MASTERLIST || TAGLISTS || FAQ ||HC/PREF REQUESTS OPEN || MY MARVEL BLOG || MY AO3 || MY TWITTER ON WRITING HIATUS! Dean/Jensen!Girl - loves Misha/Cas and Jared/Sam too. Writer. Aesthetic Maker. Wife Positive -adores Danneel. Anti Hate. Safe space for all. 95% SPN Content with a dash of me and other fandoms. Be respectful and friendly and we’ll get along just fine.
Summary: Imagine the Driver got away. Not much plot in this one, just a moment in time.
Word Count: 2500ish
Warning: Mention of canon typical violence, past domestic abuse
Prompt: I wrote this for my 100 drabbles to say I love you personal challenge (I am hellbent on finishing the list even if it’s gonna take the rest of my life lol. The prompt I used is “Is your seatbelt on?”
A/N: I’m Danish so bar with me. I have been writing fanfiction for a few decades now, but have also been on a long break from it. Trying to get back into it. This is also the first time I write for any of Ryan’s characters. I hope I pulled it off.
The numbers and letters on your screen were starting to morph into one huge black burry bloop. You rubbed your eyes and looked back at the screen. No change. You weren’t sure any amount of coffee in the world would make much difference. You let out a small sigh and looked out of the window. It was quiet. No staff or residents in the garden. They were probably getting ready for dinner. You looked down at your watch to confirm your suspicion. Time to call it a day.
You stretched your arms over your head. Smiling a little. This was your favorite time of day. You got up, grabbed your bag, checked inside to make sure your purse was there. You unzipped the hidden compartment slightly, seeing the dark handle of the gun before quickly zipping it back up. You never used it. You knew how. He had made sure of it. It was an insurance and his only condition for keeping you with him.
You closed your eyes, letting them rest for a bit after a long day spend sorting though medicin and work schedules. It wasn’t the life you had pictured when you went to nursing school all those years ago, but it was a better life than you had ever dared to hope for.
Stepping out into the hallway you nearly collided with one of the other nurses heading down the hall way carrying a tray of food, no doubt for Mrs Adams, who never left the room unless when you came to take her for her daily noon walk in the gardens.
“Oh Hi Mary,” the nurse laughed as she placed a hand over the mug, preventing a spill. “Heading home?”
You never really got used to that name, but had learned to answer it either way. It wasn’t who you were but it was the illusion that kept you safe. The illusion that kept him alive.
“Yeah,” you answered a little absent-mindedly as thoughts of your past life entered your mind.
You hadn’t been dealt the best of cards. Born to a single mom, whose only flaw was choosing the wrong men. You had been her only child, no siblings share the grief or fear of ever revolving door of stepfathers with. The first fifteen years of your life had been so turbulent and filled with abuse and violence, her overdose and death had been a relief. Not because she was a bad mom, but because she wasn’t a good one. Because instead of being a source of protection, her choices had been the course of every single scar covering your body.
“Mary?” Nurse Julie’s voice sounded bringing you back to the present.
“Sorry,” you flashed her a smile. “I was just thinking. I’m probably swinging by the garage before heading home.”
“James’ lost track of time again?” she giggled, causing the smile on your face to be more genuine this time, even though you never got quite used to that name either. It wasn’t who he was either but you were the only person in the world who knew that.
“Probably.” Your answer was a lie. You knew he was completely aware of the time, as well as everything around him at all times, when he worked on the cars. You knew he found peace in the work, mostly anyway. A small piece of him had never been at peace unless he sat behind the wheel of a car. The only place in his life he had ever felt in complete control. No one knew that. Only you. It was staying that way.
“You’re so patient,” she added. “If Mike spent as much time at the garage as James does I would lose my mind.”
You just shrugged, “he enjoys it and he is helping people.” That wasn’t a lie. You knew James was well liked in town. He never charged more than he had too. Unless he decided the guy bringing in the car could either afford it or was an asshole. He was always polite and kind to people. He worked fast and people depended on him.
“Just like you here,” Julie smiled at you, and you lowered your gaze with a smile. You had never been good at people complimenting you.
“I guess. See you tomorrow Julie.”
You walked out into the small quiet town, choosing the main-street to get to the garage tonight. It didn’t make much of a difference. During the mile long walk only a single car passed you. You recognized the driver as the headmaster of the middle-school.
You had learned everyone’s faces. He had taught you that. You needed to know who belonged in order to spot the ones that didn’t. There weren’t many strangers passing through here and in the two years this place had been your home, there hadn’t been a single person from LA. Maybe they had forgotten about him? New problems to be fixed might have let old ones fade into distant memory. You hoped so.
On your way to the garage you stopped into the small diner, picking up a couple of sandwiches. It was a beautiful night with the setting sun painting the world in a golden light. You weren’t in the mood to head home just yet.
You saw him the moment you turned the corner. The garage door was open as always. He was dressed in work pants and a dirty white t-shirt, standing leaning over the hood of a car. As if he sensed you coming he stood up straight, turning towards you; giving you a small smile and a wave, before returning his attention back to the car.
Most people would have thought he was being dismissive, but you knew better. You saw the softness in his eyes, just like every time he looked at you. You understood the wave was a request to give him a few moments to finish up what he was doing and your nod had been all the confirmation he needed.
You sat on the sidewalk, first admiring him from a distance. That had been the way it was since you were 10 and up until the moment he had saved you from the stepfather that refused to leave after your mom had died. You knew you should have been scared of him after that night. It had been a miracle your stepfather had survived. It had been no wonder you had never seen him again. There had been a violence in the neighborhood. You had admired from a distance for a long time but you could never have predicted the rage and violence he had released that night. A violence that had been beaten into him by a much older brother and father; teaching a soft, caring boy the world was cruel and the only way to survive was to learn to be crueler.
