random ramblings @redwineprincess - Tumblr Blog

Like a lot of people with BPD, I have a chameleon-like ability to take on the coloring of the individual I am with. But the act is done more to fool me than to fool them. The process isn’t even really conscious. I feel unreal—like a phony. When other people aren’t around me I feel invisible.

BPD patient (via shitborderlinesdo)

viralmotivation

trumanstatedeathwish

How I think I look when I'm eyeing a guy from across the room:

How I actually look:

When I wake up I'm afraid that somebody else might take my place

I don't know how much longer I can deal with this anxiety. I get anxious when I'm by myself, I get anxious if I'm around people. All day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I hung out with people, and this is the point where I would usually be glad to be alone and have me time, but I prefer not to be alone with my thoughts. It doesn't help that my new favorite song is keeping me in this rut, but it just speaks to me. It lingers in that newly emptied cavity in my chest that he once lived. How do you just move on from someone who was your everything for two years? The thought of us eventually growing apart after I move scares me like nothing else. I don't have any "best friends" like most chicks do. He's my best friend. Was my best friend? We just get each other. I don't know if I will manage to find someone again and that's what scares me most.

#afraid