We Don't Owe you Anything
Hey there witchy community I think it’s time we had a heart to heart. I’ve been seeing a lot of disgusting behavior this past week or so and I think it’s time we all have a little refresher on how to be decent people.
If you are asking someone a question, or for help or for resources or for suggestions keep in mind you’re asking a favor.
Favors are not something you get to demand and expect out of thin air. Favors are requests. As in, you are requesting aid. This does not ensure you will receive it and nor should you expect to.
A favor is an act of kindness.
It is not a requirement.
If someone is offering help or aid as a general statement on their blog it does not mean you are entitled to that help or aid.
1. Taboo Topics
You may ask a question about a topic the blogger doesn’t want to answer. They aren’t obligated to answer you. Say you ask about animal sacrifice or cultural appropriation or sex magic. They don’t have to answer you. They don’t even have to reply to you. They don’t have to do ANYTHING they don’t want to do.
Instead phrase your question so you ask permission first. “Is it alright to ask you about sex magic on this blog?” And then WAIT FOR A REPLY before asking. Yeah, it takes a little longer but if you’re asking another person to invest their time why can’t you invest your own?
Even this question doesn’t have to be answered. They are allowed to ignore you. It is THEIR blog.
2. You Do NOT Get to Dictate Tone
Get an answer you don’t like? Tough.
If you don’t like the answer ask someone else or research on your own. If someone answers in a way you perceive to be negative or hostile either unfollow, block, or ignore it. You don’t get to tell someone how they are supposed to reply to you after you ASK THEN A FAVOR.
3. People Have Lives
Unless a blog has mods they are usually run by a single person. Usually that person has a job, is in school or both. They run their blog and help out because they want to. Their schedules and their lives exist outside this website. If an answer isn’t given as promptly as you like tough shit. Get over yourself. Ask someone else or look it up yourself.
4. Check FAQs, Abouts, Directories & Links
If you ask a question that has already been answered you’ll likely get a link to the places you should have already checked. If you’re asking someone else for their own time INVEST YOURS. CTRL+F and a 10 minute glance over is not a big deal. Do it.
5. We are Not a Search Engine
If you want to know spell compenents for “honey” use Google, use Bing use Tumblr tags… If you want a personal answer phrase the question that way.
“Have you used honey in your witchcraft before? If so what sort of spells did you use it for? Did it work out?”
Have a conversation instead of demanding a reply. If it is interesting we are more likely to enjoy answering it.
6. Ask Appropriate Questions
If someone isn’t Wiccan asking them questions about Wicca doesn’t make sense.
There is an entire tag for Wicca that you have at your disposal. If you want a person’s specific perspective on a topic ask THAT question. “How do you feel about Wicca and do you incorporate any aspects of it in your own craft?”
7. Time Sensitive is Not Absolute
Even if you have an ask that is an “emergency” or time sensitive doesn’t mean it gets priority or that it will be answered within the window. Some people compose long answers to posts and research and add sources. Some people have huge backlogs of asks. Some people only answer asks on certain days. Just because you have time restraints doesn’t mean others have them as well.
Remember that you are asking someone to help you and that they aren’t obligated to.
If you really want help being polite and kind is a lot more likely to yield results than to demand and expect.