Cruel wasn’t a word you would use to describe him though. You weren’t even sure violent was a word you would use. You knew he was capable of inflicting it, but it had never been a first choice. It had always been a means to an end. Something used to protect himself or the people he cared about.
After the night he saved you he started coming around. Helping you fix whatever around the house was broken, helped you get your moms old beat up beetle back into working order or he just sat with you. He listened when you talked and eventually he told you of his family. You weren’t all that different and you started to feel safe, because of him. Safe enough that you began dreaming. You wanted to be a nurse.
It wasn’t a dream that was in your reach though. School cost money and you were barely making ends meet as it was. That was until he started showing up with money. You had refused to take them at first, but then he just started shoving them in your mail box, leaving them in your clothes or hiding them in your fridge.
Only after you had given in and started using them for your dream to come true, had he confessed what it really meant when he told you he got them driving. You had been furious with him at first. Not because he was breaking the law. The law had never done you any good and you knew he wouldn’t hurt people just to get paid. You had been furious because he had put himself in danger for you. You calmed down when he had promised you he would never leave the car, he wouldn’t handle any weapons or engage in the robberies directly. He just drove.
The noise of the impala pulling up next to you, brought you out of your daydreaming. You smiled when he leaned over; opening the car door for you from the driver’s seat.
“Did you fall asleep?” he asked with a smile on his face and the softness in his eyes you would never grow tired of looking into.
“Narh, just enjoying the evening.” You replied as you got into his impala.
“Wanna go for a drive?” he asked, making you smile and nod.
“Is your seatbelt on?” He looked at you with a teasing glimmer in his eye and a crooked smile.
You shook your head with a laugh, shooting back at him. “Do I need to?”
“No.”
He grinned, never taking his eyes off you, as he pressed his foot down on the peddle causing the impala to jump forward with a roar, before it flew down the street.
You had expected it, but a small gasp still escaped you, causing him to laugh as his eyes left you for the road. You knew the speed should scare you or at least make you uneasy, but you weren’t. Not with him behind the wheel. This was not just where he found peace. It was also the safest place in the world to you. He was in complete control and there was no one in the world you had ever felt safer with and nothing you'd rather be doing than sitting besides him as he made the impala fly down the road.
The people witnessing the speed of the impala though town would think this behaviour was out of character for the mild-manored mechanic and his nurse wife, but they didn’t really know either of you. They certainly didn’t know him. They would never expect their polite quiet neighbor to have killed anyone or to have been close to death himself.
The memory of him parked outside the ER that night when you got off from work still gave you nightmares. He had been pale as a sheet, but had somehow still managed to stay awake as you went back inside and stole whatever supplies you had needed. You had begged him to pull over every time you had seen a motel, but he had refused and it had taken you pulling the handbrake 6 hours out of town before he had finally let you guide him into a room.
If you hadn’t been 0 negative and done a blood transfusion while he slept, no amount of packing or cauterising the wound would have saved him. You had driven the car the next 6 days with him laying in the backseat, telling you what happened in pieces in between losses of consciousness.
After two weeks he was almost back to himself and that had been when you caught him trying to sneak out in the middle of the night.
“Where are you going?” you asked him sitting up on the bed.
“Away.”
“To where?” You asked, receiving no answer. He still stood with his back turned to you, but he stayed still. He didn’t answer you because he didn’t trust you. He didn’t know.
“Okay. When will you be back?”
“I won’t”
He still hadn’t turned around, but the words felt as if he had smacked you across the face. You bit back your tears and got up. Swallowing hard as you reached out, taking his hand, making him turn around to face you.
You looked up at him and saw the pain in his eye. “Take me with you”
“Y/N” he began, before you cut him off.
“There is nothing in LA for me if you’re not there. Take me with you.”
He stepped forward, bending down slowly, making your heart skip a beat. He pressed his body against yours. You felt his breath on your face and the warmth of his firm body against yours. He didn’t touch you, giving you every chance to move away. You didn’t. You moved closer, clinging to his beat up jacket wanting the kiss to never end.
He had never kissed you before that night. He had barely even touched you. Still, you had never doubted his love, but also you had never wanted to push him. The simple action of being next to him had been enough.
That kiss to this day never failed to make you smile when you thought about it. You had known from the day you met that he was your sanctuary, it wasn’t until he kissed you that night and gave your hand a squeeze as he walked out the motel room with you close by his side, you had realized you were his too.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, you could hear the smile in his voice as you had no doubt had a dopey expression on your face thinking about him and that first kiss.
You looked straight at him, smiling as he focused on the road, but you knew he was aware of your every move nonetheless.
“About kissing you,” you answered him truthfully with a hint of a dare in your voice.
Your driver looked at you with a slightly baffled look in his eyes, not used to you being so forward. He quickly glanced back onto the straight empty countryside road stretching out before you. Then he looked back at you and you both smiled as you leaned towards each other. Your one hand cupping his jaw and the other hand finding his, that had left the gearshift and was now resting comfortably on your thigh.
You kissed him going 80 mph down the road, feeling happy and never safer. You were well aware this town might not be your home forever and no one would ever really know either of you, but you didn’t care. He knew you and you knew him. No matter where in the world you would find yourself , he would be right by your side, keeping you safe and loving you the same way you loved him and that would always be enough.
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NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.
