s got out her gohei, returning to her rounds of inspection with rugged prods of the rod. Dissatisfaction creased her face like scrunched rice paper.

"I can’t quite figure it out. Y’can’t be an oni, cause they sure love their food an’ booze; and they’d never wear something this gaudy. Some kind of god..? Hey, you got a shrine? Y’know, to gather faith and all that. Gods can never get enough of that junk, yeah?"

[redwhitemaiden]

"Why are there so many Hakurei gods?" That's clearly Tengu for 'good morning.' "The Moriya only have the two, but their miko seems like your match. Are the Hakurei gods weaker?"

"Dunno. Well, to be honest, those Moriya folks are so obnoxious. Faith this and faith that. I can't even imagine doing all that groveling. Oh, and they're always cooking something stupid. That I have to clean up. Ah, it’s about dinner time.”

The shine maiden turned to shuffle indoors, but not without shooting her “guest” a look that outright screamed, "It’s time for you to go.” Though if he listened carefully (perhaps whispered to him on the wind,) he would hear some invisible force, raising the quietest hell in Gensokyo.

[lori-hime]

[redwhitemaiden]

Casually tosses Sal in the donation box. Enjoy your trash, Reimu!

"Ugh, does nobody realize that throwing trash in here gets old?"

In place of Reimu's hand, a yin-yang orb scooped Sal from the donation box.

"Yeegh, reeks like the fisherman's market stall." Have a good trip, Sal! I'd ask where he's flying to, but Reimu doesn't know either.

[redwhitemaiden]

"...Oh! Didn't hear you come in. Don't mind me; I'm just raiding your wardrobe. No big deal."

"Nice chatting with you."

The village at the bottom of the hill should probably look out for falling hermits. Reimu's throwing arm had been getting a lot of practice with youkai, and rice paper walls don't really take flung bodies very well. 

[redwhitemaiden]

The rabbit comes and drops in a few slips of paper, then claps her hands for prayer and leaves. Was it a donation perhaps? No, it was Reimu's medical bills!

A sigh pushed past the shrine maiden's pursed lips. Why do people have the nerve to throw trash into her donation box? She took a bill between her thumb and forefinger, quietly regarding its shape. After a bit of shuffling it around, she took her other hand and...

Rrrrrrip.

Reimu regarded her work with a prideful glow, marveling at the flawless square she'd made all by herself. She shuffled indoors, tossing the rest of the pile onto her work desk while she got to work folding a crane.

[thewindyninjaofinaba-deactivate]

redwhitemaiden started following you

"What, are you some sort of cosplayer?" As far as he knew, he’d never seen this girl hanging out around the shrine… Who was she?

[redwhitemaiden]

"Cos..." Oh dear, she's confused. Kids and their modern lingo. All of the acronyms, slang, all that hoo-hah was completely lost on Reimu's frilly little head.

She dismissed his comment in favor of surveying her location. There was a shrine alright, decrepit and made of warped wood. But, uh, that's not Reimu's shrine. For one, her tea, cushion and donation were gone from the front steps. Reimu's shrine was old, but not that old. And didn't she leave the doors open?

The shrine maiden turned back to the boy, choosing to ignore the bizarre, geometric shapes behind his figure, below the shrine's steps.

"Hilarious. Youkai never change, do they? Maybe I should nail my box to the ground so nobody can mess around with it anymore. I'll give you ten seconds to cut the crap and scram before I throw you down the front stairs."

[hybridatabernae-deactivated2015]

You know, for the incident solver of Gensokyo, there was a fair number of things she shouldn’t have done. One, was to infiltrate into the shop. Two, to attempt to prank the shop keeper. Three, putting her hand directly on top of his mouth.

Now, granted that Rinnosuke never was the violent type, when something suddenly blocks all the ways you have to breathe and you wake up with something against your nose and mouth, your mind goes through a few possible scenarios, while sounding the silent alarm that something was trying to kill him and he had to react.

So, how did he actually react when his eyes opened up and felt someone’s hand on his mouth? He fricked the fuck out, bit it strongly and jumped up, trying to understand what was going on.

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT A—-REIMU? DID YOU FINALLY SNAPPED AND DECIDED TO KILL ME?”

[redwhitemaiden]

It's awfully rude to bite women. I mean, Reimu agrees! She's recoiled so violently that mountain of the shop's inventory fell from the shelves and onto her head! Oh look at that, from the mound of knickknacks, you can only see her legs and sleeves! Maybe Rinnosuke should dust the place more, if the cloud of dust was any indication.

And lo, the beast emerges from the mess! With a book on her head. A+ comedy, Reimu. It's probably less funny with a look so rotten it could spoil milk. A jerk of her leg sent a bejeweled (and probably very valuable) goblet from her foot, clattering to the ground. 

"Sure, why not?! I'm here to kill you and take your crummy store!"

Reimu righted herself, sending a shower of random objects to the floor, including her book hat. She elected to ignore the mess and nurse her bitten hand.

"Maybe then you'll quit knocking on my door for my money! Gods in heaven and hell, why do you ruin everything I do?!"

"...you didn't have to bite me. It was just a joke."

[hybridatabernae-deactivated2015]

And as the countdown hit the last number, Reimu would soon find out that humans didn’t have only one way to breathe. Sure, the nose was a problem and the poor shopkeeper snorted a bit, trying to get some air through that cavity, but once that was considered impossible…that’s when the loudest, animal-like snoring came in.

“SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE”

[redwhitemaiden]

Reimu offered her own derisive snort. When you humiliate a shrine maiden, she'll pay you back tenfold. While there wasn't a backup plan, that was never a reason to call it quits, especially as an incident solver. With the gracelessness of a large dog, Reimu clapped her calloused hand over Rinnosuke's mouth.

Ew ew ew ew.

Youkai messes were one thing, but hot breath and drool? Bathing her hand in one disgusting package? Awful enough to make any girl's stomach turn, incident solver or no. She silently gagged. Though her breakfast felt far too heavy in her belly. Someone told her once, probably Yukari, that she would need nerves of steel. So she bit her tongue back, and waited for her reward.

[immortalwildfire]

"This some sort of Hakurei apocalypse?"

[redwhitemaiden]

"You say that like it's a bad thing. The more of me there is, the less time I have to spend babysitting people like you."

[drunkenmist-deactivated20160704]

Wow what a spoilsport. Like she’s dumb enough to fire anything that close to the forests. Give her some credit at least.

[redwhitemaiden]

Listen, if Marisa is banned from explosives, so is everyone else. It's not like Reimu can bend the rules or anything. Youkai do that enough on their own. So yeah, any explosions and Rika's permanently grounded.

[hybridatabernae-deactivated2015]

"ZZZzzZZZzz…."

[redwhitemaiden]

Careful, now, Reimu. You don't wanna wake him up. You've worked hard to sneak into the shop without knocking any garbage over. Slowly now. Don't go in too hard...

There. Operation: Pinch Sleeping Rinnosuke's Nose Shut is a rousing success. The results will be shown in three... two... one.

[redwhitemaiden]

"'Ey Reimu! You wanna help out with the light show I'm planning?" She likely doesn't, but that won't stop Rika.

A painfully long beat hung in the air between the girls.

"…I’m shutting down your weird science stuff. Use danmaku like everyone else."

[drunkenmist-deactivated20160704]

Fireworks are basically tiny explosions.

Rika plans to launch large explosions tonight. It’s gonna rock.

[redwhitemaiden]

Not if she wants to keep her toys, she's not. Does Rika have any idea how many forests in Gensokyo are flammable? Like, three. That's an ungodly amount of ash to sweep up.

[redwhitemaiden]

"Why are we curious?" She said nosy, but really, who's keeping score, right? "You don't ask why a fire burns, or the sun shines. We Karasu are the same way."

Are you talking down to her? Reimu could swear that you were talking down to her. Thwap, thwap. Zweeeeee...

"Feh, all the same, you birds. Fancy yourself as poets when all you do is flap around and scream. Don't you have ink to drink, or something? Or bugs to crunch on? Cause I don't wanna play word games when I have better things to do."

Taking a nap? Yes, wonderful. You know, that old journal in her bottom desk drawer is still empty. Maybe she could pretend to be a tengu?

[redwhitemaiden]

Ah, nothing like the smell of recently-absent miko in the morning! "Luk ba, Honored Hakurei," bow bow, donate, "what would you say is your greatest joy in life?"

Thwack, thwack. A clean, proper sound: a thin rod of wood on the flat of the girl's palm. The braided papers on the end of her gohei matched the strict metronome with gentle accompanying swishes.

"Yeah, uh, thanks for your patronage. I like beating up smarmy youkai like you. Y'know, ones that dunno how to mind their own business."

Thwack, thwack, thwack.

"Why is it that you tengu are so nosy? Can't even leave me to enjoy a quiet summer afternoon." A cicada joined in her symphony. Zweeeethwack, eeerreeerrthwack. "Maybe you're writing another dumb article? Another thing I don't get. The newspaper is only good for origami, and even then, it's flimsy."

[redwhitemaiden]

Reimu, why do you do what you do?

Reimu couldn’t care less at the rough wood snagging at her fingers as they drummed at her side, a series of continuous, hollow thwaps on the water-warped wood of her shrine’s porch.

"Well," She hummed. "look at you, thinking you’re so smart. Asking questions like that."

It’s not as if she’d never thought about the “why”s of her job. The afternoon heat always became thicker whenever the thought “Why am I here?” crossed Reimu’s mind. And it was in that thicker-than-stew heat that she rolled over to shuffle to her worktable and pick out a dog-eared novel to pretend to read, just to distract herself.

"Because I have to."

And that was the answer when the question persisted.